Chapter 22 - Aubree
TWENTY-TWO
AUbrEE
“Are you taking the cattle to market tomorrow?” I ask Jesse as we sit on the couch in front of the fireplace a few days later.
At some point, it’ll get too warm to have the fire going, but right now it offers me some comfort in these uncertain times.
“Yeah, and I’m sending you to Nora’s. I don’t want you out here while we’re gone.”
I tilt my gaze up to him. “What about Truett?”
“He’ll be well taken care of. You, Atlee, and Nora will be together at Nora’s. The three of you are the ones I’m most concerned about.”
This is different for us. I’ve never known him to worry about anyone other than his brothers or Truett. He’s never been the type of person to show his feelings. The I love you he gave me was a crack in the armor, and I don’t expect it to show up very often. “What do you think’s going to happen?”
“You never know. The men at the Morrison place probably saw that it was us. Do I know that for sure? No. It was dark, and there was a lot going on, but I know that Noah suspects more than he’s letting on.
My fear is he’ll catch y’all at a vulnerable time and someone will slip up.
” He frames my face with his hands. “I’m not going to let that happen. ”
There he is. The man who’s harder than he needs to be. The one who can strike a tiny sliver of fear into anyone with a few words and a stern look.
“We wouldn’t betray you.”
His palm moves to the back of my head, and he cups it surprisingly softly. “I’m not saying you would, but any of you could be used against us. I’m not willing to put you in that situation.”
Warmth creeps into my chest, whether it should or not. Knowing that he cares enough about me that I could be used against him is flattering. It gives me hope that this isn’t just some fling, and he’s praying I’ll leave again.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” His deep voice is laced with a grin. “I can hear it contemplating.”
I smile at him before rolling us over so that I’m straddling his waist. He slaps his hands onto my hips, holding me close. “Just eighteen-year-old me is really excited she’s in this position.”
He presses up into me. “Well, thirty-something-year-old me is happy about it too.”
The firelight dances across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the intensity in those striking green eyes.
My fingers trace the dark beard that frames his mouth, feeling the coarse hair beneath my fingertips.
He’s beautiful in that rugged, dangerous way that’s always made my pulse quicken.
“You know what I was thinking about earlier?” I murmur, my hands sliding down to rest on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my palms.
“Tell me,” he says, his voice rough with desire as his thumbs trace circles on my hip bones.
“I keep thinking about what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten embarrassed and left after I kissed you.” I lean down, my honey-blonde hair falling like a curtain around us. “What if I would’ve been brave enough to stay?”
His hands slide up my sides, leaving trails of fire in their wake. “Maybe we needed those years apart. Maybe we both had some growing up to do.”
“Maybe,” I whisper against his lips before capturing them in a kiss that starts soft but quickly deepens. He tastes like whiskey and promises, like everything I’ve ever wanted but was too scared to reach for.
His hands find the hem of my shirt, and I help him pull it over my head, the fabric joining the growing pile on the floor. The firelight plays across my skin, and I watch as his gaze traces the heart-shaped birthmark on my breast, his finger following the same path.
“Perfect,” he murmurs, his voice thick with reverence that makes my chest tight with emotion.
I reach for the buttons of his shirt, my fingers working with practiced ease now. Each inch of revealed skin shows more of the tattoos that tell the story of his life. Some I recognize from before. Others are new, marking the years we spent apart.
“This one’s new,” I say, tracing a particularly intricate design that wraps around his ribs.
“Got it about two years after you left,” he admits, his breath hitching as my fingers explore the ink. “Needed something to focus on besides wishing I would’ve responded to that kiss.”
The admission catches me off guard, raw and honest in a way that Jesse rarely allows himself to be. I lean down and press my lips to the tattoo, tasting salt and skin and something uniquely him.
His hands are everywhere now, relearning the curves of my body with a reverence that speaks louder than any words he could say.
When he rolls us over, positioning himself above me.
The firelight catches in his dark hair, and I think I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than this man who’s claimed my heart twice now.
“Aubree,” he breathes my name like a prayer, and I arch up to meet him, our bodies fitting together like they were made for this, for each other.
The world narrows to just us—the crackle of the fire, the sound of our breathing, the whispered words of need and want that fall from our lips. He moves with a controlled intensity that sets my nerves on fire, each touch deliberate and claiming.
