Chapter Eight
Mia
I wake up first. I roll over and realize I am sore from the night’s activities.
I also remember my last thought before falling asleep for the night…
and know I’m not wrong. There is something special between Austin and me, something I doubt I’ll find again with any other man.
He is in tune with my body, my emotions, and attentive to what I need and when.
I am falling for the man, and it isn’t hard to do.
Not when I am living in his house, taking care of his daughter, and caring about everything he is going through with his ex.
But that is the crux of the problem. His ex-wife ruined him for future relationships. He made that clear to me before sleeping with me, so I have no one to blame but myself if he is coming to mean more to me than an easy fling.
I push myself out of bed, leaving the sexy man sleeping on his back.
The sheet dips to his waist, revealing the corded muscles, hot tattoo, and sexy sprinkling of hair trailing down to his waist. He flung one arm over his eyes as if covering them from the incoming sun from the window. He breathes in and out in a deep sleep.
I smile at the sight, turn and head for the room where I put my things, and take a hot shower in the spare bathroom.
I change into a faded pair of jeans and a red and black flannel shirt, tying my damp hair up in a messy bun.
Then I walk into the kitchen to make breakfast for us both, determined to put my emotions on lockdown as I often did as a child.
Yes, my childhood was fine, but I learned to wrap up my feelings and store them in mental boxes with tight lids that wouldn’t, couldn’t open up and spill out all the painful things that could hurt me.
Like Christmas, when all the kids at school listed their many gifts, and I knew I was fortunate to get the one item I received from my foster family.
I heard stories from the social workers who spoke in hushed voices about the kids who weren’t as fortunate, who didn’t celebrate Christmas or receive anything for the holiday.
So I told myself I didn’t care about the number of items, that it was the thought and the one I got that mattered. Then I boxed up the pain I felt listening to the others, the hurt that came when I thought about how my parents weren’t alive to celebrate with, and pushed it all aside.
And now, as I crack eggs for our omelets, I box up my growing feelings for Austin because he can never, will never reciprocate them, and tell myself to be grateful for now.
For this weekend in the cabin and my time alone with him.
Soon enough, we’ll have to deal with the problems that await us back home.
“Good morning!” Austin strides into the kitchen, freshly showered, his hair damp, wearing a pair of jeans that look sexy on his muscular frame and a dark grape-colored Henley.
He looks good enough to eat.
“Morning!” I say as I scoop the second omelet I made with vegetables, cheese, and eggs onto a plate and place both dishes on the table.
“Wow. You didn’t have to do this.” He glances at the meal. “But I’m glad you did.”
I hand him a cup of black coffee the way he likes it and settle into the chair beside him. “My pleasure. So what’s on the agenda for today?”
“I thought we’d take a walk. It’s beautiful this time of year.
And then I figured we’d come back here and fuck like bunnies until the real world intrudes.
” I catch the sinful look in his eyes as he raises his cup and takes a long sip before he turns more serious.
“I’m supposed to get a call from the PI I hired.
He’s due to update me on my ex—and I asked him to pull someone in and get them looking into your former boss.
We need to prove he’s sending someone after you.
Otherwise this shit will keep going on and I won’t have it. ”
My body goes from tingling at the mention of fucking like bunnies… to ice-cold at the reminder of the trouble waiting for me in the real world.
“Most of that sounds like a really good day.” I force a smile.
He covers my hand with his. “Sorry for the blunt reminder. But we’re going to get ahead of both things. I have faith.”
And I believe in him. “I know.” We finish our meal in silence.
A little while later, we pull on our outerwear and head for a walk. The air is crisp, and it smells like fall, dry leaves, and grass. My mood lightens at the feel of the cool air on my cheeks and the fresh scents all around me.
To my surprise, Austin reaches out and grabs my hand, holding on as we hike through the woods.
“So… let’s just get to know each other,” I suggest into the silence.
We began on the car ride up, but there is more I want to know.
Little things to learn about him and store away in those mental boxes of mine.
“Okay. Favorite color?” he asks.
“Yellow. Yours?”
“Blue.”
I shake my head and laugh. “You’re such a typical man. Favorite music?”
“Classic rock,” he says.
I eye him with amusement.
“What?” he asks.
“You’re just predictable to me.”
We step over rocks and crunchy leaves. “Your favorite music?”
