Chapter 16
Anais
As I drifted in and out of sleep, I tried to process everything that had just happened with Leo.
I had heard his last words to me as he pulled me into his arms. I knew he wanted to keep me safe, wanted to make me his, but I still didn’t know what the exact offer was, nor if he truly had the power to give me what I’d need.
Being with him was a heady experience and I had enjoyed every second of it. The way I could just let go and the pleasure he gave so freely—it was what was addictive.
He had given me more orgasms in only a few days at his hands than many men had ever given me across months of relationships, and he seemed to enjoy that as much as his own pleasure. I had no doubt that being his would be more of the same, but he would enjoy his control even more.
I wanted to explore it when we didn’t have our lives threatened at every turn. I wanted to find out what it would be like to be enthralled. At the same time, I finally had a team and they knew me to some degree.
Not only that, they accepted that this happened for the most part. They understood that working with someone like Leandro was a good decision, especially if it meant that we could stop other vampires from killing people.
After letting him have some of my blood and the long day that had led to here, I was tired, but I also knew I couldn’t rest for long. I needed to make sure the rest of my team were safe. We had to be sure that everyone got back okay and no one else was hunted.
For several minutes I was torn between staying in Leo’s arms and snuggling up properly, and putting some clothes on to go check on Naomi and Alan even if I couldn’t get to Tess and make sure she was okay.
I worried more for her than Naomi and Alan, but I had to hope that Petros was as trustworthy as Leo had proven so far.
All of this mission was based on the trust I had in Leandro. He’d asked us to come to help him. Admittedly, it was a mission that benefited vampire hunters. We would be killing a lot of their kind. Already had killed one of them. But it still needed us to be able to trust Leandro and Petros.
I wriggled, unable to get my mind to quieten when I was worried about Naomi and Tess. Leo stirred beside me and his hands shifted, roaming my skin again.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Not when I’m worried about my team,” I replied, hoping he would understand.
He kissed my neck, not far from where he’d bitten me, and I almost instinctively tilted my neck and head for him to drink more of my blood. It was worrying. Already I was sure he had taken as much as I could afford to give him. If he drank much more, he would weaken me too much.
Thankfully he only gave me a few more kisses and stroked my skin, his fingers lazily running up and down my arm. “Do you want to wait up for them?”
“If you don’t mind.” I tried to shift to get up, but Leo kept his arms around me and continued to stroke my skin.
I opened my mouth to ask why he wouldn’t let me go but he continued to stroke my body.
It didn’t take long for me to work out that he intended to play with me some more if we weren’t going to sleep yet.
I still wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to be toyed with again, but having his body close and his hands roaming stoked a fire inside me that didn’t appear to want to go out. He made me hot and I knew that I would never be entirely sated.
Rolling toward him, I sought his mouth. After pressing my lips to his as well, I took the rare opportunity to be able to touch him. He was finally naked and I could see every inch of him. With no restraints on, I could reach out and touch him in any way I wanted.
His body wasn’t as cold as a turned’s body usually was, and it explained why he was careful whom he let near him.
It was one of the big indicators that he was a Brethren and not the turned.
It made it even more enticing being close to him.
A lot of the turned abilities that made them seem more magically human were ones they only had selectively.
Some of the turned could pass more easily as human than others. The Brethren could do all sorts, and if they got hold of relics, they were even more powerful. It wasn’t hard to see how they had gotten to the point where they had the world at their fingertips.
None of that changed how I felt about Leo.
I was addicted to him, but not the way an enthralled was addicted to their master.
That was a different addiction. I could get addicted to being fed on as well.
My mind was addicted to his presence. The way he looked at me.
And how good it felt to be curled up in his arms.
Most of my life, I had never been quite fully safe.
Not unless I was at one of the houses my parents had managed to convince me were safe.
And after they had passed, even those safe houses hadn’t really felt safe.
Especially not after they were gone. Until I’d killed Ludis and discovered that I could trust Leo, I hadn’t ever felt fully safe.
Each night I had to calm my body to sleep. Except for now. Right now, in his arms, I knew I was safer than I ever was.
I let him arouse me again, agreeing that it was the best way to pass the time while we waited for everyone. Going out there to look for them would only put them all in more danger. The target appeared to be on me and me alone.
Leo kissed my skin, keeping me tucked in close to him so he could kiss where he wished. It was easy to simply let him do as he pleased, but I pressed my lips to any skin I could get to, exploring the body before me as well.
After all his desire to control, it was a relief to know that he would also allow me this.
I ran my hands across his chest, feeling the muscles, his heartbeat and the stomach that was partially sated on me.
He wasn’t wearing anything and his cock was already hardening, reacting to my touch, or his exploration of me.
He ran his hands over my breasts and gently cupped them.
I gasped, my nipples extra sensitive from all the pleasure and pain he’d put them through, let alone the orgasms that had followed.
No matter how satisfied I had been, feeling his hands touching such intimate parts woke the desire in me again for more.
My body grew hotter and the heat spread downward until I clenched my thighs together, remembering how good it had been to have him finally plunge into me. Since we’d met, I’d not thought of another man in the same way. I was spoiled for him.
I reached down until I had his cock in my hands, getting to touch him for the first time. Feeling a little shy, I was gentle and barely dared to look up at him. As if approving of my bravery so far, he also reached down and ran his hand softly over my pussy.
Sucking in a breath at the sensation, I gripped him a little tighter in retaliation. I began to stroke him, moving my hand up and down his shaft, my gaze still lowered, watching his body and the reaction to my touch.
