Chapter 19 #2
Yes, they had. “When he killed his first girlfriend, Mia, and her family, the Baton Rouge cops said it was a home invasion gone wrong. He wasn’t charged with that crime.
He still hasn’t been charged. But I got enough of his old classmates to talk to me, to say that he’d been dangerous and controlling with Mia.
They shared enough to paint a picture and when I told the DA prosecuting him for my family’s deaths—when I told the DA what I’d learned, he used that information and he pushed even harder against Cody.
The DA was able to bring up some of the accusations when he caught Cody in a lie about his old school.
Cody created an opening for the DA, so he was able to reference some of the suspicions and—” She exhaled.
“Cody’s lawyers objected, but a pattern had been shown to the jury by that point.
They stopped thinking that I’d orchestrated the whole thing.
That was Cody’s defense, that I’d manipulated him.
Planned it all. But with the information on his previous girlfriend, the way she died…
even if the cops from that town had thought it was a robbery gone wrong, the jury connected the dots.
They found Cody guilty. He got locked up. ”
But he’s trying to get out.
“It’s hard to get close to someone,” she said, her voice low as the words just kept coming.
“It’s hard to give yourself completely to someone when the first boy you loved killed your family and tried to kill you when you wanted to slow things down with him.
You try to get close to other men. You do.
You try to not let what he did keep you in a prison for the rest of your life, but you find yourself always suspecting potential partners.
Wondering what darkness they hide deep inside.
Wondering when it will come out and grab you.
” There. Some of her twisted pieces, pulled out for him.
“So, yes, that’s why you were the first. Because I was too worried about the darkness inside of all the others. ”
“But you’re not scared of my darkness?”
“No. Because I was in the dark with you.”
“Fuck.” Rumbled. “You are…fuck. Angel, you should be more careful with me.”
No, she’d been careful with everyone else. “I want you to know me. My past. My present. I want you to know the bad things about me. I’ve hidden myself from everyone else.” Even from Lily. “But I don’t want to do that with you.”
He brushed back a lock of her hair, his fingers sliding softly over her cheek. “What makes me so different?”
A million things. Where to start? “The way I feel with you.” That was true.
“You touch me.” Just as he was doing right then.
A light skim across her cheek. “And I feel that touch in every part of my body. It’s like I’m tuned to you.
I react more strongly to you than I ever have to anyone else.
I’ve been able to hold back with others, but I don’t think I can, not with you.
” Was it because they’d been thrown together in darkness?
Maybe.
Or maybe it would have always been the same.
Maybe they could have talked for the first time in the light, and he would have taken her hand when she introduced herself to him, and she would have felt the same way.
She would have felt the same intense connection with their first touch.
“I was on your property when you were taken because I was coming to introduce myself. I wanted to tell you everything that I had discovered about your past.”
“You wanted me for your research.”
Now she had to smile at him, even as her heart ached. “I’ve researched plenty of people. I hate to shatter your illusions, but you are not the first adult offspring of a serial killer that I’ve ever encountered.” Not even close. “Got to confess, though, I never wanted to have sex with any of them.”
“Obviously, or I would not have been your first.”
“You seem caught up on that point.”
“I am. Sorry.” Gruff. “It…I’m not good enough for that.”
What?
“You should have been with someone special. Not someone with blood on his hands. You deserve better. More.”
Her head turned. Her lips skimmed his palm.
“I happen to like your hands.” Another soft kiss against his palm.
“I like the way they feel when they touch me.” Callused fingertips.
Leashed strength. “I like the way I feel.” Her head eased against the pillow so she could gaze into his eyes. “I feel safe when I am with you.”
“I am not safety.”
“So you’ve said before. I disagree.” She bit her lower lip, then had to ask, “What do you think would have happened, if our first meeting had gone as I planned?”
“You mean if there hadn’t been some twisted SOB who kidnapped us both and we wound up in the ground?”
“Yes, that. That’s what I mean. Do you think you would have kicked me off your property when I told you who I was and what I knew? What my research was about? Would you have pushed me out of your life right then and there?”
Silence.
Why had she even asked him about—
“I’m not that much of a dumbass.” His hand slid down. His index finger lightly traced her lips. “I think you would have flashed your smile at me, and I would have asked you to dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Dinner. Right then. Right there. I would have taken you out. I would have tried to charm you even though I am not charming. I think I would have looked into your eyes, and I know that I would have wanted you just as much as I want you now.”
“So it’s not…adrenaline? We’re not adrenaline.”
“No.”
She smiled, her lips curving as his finger traced over them.
His lashes fluttered. Surprise came on his face. “First time.”
“Yes, we did cover that.” How long would he be stuck on that point?
“No, angel. I meant that’s the first time your smile has reached your eyes. Makes them change. Gold glints in the dark.”
Her smile faltered.
“That’s my favorite smile that you have,” he told her. His hand slid away. He leaned toward her. His lips brushed against hers.
She didn’t know what to say. What to do. And…
“Do you want me to leave on the lights?” A careful question from Preston.
“I…” It was so bright in the room, but she wasn’t ready for total darkness. Not yet. “Maybe just one?”
He gave a voice command, and all of the lights turned off, except one soft lamp, glowing in the far corner. He shifted in the bed. Sloane feared he was going to leave, so she grabbed his arm.
“You’ll stay?” Sloane pressed.
“As long as you want me.”
Well, then you’ll stay forever. But she didn’t say those words. She couldn’t. He tucked her against his side, one arm sliding over her stomach, but then she felt him stiffen.
“Is it too much? Do you feel…trapped?”
“Not by you.” Her fingers twined with his. “How many times will I have to tell you? With you, I feel safe.”
His breathing was slow. Steady. His arms warm and strong. The faint light in the corner spilled a soft glow into the bedroom, and her eyes began to drift closed. Sloane was almost asleep when—
“How can you feel safe, knowing what I’ve done?”
Her eyes opened. No pretending. No denying. No lying. “You mean, knowing that you killed him? Knowing that you killed your father?” Would he admit it? Would he tell her—
“Yes.” Flat. “Knowing that I killed the bastard, that I slammed his head into a rock and broke his neck, how can you ever feel safe with me?”