40. Impossible Dreams
Impossible Dreams
I’d spent the past three days convincing myself that Maddox Moriarty was my impossible dream. Everyone has one. The kind you carry through life, quietly wondering who you might have become if fate had been a little kinder. The love that could never work, no matter how much you wanted it.
But tonight, he was mine. The moment I saw him standing in the doorway of my bedroom, looking as tortured as I felt, I knew I wasn’t strong enough to make him leave.
His hands tangled in my curls as he kissed me with an aching tenderness that stole every coherent thought from my mind. The sensual sweep of his tongue against mine melted away the tension in my body as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
His hand slid from my hair and circled my waist, drawing my body flush against his as I moaned into the kiss.
He hooked one of my thighs and lifted me onto his hips, never breaking away as he walked us towards the window seat.
When he lowered me onto it carefully, as if I were the most delicate flower he’d ever picked, I reluctantly pulled back from his lips and opened my eyes.
He’d sat me on the edge and dropped to his knees between my open thighs. His black eyes held mine as he dipped his head and kissed his way up my inner thigh, while his fingers peeled my thong down from under my oversized T-shirt. His stolen T-shirt, actually.
My head dropped back against the glass window when he kissed my clit softly.
He kissed it again, ending with a small suck and flick of his tongue, drawing ragged breaths from my chest as my hands gripped the pink cushion beside me.
He was being a tease and taking his time.
Savouring every second. Without realising until that moment, I needed this from him.
I was angry at the world and how cruel it could be.
I was angry with my family and the sacrifices I had to make for them.
But mostly, I was angry with myself and the choices I’d made.
I didn’t want to take that anger out on Maddox, nor did I want hot, explosive, angry sex.
I wanted this. Him. I needed to feel his desperation and devotion, and to know I wasn’t the only one carrying the weight of our tragic love.
My hands clawed into his hair as his tongue slowly swirled around my clit.
I moaned as his hands tightened on my thighs.
I lifted my head, panting, and met his dark gaze between my legs as he worshiped me with his mouth and tongue.
He groaned against me; the vibrations making me lightheaded as the pleasure built.
He watched me fall apart for him, slow and all-consuming, an orgasm that never seemed to end.
Lifting the T-shirt higher, he kissed his way up my stomach as I tried to clear my mind and my vision of the blinding pleasure.
“Is this mine?” he husked, his voice deep and possessive as he tugged the shirt.
“Y-yes,” I panted, letting a slight smirk curve my lips. “I stole it from the pool house while you were with Gio.”
“Little thief,” he murmured against my skin, pulling the top over my head and throwing it to the floor. His lips traced the ink on my ribs as his hands slid along the curve of my waist, drawing me closer to him. “Are you still mine?”
“Always,” I answered without hesitation as he ran his tongue along his handwriting.
His hands cupped my tits, pushing them together as he rubbed over my nipples with his thumbs.
My eyes fluttered when he took one in his hot, wet mouth and gave it the same treatment he’d just given my clit.
I arched off the window seat with a moan, my hands clawing through his dark hair as he wrapped his arms around my back.
In an impressive show of strength, he lifted me with one arm and stood; his lips found mine again, and he moved towards my double bed.
Our tongues danced as I reached inside his shorts and wrapped my hand around his heavy dick.
He groaned, lowering us onto the mattress as I rolled my thumb over his leaking slit and massaged his tip with pre-cum.
“Fuck,” he growled against my lips, trapping my naked body between his and the mattress. “I need to be inside you.”
He kissed me deeply, and I pressed my hands to his chest, forcing him to roll onto his back as I straddled his waist. I sat back and stared down at him.
Moonlight spilt through the bay window, washing him in an ethereal silvery glow while shadows danced across the sharp angles of his face.
He was the most rugged, brutally beautiful man I’d ever seen.
His hands rested on my hips as I knelt up and took his enormous cock in my hand, before sinking down torturously slow.
His head tipped back, a low, satisfied groan rumbling through his chest beneath my palms. Holding his gaze, I took all of him into me as my breath caught in my throat. My eyes closed for a heartbeat, overwhelmed by the fullness and stretch of him deep inside.
When I opened them, he was already watching me.
The intensity in his hooded onyx eyes sent my pulse racing and desire coursing through my veins.
His lips parted on a slow exhale as I rolled my hips, massaging his cock against that sensitive spot that made my toes curl.
His hands guided my movements as his tongue swept lazily across his lips, then curved into the faintest, awestruck smile.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed.
My heart beat out of my chest. I leaned forward and kissed him as we moved together, finding a pace that left us both filling the room with heavy breaths and moans. Sex had always been intense with him, but this was a different intensity.
When we were growing too close to mind-bending pleasure, Maddox grabbed my wrists and rolled us, flipping me onto my back.
He held my wrists above my head in one hand as he thrust back inside me with a deep grunt.
I gasped, my eyes rolling when he held himself there.
His tongue claimed my mouth, slow and possessive, as his hips rotated into me, pulling out almost completely before he slid back in slowly.
A deep, burning ache of need and love ignited between us.
He loved me. I could feel it.
Maddox has never been a man of words. Words were never how we communicated best. But he says those three little words in the quietest, soul-shattering ways: by letting me go to save my family, even as every part of him wants to hold on, and every piece of himself he breaks to keep me safe.
It’s written in every sacrifice he has ever made for me.
And tonight, he was giving me a part of himself he’d never believed could exist. He was making love to me.
“Soraya…” My name fractured beneath his breath as his hand spread across my hip, anchoring me to him while he pumped into me at a faster pace.
