Chapter 18
ANGELA
Icouldn't believe he'd come.
Ayla knelt on the stool and lifted a box out of the tissue paper. “It’s the snow globe.”
It was the one that she’d admired at Belle’s shop. The one that was expensive. “Belle gave me a good deal on it,” Hudson murmured to me.
“You didn’t need to buy her a present.” What did it mean that he had bought her a present, but Gus didn’t?
“I wanted to,” he said simply before moving to assist her in getting the snow globe out of the box. He plugged it into the outlet on the side of the counter, and the snow immediately started moving.
“I love it,” Ayla said as she threw her arms around Hudson’s neck, and my heart squeezed.
He patted her back, and when he pulled away, he said, "I didn't realize I was supposed to wear my pj's.”
"We stay in our pj's all day on Christmas," Ayla said.
"Now, that's a tradition I can get behind."
I opened the box, conscious that I was still wearing my red pajamas with white piping, the ones that felt like silk against my skin.
Ayla pulled out a brownie, and I reached for plates. I set one in front of Ayla.
"There's apple pie, chocolate cake, brownies, and cookies. Mom goes all out when she bakes."
I plated the pie and took a bite. The sweetness was decadent on my tongue.
Hudson took the chocolate cake. "I'm a chocolate guy myself."
"Me too," Ayla agreed.
Ayla enjoyed having Hudson around. It was concerning because I wasn't sure how long he'd want to be here. I didn't think I could brush him off anymore.
Hudson wanted me.
We finished our desserts with holiday music playing in the background. We'd been watching a movie when he knocked, which was now paused on the TV.
Hudson helped me clean up the dishes, and I closed the dessert box, saving the rest of the treats for later.
Hudson brushed his hands together. "Now, show me all your presents. I want to see everything."
Ayla grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the tree where most of her presents still were.
My heart stuttered over the sight of Ayla holding another man's hand.
Gus didn't want the pressure of having to perform, as he called it. The expectation of getting the right present or creating the perfect holiday.
But Hudson was here, and he was holding my daughter's hand. I wasn't sure I was going to survive this evening. I was going to fall head over heels for him. He wasn't giving me a fighting chance.
Ayla knelt on the floor, and Hudson sat cross-legged next to her. She went through the presents one by one, saying whether it was a surprise or she'd asked for it. Hudson asked questions, and she patiently answered each one.
I was impressed that he cared enough to be here. He didn't have to spend time with my daughter. We'd only just met. I'd thought I'd date a man, and then when I was ready, he'd meet my daughter.
Instead, everything was out of order. I hadn't expected Hudson.
"Can we play this one?" Hudson pointed at Scrabble.
"You want to play, Mom?"
"Of course," I said, sliding off the couch.
We set it up, explaining the rules that we remembered from when we were kids.
"This game was Aspen's favorite, but we never wanted to play it with her."
Ayla frowned. "Why didn't you want to play it?"
"It's a stupid sibling thing. When you have a brother or sister you want to make them as miserable as possible."
She made a face. "That sounds awful."
"And we gave our sister the hardest time because she was the only girl. But she gave it back to us just as hard. She pulled pranks on us and never failed to get us blamed for everything. It was never her fault."
Her nose wrinkled. "Maybe I don't want a sibling."
"I don't recommend five."
She nodded seriously. "Yeah, that's a lot."
I loved that they were bonding. That Hudson was taking his time to get to know Ayla and letting her know him.
We played several rounds of the game, helping out Ayla when she got stuck. When she yawned, I said, "I think it's time for bed. You were up early."
"But Hudson's here."
And I wanted him to myself. But I couldn't tell her that. "You'll have plenty of time to play tomorrow."
"Ugh. Fine. But can Hudson read me another story?"
"Sure. If he wants to." There was something about sharing her bed last night and reading the classic tale that felt a lot like we were a family. I shouldn't get too attached to that idea.
"I want to," Hudson said.
It shouldn't surprise me when he wanted to be with us, but it was still jarring. It was going to take some getting used to.
"It won't take me long to get ready. I'm already in my pj's." Ayla ran upstairs.
I should have told her to change into another set, but I wasn't going to push her tonight.
"Are you surprised I came over?" Hudson asked.
"Yes." I hoped I wasn't revealing too much by saying that.
"You didn't want me to come."