I bite down on my lower lip though I don’t need to think long. “Pop music. Like Taylor Swift and Summer Michelle,” I say of the up-and-coming pop star who won the television show Star Power.
He tugs on my hand, and I meet his gaze. “Ben, who works for Alpha Security, is engaged to Summer. My bet is you’ll be meeting her when her tour comes to New York.”
“Oh my God! That’s amazing!”
He grins at my enthusiasm.
“Okay, let’s keep going. Favorite drink?” I ask.
“Alcoholic or not?”
I shrug. “Both.”
“Beer… and water. I’m not fussy. You?”
“White Russian and a chai latte.”
He laughs. “Okay… favorite holiday?” he asks, picking the next question.
I swallow hard. “You go first,” I say. No matter my sunny outlook on life, holidays were always hard for me. They always will be.
“Thanksgiving,” he says.
“Why?”
“Because it’s about family. I like the traditions. You’ll see this year.” He squeezes my hand more tightly, and a little pang hits me in the heart.
Because they are his family traditions, and I’ll be the outsider looking in. Just as I’ve always been. The nanny to his daughter, not his girlfriend or someone with meaning to him beyond my paid role. Of course, I am sleeping with him, but that doesn’t count.
I bite my lip hard to distract myself.
“Mia? I asked your favorite holiday.”
“Oh. It’s too hard for me to choose,” I lie.
I do my best to get through them all. I don’t love any one in particular, because I don’t have wonderful memories associated with them like he does.
He comes to a halt, pulling me to a stop when I keep going. I take a few steps back toward him.
“What’s wrong? Why are we stopping?”
He smooths back the hair the breeze blew onto my cheek, and I tremble at his touch. “I’m an insensitive ass.”
I blink up at him, not understanding. “Why would you say that?”
He shakes his head. “You go through life so happy. You insist you had such a good childhood that it’s easy to believe you and forget…
you were in foster care. No matter what you tell the world, it couldn’t have been easy.
Holidays had to have been hard. And I’m an idiot for not realizing that before I asked that question. ”
A sudden lump rises to my throat, one I’m not used to feeling, because like he said, I do go through life happy and mostly grateful.
Grateful my life wasn’t worse. That good people took care of me.
But they weren’t my parents, and nothing can make up for that fact.
I just rarely let myself think about it… or remember.
“How did you figure me out?” I ask.
A sad smile lifts his lips. “Oh, I caught your tone of voice. And I know your heart and how hard you try to convince people everything is always great.”
“It usually is,” I mutter, not wanting to fall apart in front of him. “And that wasn’t an insensitive question. And to be honest, I guess it would be Thanksgiving, too. Because it’s the season of giving thanks. I’m grateful for the ability to always look on the bright side.”
He tips my head up with his hand beneath my chin. “You’re a special woman, Mia Atwood.”
“Thank you.” I force a smile, unnerved by something he said, buried in the speech about how well he knows me.
He said he knows my heart.
He can’t. Or he’d know I am falling in love with him.
* * *
Austin
Back at the cabin, I sit in front of the fire. I kick my feet up on the large ottoman in front of me and stare into the flames.
I can’t shake my conversation with Mia. How have I never realized how deeply her past affects her? I caught the wistfulness in her voice and immediately realized so much about this warm, loving woman. She gives to everyone without thought to whether or not she’ll get back in return.
I run a hand through my hair, frustrated there is nothing I can do to change what is missing in her life. Nothing but… show her how special holidays can be by sharing mine with her. I look forward to that.
Before I can think further, my cell rings. “Reality intruding,” I mutter. A glance at the screen and I am right.
“Hey, Dante. What do you have for me?” I ask.
“Your ex is involved with a guy who’s heavy into drugs. And considering the guy he met up with last time I tailed him? He’s probably into dealing, too.”
“You just earned a bonus,” I say, beyond pleased. “Tell me you recorded something.”
“Photographs. Nothing that’ll help you with your ex. Yet. But I’m closer.”
I blow out a deep breath. “Thank God for small favors. What about info on Parker Alexander?” I ask as Mia walks into the room.
Her eyes open wide at the mention of her former employer.
I hold up a finger, telling her to wait while I gather details.
“Unfortunately, he lies low. According to my partner, he doesn’t meet with anyone, stays holed up in his apartment. I can’t get to his phone or computer, so I’m stuck unless he leaves the premises and we can tail him.”
I shake my head and frown. “Stay on it,” I tell the other man.