Chapter 4 – Andie
ANDIE
I called goodbye to Kate and Nolan and jogged up the steps away from the house, desperate to get in the car and away from Morgan. I quickly closed the car door and checked the mirrors, glad to see he wasn’t following me. I relaxed a little and sat there thinking.
What the hell had just happened? He was tall, dark, and handsome, with piercing blue eyes and arms a Greek god would be jealous of. Sure, we got on well; he was kind, considerate, smart, and funny. But he was still Kate’s son, and that could be complicated.
I wasn’t looking for complicated. In fact, I wasn’t looking for anything.
I’d sworn off men for life. I shouldn’t have kissed Morgan.
I had started all of this by being honest. Maybe honesty wasn’t always the best policy.
I needed to keep my hands and lips to myself.
I didn’t want to lose him because I couldn’t control my hormones.
I started the engine and was about to pull away when I saw the plans for the library I was supposed to give to Morgan. I thought about driving home anyway, but that would cause delays in the work and that wasn’t fair to Kate and Nolan.
Grabbing the plans, I got out of the car. Taking a deep breath, I started walking back towards the house. Maybe I could leave them with Kate, say I was in a rush to get to work and could she pass them onto Morgan for me.
I knocked on the door with my heart thundering in my chest. What if he had already told them what had happened? Embarrassment coursed through me but was quickly forgotten when Nolan opened the door full of smiles.
“Are those the plans for Morgan?” Nolan reached out to take them from me.
“Yeah, I nearly drove off, but luckily, I saw them on the seat before I did. Could you give them to him?”
“Uh, would you mind taking them up to him in his room? Kate has just gone up to run her bath and the footie is nearly over.” Nolan looked longingly back to the living room before returning his gaze to me.
“Of course, as long as you don’t mind?” The last place I wanted to be now was in Morgan’s bedroom alone with him, but I knew how hard Nolan worked and this was his few hours off.
“Brilliant, thank you. Up the stairs, first door on the right.” Nolan flashed me a grateful smile and disappeared back into the living room.
I took another deep breath, and I began walking up the stairs. Just knock the door, give him the plans, and leave, I told myself. I walked as slowly as I possibly could, my thoughts wandering to the last few months of late nights and takeaways as we worked on the project.
Morgan had been so sweet and kind to me, walking me home when I had too much to drink, always topping up my drinks and checking on me. Come to think of it, I had felt something when our hands or legs had brushed against each other’s, but I had never delved into the feelings because of who he was.
On the landing, Kate was walking out of her room. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just forgot the plans for Morgan.” I held them up and forced a smile.
“Ah, he’s in there.” She pointed to the door immediately to my right. I nodded, but when I didn’t move, she asked me again. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Her eyes searched my face.
“Uh, this is a little awkward…” I looked everywhere but at her.
“Follow me,” she said, leading me back the way she had just come.
We entered her bedroom, and I looked around. Everything was built in, the wardrobes were fitted over the bed, and a full entertainment unit was nestled in the opposite wall. The whole bedroom was white, gold, and magnificent.
“Wow, this is beautiful. Remind me after our current project is done for you to have a look at my bedroom.” I turned in a circle taking it all in.
“Thank you. I like it, but Nolan isn’t keen on all the white and gold. He says it makes him feel like he’s gone to heaven.” She laughed. “Now, what’s wrong? I can see something’s eating at you?”
She smiled warmly, sat on the bed, and pointed to the chair opposite for me to sit in. I obliged, taking my time to get there whilst trying to figure out what to say.
“Well, this is awkward, but Morgan just…” I paused. `could the world implode now, please? A hole to open and swallow me whole? Was that too much to ask?
“He’s finally asked you out, then?” She grinned at me.
“So, you do know about it?” I felt the blush creeping up my neck and burning my cheeks.
“Yeah, he told me a few weeks back that he wanted to ask you. I actually think you two would be good for each other. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think Nolan and I knew how he felt about you before he did. We used to laugh that neither of you could see it.” She chuckled.
“Oh.” I took a moment to process what she’d said. “What about the age difference? Doesn’t it bother you, your son dating an older woman?”
Kate laughed again. “It’s five years—that’s nothing. You’re talking like you’re a cougar! You’re only thirty; he’s an adult with a child of his own.”
“Okay, well, won’t it be weird?” I wanted this conversation to be over, but my mouth would not quit. I fidgeted on the chair, unable to stay still.
“Maybe it will be for a bit, but I can’t think of a better person for him. You may not be able to see it, but you two are perfect for each other. Now, I’m going to have a bath, you go see him.” Kate got up, leaving no more room for conversation.
“Why the fuck am I nervous?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek.
Kate belly laughed at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous. Go!” She scooted me towards the door.
“That’s because not many things unnerve me.” I took another long breath.
“Fuck me, it’s only Morgan. He’s the same guy he was an hour ago. Don’t be a wuss.” She pushed me right up to the door, then knocked before running into the bathroom. I heard her laughing from behind the bathroom door.
“Come in.” Morgan’s deep tones travelled through his door.
Slowly, I entered to see he was sat in front of a workbench looking at paperwork. Multiple tools lined the wall above the desk and the wall to the side.
“Hey, only me. I forgot to give you the library plans,” I said quickly.
“Oh hey, come in.” He stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at the floor.
