Chapter 3 Jamaica #2
“You don’t have to keep running from me.” The timbre of his deep voice coursed through me.
“I wasn’t running. I’m the organizer, trying to make sure everything is in order. It might have helped if you had warned me you would be here tonight, then I could’ve prepared accordingly.” My eyes remained closed as I pondered if I should turn around or let him circle me.
“Warn? Didn’t realize I was a threat to you after all this time?” He chuckled, and the sound tickled my soul. Oh, I used to love me some him. “Relax, Jamaica. Just wanted to speak to the first girl who ever loved me for me. I mean no harm.”
“This is about as relaxed as you’re going to get.” I tried to joke, to ease the tension between us. Why did he have to announce the elephant in the room?
“Then you were running from me.”
“I wasn’t.” I resisted stomping my foot like a child who wanted to be believed.
“Prove it by turning around and facing me.”
I folded my arms. “I don’t have to prove anything, and soon everyone is going to be out here with us. I’m good, and you’re more than good. Please. Go back inside.”
A warm, strong hand gently picked up my hand and spun me into his arms. His hat rested on my back. Stunned, I opened my eyes into his arresting dark brown eyes. His jaw tightened as his gaze swept my face, lingering a second longer on my lips. “More beautiful than I ever imagined you would be.”
His soft-spoken compliment sent warmth to my heart. Thirteen years of commitment and eight years of marriage stopped me from melting into his strong embrace. I barely allowed him to touch me before I pressed against his chest to stop him from pulling me closer and tighter into him. “I can’t.”
Freedom frowned. “A hug? Can’t because of him or can’t because of you?”
“Oh, then you know I’m married?”
Freedom’s jaw tightened. “Besides the ring on your finger, I made it a point to know your status and to who, before I came here tonight.”
“Whom,” I corrected instinctively.
He relaxed into a smile. “You could never resist teaching me something. It’s what made me notice you in the first place.”
Tapping his chest firmly, I added, “And let me teach you something else. I’m not that love-struck girl, and I don’t care about you anymore. I can’t be phony and pretend that we’re these long-lost loves when you broke my heart.”
“Oh, you still care, or you wouldn’t be running from me,” Freedom replied without addressing that we didn’t drift apart like some high school relationships. We went from inseparable, can’t live without you, to nothing.
I tilted my head to look up at his handsome face.
“Or maybe I was trying to save you the embarrassment of pushing up on me. I remember you hated rejection.” Freedom flinched, and I pushed down the guilt of using what I knew of him to hurt him.
“Listen, your fans will find you soon. We spoke, we hugged, and I hope you continue to have a nice life. No hard feelings. Go on back and party, and I’ll keep my distance. ”
Freedom looked past my shoulders and then hurriedly said, “I waited fifteen years to see you again. I only came here tonight to get your attention. I want to see you.”
His admission took some of the anger out of me, and I implored, “You see me, okay? We said what needed to be said years ago.”
Freedom’s bedroom eyes locked with mine. “Disagree. We have much more to say to each other.”
“This says otherwise.” Haughtily, I held up my ring finger with the sparkling ring.
He scoffed. “He can’t make you happy like I can. He never could.”
“Are you crazy?” I asked incredulously. Torn between asking why he seemed so certain he could make me happy and knocking his obviously oversized ego back down.
“I can be a little unhinged at times, especially when I want something.” He gave me a crooked smile, and I averted my gaze to his chest to avoid kissing the hell out of him. “And we need to talk.”
“Talk after all this time? You are certifiable. My husband and most of those people in there have been there for me for the last fifteen years. Where were you? Huh?” I pushed past him, and he grabbed my arm, which I shook off more from the electric feel of his touch.
This man can’t make me feel like this after all this time.
I will never let him in again.
He held his hands up and spoke fast, “I walked away from you because I didn’t think I deserved you. I needed to prove to myself and to your father that I could be something. Now, I’m back to claim what’s mine.”
I slammed my hands on my hips at his audacity.
“Well, you definitely haven’t changed. I’m supposed to blow up my world because you want to be in mine?
