Chapter 19 – Andie
ANDIE
The following day, I’d been at Kate’s going over the bedroom makeover ideas when Morgan and Nolan had come in from work.
“Hey, you two,” she called out to them. “I’ll just go and dish up food for them. Do you want some?” she asked me.
“No, I’m good, but thank you.”
She nodded and disappeared out into the hallway. I watched as Morgan toed off his work trainers and pulled off his hoodie, showing just a little of that washboard stomach.
“Hey you,” I called softly. I didn’t know if he would be happy or angry to see me.
“Hey, it’s good to see you. Didn’t know you were here today.” he said closing the door to the living room He moved to sit next to me and rested his hand on my thigh.
“Just going over new bedroom ideas.” I nodded to the mood board on the table.
“Looks nice. What’s that spot for?” He pointed to a blank space on the wall to the side of my bed.
“That is where I’m going to put that picture of us. Remember I said about blowing it up?” He nodded. “Well, I did, and I am adding it to the wall, but I couldn’t exactly show your mother, could I?”
“No, definitely not,” he agreed and turned fully to me, though couldn’t hold my gaze for more than a few moments at a time. He placed his hand on his neck and rubbed it. “Can we talk? About yesterday?” His voice was low.
“I think we should.” I placed my hand on his, resting on his thigh. “Why don’t you come down with me now? You don’t have Charlie, and I don’t have work. We could talk properly?” I asked, giving his hand a squeeze.
“I can’t I’m going out with the boys. Come upstairs with me now, we could make it up another way?”
His hand had slipped between my legs and he was rubbing furiously. My pussy was pulsing, and it was hard to take a breath.
“You’re going out with the boys?” I asked moving back.
“Yeah. They’re picking me up at seven.”
I let out a huge sigh.
“Okay, here we go.” He slumped back on the sofa, his hands resting in his lap and sighed.
“No, not here we go again. I think we need to talk properly about what happened yesterday.” I huffed, standing up.
“Look, I work hard throughout the week, I have my son every other night. I need some me time with the boys, okay. It’s not all about you.” He shook his head and looked away from me.
“I know that. I just thought maybe we could spend a little time together, talk things out. Doesn’t matter.” I was getting choked up but didn’t know why.
I swallowed hard and blinked back tears. His phone kept beeping with incoming messages and just added to my frustration.
“This is what you wanted though, right? Friends with benefits. Just fuck when we have time, no relationship stuff like meals and days out? Well, I have time now to fuck but not for anything else cause I’m going out with the boys.
So, are you coming upstairs for a fuck or are you going home? ” He glared at me.
The pain and anger bubbling inside me was making it hard to breathe. “You fucking arsehole. I think I’ll just go home,” I spat. I swiped the plans off the table, stepped over his feet, and stormed out of the door.
Morgan had never spoken to me like that before.
I kept going over and over what he had said.
It was obvious that it wasn’t working for him anymore.
He was frustrated, hurt, and lashing out.
I needed to end things but couldn’t bring myself to think about not being with him.
The day before, when he had told me he loved me, I nearly told him that I loved him too, but my mouth wouldn’t form the words.
I went straight to bed when I got in, not bothering to undress.
I woke with a stomach bug. I was vomiting and extremely tired. Jonathan set me up in bed with water and my phone by my bedside. Morgan called, and I heard loud music and people in the background.
“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry. I do want to talk about things. I need some time with the boys, and it is you who wanted the friends with benefits only, right?”
“I can’t do this right now Morgan, I’m not well.” I hung up.
He called again, but I just let it ring. Texts upon texts pinged through, keeping me from some much-needed sleep.
When he had called for the fifth time I picked up. “I just want to talk,” he slurred down the line.
“For fuck’s sake, I’m not well and I’m trying to sleep. Can we talk about this tomorrow? All these calls and texts are keeping me awake,” I spat impatiently into the phone.
“Well, why don’t you put it on silent?” he fumed as if it was my fault he kept calling.
“It is on silent. You’re on override and I haven’t the energy to take it off. Just please leave me alone.” I hung up but it kept ringing, as soon as it would ring off it would start again.
Jonathan came in to check on me. “You okay? Someone really wants to get hold of you, huh?” He nodded to the non-stop ringing phone.
“Yeah, can you open the door to the pool please?”
My bedroom had sliding doors which led to the pool area. He did as I asked, sliding the door fully open. The smell of the chlorine nearly made me vomit again. I picked up my phone and threw it as hard as I could, using all the energy I had.
“What the fuck?” He looked at me open mouthed.
“I just needed it to stop,” I replied, falling back to the pillow.
“So, you couldn’t knock it off? You threw it in the pool?” he asked incredulously.
“Yep, it worked, didn’t it?”
“It sure did,” he replied closing the door again. “Do you need anything?”
“No, just sleep please. Can you text Lauren to say my phone isn’t working and can she call you if she needs me?”
“Can do. Get some rest,” he said quietly before leaving.
I did, thankfully, manage to get a little sleep before I was once again disturbed by
Jonathan knocking on the door. “It’s just Lauren checking in,” he said, handing me his phone. “I’ll go get you something to eat and fresh water. Please don’t throw that one in the pool.” He pointed to his phone, chuckled, and left my room.
“Hey, sweetie. Jon said you’re not well. How are you feeling?” The sound of the club’s music was muffled so I assumed she was in her office.
“I feel a little better, just drained. Everything okay in the club?” I answered weakly. I didn’t feel like I had the energy to lift my head off the pillow.
