Chapter 9 - Morgan
Right now is enough.
Except it's not, is it?
The thought creeps in as Casey holds me, both of us still catching our breath, still pressed together in this tiny room that smells like sex and motor oil.
Because right now will end. It has to. The sun will set, tomorrow will come, and then what?
I just lost my virginity to a man I met yesterday. A man with a daughter and a business and a whole life here in Blackwater Falls. A man I'm already half in love with, which is insane and terrifying and completely stupid.
My legs are still shaking. I can feel him leaking out of me, warm and wet between my thighs. My body aches in places I didn't know could ache.
And I've never felt more alive.
"We should probably get dress, maybe" Casey starts, then trails off.
"Yeah," I agree, even though I have no idea what we should probably do.
He helps me get dressed, his hands lingering on my skin like he's memorizing it. I pull on my panties. Ruined, definitely ruined, and my jeans, wincing slightly at the soreness between my legs.
Casey notices immediately. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
"No," I assure him quickly. "Just... sore. In a good way."
He looks uncertain, like he's not sure how there can be a good way to be sore, but he doesn't push it. We finish getting dressed in silence, and with each piece of clothing I put back on, reality settles more heavily around us.
What the fuck did we just do?
No, I know what we did. The question is: what does it mean?
Casey pulls his shirt back on, unfortunately, and runs a hand through his hair. "Morgan, we should probably talk about—"
"What this means," I finish. "Yeah. We should."
He nods and gestures to the chairs we were sitting in earlier, in the break room that feels like it was a lifetime ago instead of an hour.
We sit. The chairs creak. Neither of us speaks.
Finally, I can't take it anymore.
"I don't regret it," I blurt out. "Just so you know. I don't regret any of it."
"Good," Casey says, and he sounds relieved. "Because I don't either. But..."
"But what happens now," I supply.
"Yeah."
I look down at my hands, trying to organize my thoughts into something coherent.
"I like you," I say quietly. "More than I probably should, given that we just met. You're kind and funny and so good with Riley, and the way you look at me makes me feel... seen. Like I matter."
"You do matter," Casey says immediately.
"And I'm terrified," I continue, "because I don't know what to do with that. I'm traveling. I'm supposed to be seeing the country, honoring Annie's memory. But you're here. Riley's here. And I don't know how to make that work."
Casey is quiet for a moment, and when he speaks, his voice is calm.
"I like you too, Morgan. A lot. More than I've liked anyone in.
.. a long time. Maybe ever. But I'm thirty-eight," he continues.
"I have a four-year-old daughter who's my entire world.
I can't just pick up and leave, can't go traveling with you even if I wanted to.
Riley has school and friends and stability.
And after what happened with her mother, I can't…
I won't introduce someone into her life unless I'm sure they're going to stay. "
The words hurt, even though I know they're fair.
"I understand," I say.
"Do you?" He looks at me, and there's pain in his eyes. "Because I'm not trying to pressure you or make you choose. I'm just trying to be honest about what I can and can't do."
"I know." I take a deep breath. "And I need to be honest too. I've wanted to be a mom someday. Have a family, the whole thing. But I never thought it would happen now, like this. I'm twenty-six. I'm grieving. I'm supposed to be figuring myself out, not... not falling for a guy with a kid."
"Is that what's happening?" Casey asks quietly. "You're falling for me?"
I look at him. At the grease still under his fingernails, the worry lines around his eyes, the way he's sitting like he's bracing for me to break his heart.
"Yeah," I admit. "I think I am."
"Fuck," he breathes.
"Yeah."
We sit with that for a moment.
"I don't know how to make this work," I finally say. "My car's going to take a week or two to fix, right? So, I'm here at least that long. But after that..."
"After that, you'll leave," Casey finishes. "You'll get back on the road, keep traveling, and I'll stay here with Riley."
"Unless..." I trail off, an idea forming.
"Unless what?"
"Unless I don't leave right away," I say slowly. "Unless I stay for a while longer. Work at the diner, save up some money, get to know you better. Get to know Riley better."
Casey's eyes widen. "You'd do that?"
"I don't know," I admit. "Maybe? I mean, Annie and I didn't have a timeline for this trip. We just said we'd travel for as long as it felt right. And maybe... maybe stopping here for a bit is part of that. Maybe it's what I need."
"But you'd still leave eventually," Casey points out. "You'd still want to see the rest of the country, finish what you and Annie started."
"Probably," I say. "Unless..."
"Unless?"
I look at him, my heart pounding. "Unless I find something worth staying for."
Casey leans forward, his elbows on his knees. "Morgan, I can't ask you to give up your trip for me. That's not fair."
"You're not asking. I'm offering."
"But what if you stay and then resent me for it? What if you wake up in six months and realize you made a mistake, that you should have kept traveling?"
"What if I leave and spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I'd stayed?" I counter.
He doesn't have an answer for that.
"Look," I say, "I'm not saying I'll stay forever. I don't know what forever looks like right now. But I could stay for a few months. See how it goes. If it doesn't work out, I'll leave and we'll both move on. If it does..."
"If it does?" Casey prompts.
"Then maybe we figure out a compromise. Maybe in the summer, when Riley's out of school, the three of us could take a trip together. See some of the places Annie and I wanted to see. Make new memories."
I can see Casey turning this over in his mind, weighing the risks and benefits.
