Chapter 11 Collette
COLLETTE
It’s a Friday night, and my apartment is full of women and noise, and I’m living for it.
It’s the last weekend before the season starts.
Most weekends during the season are games or travel days to other games, we hardly get them at home.
Vi arrives first with three bottles of wine and a cheeseboard because she’s classy like that.
Eve shows up with tequila. Harper and Meadow came together straight from the office, Harper in a power blazer she hasn’t bothered taking off, Meadow already reaching for the wine.
Issy arrives looking disgustingly happy, which I’m choosing to ignore because she’s the reason my brother left me.
Camryn Starr and Kimberly Skye, Harper’s besties, who own and run a luxury events company, show up last with dessert and gossip.
We all settle in and gather in the living room. Harper pops a bottle of champagne and starts pouring everyone a glass.
“To Collette,” Harper says, raising her glass. “Finally free of the St. Pierre brother watch.”
“I’ll drink to that.” I clink my glass against hers.
“How does it feel?” Issy asks.
“You know when you’ve been wearing a really tight bra all day, and you finally take it off?” Every woman in the room nods. “It’s like that but for my entire life.”
“I lived with my brother for two weeks and wanted to kill him,” Harper adds. “How you survived this long is a miracle.”
“Two brothers,” I remind her. “And a dog who eats shoes. I miss Frankston already.” I pout.
“You can visit him at Issy’s. He’s her problem now.” Vi chuckles.
Issy raises her glass. “Happy to take one for the team. Your brother has the shoe department on speed dial.”
The night continues from there. More wine, more tequila, music getting louder, everyone sprawled across my living room like we’re nineteen again.
Camryn is telling a story about something that happened at one of her events, involving a very famous person doing something very inappropriate in a coat closet.
Kimberly is shaking her head like she’s heard this one before, but is still horrified.
“Speaking of inappropriate,” Harper says, turning to me with that look she gets when she’s about to be nosy. “Any cute players on the team catching your eye?”
“No,” I quickly respond.
“No? Not even one?” she pushes.
“Harper, I don’t date hockey players,” I tell her.
“Omg, why not? They are the best. I never dated an athlete before, always went for the guys in suits, which never turned out well for me. Then Felix happened, and that man has the stamina of an ox, goes all night long.”
“La, la, la. Ew, that’s my brother,” I scream, putting my fingers in my ears. This has everyone in hysterics.
“Collette has a type, and it’s someone that doesn’t know her brothers,” Vi teases.
She’s not wrong.
“You know, I’ve noticed something,” Harper says, swirling her wine. “The fans are commenting a lot about you and Fish online. Like, a lot.” What? No. It’s not that much. “Because the content between the two of you is good.”
“That’s the point. It’s my job to make engaging content, and Fish is charismatic on camera,” I explain to her and the others.
Harper’s eyes narrow. “Yes, he’s very charismatic. We’ve all seen the striptease.” The women all nod.
“The entire world has seen that.” I shrug.
“I’m just saying, professionally speaking, when the two of you are on camera together, some kind of magic happens.”
“It’s the flirting,” Meadow adds.
“He’s not flirting with me. The man would flirt with his own reflection, it’s just him,” I explain. Except that’s not true, I don’t think he’s as superficial as I first thought. He showed me another side of himself at the hospital.
“He does have an endless stream of puck bunnies in his bed,” Issy adds. Exactly girl. I’m not prepared to be a notch on that well-used bedpost.
“Doesn’t he appear frequently on that bunny sex forum?” Vi blurts out.
The room stills.
“What did you say?” Meadow asks.
Vi stops and looks at me, realizing she has put her foot in it. “Nothing.”
“Um, no, that sounds like something,” Harper asks. “A bunny sex forum?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “It’s on Reddit.”
“It’s real?” Issy exclaims.
I nod. “It’s like a puck bunny database where they rate the players they have slept with.”
The girls look at me in surprise and shock.
“Rate is putting it politely. They grade them. A, B, C, and so on,” Vi adds.
“On what?” Camryn asks, leaning forward.
“Performance, size, kinks, everything,” Vi explains.
“No way,” Issy says.
I nod. “Fish told me about it weeks ago. I shouldn’t have looked, but I did, and now I can never unknow what I know.”
