Chapter 5 Monroe
MONROE
As I cleaned up my desk, I couldn’t get Jace out of my mind.
I’d been operating like a zombie for the last two hours, going through the motions without really being present.
One of my Algebra II students had even called me out when I’d worked through a problem on the board and missed a step.
Me. A math teacher miscalculating basic algebra.
I scolded myself for allowing a man to occupy my mind. Then again, Ryan had screwed me so much through our divorce that I’d had to take days off from school. But Jace wasn’t messing with my psyche in a bad way.
The conversation we’d had at his table had been kind of fun but also eye-opening.
Beneath his bravado was something emotionally deeper that I couldn’t put my finger on.
When I’d asked why he wanted to fly jets, the color had drained from his face.
Then his interest in volunteering had me scratching my head.
He didn’t strike me as the type to give his time freely.
Although I needed to stop judging people because they wore a military uniform or had a death wish.
As a former military wife, I knew better. I also knew Lila was right. Not all men in uniform were like Ryan. I’d seen many of my military wife friends who had great marriages. Yet my trust factor was severely broken, and I wasn’t sure how I could completely trust another partner.
I packed up two folders of tests to grade as heels clicked along the floor outside my room.
“Monroe,” Lila said, as she waltzed in, “thank you for helping out with Career Day.”
Following behind her was none other than Jace.
He swaggered in, flight suit unzipped halfway, revealing a dark T-shirt, sleeves rolled up just enough to tease an intricate tattoo of flowers woven around an eagle on his left forearm, which I had noticed at Devil’s Hollow but hadn’t really paid much attention to.
That cocky grin, the one branded in my brain all afternoon, slid easily into place. “This is where the magic happens.”
Lila snorted. “I could think of other places where magic happens.”
My eyes bugged out at her as I mouthed, “Hush.”
“Jace tells me you’re going to introduce him to Coach Perry.” Lila stood by the door, ready to make a quick escape or maybe lock us in, if I knew what was going through her head.
Jace studied the posters hanging on my walls and bulletin board in the back of the room as if he were admiring an artist’s work at a gallery.
The man stirred something in me I hadn’t felt in years. Whereas Ryan needed to be seen in a crowd, Jace didn’t. He carried himself in a way that didn’t demand the spotlight but somehow drew it anyway.
I hated that my pulse was reacting to this man so quickly and that it hadn’t learned a thing from the wreckage Ryan had left behind.
And I hated that I felt a pull toward Jace like two magnetic poles coming together when I’d promised myself I would never fall for another man in uniform.
But damn. The way Jace looked at me as if he saw me—not the teacher, not the ex-wife, not the woman rebuilding her life. The handsome fighter pilot saw me.
“Hey, Jace, I’ll be right back,” I said as he continued to take in my classroom as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Take your time,” he said.
I silently urged Lila into the hallway. “You didn’t need to bring him here.”
“We closed up early, and he asked to see you,” she said, all wide-eyed and innocent, which I wasn’t buying. “What’s wrong?”
“My life,” I whispered. “Ryan is coming home, and Jace is suddenly everywhere.”
She put her hands together in prayer and pressed them to her mouth.
“You like Jace.” It wasn’t a question but a statement that rocked me to my core.
“Dax told me Jace is into you. It’s not hard for anyone to see that you two are fire.
And fuck Ryan. He’s always going to be part of your life because of Ethan. You know this.”
Argh! Fire? More like an inferno. And she was right about Ryan.
I sagged my shoulders. “I’m scared. Is that crazy?”
“Scared about?”
I tipped my head at the classroom door. “Him.”
She lit up like airport runway lights in the dark of night. “It’s normal to feel like that. The only guy you’ve ever been with was Ryan.” She kept her voice low.
Jace poked his head out. “Is everything okay?”
“I need to run and finish up some paperwork before I leave today,” Lila said then squeezed my hand. “We’ll talk tonight.”
Once I returned to my classroom, albeit on shaky legs, I stuffed my bag in my desk drawer and locked it.
He twirled a finger around the room. “I like the setup. The pi border is cool.”
The continuous number banner bordered two of the four walls. “I use it as a discussion topic sometimes to remind students there are some things in life that are never-ending, just like in math.”
“How so?” A crease dented the space between his eyebrows.
“You can calculate pi to a million decimal places, but you’ll never reach the end. There’s no neat answer, solution.” I glanced at the banner, my voice quieter. “Sometimes, you have to accept that not everything gets solved or wrapped up in a bow. You just… keep going.”