"What about Riley?" he asks. "She's already attached to you. If you stay and then leave, it's going to hurt her."
"I know," I say quietly. "But if I leave now, it'll hurt her too. She's already decided I should be part of the family, didn’t she?."
Casey groans. "She's relentless."
"She's wonderful," I correct. "And she deserves honesty. If I stay, we'll have to tell her that I might not be here forever. That I'm staying to see if this—" I gesture between us "—could be something real."
"And you're okay with that uncertainty?"
"No," I admit. "I hate uncertainty. I like plans and schedules and knowing what's coming next. But Annie's death taught me that you can't control everything. Sometimes you just have to take a leap and trust that you'll figure it out."
Casey is quiet for a long moment, and I hold my breath.
"Okay," he finally says.
"Okay?"
"Stay," he says, looking at me with those blue eyes that make my knees weak. "Stay for a few months. Work at the diner, help me at the shop when you want to. Get to know Riley, get to know this town. And we'll see what happens."
"You're sure?"
"No," he admits. "I'm terrified. But I'm also... hopeful. And I haven't felt hopeful about anything like this in a long time."
I reach across and take his hand. "I'm terrified too. But I want to try."
"Then we'll try," Casey says. "Together."
"Together," I repeat.
He stands and pulls me up with him, and then he's kissing me again. When we break apart, I'm smiling.
"We should probably get back to work," Casey says reluctantly. "People are going to start wondering where I am."
"Right. Work. That's a thing we're supposed to be doing."
He grins. "Come on. I'll introduce you to Murphy this afternoon, see if he'll give you a job."
"And Riley? Do we tell her the whole truth??"
Casey thinks for a moment. "Yes. That you're staying in Blackwater Falls for a while. That we like each other and we're going to see if we can make this work. She's four, but she's smart. She'll understand."
"Okay," I agree.
We head back out to the main shop, and Casey unlocks the front door. Almost immediately, an elderly woman walks in, keys in hand.
"Casey! I saw your truck out front. Is my car ready?"
"Almost, Mrs. Henderson. Just finishing up the alternator now. Give me twenty minutes?"
"Of course, dear. And who's this lovely young lady?"
Casey glances at me, and I see the exact moment he decides to just go for it.
"This is Morgan," he says. "My girlfriend."
The word sends a thrill through me, even though we literally just decided this five minutes ago.
Mrs. Henderson's face lights up. "Girlfriend! Casey, that's wonderful! It's about time you found someone."
"We're taking it slow," Casey says quickly. "She's new to town."
"Well, welcome to Blackwater Falls, dear," Mrs. Henderson says to me. "It's a good place. Good people. You'll love it here."
"I think I already do," I say, looking at Casey.
He smiles, that devastating smile that makes my heart skip, and I know I've made the right choice.
After Mrs. Henderson leaves, the rest of the afternoon passes in a blur. Casey works on cars while I answer phones and schedule appointments. We don't talk about what happened in the back room, but every time our eyes meet, I feel it: the connection, the promise of something more.
At three-thirty, Casey locks up the shop and we head to pick up Riley from pre-K. She's waiting by the door with Miss Amy, and when she sees us, her face lights up.
"Morgan! You came!"
"Of course I came," I tell her, crouching down to her level. "I wanted to see you."
"Did you have a good day at the shop with my daddy?"
"The best day," I say, and it's not even a lie.
On the drive home, Riley chatters about her day, something about Jacob and the playground and Mr. Shellby eating a whole carrot, and I listen, my heart full.
When we get to the house, Casey decides it’s time for Wednesday pancakes on Tuesday, and the three of us eat together at the kitchen table.
It feels like family.
It feels like home.
After dinner, Riley asks me to read her a bedtime story, and I do, using different voices for each character while Casey watches from the doorway with a smile on his handsome face.
When Riley's asleep, Casey and I sit on the porch swing, the night air cool and comfortable.
"Thank you," Casey says quietly.
"For what?"
"For staying. For giving this a chance."
"Thank you for asking me to," I counter.
He takes my hand, threading our fingers together, and we sit in silence. Above us, the stars are coming out, bright and clear in the country sky. Somewhere out there, I think Annie is smiling.
Because this wasn't the trip we planned. This wasn't the adventure we mapped out together.
But it's mine. My story. My chance at happiness.
And for the first time since she died, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
"Hey, Morgan?" Casey says.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad your car broke down."
I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder. "Me too."
We sit on that porch swing until the stars fill the sky, talking about everything and nothing, making plans for tomorrow and next week and maybe even next year.
It's not forever. Not yet.
But it's a start.
And right now, that's more than enough.
*Annie's journal, entry from Morgan's first week in Blackwater Falls:*
Dear Annie,
I found him. I found the person who makes me feel seen, who makes me laugh, who makes me want to stay.
His name is Casey, and he has a daughter named Riley who thinks I'm a princess. They've given me a place to stay, a job, a reason to stop running.
I know you'd love them. I know you'd tell me to go for it, to take the risk, to say yes to the adventure even when it's scary.
So that's what I'm doing.
I'm saying yes.
I'm staying.
And I'm going to see where this goes.
I love you. I miss you. And I think you'd be proud of me.
Love,
Morgan
P.S. - He's really, really hot. Like, unfairly hot. You would definitely approve.