“Wait, Fish told you about this?” Harper questions me.
“Yeah.”
“He told you about a website that rates or ranks players’ sexual prowess,” Harper continues to push.
“Yes. He thought I knew about it,” I tell her.
“Or he wanted you to read about him. I’m assuming he has good comments, otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned it.” Harper smirks, sipping her champagne.
“He does. Really high marks,” I confess.
“I need to read about this.” Camryn chuckles.
“Show me,” Harper asks.
“I’m not showing you. There are things on there about my brothers.”
“Pierre is on there?” Issy looks taken aback.
“Not recently, obviously, but the website goes back to the start of his career,” I explain.
“Does he know about it?” Issy asks.
I shake my head.
“It has to be harmless, right?” Camryn asks.
“It’s not harmless. Some of it is really detailed,” I warn them, but I can already see Harper’s fingers flying across her phone.
“Found it,” Harper announces, eyes widening as she scrolls. “Oh my god, there are hundreds of entries.”
“Harper, maybe don’t ...” I start.
“Pierre St. Pierre,” she reads aloud, and I want the floor to swallow me.
“Don’t you dare.” I point at her.
“I’m not reading your brother’s out loud, I’m not a monster.” She tilts the screen toward Issy instead.
Issy leans in, and I watch her face go through about six stages of emotion in three seconds. Her cheeks flush, her lips part, and then she presses them together very tightly like she’s physically preventing words from escaping.
“Well?” Eve asks.
“No comment.” Issy takes a very long sip of her wine.
“Your face is commenting for you.” Camryn laughs.
“You go, Issy.” Eve grins at her sister.
Vi covers her ears. “I don’t want to know. He’s practically our brother.
This is disgusting.”
“He is my brother,” I fire back.
“It’s not disgusting, it’s educational,” Eve argues.
“It’s traumatizing,” Vi fires back.
“Can we move on from Pierre, please?” I beg.
“Felix,” Harper says, already scrolling.
“Harper!” I squeal.
“What? He’s mine. I’m allowed to read about my own boyfriend.” She has a point. She reads in silence, her face completely neutral, which is somehow worse than if she reacted. She puts the phone down, picks up her champagne, and takes a slow sip.
“And?” Meadow leans in.
“No comment.”
“You’re both doing no comment? That’s not fair,” Kimberly protests.
“Fine. I’ll say this.” Harper pauses. “They’re accurate.”
The room explodes. Vi is screaming that she needs to bleach her brain. Eve is cackling. Camryn is doubled over. I’m sitting here trying to forget that these reviews are about my actual brothers, with whom I share DNA.
“I need more wine for this,” I grumble, refilling my glass.
“Emmett Black,” Camryn suggests. “The captain. He’s hot in that brooding, mysterious way.”
Harper scrolls. “Here we go.” She starts reading, and her eyebrows climb higher with every line. “Wow. Okay.”
“Read it,” Kimberly demands.
“‘Didn’t say a word the entire time. Not one. Just moved me where he wanted me, and I let him because when a man that size puts his hands on you like that, you don’t argue. A-plus. Would ruin my life for a second round.’” Harper looks up from the phone. “There are more.”
“Keep going,” Meadow says, leaning forward.
“‘The captain runs that bedroom the same way he runs his defensive line. Controlled. Precise. Devastating. I didn’t know silence could be that loud. My legs didn’t work for two days.’”
“Jesus Christ,” Vi whispers.
“There’s another one. ‘He doesn’t ask what you want. He already knows. I’ve never felt so seen by a man who literally didn’t speak. Rating: A. Only reason it’s not A-plus is because he didn’t stay for breakfast, and I really wanted him to.’”
The room is silent for approximately three seconds and then erupts.
“The man doesn’t speak?” Kimberly looks like she’s having a spiritual awakening.
“Apparently, he doesn’t need to.” Meadow smirks.
“Who knew the quiet ones had it in them,” Camryn says.
“I wonder if he’s single,” Kimberly muses.
“He keeps to himself. I don’t think he’s dating anyone.” As far as I know, the captain’s personal life is a locked vault. “He lives in this building, actually, on the same floor just down the end of the corridor. But you never see him.”
