Chapter 37 Fish
FISH
Felix: Fish married my sister.
Sully: Are you concussed?
Bouch: What the fuck?
Nelly: Which sister???
Emmett: Seriously?
Felix: Collette.
Sully: Married how?
Bouch: As in legally married? Or spiritually married.
Felix: As in flew to DC in the middle of our Christmas party and got married.
Nelly: I’m sorry, what?
Evan: Fish. Is this true?
Istare at my phone, fuck. Evan is going to be so hurt I didn’t tell him.
Fish: Yes. It’s true.
The chat goes insane.
Bouch: During the Christmas party?
Nelly: When? We were all at that party. How?
Evan: I’m not surprised.
Bouch: Wait, you knew?
Evan: I knew they were together. I didn’t know about the marriage.
Bouch: What the hell, Fish? You didn’t even tell your bestie.
Nelly: So #Fishette was real all this time.
Fish: Yes.
Sully: The videos were convincing.
Nelly: I can’t believe the biggest playboy is married. Married!
Bouch: The bunnies are going to be so upset.
Fish: More for you.
Bouch: Fuck you. Now is not the time to be cute. We are pissed with you. We should be angrier with you than Cap.
Fish: I’m sorry.
Nelly: I expect this from Fish, breaking the rules. Cap breaking them was a shock.
Emmett: Sorry.
Nelly: We’re all tender here, Cap.
Sully: Guess all your ire for Cap this morning was a lie.
Fish: Sorry. I had to play the part. We weren’t ready to tell anyone.
Nelly: Don’t blame you after seeing Cap knocked out by Pierre.
Pierre: I’m sorry. I took things too far.
Evan: You did.
Bouch: What a start to the year.
Nelly: My world has been tipped upside down. I am not sure which way is up anymore.
Fish: Sorry, Nelly.
Emmett: Sorry.
Nelly: I will get over it.
Sully: Wait. How are you still alive, Fish? You married a St. Pierre, while Cap just dated one.
Emmett: Totally unfair.
Pierre: Because my mom is here, otherwise, he would be dead.
Fish: Felix did shove me into the wall. I thought he was going to hit me.
Felix: I wanted to, but Harper stopped me.
Nelly: Harper, the MVP of the situation.
Bouch: Does that mean Collette is no longer a St. Pierre and she’s now a Crawford?
Fish: Yes.
Pierre: No.
Felix: No
Bouch: Collette Crawford. Mrs. Fish.
Sully: Mr. and Mrs. Crawford, that sounds so weird.
Pierre: La, la, la.
Evan: Congratulations.
Fish: Thanks, buddy.
Bouch: You can tell how sad Evan is.
Evan: Fuck you.
Sully: Okay. I have questions. But first, Congratulations, man. Honestly. If you’re happy, we’re happy for you.
Fish: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
Sully: That’s actually kind of sweet.
Nelly: Disgusting. But sweet.
Bouch: Are we sure Fish hasn’t been abducted by aliens? Is this a cry for help? Have you been kidnapped, and this is your code word?
Fish: It’s real. I’m a happily married man.
Bouch: This is so weird hearing him say that. Cap I understand, he’s old, but Fish.
Emmett: Fuck you. I could still take you on.
Sully: Hey, I’m the same age as Cap.
Pierre: Me too.
Evan: You’re fucked now.
Bouch: I’m sorry!
Sully: The internet is going to lose their mind when they find out about the two of you.
Fish: Shit. I hadn’t thought about it.
I look around the room and see my captain with a black eye and a sling.
My brother-in-law, who tried to shove me through drywall twenty minutes ago.
My other brother-in-law, who punched a man unconscious this morning.
My mother-in-law Claire, who seems like a sweetheart.
My sister-in-law, who’s furious with my wife, but still held her while she cried.
And my wife, sitting beside me, rings on her finger.
Secret’s finally out.
This family is chaos. And it’s mine now.
Don’t fuck this up.
I won’t.
I leave Collette at Emmett’s apartment to let her sort things out with Jo.
She kisses me at the door, quick, in front of everyone, and Pierre and Felix make a gagging noise, which earns Pierre a slap from Issy.
Progress. But I don’t go home, I stop at the liquor store on the corner, buy the most expensive bottle of Russian vodka they have, and make my way to my own apology tour.
Evan opens his door in sweats and a T-shirt, takes one look at the bottle, and steps aside.
“Took you long enough,” he says.
His apartment is immaculate because it’s Evan’s apartment, and the man lives like a museum exhibit, everything in its place, not a dish in the sink, not a pillow out of line. I set the vodka on his kitchen counter, and he pulls out two glasses without being asked.
“I should have told you,” I say.
“Yes. You should have.” He pours two generous measures. No ice. Evan doesn’t believe in ice in vodka, he says it’s an insult to Russia.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He pushes a glass toward me. “Drink.”
We drink, the vodka burns in the best way.
“I knew you were in love with her. What I didn’t know is that you’d gone and married her without telling me.”
“It was spontaneous.”
“You flew to DC in the middle of the Christmas party. That’s a military operation.”
“A spontaneous military operation,” I joke.
He doesn’t laugh, which means he’s genuinely hurt.
“You’re my best friend,” he says, and the simplicity of it makes my chest tight.
“I’ve had your back through every stupid thing you’ve ever done.
I sat with you on a bench in Vegas while you told me you couldn’t fuck a stranger because you were in love.
I covered for you at the Christmas party.
I lied to the boys for you. And you didn’t tell me you got married. ”
When he puts it like that. “I know.”
“That hurt.”
“I’m sorry. You deserved to know. You deserved to be there.
” I take another sip. “I was going to tell you when we got back from Christmas. Then I was going to tell you after New Year’s.