” I jabbed his chest. “You stood me up for the Prom because breaking into houses was more important, and even after I forgave you, you disappeared out of my life like I didn’t matter. ”
He glanced around the small, empty area before his gaze narrowed. “You also told me you couldn’t be with a man who only knew the streets to survive when you knew I didn’t have a choice back then. You remember that?”
“I was justifiably angry. One bad argument and we’re through?
You knew you had me hooked, and you let me go without fighting for me when you promised you always would.
Then, years later, I see you everywhere, with all this money and fame, glamorous women on your arm on the red carpet.
Never a phone call or a text. You swore you loved me, and I gave you the one thing I only planned to give my future husband because I believed you.
I didn’t care that you were trouble or that my father disapproved, you were my Freedom.
” I huffed. “Now, you waltz in here like you have the right, as if I were a single woman instead of a married one with two children. Get the hell on, Freedom Cade.”
“You still love me?” he asked, simply cutting through my ranting. “You said you would always love me even if we didn’t end up together.”
“What?” I sputtered.
He grinned. “That’s all I needed to know.” He kissed my neck slowly and then said, “You’re the first to know that after my tour, I’m moving back home. I’ll be in touch, Jamaica.”
Freedom strode back into the party, and I slumped against the wall, my trembling legs unable to hold me up.
Through the slowly closing door, Lori eased past the growing crowd that swarmed Freedom and hurried to me. “Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?” She glanced toward Freedom and tried to hold back a smile. “What did he do? Kiss you or feel you up? Either one works for me.”
I groaned, “Worse.”
“Worse?” She perused my body quickly. “Naw, you didn’t have sex out here. That’s my thing…not yours.”
I glared at her. “Will you stop acting like I don’t have a husband?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Whenever your husband remembers he has a wife. It’s your night, and he’s not here.”
“Remind me not to tell you about my marriage…” The heat of Freedom’s gaze through the opening door stopped my flow.
We’d always been aware of each other if we were in proximity to each other.
I dared to glance in his direction, capturing his dark eyes one more time before he donned his shades and moved deeper into the ballroom.
The delicious chills that traveled through me were reminiscent of how I used to feel when I would pass him in the halls before I knew he felt the same about me.
“Ooh…that look.” Lori glanced between Freedom and me and shook her head slowly. “What are you going to do?”
“I know.” I pulled her into the nearby restroom and checked all the stalls before I admitted, “He said he wanted to see me again, that Kody can’t make me happy like he can, and that he was moving back home.”
She whistled softly. “Wow. After all the fame and the years, that’s what he says to you?”
“I told him he was crazy.” I blinked back tears as the swell of emotion threatened to overwhelm me. He had been my first love, whom I used to think would be my forever love.
“Are you planning to see him again?”
“If I see him, I'm one step closer to the devil.” I rested my back against the sink. “I know Kody messed up…” My words trailed off. I sounded weak to myself because I wasn’t sure my husband was capable of being the man I needed him to be.
Lori raised a brow. “Still messing up. Come on, Jamaica. KJ almost failed second grade because Kody was too caught up in himself and whatever woman he was messing with. And where is he right now?”
“It was partially my fault for not checking in on KJ, too. I know how my son can be when it comes to school. And Kody has been working with him, and his grades have already improved.” I took another drawn-out breath.
“He told me he wasn’t cheating anymore and doesn’t want to lose me.
I choose to believe him. Besides, our lives are so entwined with our sons and the business.
Divorce would be too complicated, and I don’t even want one.
We got together so young.” I laughed sadly, “Who does that anymore? I feel like I can give him a pass for cheating this time. Kody has his faults, but he’s been there with me.
Not Freedom. I can’t ignore that because my ex strolls back into my life. ”
Lori opened her mouth and then snapped it shut.
“Who am I to judge? I’ve never been married, and I haven’t been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year.
He was there with you when a lot of brothers would’ve run from responsibility in a heartbeat.
” She joined me against the sink. “Remind me to bite my tongue the next time I try to insult Kody.”
“Umm…you must not plan to have a tongue.” I nudged her shoulder. “It’s all good, sister from another mother. I know you only want what’s best for me, whether it’s Kody or another man. Like I want for you.”
She tilted slightly to face me. “But you can’t tell me you’re not tempted to see Freedom again? You were so crazy about him. Hell, we were all jealous that he only had eyes for you, too.”