The room smelled of wood and varnish, with just a hint of Morgan’s aftershave underneath.
Being alone in the room with him was awkward and my heart rate had rocketed.
I walked over to him and placed the plans down before looking around.
The room was clean and tidy, everything in its place.
A table sat in the middle of the room holding a small wooden carpark.
“Wow, did you make this?” I circled the table, taking in all the tiny details. The carpark had ramps, petrol pumps and barriers.
“Yeah, just something I’m building for Charlie.”
“It’s incredible.” I reached out and pressed the edge of the barrier. To my delight, it rose and lowered again when I took my finger off it.
“Thank you. Working with my hands relaxes me.” He stepped closer, his gaze wandering over the carpark.
“I love handmade things. I love those boxes, you know? Like puzzle boxes?”
“Yeah, I know the ones. They are beautiful pieces of work.” We stood together awkwardly for a moment.
“Shall we look at these plans then? Take a seat.” He gestured to the stool in front of his workbench, which I took as he stood over me and rolled out the plans. “These look good. So, the fireplace is going on this wall?”
As he pointed at the plans, his forearm brushed against my arm. Electricity shot through me, my breath caught, and I jumped to my feet. Our eyes met.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that?” He took a step towards me.
I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I felt it, it was like an electric shock between my legs, but I couldn’t tell him that.
When I didn’t answer he went on, “Please, just one chance, give it a try.” He placed his hands on the outside of my arms which were crossed against my chest in an effort to get some distance from him.
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head and moved backwards a few steps. “We have nothing in common. I’m older than you…”
“Pfft, by five years. That’s nothing.” He shrugged, not deterred.
“I’m getting divorced.”
“I’ve gotten out of a serious relationship,” he countered.
“Even more of a reason not to dive into anything.”
“It’s not diving. Brooke and I parted ten months ago.
We’ve”—he gestured between us—“been spending so much time together on this project. From week two, I knew how much I liked you. That kiss we shared on the sofa? Wow, I’ve not felt like that before.
” He ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it up; it looked good messy.
“I waited this long because I knew you needed time, but I like you so much.” He took a step towards me.
He was so close I could almost feel his lips on mine, and I found I wanted to kiss him, to feel his soft lips on mine again, his arms wrapped tightly around me.
I’d left my husband eighteen months ago and moved back home.
Since then, I had not looked at another man until that first kiss with Morgan.
I had a high sex drive and being abstinent from sex for that long was driving me crazy.
But was I crazy enough to sleep with my friend’s son?
“Maybe we should get to know each other a bit first?” I took a step back. I was desperate to get out of the conversation, the situation and was grasping for things to say that wouldn’t lead to me falling into his bed.
“Okay, what do you want to know?” Morgan leant against the table in the centre of the room and indicated I should sit back on the stool.
I sat, grateful as I wasn’t sure how much longer my wobbly legs would hold me up. “Well, I know where you live and what your job is, so the baby, he’s two now right?”
“Yeah, Charlie, he’s two. I get him every other night. I live at home so I can save for a house of my own whilst also supporting Brooke and Charlie.”
My heart grew, checklist for good men; kind, check. Considerate, check. Respectful, check. Good father, check. Responsible, check. Good in bed? Unknown. I wanted to ask more but could hear Nolan shouting to everyone for movie night.
“Shall we go for coffee tomorrow?” I thought coffee was a good idea, we could talk about the new book he was reading and there was little chance of my thoughts going south whilst out for coffee.
“I can’t, I have Charlie. He always comes first.” He looked disappointed.
“Yeah, I get that. Rain check?” I stood up, relieved he had said no, and I couldn’t wait to get out of the room.
“Why do I feel that you’re going to change your mind? I’m sorry I can’t do tomorrow, but I do want to take you out.” He walked towards me.
“I understand, honestly.” I backed my way towards the door.
He stopped moving; his shoulders dropped, and his hands lay loosely at his side.
“Couple more questions?”
I wanted to put him off me, so I thought I’d ask about the one thing some men hate. Maybe he would hate it too and then would change his mind about wanting to date me and we could get back to being friends.
“Sure.” He smiled.
He had a great smile, his blue eyes sparkled when he smiled and looked brighter against his jet-black hair.
“What are your plans for the future? More kids? Marriage?”
“I’d love more kids. I want a big family, nice house, and yes, I would like to get married. I want it all. All the good things in life.” He lit up when he was talking about the future.
So, that didn’t put him off, then. He wanted it all, and more.
He thought I was a possible path for his happy future, but I wasn’t.
I was surer of that than before. It was then I saw more reasons not to start anything with him.
He was such an incredible man, and I could see myself falling for him, I already cared about him.
But I couldn’t have children, I was able to get pregnant, but my body couldn’t carry them, and it always ended up in heart-breaking miscarriages, so I had given up trying.
I had been married before, twice, and was not looking to repeat that mistake.
“I would love that for you, but it’s not for me. I’m sorry. I’d better get going.”
I turned quickly, moving into the passage, and went to close the door when he called out, “So, that’s a no then?”
I ducked my head back into his room inhaling his scent, it was so intoxicating, something woody with citrus notes in it. “I’m sorry, I just don’t think it would work out.” Then, I ran down the stairs as fast as I my legs would go and left without saying goodbye to anyone.