But then the Emmett thing happened, and everything exploded, and I just kept pushing it back because I was scared. ”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of it blowing up,” I confess.
“It kind of did.”
He’s right. It did, not as bad as Cap and Jo had it, though. “I was scared that if it came down to it, Collette would have chosen her family over me.”
Evan refills both glasses. “That’s the most emotionally intelligent thing you’ve ever said.”
“Don’t get used to it.” I chuckle.
“I won’t.” He takes a sip. “For the record, I would have been happy for you.”
“I know that, which makes it worse.”
We drink in silence for a minute.
“I need to ask you something,” I say.
“If it’s about my skincare routine, I’ve told you, it’s genetic.”
“It’s not about your skincare routine.” I take a breath. “Collette and I are going to have a proper wedding in the summer. The real thing. Family, friends, the whole deal. She deserves that, and so do our moms. Oh shit, I haven’t told my mom yet.”
“Fucking hell,” Evan curses.
“Anyway, we have nothing planned just yet, but I’m going to need a best man.”
Evan goes still, his glass is halfway to his mouth, and those dark eyes lock on mine.
“I can’t think of anyone else I’d want standing next to me,” I say. “You’ve been there for every part of this. The good parts and the stupid parts. Especially the stupid parts. You’ve been my best friend since the day I got drafted and you told me my hair was offensive.”
“It was offensive. You had frosted tips.” He shudders.
“The point is, you’re my person. After Collette, you’re the person I trust most in this world. And I want you beside me when I marry her again.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “You’re an idiot,” he says.
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course, it’s a yes.” His voice is thick in a way I’ve never heard from Evan. He clears his throat. “Someone has to make sure you don’t do something stupid at the altar.”
“Like what?”
“Kiss her before the priest tells you to.”
I jump up and pull him into a hug, which makes him grumble, he hates hugs, but I don’t care. “Ew, get off me.” That makes me laugh harder. I do love to annoy him.
“I have a question?” he asks, becoming serious. “Are you …” He hesitates as if he is searching for the right words. “Are you okay being with the one woman for life?”
Oh. “Yes.”
“You didn’t hesitate,” he questions me.
I shake my head. “No. When you know, you know. Collette gives me so much more than some random hook-up.”
“Aren’t you worried about no sex?” he asks.
“No. We are in the honeymoon phase at the moment, I get that, but no, because I’ll have her.”
“You are pussy whipped,” Evan jokes.
“Proud of it too,” I tell him.
“You’re a different person.” He smiles.
“Not too different I hope.”
He shakes his head. “Matured.”
“I’m a husband now.” I chuckle.
“That is weird to hear you say.”
“It was weird at first and now it feels right.” I knock back another shot of vodka.
“Do you think the company is going to be pissed about you and Collette?”
“I guess, walking in with Jo and Emmett might help.”
He doesn’t look convinced. “Will you do a press release? You know your fans will want to know.”
“I’ll leave that up to my wife,” I say, which earns me an eye roll.
I get home a little buzzed from the shots of vodka I had with Evan, but I need to call my mom before the story gets out.
Mom picks up on the second ring. “Justin?”
“Hey, Mom. Happy New Year! Do you have a moment to chat?” I ask her.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” She starts to panic.
“Nothing’s wrong. Something’s happened, and I need to tell you.”
“Are you injured?”
“No.”
“Are you in trouble?” she asks.
“That depends on your definition of trouble,” I answer her.
“Justin,” she says my name in warning.
“I got married.”
The line goes dead silent, for a second I think the call dropped out.
“Mom?”
“I’m here. I thought you said you got married.” Her voice is very, very calm, the dangerous kind of calm.
“I did.”
“Justin!” she screams. “What the hell were you thinking? Is she pregnant?”
“Mom! It’s nothing like that.” I try to calm her down.
“Then why the hell did you get married?” she questions me, and that is a legitimate question.
“Because I’m in love.”
“With someone I’ve never met or heard of,” she argues.
That is fair. “You know her, well, you know her brothers.”
Mom goes quiet. “You’re not talking about #Fishette, are you?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god.” She squeals. “So, it’s true.”
“Yes.”
“I’m so happy for you. Collette St. Pierre seems like a wonderful young woman from what I can see online,” she tells me.
“She’s amazing.”
“Is that the woman you were talking about at Christmas, who made you happy?”
“Yep. We got married the day before I came to see you.”
“What!”
“We were drunk, but it was real,” I explain to her, skipping the sex bits, how I just proposed to her, and that on the night of our Christmas party, we flew to DC and got hitched.
And that today has been a pretty wild start to the new year.
She said she saw the article about Emmett and Jo and was going to call me about it later because she thought I would still be sleeping off a hangover.
I wish. I tell her how Pierre punched Emmett, and things escalated, but now everything is out in the open so everything should be good.
“You need to come down and meet her,” I ask her.
“For sure, sweetheart. Anytime, I’ll be there.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Don’t be. Am I disappointed that I didn’t get to go to your wedding? Yes. But I understand you did it in the heat of the moment,” she explains.
“I’m going to marry her again in the summer, just need to sort things out,” I tell her.
“Oh, that is wonderful news. I can’t wait. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I try not to get emotional over her praise. “I really love her, Mom. I’ve never been happier.”
Now I’ve set her off. “Sweetie. I can hear it in your voice.”
“But I am worried about work. There’s a policy of no fraternization,” I tell her.
“Maybe you two being married might null that clause,” she suggests.
I hadn’t thought about it like that, but it could be a possibility. “We’re back at it tomorrow, so I guess we will find out then.”
“Good luck, it will all work out.”
“Hope so.”