“Go slowly,” he said. “I am happy to let you touch and explore, but only if it pleases you. I want to show you the pleasure I can give you. This isn’t about my pleasure.
I’ve had what I need to clear my head, and you need to know what being cared for by me is like.
How much is in my ability to give to you. ”
I paused, unable to speak or breathe. “Do you mean that?”
He took my hands off him and lifted them to his mouth. Gently, he kissed my fingers, one by one, his gaze flicking to mine after each hand.
“What if I want to touch?” I asked.
“You may. As much as you wish, for now.” He smirked, making it clear that this was a temporary concession.
I appreciated it, but also grew frustrated at being told I could touch, but him making it clear he didn’t want me to get him off.
While it was clear he wanted me to feel pleasure, I also took satisfaction from pleasing him.
I considered his words, waiting for him to make another move, but he either anticipated that I had questions or picked up on it. “I don’t want pleasing me to be a chore for you. If my pleasure is your focus, I want it to be...”
As I trailed off, Leo put a finger to my lips. “There is nothing about you that is a chore. I enjoy this. I enjoy you. Have so many men made you feel like your pleasure is effort that you don’t believe that it can be fun for the right person to give you pleasure?”
Tears sprung to my eyes, unbidden, and in some ways unwanted. Leo was right, and it hurt to not feel worth being loved in that way. Was it really right to expect someone who loved me to give love to me in that way?
“You like to please, do you not?” Leo asked.
I nodded, knowing that was what I had been about to say.
“Then understand that when I say I do as well, I mean it just as much as you. I truly want to take care of you, Anais. In every way I possibly can. This isn’t lust. I won’t grow bored of you.
And even if we did grow apart, I would never take your freedom away.
I want to know you are choosing me every day as much as I am choosing you.
If you are trapped, addicted, or need my finances to survive, you’re not choosing me, so I won’t allow it. ”
It was the most understanding words anyone had said to me before, and for some time I couldn’t speak. I’d learned to be entirely self-reliant, making sure I had what I needed, and here he was offering to make sure I was okay for the rest of my life as long as I was willing to be his right now.
When he looked at me, I could see the depth of emotion in his eyes, but it just made more tears come from mine. I didn’t trust myself to speak in response, and Leo even seemed to understand that.
He pulled me into his arms, holding me tight against him, and then pulled the covers tight around us. I rested against him, calming down, safe and feeling more loved than I ever had.
I didn’t know how to answer him. I knew I wanted to, but I was scared to. Being with him would mean walking away from the life I had known. It would mean turning my back on being a vampire hunter. Could I do that? Or could I ask him to come to Vegas so I could continue on with my team?
There was a possible third way. My team and I didn’t see eye to eye with the academy as it was. Could I go rogue, in the same way my parents had, and form my own vampire-hunting team somewhere else? Maybe go back to Scotland finally?
There were a lot of questions and they all raced around my head, vying for me to speak them. It all depended on what Leo was imagining.
“Would I still be a vampire hunter?” I asked him when I finally felt calm enough to face the possible answers. “If I agreed to be with you. Can I still be me?”
Leo shifted again so he could look at me and I could more easily see his face, but he kept his arm over my torso, not relinquishing the contact between us entirely.
“I might have to ask you not to kill some turned. Like Petros, for example.” Leo smiled for a moment, both of us knowing that was obvious, but it was worth saying to be sure we understood each other.
“And Brethren would be off limits. I also don’t know if we could always be in Vegas. I answer to my uncle.”
“So sometimes we would go wherever he sent you?” I asked.
After letting out a sigh and looking away for a moment, Leo nodded.
“You don’t seem particularly pleased about that,” I replied, hoping he’d keep opening up to me.
“Not many people know this, but my father was once the leader of our clan, not my uncle. I was supposed to be the next leader and...” He trailed off.
I didn’t interrupt him or say a word, waiting for him to figure out how to say what he needed to say.
“Most of the time, I don’t want to lead, but now and then my uncle makes a decision and he’s callous toward our people, or the world in general. Sometimes he’s also wrong, or greedy. I don’t want to be just like him. But I don’t want to be like my father either.”
“You’re allowed to be you, not either of them,” I replied.
He nodded. “I feel like I can be me, with you. That there might be a way to build a future we both like better.”
I swallowed. Until now I had been looking at his offer entirely as if it was about me and what he could give me, what it would cost me to say yes. The knowledge that it would also cost him something was new. Did he really want me so much that he was willing to risk his own goals?
“Does that answer all your questions?”
As I considered it, I shook my head. I still wanted to know what might happen, but before either of us could say anything else, the sound of more people returning to the suite disturbed us.
I rolled away from him and out of bed as quickly as I could. He sat up and frowned, but as soon as he saw me grabbing my clothes to make myself decent and go out there, he did the same.
Although I really wanted to continue this conversation, I also needed to know that my team were okay and see if it was Alan and Naomi or Petros and Tess returning.
I left my underwear off to speed up getting decent, choosing to pull my dress back on and neaten my hair so I didn’t look quite so disheveled.
The mirror nearby let me know that I had looked worse, and given that I would be walking out of Leo’s room with Leo, I didn’t doubt they would suspect what I had been up to anyway.
Barely waiting for Leo to also be decent, I opened the door and hurried out, any shame I might have felt at being seen with him far less than my concern for my friends. I needed to know they were okay.