I chewed my lip, debating how much to tell him.
"My ex was weird about the holidays. He would leave, and when I asked him where he went, he'd say to drive around.
He mentioned something about pressure and not living up to everyone's expectations.
I can't explain it because I don't understand it.
And he did that enough that I decided being alone was better than living with someone but feeling lonely. "
"That's interesting."
"Right? I was shocked the first time it happened and a little freaked out.
I thought he was breaking up with me or at least cheating.
But he really couldn't deal with expectations.
He got fired from a lot of jobs too. It was a pattern I didn't see until it was too late.
He can't handle any kind of pressure. So that's why he doesn't see Ayla on any holidays. "
A crease appeared between his brows. "What about her birthday?"
"Not even then." This was something I didn't talk about with anyone, because it was such an odd thing. I'd never heard of anyone having that issue before. I felt like I was going a little bit crazy when I first noticed it was happening.
He touched my hand, and my gaze drifted to where his larger hand covered mine. The warmth seeped through my skin. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Emotions were bubbling up inside me. I was afraid to give into them. I should get to know him better. I hadn't realized how Gus was until we were already married.
"I'm ready," Ayla called down the stairs.
"Coming," I said, and before I could stand, Hudson squeezed my hand. "Thank you for sharing that with me."
Before I could say anything, he stood and walked toward the steps. I followed at a slower pace. When I reached Ayla's door, he was already on the bed his feet stretched out in front of him.
It was difficult to draw a deep breath. I'd imagined sharing my life with someone, but nothing compared to the reality.
At one point, I thought my future was Gus. And I thought I'd be content being a single mom, assuming no one would want to get to know me and my daughter. But Hudson was blowing those assumptions out of the water.
Hudson's gaze met mine. "Are you coming?"
I huffed out a laugh as I moved to sit on the other side of Ayla. "Yeah."
This time, she picked a book about a bunny and a carrot. It was cute with visuals of tunnels and carrots around every turn. The bunny was obsessed with carrots, about as fixated as I was becoming on Hudson.
He finished the story and started to close the book, but Ayla stopped him. "Again."
"Ayla, ask nicely."
"Will you please read it again?" Ayla asked sweetly, and Hudson smiled.
"How can I say no to that?"
I groaned playfully. "Never let her know that she gets to you."
"I'll be reading all night, won't I?" Hudson said.
"There's nothing wrong with that," Ayla said.
I limited reading books at night to three picture books. Otherwise, she would take advantage, and I needed time to myself before I headed to bed. And tonight? I wanted Hudson to myself.
He was infiltrating the walls I'd put up. I'd thought they were so high; no one would be able to scale them. But Hudson was doing it easily. I needed to decide if I was going to let him, or if I was going to put up a fight.
The more time he spent with us, the less justification I was finding to put a stop to this. He seemed like a good guy. His family was great. And didn't I deserve something good? Something just for me?
I'd been working so hard to raise Ayla and build a future for ourselves. I could indulge in a handsome man who made time for me and my daughter.
When the story was finished the second time, I stood. "Time for bed. You had a big day."
Ayla snuggled under the covers, and I hugged and kissed her. When Hudson moved to leave, Ayla lifted her arms. "Hug?"
I saw the moment when he realized that he couldn't resist her. He leaned over and hugged her, and my heart beat harder at the sight. What if Hudson could be ours?
It was inconceivable just last week. But now that he was here, I could see him in our future.
My present was reorganizing itself with Hudson playing a role in our day-to-day.
I loved the way that he made me feel. Like I could rely on someone.
That I could love and be loved. I'd almost given up hope on finding something like that for myself.
I hoped I wasn't being naive. That he wouldn't get tired of dating a single mom. The fact that our time alone would be limited, or Ayla would be sick or have activities.
Only time would tell. But I'd never know if I didn't take a risk.
I said goodnight and turned off the light. I closed the door and walked downstairs with Hudson. "Did you want to stay for a bit?"
"Yeah, I'd like that."
I sat with him on the couch, unsure what to do. "I haven't been on a date in a while. And it's probably been longer since I had someone at my place."
He sat with his knees spread, his thigh resting against mine. "I could say the same. This is different for me."
"Because I have a kid."
"That and I really like you. This isn't some fling for me. I'm hoping that you're willing to take a chance on me."
