Chapter 34
Jack clamped his lips together. Andrea had a feeling she wasn’t going to like his answer. “My assignment was to seduce you or torture you if seduction failed to get answers.”
“Torture,” she gasped while rubbing her forehead, feeling a headache coming on.
So the whips and chains hadn’t been a sexy time play but a warning.
If only she had known that. “So everything was a lie? Getting close, the butterflies. It was all just to lull me into a false sense of security to trust you?”
Jack stepped towards her, and she stepped back. She didn’t want him anywhere near her at the moment. “The reasons for me moving here and getting close to you, yes, but everything else, no. My feelings were real. Everything between us was real.”
Everything between them. She’d had sex with a total stranger. Everything about him was fake. His name, his job. His reason for being there. She didn’t know him at all.
“Stop.” His voice cracked like a whip.
“What?” She hadn’t done anything.
“Stop psychoanalyzing everything.”
“I’ll do anything I damn well please,” she snapped. Who the hell was he to tell her what to do?
“Don’t look for everything wrong between us to turn something beautiful, ugly.”
“You did that by lying to me.”
“Not about everything,” he refuted.
How could he say that? “You just admitted you slept with me to get close to me for answers; how can you say that was real? That things between us weren’t a lie.” She waved her hand back and forth between them.
“I didn’t sleep with you for answers.”
Andrea scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“Think,” he said calmly as he stepped toward her. His steps were slow and short as if he were approaching a skittish deer. “Did I ever ask you anything about your past or anything personal after we made love?”
“No, but only because you passed out afterward.”
“Andrea, I could have gotten the information I needed from your computer or phone. I didn’t have to sleep with you for answers.”
If he thought those words would appease her, he was mistaken. It had the opposite effect. “So it was what, pity? Boredom? A challenge?”
“Never.” Jack took a breath, his fingers running through his hair. She could see the frustration on his face. “Yes, I lied to get you to go out with me. Would you have even given me the time of day if I had told you up front who I was and why I was there?”
“No, I would have run.” As she should be doing now instead of arguing with him.
“Exactly!” he exclaimed as if she had just proved his point. “Lying to you sucked, but I don’t regret it.”
Andrea gasped and spun around to walk away from him, but his hand lashed out and gripped her arm firmly. She didn’t try to pull away because she knew it was useless. He was much stronger than her.
“Don’t run away from me until you hear the rest of what I have to say.”
“I’ve heard enough,” she hissed. She had wanted answers, and now she had them—a decision she was regretting. Now she needed to be alone and plan her next move. Andrea tried to pull her arm free, but Jack wouldn’t release her.
“Only because it allowed me to get to know you better. Not on a sexual level but on a personal level. My motivations changed after our date. You were no longer just an assignment to me,” he said as if he hadn’t heard her.
Andrea tried to tug her arm free, needing to escape, to shut her ears and heart from his words. She wouldn’t let his words affect her. He was an admitted liar. She couldn’t believe anything he said. But his grip was like a steel band.
“Where are you trying to go?” he leaned down and whispered in her ear.
“I need to get in contact with WITSEC. They’ll help get me away and arrange a new identify.” At least she hoped they would. She didn’t have her burner phone, so she didn’t have the number to call, but she knew where to go. She tried to remember the code word.
“So that’s it then? You’re just going to keep running and hiding.”
Andrea stopped her struggles to glare up at him over her shoulder. “What else can I do? They killed my sister as if she was nothing, and she had been working with them. What do you think they’ll do to me?”
“I’ll protect you,” he stated assuredly, turning her in his arms to face him. Andrea didn’t feel the same.
“Says the spy sent to extract information from me by any means necessary. Please,” she scoffed. She’d take her chances with WITSEC. At least they were honest.
“Protecting is what I do for a living.”
“I don’t want you anywhere near me. I hate you,” she spat, wishing she could actually feel hate toward him.
She was upset, that it was true, but she didn’t hate him.
Part of her understood why he’d done what he did, but her emotions were raw, and all she wanted to do was retreat and lick her wounds.
“Go to them and you’ll always be hiding.
Is that the life you want? Always on the run.
Always looking over your shoulder. Looking at every face, wondering if they are mistaking you for your sister.
” It wasn’t, but her choices were limited.
“You don’t have to like me, but you can trust me to keep you alive and safe.
Regardless of your feelings, I’m not letting you out of my sight until this is over.
” He shook her as if to emphasize his words.
“Why, because I have the drive?”
Jack looked at her, baffled. “What drive?”
Shit, she hadn’t meant to let that slip. She’d just assumed Jack knew about the flash drive. Had seen Holly give it to her. Apparently not. “It doesn’t matter. I am no longer your obligation or whatever. Tomorrow morning, I’m leaving. It was just sex between us. Nothing more.”
“You know damned well it’s more than that,” he hissed, his voice low and grumbly. His hands flexed around her biceps, but he didn’t release her.
