Chapter 27 Emily
EMILY
There was no getting around it. I was in love with Donovan Hughes.
Of course I would fall for the wrong man.
I always did. My ex was a prime example of that.
Narcissistic. Serial cheater. Emotionally abusive.
He was all things terrible, and it took me far too long to wake up to his horrible treatment.
Donovan was none of those things. He was honest and up front about everything.
He just also happened to be emotionally unavailable.
It was clear he cared about me and enjoyed our time together, but it would never go deeper than that.
He wouldn’t give up his career goals now that they were within reach, and I would never ask him to.
He also hadn’t asked me to come to Boston with him, so his feelings clearly didn’t run as deeply as mine did.
For the record, if he’d asked, I would've said yes. It would’ve been hard leaving my family behind, but it was going to be harder trying to raise one with a man who lived several states away, a man who was slowly breaking my heart a little more every day.
He’d been so good to me since I came to live with him a couple weeks ago.
He was gentle, kind, and attentive. He made sure to stock all my favorite snacks in his pantry, put gas in my car when the tank was low, and ensured that I ate even when I got busy with work.
He’d even helped me pack up everything I needed from my apartment once the fire chief cleared the scene and spent the day helping me with laundry so I could wash the smell of smoke out of my clothes.
And every night, he showed me with his lips and hands and body what I’d be missing once he was gone.
After that first night sharing his bed, neither of us were willing to go back to our previous sleeping arrangement.
I was ravenous for him, and he was more than happy to satisfy my every need.
I wasn’t sure how long it would last or if he’d keep this going until he left.
All I knew was that I’d take whatever he would give me because I knew the clock was running out on our time together.
Maybe that made me pathetic, but I didn’t care.
After our original arrangement ended, I was devastated. I stuck to the plan and didn’t contact him even though I'd been desperate to hear his voice. I wouldn’t squander this second chance at having him all to myself before I lost him for good.
“I’m heading to the airport,” Donovan said as he entered the kitchen, rolling a suitcase behind him.
He was flying to Boston to meet with his team.
He would only be gone one night, but it felt like an eternity knowing I’d be all alone in his big empty bed.
I shook away those thoughts and plastered on a smile.
“Have a safe flight.”
And please come back to me.
I didn’t give voice to those thoughts. How could I? I wouldn’t guilt him into staying or try to convince him not to take the job. I wanted him to choose me, to choose us, on his own.
He hesitated a moment, uncertainty flashing in his eyes.
Then he crossed to me, eating up the distance in three quick strides.
He pulled me into his arms and crushed his lips to mine.
I slipped my arms around his neck and arched into him, relishing the feel of his hard body against mine.
His tongue tangled with mine, and his hands fisted into the back of my shirt.
There was so much longing in his kiss, I thought he might hold on and never let go.
Much to my disappointment, he pulled back, loosening his grip on me. He dropped his forehead to mine and closed his eyes.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promised, but it felt like a lie.
It felt like he was telling me goodbye.
“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” Delilah crooned after opening her door to find me standing on her front porch. Her smile melted away, and her face filled with worry when she took me in. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s gone,” I said, my voice wobbly as I tried to hold back the tears. “And I didn’t even try to stop him.” The dam broke, and a sob tore out of me. My cousin instantly pulled me into a hug, and I cried into her shoulder.
“Let’s get you inside,” she said, guiding me through the front door.
She led me to the kitchen and pulled out a seat at the table for me before going to the stove and stirring something in a large pot.
Replacing the lid, she took the seat next to mine and gripped my hand.
“What do you mean he’s gone? He’s not supposed to leave for another couple months. ”
“He went to Boston for a meeting,” I said, sniffling. Her shoulders sagged with relief, and the tight pinch of her brow relaxed.
“So he’ll be back soon?”
I nodded. “Tomorrow night,” I confirmed.
“Okay,” she said, drawing out the word, hoping for me to elaborate.
“I don’t like him not being there in the evening.
The house feels empty without him. I don’t want to go to bed alone.
” Delilah’s eyes widened, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
As far as everyone knew, we were keeping things platonic while I was staying with him.
That had been the plan, but we shot that all to hell a few nights in, and I didn’t have it in me to regret a single moment.
“You’re in love with him, aren't you?” Delilah asked after a moment.
“Desperately,” I replied honestly.
“Does he know?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Has he—”
Her question was cut off when Vance burst into the kitchen.
“Something smells amazing,” he began, but drew up short when he saw me.
“Emily, what are you…” His voice fell away when he took in my tear-streaked face.
His confused gaze bounced between me and Delilah before it narrowed in recognition.
His jaw clenched, and his teeth ground together.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.” He turned on his heel and marched out of the kitchen.
Delilah rushed after him with me hot on her heels.
“Wait!” she called as he shrugged his coat on and reached for the door. “He’s not home. He’s in Boston."
He turned toward us slowly, a rage like I’d never seen burning in his eyes. “What?” he gritted out.
I quickly explained the situation to him, leaving out the part about missing Donovan in my bed, and the tension slowly left his posture. “I just didn’t want to be there alone,” I admitted, my teary eyes and trembling voice giving away just how much I’d begun to rely on Donovan in such a short time.
Without hesitation, Vance pulled me into a hug. I felt safe in his embrace. He was my brother in every way that mattered, and he would always be my shelter. Once I calmed down he released me, giving my arms a reassuring squeeze.
“He’s a damn fool if he takes that job. I don’t care how often he visits; he’s going to miss out on so much,” Vance said, shaking his head with disappointment.
“It’s a done deal,” I replied, pain spearing through my chest. Vance cursed as he dragged a hand down his face.
“I’m sorry, Emily. If I had known you were interested in him, I would've warned you to stay away. Donny doesn’t do relationships, hasn’t since college. I could’ve saved you a lot of heartache.”
I offered him a sad smile. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.
I never intended to fall for him or to become pregnant.
Both were unexpected. But I wouldn’t take back what happened between us.
Erasing the pain would also erase the joy.
” His shoulders slumped, and defeat replaced the anger in his expression.
“Besides, this may be the only chance I’ll get to have kids.
I wasn’t sure I wanted any, but now that I’m going to be a mom, I can’t wait for the moment I get to hold my little one in my arms for the first time.
” My hand instinctively went to my lower belly, cradling the precious life that was growing inside.
“You’re going to be an incredible mother,” Delilah said softly.
“I hope so. I’ve had some amazing examples to study through the years.
” My throat grew tight as I thought about my sister, Sarah.
She’d been the most loving, caring, and gentle mother, but she was taken from us far too soon.
Delilah had filled that role like no one else could.
It was serendipity that she and Vance ended up falling in love since she was Charlie’s biological mother.
It had been an act of pure selflessness when she’d allowed Vance and Sarah to adopt Charlie, and even though she regretted missing out on the first few years of her life, she’d been making up for it ever since.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Delilah asked, cutting into my thoughts.
“I’d love that,” I said, wringing my hands together nervously. “Would it be okay if I also spent the night? I don’t want to go back to an empty house,” I admitted.
“Of course,” Vance said without hesitation. “You’re always welcome here,” he said, and I detected a deeper meaning in his tone. I didn’t have to go back to Donovan’s if I didn't want to. And I was starting to think that was for the best.