“That sounds personal.” Jace’s voice was softer than before.
“Divorce will do that to you.”
He went quiet for a moment, and something in his eyes told me he understood loss, too, even if it had nothing to do with a divorce.
“I’m sorry,” he said with genuine concern. Then he gave me a hint of a smile. “For what it’s worth, you seem like you’re doing a damn good job of keeping going.”
I blushed, needing to pivot to another topic, or I just might throw myself at him. “Thank you. Should we go see Coach Perry now?”
He waved a hand at the door. “After you, my lady.”
I angled my head. “Do you like coming up with pet names?”
“Maybe. But you seem to bring out a side of me that, frankly, is new.”
I liked that he was honest, genuine, and made me comfortable but nervous as well. I could see myself with him, and that frightened the hell out of me.
I swallowed thickly as we wound our way through the school halls. “Coach is probably on the football field by now. So we’ll head out there.”
As we passed the display case, Jace backtracked.
“Do you see someone you know?” I searched the collection of framed photos, trophies, and two flags honoring former Pine Valley students who’d gone into service.
“Kandahar,” he whispered, the color draining from his face.
One of the folded American flags sat in a shadow box, and next to it was a small brass plate that read Sergeant Chris Parker. Killed in Action, Kandahar Province.
“Did you know Sergeant Parker?” I asked.
“No.” His Adam’s apple bobbed, his jaw tight.
Suddenly, the air between us was less charged, more fragile. That steel exterior he had vanished. In its place, I saw a man who carried ghosts behind his easy grin.
He blinked, as if he’d reconciled his demons, that mask of confidence back into place. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down. My older brother died in a combat mission in Kandahar when I was in high school.”
Before I could think, my hand was in his, squeezing as I tried to hold back tears. Trying to keep my heart from breaking for him, for who he’d lost.
“My sincere condolences for your loss.” Tears welled up in my eyes, and before I could stop them, they were sliding down my cheeks.
He gave me a weak grin. “Caleb was a fighter pilot,” he started, choking up. “Only two years into getting his wings before a mission gone wrong took his life.”
I raised up on my toes and hugged him. He held me tightly as if he needed me more than the air he was breathing. I got the feeling he hadn’t dealt with the loss or had anyone to shoulder his pain with him, and that broke my heart.
Still, in that moment, in his arms, feeling him against me, I felt protected, loved, and like I’d known him all my life. How could I feel this sense of peace with him? Like he and I belonged together. We’d just met.
Sighing, he released me then brushed his fingers along my cheek. “Thank you for that.” Before I could respond, his thumb was touching my busted lip. “I hate that you got hurt.” His blue eyes were filled with too many emotions I didn’t care to unpack.
I shuddered, tingles and goose bumps blanketing my body like a live wire of electricity. “Battle scars. Part of the job.”
He studied my mouth as though he was about to kiss me. I would melt into a puddle of water if he did.
He tucked hair behind my ear. “I would fight to the death for a girl I liked, especially if it were you.”
This man was making me believe I could love again.
My chest rose and fell as I craned my neck upward. “Did you when you were in high school?”
“No. None were as beautiful as you, Monroe.”
My stomach was doing somersaults, and the longer we stood here, the more likely it was that I would be brave enough to pull him into a janitor’s closet.
“We should go.” I willed my legs to move but was failing miserably. All I wanted was to stay in this moment and listen to Jace tell me over and over again how beautiful I was.
He pressed his forehead to mine. “Tell me you feel the same thing I’m feeling.”
“I’m—”
A door slammed somewhere behind me, and both of us jumped.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw a student walking down the hall away from us. I felt like I’d been caught kissing a boy, and that thought made me giggle.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I feel like we’re in high school again.”
He smirked. “We are.”
I playfully swatted at him. “You know what I mean.”
“Want to stop in the janitor’s closet?” he asked with a boyish grin.
Yes, please. “We should get out of here.”
Despite my words, shock coursed through me that I had been thinking that very thing about the janitor’s closet.
I’d caught a few students sucking face there.
Ryan and I had even hidden in one back in high school for an entire period.
Nevertheless, a warm and giddy feeling replaced my shock at the thought of Jace and me making out in a supply closet.
He feigned a pout. “I guess so.”
Maybe I was ready to put myself out there. Maybe I was ready to go where my heart took me, which was leading straight to Captain Jace Callahan.