When I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, he groans against my neck, his beard rough against my sensitive skin. “God, Aubree. You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Good way to go,” I manage to gasp out, my nails digging into the muscles of his back as he finds that perfect rhythm that makes my entire world tilt on its axis.
He lifts his head to look at me, those green eyes dark with desire and something deeper, more dangerous. “Look at me,” he commands, and I do, even as my body threatens to fall apart beneath his touch. “I need to see you.”
So I keep my eyes locked on his as he takes us both over the edge, as my name falls from his lips like a benediction and his fills my throat in a cry that echoes off the cabin walls.
Afterward, we lay tangled together on the couch, my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slowly return to normal. His fingers curl through my hair, and I trace lazy patterns on his skin, both of us reluctant to break the spell of intimacy that surrounds us.
“Jesse,” I finally whisper, my voice still hoarse.
“Mmm?” The sound rumbles through his chest.
“Be careful tomorrow. Please.” I lift my head to look at him, suddenly struck by how dangerous his world really is, how easily I could lose him again. “I know you can take care of yourself, but…”
He cups my face, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. “Hey. I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. Not again.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise,” he says, and there’s something in his voice that makes me believe him completely. “But you be careful too. Stay with Nora and Atlee. Don’t take any risks.”
I nod, though part of me chafes at being protected, at being seen as something that needs guarding. But I understand now that it’s not about my capabilities. It’s about how much I mean to him, how the thought of losing me terrifies him as much as losing him terrifies me.
“Jesse?” I trace the line of his collarbone, gathering my courage. “I need you to know something.”
He goes still beneath me, his hand pausing in my hair. “What?”
“I care about you. So much more than I should, probably. More than is smart or safe or logical.” The words tumble out in a rush, years of bottled-up feelings finally finding their voice. “I know we’re complicated, and I know your world is dangerous, but I—”
He silences me with a kiss, soft and lingering and full of things he’s not ready to say out loud yet. When he pulls back, his eyes are soft in a way I rarely get to see.
“You think I don’t feel the same?” His voice is rough with emotion. “You think I’d be sending you away tomorrow if you didn’t mean everything to me?”
My heart stutters in my chest. “Everything?”
“Everything,” he confirms, his hand sliding down to rest over my heart.
“You scared the hell out of me when you came back. I’d finally gotten to a place where I could function without the thought of those lips against mine, and then there you were, and I realized I’d just been going through the motions. ”
I press my palm over his hand, holding it against my chest where my heart is beating so hard I’m sure he can feel it. “I love you,” I whisper, the words slipping out before I can stop them. We’ve said them before, but it was in an emotionally higher situation.
His sharp intake of breath tells me he heard them, and for a moment, panic flickers through me. Too much, too soon, too…
“I love you too,” he says quietly, and the world stops spinning for a heartbeat before it starts up again, faster and more vivid than before. “God help us both, but I love you too.”
Relief floods through me, followed immediately by a terror so acute it steals my breath.
Loving Jesse has always been dangerous. He’s the kind of man who burns bright and lives hard, who makes enemies as easily as he makes allies.
But lying here in his arms, watching the firelight play across his features, I know I’d rather have this, as dangerous and uncertain as it is, than spend another day pretending I could be happy without him.
“We’re a mess,” I murmur against his chest, pressing a kiss to his heart.
“Yeah,” he agrees, his arms tightening around me. “But we’re our mess.”
The fire begins to die down, casting longer shadows across the room, but neither of us moves to tend it.
Tomorrow will bring cattle runs and separations and all the dangers that come with the life Jesse’s chosen.
But tonight, we have this—the warmth of the dying fire, the solid reality of each other’s bodies, and the fragile, fierce thing that’s grown between us.
“Get some sleep,” he murmurs against my hair. “Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”
I nestle closer, breathing in his scent—leather and smoke and something wild that’s purely Jesse. “Are you going to drop me off at Nora’s?”
“Yeah, darlin’. I’ll drop you off.”
His breathing evens out beneath me, but I stay awake a while longer, memorizing the feeling of his arms around me, the sound of his heartbeat, the way his chest rises and falls with each breath.
In a few hours, he’ll be gone, and I’ll be left with Nora and Atlee, waiting and worrying and trying not to think about all the things that could go wrong.
But right now, in this moment stolen from time, everything is perfect. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe these perfect moments are what make all the danger and uncertainty worth it.
The fire crackles one last time before settling into embers, and I finally let sleep take me, safe in the arms of the man who’s always been my greatest risk and my deepest desire.