I held his face in my hands and kissed him as the intensity built quicker than I could control.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, needing more of him.
His hand moved from my hip, dipping between the mattress and my ass as he squeezed it, pushing himself deeper than he’d ever been before.
I cried out with an explosion of hot pleasure, his mouth swallowing the sound before he pressed his forehead to mine.
He pulsed his hips into me one more time before he pulled out and came all over my stomach with a deep groan.
“Fuck,” he panted, dropping his full body weight onto me and crushing the air from my lungs.
I didn’t even care that I couldn’t breathe. I ran my fingers through his hair and kept kissing the side of his face as he buried it in the pillow. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and twisted to the side, taking me with him so we ended up entangled in each other’s arms.
I stared at his perfect face, playing with the strands of his sweaty hair as he closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. The overwhelming peace of lying in his arms after the most romantic and soul-consuming sex felt too good to be true. Because it was.
This wasn’t reality. This was a dream. My impossible dream. I’d wake in the morning, and it would be over.
He opened his eyes and looked at me. No words. Just those eyes, and everything they could never hide from me. I smiled, swallowing the emotion threatening to show. I wouldn’t cry. Not tonight.
“I love you too,” I whispered, brushing my thumb over the stubble on his jaw.
He swallowed. His grip on my body tightened.
“I’ll kill him.”
I paused, frowning. “McKenna?”
“Him too.”
A nervous laugh tickled my throat. “Who then?”
His gaze never left mine.
“Aleksandr.”
My hand stilled. The softness in the room was swallowed by the dark, cold certainty in his voice. I’d seen that look in his eyes before. He had just convinced himself that something had to happen. He would make it happen, regardless of the consequences or risks. Panic reared up inside me.
“Maddox. You can’t.”
“I’ll make it look like an accident. One that the Bratva can’t trace back to your family.”
I pushed myself up on one elbow, resting my hand on his chest as he stared up at me with that deadpan expression. “Maddox, listen to me. Do not do anything stupid.”
“Stupid is you marryin’ him.”
“If Aleksandr dies before the debt is paid, the Bratva won’t shrug and move on.
He’s the heir to the world’s largest mafia empire.
They’ll look for someone to blame. My family or you.
They won’t care. They won’t stop until someone answers for it.
If they even suspect you had anything to do with it, they will not only come for you but also for anyone you care about. ”
Silence fell between us. He looked away first, his jaw tight.
“I can’t let you go,” he whispered. “I can’t walk away knowin’ another man gets to have you when you belong to me.”
My heart splintered.
I cupped his face, forcing his gaze back to mine.
“Before you, I didn’t dream of anything.
I moved through life without really knowing what I wanted from it.
But the moment Sean threw me into that bunker with you, I knew exactly what I wanted.
You. You made me wish for so many things, and you made them come true.
But now there’s something I want more than anything else. ”
“What?”
“That you live.”
He opened his mouth to speak, a deep scowl on his face, but I covered his mouth with my hand.
“Kill Sean. Make him pay for what he did.”
His breathing slowed beneath my palm.
“Come back alive. Find your sister. Live the life that was stolen from you.”
I smiled through the tears burning my eyes.
“And know that I’m okay because I’ll know that somewhere in this world, you are free.”
He grabbed my face and pulled me closer. “I don’t want freedom if it doesn’t have you in it.”
“I know.” I pressed my lips together. I tried to lighten the mood by adding, “But we can’t shut the world out and live in a bunker.”
“I’ll build us our own. In Australia.”
“Why Australia?”
He exhaled and pulled himself up against the bed. “It’s where my sister is.”
My eyes widened. “Riley? You found Riley?”
He nodded. “She found me, actually. Nolan helped her.”
“But… you still killed him?” I frowned, trying to piece together the picture from only a few puzzle pieces.
“I didn’t kill him. He’s alive. In Australia.” He gave me a disapproving look that made my lips twitch. “They’re ‘an item’.” He rolled his eyes.
“I–I don’t understand. You said… and the file showed Nolan was…”
He delved into an explanation, telling me everything that had really happened after the fight. I listened with my hand over my mouth, a wave of gratitude for Nolan washing over me. He’d not only saved Riley’s life but Maddox’s too, all while risking his own.
“So that’s your plan after this…” I forced a smile. “Get a tan and live in the wild outback. I think that life suits you.”
“I’m not going. Not without you.”
“You’re impossible.” I rested my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around him. He kissed the top of my head and lifted his leg, trapping my feet between them. My eyes widened as I realised what he’d done. I tilted my head back to look at him, and he smiled.
“You remember?”
“I never forgot,” he husked. “I just didn’t know why I could never sleep without your feet freezing me half to death.”
I laughed, which turned into a small sob, my heart soaring with a crippling pain. He hugged me tighter.
“I lost my memories. But never you, Soraya.” He ran his fingers over my tattoo. “Just don’t tell me I’m too late.”
I kissed his chest, burying my face against him because I didn’t have the answers. Of course, I wanted to ignore the world and run away with him more than anything. But I couldn’t abandon my family and leave them to the Russian’s wrath.
At that moment, I realised something. Pain wasn’t the opposite of love.
Pain was proof that love mattered. It’s the price you pay for loving someone so completely that they become woven into the fabric of your soul.
One day, every love story will end. Heartbreak, death, distance or change.
How it ended was never life’s tragedy. Never loving someone enough to make the ending hurt… that was.
If I had to spend the rest of my life with the deep ache of loving Maddox Moriarty, it wasn’t a burden. It was proof that, even for a brief moment in time, I’d been loved by the right person.