“I don’t. I think you used me and said whatever you wanted to get me to trust you, and you’re still doing it because you want something from me.
But I will tell you this.” She stepped closer until their chests were touching.
“It doesn’t matter what kind of torture you use on me, I will never help you.
Now release me,” she said calmly, proud her voice didn’t warble.
“Not until you forgive me.”
Andrea reared back. Was he insane? “There is no forgiving you for betraying me and using me.”
“Want to bet?”
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “This is not something to bet on.”
“Forgive me,” he whispered, rubbing his chest against hers.
“I can’t, and stop that.” Andrea closed her eyes to block him out. She wouldn’t cave so easily.
“Not the right words. Why won’t you forgive me?” He brushed her hair over her shoulder and dipped his head, rubbing his nose along her neck.
“Because I don’t trust you. You used sex to get close to me. Do you know how cheap that makes me feel?”
“No, I didn’t.” He shook his head in denial. His hair rubbing against her cheek. She caught a whiff of his shampoo. It wasn’t the same one she’d used tonight but one she’d smelled on him before.
“How did you not?” she countered; her hands were clenched in fists as she tried to appear unaffected by his touch even as she felt her nipples pebble and her breathing turn ragged.
“I didn’t use you for sex. Like I said, I never asked for any information from you when we were intimate.
Everything that happened in the bedroom was because we were drawn to each other.
” His voice turned deep and husky, luring her in.
She felt like the fly to the spider. He was coaxing her into false security only to hurt her in the end.
“What reason do I have to believe you won’t hurt me again?
” She hated how vulnerable she sounded, but Andrea wanted to believe him.
She cared deeply for him. That’s why his betrayal cut so deep, but she couldn’t forgive him, could she?
As the saying went, ‘Fool you once, shame on them. Fool you twice, shame on you.’ She wouldn’t be made a fool.
He pulled back far enough to look her in the eye. “You know everything now about me and why I’m here. I have no reason to lie to you anymore.”
“Would you really have tortured me if I hadn’t told you anything willingly?” His answer meant a lot to her.
“No, I don’t think I ever could with you. You mean something to me. Something important.” He reached up, stroking his fingers along her cheek to slip over her bottom lip with his thumb.
“I’m so confused. I don’t know who to trust.”
“Trust me,” he assured her.
“I don’t think I can.” Her heart couldn’t stand another betrayal.
“I’ll prove to you I’m trustworthy.”
“Doubtful.” Not really…she already felt herself weakening.
“Challenge accepted.” Jack leaned forward to kiss her, then stopped. “Is Andrea even your real name?”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to call out the wrong name when I’m balls deep inside of you.”
“Something tells me that’s a common occurrence for you.” With his legions of women, she bet it was hard for him to keep them all straight.
“Not when you don’t use their name,” he said in all seriousness that pissed Andrea off. “It was a joke. What is your name?”
“Andrea Rose Carroll.” She hadn’t said her name in so long it felt foreign. Like the name belonged to someone else.
“You didn’t change your first name?”
“You have something against it?” She liked her name except when people tried to shorten it to Andy.
“No, I’m just curious. I don’t know much about the WITSEC processing.”
“It’s easier to keep your first name. There’s less of a chance forgetting your name.” They had given her the choice to change it, but it was the only name she knew. She didn’t want to risk exposing herself when she didn’t answer to the right name.
“That makes sense. Make sure you use Jack. I’ve hated hearing that fake name coming from your lips.”
“Pretty confident for something that isn’t happening,” she quipped.
“Not yet, but soon.” His head dipped down, and he claimed her lips.
Andrea leaned back, pulling her lips from his. “Jack.” Firm, she had to remain firm.
“Ah, not that magic word.”
Shit, he had set up that safe word. “Don’t,” she said, knowing it was the wrong word.
“Nope, don’t try again.” He gripped the back of her head and pulled her back in for a drugging kiss that was making her forget all reason. Like why she was supposed to be angry with him.
“Jack.” His name came out a shudder as his teeth nipped her earlobe.
“I love hearing you say my name. Feel free to scream it. We don’t have any neighbors.”
“We shouldn’t.”
“Maybe, but we both want to.” He had never stopped wanting her even when he’d thought she was the enemy. “I came too damn close to losing you for my liking. I need to feel you. Reassure myself you’re alive and well. That I haven’t lost you.”
She had come close to dying tonight. If Jack hadn’t come when he did, there was a possibility she would have ended up like her sister. She very easily could have taken that bullet instead of her sister. “I was so scared.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” Jack gathered her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.
“I think it was the same people from the bar last night. They thought I was her. I think I led them to me.” She had gotten her sister killed. It was her fault.
“Shhh, don’t think about that now. We’ll make them pay for killing your sister.”
“Make me forget, Jack. Even if it’s just for a short time.” She no longer resisted the pull between them. She needed that affirmation she was still alive. The rest could wait.