“The mysterious ones are always the best,” Camryn says knowingly, which earns her a look from every woman in the room.
“Anything you want to share about Nate?” Harper teases.
“Absolutely not.” Camryn grins into her glass.
“I want to read about Fish, he has the reputation for being a player.” Harper smirks at me. “Let me find out if it’s true.” She scrolls, stops, and her mouth falls open. “Oh.”
“Oh? What does oh mean?” Eve asks.
“It means oh.” Harper clears her throat.
“‘I thought the confidence was an act. It is not an act. This man talks the entire time, and normally that would annoy me, but when Fish talks dirty, it’s like your brain short-circuits and your body just does whatever he says. A-plus. I’m not the same person I was before that night. ’”
“Oh my god,” Kimberly whispers.
“There’s more. So many more.” Harper scrolls. “‘Funny, filthy, and genuinely cares if you finish. Three times. I finished three times. I didn’t even know that was possible for me. He also ordered me a pizza after and walked me to my car. A-plus-plus if that’s a thing.’”
“Pizza after?” Meadow laughs. “That’s actually kind of sweet.”
“Here’s another. ‘The man has the mouth of a devil and the hands of a god. He tells you exactly what he’s going to do to you and then does it better than you imagined. I’m ruined for other men. Truly ruined. I’ve tried to move on. I cannot. Rating: A-plus. Big Fish is not just a nickname.’”
“Oh, Big Fish, I like it.” Harper chuckles. “And you’re just friends with this man?” Harper asks, her eyebrow nearly hitting her hairline.
“Yes. We’re friends. That’s it.”
“Girl.” Vi stares at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” But the way Vi says nothing means everything.
“Can we please move on to someone else?” I take a large gulp of my wine.
“Oh, what about the Russian guy, Artem Evanoff?” Meadow asks.
“Okay, let’s have a look.” Harper grins. She scrolls for a moment and then goes very still. “Oh. Oh no.”
“What?” Camryn leans in.
“I was not prepared for this.” Harper’s eyes are wide as she reads.
“‘Don’t let the silence fool you. This man has a box under his bed that should come with a safety briefing. He asked me my limits before he even kissed me. I didn’t know I had limits until he found them. A-plus. I have never been the same.’”
The room erupts.
“A box?” Kimberly squeaks.
“Under his bed?” Vi looks horrified and fascinated in equal measure.
“There’s more.” Harper scrolls with the intensity of a woman on a mission.
“‘Evanoff is not for beginners. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and he will take you apart piece by piece and put you back together after. He held my face and told me in Russian that I was beautiful while doing things to me that I can’t say out loud.
I cried after. Happy tears. Rating: A-plus. ’”
“He spoke Russian during?” Meadow asks, fanning herself.
“Apparently.” Harper is still reading. “‘Three words. Ropes. Blindfold. Accent. That’s the review. That’s all you need to know.’”
The room loses it. Eve is screaming. Camryn has her hand over her mouth. Kimberly looks like she needs to lie down.
Vi shakes her head. “It’s always the quiet ones.”
“Fish and Evan are best friends,” Issy states. “One won’t shut up in bed, and the other doesn’t need to talk.”
“I need to bleach my brain.” I groan because now I have to see Evan at work on Monday and pretend I don’t know about the box under his bed.
“I can never look at these men the same way at work.” Issy giggles.
“At least you get to look at them.” Kimberly sighs.
“You should come to a game,” I tell her.
“Don’t tempt me.” She grins.
“Honestly, though, the fact that this exists and these women just put all this information out there is kind of wild,” Meadow says, the voice of reason in a room full of chaos.
“Fish said they’ve tried to get it taken down, but it keeps popping up,” I explain.
“That’s actually really messed up when you think about it,” Issy adds, and she’s right. As funny as tonight has been, these are real people having their most intimate moments rated by strangers on the internet.
“It is,” I agree. “Fish hates it. He joked about it when he told me, but I could tell it bothers him.”
The room goes quiet for a second, the quiet that happens when drunk women accidentally stumble into something real.
“Anyway.” Vi holds up the tequila bottle. “Who wants another shot?”
And just like that, the moment passes, and we’re back to screaming and laughing and being ridiculous.