Chapter 17 #3
Asao felt the shift before he realized what had caused it. The moment he laid eyes on a reminder of his sins, his body tensed with remorse he couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how many years had passed.
He locked eyes with Ky’Meera but didn’t speak. She narrowed hers ,which filled with rage the minute she recognized him. Asao walked past Na’Mya’s sister, praying she would let the past remain in the past.
They’d both suffered a loss, and even though he blamed himself for the grief they shared, he wasn’t the one who’d pulled the trigger that night. Asao couldn’t be responsible for the actions of another man and the self-imposed torment he placed on his shoulders wasn’t rightfully shared.
“So it’s fuck my sister and her memory. Muthafucker, you ain’t shit.
” The words were spoken to his back but they pierced his heart like a knife.
Asao flinched just enough for Samari to notice something was off.
She glanced over her shoulder, only to be met with years of hate and pain that shouldn’t have been directed at her.
The feelings had nowhere else to go, so the verbal attack was launched at her person.
“Bitch, don’t look at me. You think shit is sweet but it’s not.”
“Meera, chill. She doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re feeling.
Keep that shit respectful,” Asao said smoothly, even though his heart was conflicted.
He understood her reaction. Felt pain and loss the same as Ky’Meera, but Asao wouldn’t allow Samari to be pulled into the line of fire of a past that didn’t have anything to do with her.
“When that bitch is standing where my sister should be, this is about her.” Asao stepped away from Samari and moved closer to Ky’Meera. He also made a point of placing his body between the two women as a precaution.
“You’re hurt so I’m going to let the disrespect slide but don’t get things fucked up. I’m not to be played with.”
“What are you going to do, Sao? Put a hit on me like you did for my sister? You were never good enough for her. No matter how many times I told her to walk away from your sorry ass, she refused. Now she isn’t here and you have the next bitch at your side like my sister didn’t matter.
” She cut her eyes past him at Samari then shook her head seconds before she spit at his feet. “You’re a murderer.”
Asao took a step forward but his actions were halted by a hand on his arm. His rage-filled eyes dropped to the connection before her voice registered. “We should go.”
He glanced at Samari before he snatched away and his eyes were on Ky’Meera again.
“The respect I have for your sister will only get you so far. Don’t fucking push me,” he growled then walked away.
Samari gave the woman one last look before she followed him to his Jeep.
Asao was already in the driver’s seat, so she found her way to the other side and got in next to him.
“You want to tell me what that was about?”
“Nah, I really don’t, but I know I have to. I just need you to give me a minute though.”
Samari sensed there was more to the exchange than could be expressed through the accusations thrown out, so she nodded and buckled her seatbelt.
Asao guided them into traffic, and after a minute, he briefly turned his eyes on Samari. “If you don’t feel safe with me, Mari, I’ll take you home.”
“Put a hit out on me like you did my…”
The statement felt reckless but Samari needed the facts.
She considered his words before his eyes were on her again. Their gazes locked before she spoke. “I’m fine.”
He tossed his chin and neither of them spoke for the reminder of the drive. They ended up at his house in Crescent Cove, sitting outside on the deck. Asao had gone through his words a million and one times trying to figure out how to justify the life that had been lost on his watch.
When his words didn’t come, Samari asked questions. “Why is she blaming you for losing her sister?”
“Because she took a bullet meant for me.” He turned his eyes on Samari who frowned.
“Shit was different back then. I was in the streets heavy, always in the middle of something that put a target on my back. I wasn’t naive about the consequences of my actions but I always thought those consequences would be on me.
I never brought my bad decisions home. My knew who I was and how I got down but that doesn’t mean I don’t own the responsibility of doing my part to keep those bad decisions away from her. ”
Samari now fully understood. “What happened?”
“I was at the studio, had been there all night and she had class the next morning. I was in her car. She caught a ride to the studio to get it and people who were gunning for me shot up the car, thinking they’d gotten me. By the time they realized they hadn’t, it was too late.”
“You lost her.”
He nodded stiffly but kept his eyes on Samari.
That wasn’t his life anymore. Asao had left the streets years ago but everyone knew no one was ever truly detached.
She had to think about what that meant for her life, and after what she just witnessed, he wouldn’t blame her if she walked away and never looked back.
“They blame you?” she asked quietly. “Her family.”