“Yeah, fine, don’t you worry about that. Just rest up. One other thing… Morgan is here, he said he’s been trying to call you but can’t get an answer.”
“Yeah, about that, you’ll have to call Jonathan’s phone for the next few days. My phone is in the pool. I’ll explain later. Come back to mine after work?”
“See you later.”
Since I was now wide awake, I dragged myself out of bed to have a shower. The hot water eased my aching body. I got out, put on clean pyjamas, and threw my hair up into a ponytail. I was snuggled up in bed with the TV on but not paying attention to it when I heard Lauren and Betty come in.
Lauren knocked at the door and poked her head in. “Hey, how you feeling now?”
“Still not great, but better than I was.” I forced a smile. My eyes felt heavy, and I was ready to go back to sleep.
Morgan pushed his way past her, and she disappeared from the doorway.
“Why haven’t you answered my calls?” he demanded swaying from side to side.
“I told you, I’m not well. I want to rest and not argue.” I huffed, pulling the blankets up closer to my chin.
“But you spoke to Lauren, so you’re just ignoring me then?” He was drunk and I was losing my patience.
“No, she called Jonathan’s phone. My phone is in the pool.” I pointed through the siding doors.
“Yeah, right.” He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest as he swayed from side to side.
“Follow me.” I stumbled out of bed and opened the sliding doors. Lauren, Betty, and Baz were sat further up, poolside just by the doors to the living area. “Look, just look. My fucking phone is. In. The. Pool!” I ground out through my teeth.
“Why?” Morgan looked confused.
“Because I’m sick and you wouldn’t fucking leave me alone! Listen, I can’t do this tonight.
Ladies, you can stay if you want, you know where the spare rooms are, you two”—I pointed to Morgan and Baz—“need to leave. Sorry, Baz.” I spun, nearly losing my balance from dizziness went back into my room and closed the door, locking it behind me.
I got up in the morning feeling much better.
The girls had made me breakfast and had left to go back to their own homes.
Jonathan had been out and got me a new phone, one where I was able to keep my number.
I heard a truck pulling up out back and the front door opening, Jonathan’s voice talking to one very familiar voice.
Morgan. He walked into the living area alone and seemed shocked to see me sitting there.
“Hey, Morg. I’m sorry for yesterday and… well, everything.” I patted the side of the sofa and put my new phone onto the coffee table.
“I can’t talk now, gotta work.” He pointed out back. His eyes had dark circles underneath them and he looked pale.
“That’s just it, though, we never get a chance to talk.”
“No, we don’t. Every time I try to talk to you, you’re working or tired or just want to fuck.”
He was angry and I couldn’t deny that the fury in him was turning me on.
His blue eyes blazed in anger and when he folded his arms over his chest, the muscles bulged in them.
Normal sex with Morgan was amazing, I’d bet angry sex would be even better.
I wondered if he had a spare thirty minutes? No, focus.
“You knew the hours I worked when we got together.”
There was a beeping of a horn. “Just a minute.” Morgan held up a finger and went out to the back. Within a few minutes he was back. “Yeah, I did, but we’re not together, are we? You don’t want that; you just want to use me,” he yelled.
“Then why are all your things around my house? Everywhere I go, there’s something of yours, and you don’t even stay here that often.” It was starting to feel like a relationship which was terrifying me, and I had to put a stop to it, well to slow things down anyway.
“Because you keep such stupid hours, I’ve left clothes and a toothbrush here, maybe some deodorant so I can shower and get dressed to go straight to work having been up with you all night.
You know what? You’re right. I’ll go get my things.
Sorry to have inconvenienced you.” He stormed from room to room grabbing his things.
I let him go, trying to talk when one is so angry would not be productive.
“Right, I think I’ve got it all, I’ve thrown it in the van. Are you happy now?”
“No.” My shoulders dropped, and I looked to the floor, not able to look at him any longer. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “No, I’m not happy, Morgan, and neither are you. This is getting too hard, too complicated. I don’t want complicated.” This time I forced myself to look up at him.
“What are you saying, Andie?” His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper. “Are we over?”
“No, not over. Unless that’s what you want?”
A sharp pain hit me straight through the heart and I swallowed hard. I was selfish, I knew it, I didn’t want him fully but couldn’t let him go to find someone who would give him everything he wanted.
“No, I don’t want to end things. If anything, you know I want more. I want all of you.” He got on his knees in front of me and held my hands.
“I can’t, Morg, I’m sorry. Maybe we should just slow things down, take a week off.”
“You were the one last night who wanted my time. Slow things down? We can’t get any fucking slower than we are now!
Fuck, I told you I was in love with you, and you walked away.
That fucking broke me.” His voice cracked and he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes.
“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s over,” he yelled, pushing away from me and standing up.
His eyes bulged, his chest heaved, and his mouth opened and closed, as if there was more he wanted to say. He jumped up and stormed out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.
I waited a few minutes, my hand still covering my mouth, tears pricked at my eyes and my nose burned, to see if he would return but he didn’t.
“Nolan? Morgan had to leave and I’m going to bed before work,” I called out the back.
“Yeah, I heard. You two will sort it out,” he replied softly and went back to work.
“Maybe,” I whispered to myself.
My feet dragged as I moved into my room and locked the door behind me. My chest felt tight, and my body felt too heavy. I climbed onto the bed under the covers, curling up into a ball and cried myself asleep.