I let out a breath. "I want to."
"I want to be there for you and Ayla. If you'll let me."
"It's not easy for me, but I want that too."
He surprised me by picking up the remote. "You want to watch TV?"
"Sure."
He turned on a holiday movie, and we settled into the cushions. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted far more than that, but I had to wait until Ayla was asleep.
When the couple kissed on the screen, I felt restless. I wanted to touch him.
His hand landed on my thigh, and everything inside me stilled. "You think Ayla's asleep?"
"I don't think she slept well last night, waiting for Santa, so I think we're safe."
He shifted so that he faced me, his hand landing on my jaw, and I leaned in closer so that our lips met. I couldn't seem to get close enough. I lifted my leg so that I straddled his lap, and both of his hands cupped my cheeks as we kissed.
I felt reckless and a little wild. I wanted more. So much more.
He rested his forehead against mine. "I want to make you feel good."
I looked into his eyes. "I want that too."
He shifted so that I was on my back on the cushions and he was hovering over me. He kissed me as his hand drifted under my top and his palm covered my stomach. I wanted him to touch me everywhere.
I lifted up, and he helped me unbutton my pajama top. Underneath, I wore one of my products, a sheer bra with a candy cane design.
"I think I'm in love with what you wear under your clothes," he said as he stared at me, not touching.
"I own a lingerie shop. I'm a little naughty."
He groaned, not wasting any time sucking on my nipple through the transparent material. I bit my lip so that I wouldn't make any noise. We had to be quiet.
The only light in the room was the fire and the tree. It flickered over Hudson's face. I closed my eyes as he lightly bit my nipple, his other fingers working the band of my bottoms, pulling them down.
I'd worn pajamas all day, thinking about how easy access they were. He tugged them down, along with my matching panties. He placed his arms under my thighs and spread my legs farther so he could suck on my clit.
I bucked against him, wondering when a man had last touched me, much less put his mouth on me. And it was one of the first things that Hudson had done.
He licked and sucked, adding one finger, then two, driving my desire higher, until I couldn't hold on any longer. He sucked hard on my clit, and I went off, trembling and shaking, white lights exploding behind my lids.
When I opened my eyes, he braced himself over me. "You want to go any further?"
I knew what he was saying. Ayla was here, and we were in the living room. I moved to the floor on my knees, unhooking my bra so that I was naked . He shoved his jeans down, pulling his shirt over his head.
I knelt between his legs, cupping his dick, which was hard.
His hand played with the strands of my hair. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to." I licked the precum off the head and sucked him into my mouth.
He hissed. "Fuck. I can imagine how you're going to feel when I finally get inside you."
I loved his dirty talk, his obvious passion for me. I couldn't remember the last time I felt truly desired by a man. I paused when I was reminded of his gaze on me when I was sitting on that chaise lounge.
He'd wanted me then.
His fingers tightened in my hair. "You look so sexy on your knees with my cock filling your mouth."
I sucked harder, loving the way he reacted to every little thing I did. I alternated pumping the base of his cock and sucking him deep.
He cocked a brow. "You like that?"
I nodded, keeping his dick in my mouth, unwilling to pull off to give a verbal response. He was getting me hot with that dirty talk.
He tapped my shoulder, a universal warning that I should pull off soon if I didn't want to swallow. Instead, I doubled down on my efforts, taking him deep.
He came with a roar, his hands gripping me tighter. I swallowed him, then settled back on my heels.
His muscles finally loose, he rested back on the couch, tugging me to sit next to him. I curled against his side, his arm heavy on my back.
I felt sexy.
His fingers moved across my skin, and I melted against him. He kissed my forehead. "We should get dressed. We're not alone."
I sighed, not wanting reality to creep in, but knowing he was right. I slowly unfolded my legs and reached for my pajamas. Once they were on, he was standing, tugging up his zipper. Then pulled the shirt over his head.
I thought he'd want to leave. But instead, he sat down and gestured for me to sit next to him. "When can I see you again?"
Warmth spread through me. "Ayla's at her dad's this weekend."
"I want to spend the weekend with you."
"We can arrange that." The shop wouldn't be open, so I was free.
I rested my head on his shoulder, watching the flames in the fireplace. I was content just being with him.
I tried not to think too far ahead. It was enough that we were seeing each other again, and this time, I'd have him to myself.