“Yeah, and I respect how they feel. That was her sister but she was my heart. I blame myself, so I try not to let it get to me, but I’m barely carrying my own fucking anger and guilt. I can’t carry hers too.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“Yeah I should. I need to carry the shit and never fucking forget.”
She turned her attention toward the beach, and after a few more minutes of silence, Asao yanked a hand down his face. “This isn’t a conversation I wanted to have with you. But it’s necessary. That isn’t my life anymore but my past will always be attached to my future, whether I like it or not.”
Samari turned and met his gaze. “I don’t know what you want me to do with that.
You’re already all over me, Asao. I want things with you that I probably shouldn’t but I can’t stop wanting them.
I can’t do a damn thing about your past any more than I can make myself not want whatever this is we’re doing and that scares the shit out of me. ”
“You don’t have to be afraid to be with me, Mari.” His expression was hard and she smiled softly while laughing dryly.
“But I am and not because of what you just told me. You lost once, I have a feeling you’ll never let that happen again. My fear is about knowing that I’m already feeling things for you that could hurt me and I don’t know what to do with that.”
“You don’t have to do shit with it. I told you I’m carrying it all, Mari. Your insecurities and your fears, even if I’m the source of them shits.”
“You can’t be the problem and the solution, Asao.”
“I’m good at multitasking.” Asao brushed a hand over his head, allowing a minute for his mood to settle.
There were a lot of lingering emotions tied to his past and Samari didn’t deserve to be tainted by the things that sometimes kept him up at night.
He pushed past them and prayed she would follow. “You ready for next week?”
The smile she exposed lifted the weight from his chest. “I’m nervous.”
“I know you’re not still worried about that shit with Cobra?” His tone was level as opposed to the irritation attached to knowing Samari feared the actions of another man’s ability to touch her life while in his care.
“You said it’s handled, so I’m trusting you.”
“Then why are you nervous?”
“It’s been two years. What if my time has passed? If I hand over my heart and it’s rejected…”
Her eyes met his, delivering the double meaning. She was fearful of being rejected by fans who no longer cared about her talent and fearful of opening her heart to Asao. Both would shatter her world in irreparable ways.
“As soon as you open your mouth, they’re going to fall, Mari. Shit, I know I did.” He smirked but made sure he confirmed his double meaning as well.
“You’re biased.”
“Nah, I’m as real as they come. I don’t have a damn thing in this world but the promises I deliver and the decree I stand on. You never have to worry about me compromising either on some bullshit that doesn’t add value to my life or my world.”
She nodded, believing every single word. As complex as Asao might seem on the surface, at the core, he was simple. Trust, loyalty and pride were the fibers that made up the man.
“So can I be nervous about being the first artist representing Track Killaz?” she asked with a curious smile.
“My name is on it, so no, but the question is are you with us?”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t have a choice.”
“You know better than that,” he said smoothly and she nodded.
“I do but why now? Is this about me?” Samari’s brows furrowed while she stared at his handsome face, waiting.
She wouldn’t be so arrogant to assume the birth of his label was all about her, but considering the timing, she had to at least think the decision had been heavily influenced by her situation and his need to help.
“If I say yes, your ass might run.” Asao laughed lightly and moved a hand down his face.
He leaned back on his elbows and Samari frowned, glancing at him over her shoulder.
“Niles had the idea. I’m sure he’d been tossing that shit around in his head for a while, but when Cap decided to sell his spot, Niles brought it to me.
Knowing what you needed and what I could offer was motivation to say yes. ”
“Then it’s about me?”
He stared but didn’t respond and she released a sigh. “That’s a lot of weight to carry.”
“Then don’t let me down.” He winked and spoke so coolly, as if the demand meant nothing.
“No pressure at all, right?” she said through a sigh.
Asao chuckled and removed his phone. After swiping the screen to pull up the Munchies app, he handed it to Samari.
“Pick what you want.”
She accepted the device and immediately began swiping through restaurant menus in search of ideas to satisfy her hunger. “You’re not going to give me any suggestions.”
“Nah, I’m straight with whatever you decide. You cool with us chilling here today?”
“I don’t have stuff.”
“You were damn near crying to stay last time and I’m pretty sure with all those bags in my Jeep you can find what you need to survive the night. I’m also not opposed to you being naked while you’re here.”
Samari’s body heated because she definitely wasn’t opposed to being naked while here.