Chapter 3
Jess is at her dad's tonight. It's Saturday night and a long while since we’ve had a night out, so on a last-minute decision and a couple of phone calls, it's a few drinks at mine before going into town to our usual pubs and probably the local nightclub.
The front door opens downstairs. I'm expecting Amanda and Karen. “I’ll be down in a minute,” I shout to them and turn back to the mirror to check my outfit.
My dress is much more daring than my usual style, but I figured, ‘what the hell’ – I’ll only be able to get away with wearing dresses like this for another few years.
It’s a purple fitted dress. The material falls against my body, clinging at every opportunity, stopping just above the mid-thigh and revealing quite a bit of leg.
It’s sleeveless and drops to a v at the front to show cleavage – not overkill, just the right amount.
My curvy frame suits the dress, and my red hair complements the purple.
I’ve got my hair loose and wavy, and my makeup is done with extra emphasis on the eyes in my attempt to appear sultry - whether I can pull it off is a whole other story.
I nod at my reflection, for a mother and a woman in her thirties, I don’t scrub up too badly at all.
I pick up my black heels, which are way too high for me, but help me not be such a short arse in front of Karen.
I won’t be putting them on until I leave the house – I’m going to suffer for wearing them at all.
As I make my way down, I can hear them in the kitchen, making themselves at home, getting drinks. I walk in, and they both whistle.
Karen says, “Phew! Smoking hot mama coming through!”
“Shut up!” I say laughing.
“No chick, you look fab.” Amanda says, “I would kill for your figure. You have a figure that makes men want to protect you and be an alpha male.”
“Do I? Well, they mustn’t have got the memo, because unless I’m mistaken, I don’t have any of them knocking my door down to get to me!”
“Well, that’s because the men in this town are idiots, that’s why I turned lesbian!” Karen says in total mock seriousness.
“Oh, really, I thought it was more the fact that you fancy women. Maria will vouch for that. I take it she couldn't get the shift off at short notice?”
Karen shrugs, “Nah, the hospital needs her tonight, they're short-staffed, these are the trials and tribulations of being married to a nurse. She said to have a drink for her.”
“Oh, we will,” Amanda says, taking a big gulp of her drink.
I turn to Amanda, “What is Greg doing tonight?”
“He’s out with a couple of his mates at our local. He said he might meet us later - he said he’d see how they go.”
“How are you holding up, hun?”
“You mean am I upset about my body letting me down again? We were gutted yesterday when I came on my period, but I have to remember, it's only been a few months, nothing to worry about yet.”
“Of course not, hun, you have lots of time.”
“Anyway, I'm forgetting about it tonight, and I'm not pregnant, so I'm getting well and truly sloshed!”
“Good for you,” Karen replies.
Both of my friends still look as amazing as they did ten years ago.
Karen’s height totally works for her; her blond, curly hair is let to run wild, together with her blue eyes, which always have a constant twinkle in them.
.. gorgeous! She’s wearing skinny jeans and a dressy silver vest top.
She has a wicked sense of humour, whenever she’s around, you know you’re going to end up laughing so hard that you’re in danger of wetting yourself.
A lot of people are fooled by her silliness and her hair colour and presume she's a ditzy blonde, but she's far from it - she’s a highly intelligent woman.
She tries to hide it, she likes to shock people.
She works for a research chemical company in Manchester that collaborates with the NHS as their lead scientist or similar role.
Amanda’s blonde, too, she's a little chunkier than we are, something that she complains about quite a bit. She's the quietest one of us, she likes to have a good time, but never gets blotto, so she's on a mission tonight. I love them both, I don’t know what I would do without them. They’re my family. When Patrick told me he was gay, they were amazing, there for me every day, Karen making me laugh and Amanda being my shoulder to cry on - I’ve been there for them when they needed me too… we’re an excellent team.
I'm dying to talk about Nathan, so after a few drinks, my tongue gets loose and I tell them about him. I haven’t been able to get him out of my head for the last two weeks since that kiss, and I need to talk about him before I explode.
I've replayed the scene so many times. Sometimes, I take it further, and we have sex on the kitchen counter (in my head, of course!). My vibrator has been getting a lot of action, it’s worrying me that I want him so much – or my body does - my head is saying no, no, no!
After I’ve told them the whole story, they both stare at me, shocked.
“What?” I ask them.
“You like him.” Karen states.
I snort, “Huh, I do not.”
Amanda joins in, “Oh, I think you do, Kathryn!” using my full name. Which she does when she wants to make a point.
“I can’t go there, he's everything I don’t want.
He’ll want a quick shag, get what he wants, then I have to see him every day at school and hate myself.
You guys remember how much I liked him the first time around - how shitty he made me feel - so why would I want to go there again?
I admit he’s bloody attractive now - he always was anyway - but with maturity and ruggedness, and being a brilliant dad?
Yes, he’s appealing, very appealing, but I cannot let myself go down that route. ”
“Maybe he’s changed.” Amanda, ever the optimist.
“Yeah, or maybe he remembers Kate’s easy, a good lay and gorgeous and wants his fill… literally. Sorry, sweetie.” Karen smirks.
“Thanks a lot!” I say, horrified.
“Just saying…” Karen shrugs.
“But if you never agree to a date, how will you ever know?” Amanda grins at me.
I don’t want to get hurt like last time, but I don’t want to admit that he has that power over me. These stupid sex stories that I'm imagining about him are clouding my judgment.
“I suppose. I don’t know what to do about him. Anyway…” I shrug. “Let’s phone for a taxi and get out before I sober up – there’s a Jaegerbomb with my name on it out there.”
“Woo Hoo!” Karen shouts, “I’m up for shots.”
We do our pub crawl, getting tipsier in each pub.
I’m on my way to a monster hangover in the morning when we get to the club, Bounce - it’s had many, many names over the years, but it's still the same dingy, dodgy club that it always has been - it has all you need though, a bar, a DJ and a dance floor.
We pay our entry fee and head to the bar for another drink before hitting the dance floor. “Jesus, it’s busy in here tonight. I might be getting too old for this.” I shout to the girls as I jostle to get to the bar.
“Shut up, wench, thirty-three is not old, you don’t get your arse out enough, so you’re not used to it anymore,” Karen shouts.
I sigh. I do need to get out more. I’m getting tired of acting grown-up all the time.
I’m the responsible mother when Jess is around, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but when she’s with her dad, what’s stopping me from going out and having fun?
I should make the most of it. I’m going to let loose tonight.
Sod being sensible. I ordered us all a bottle of lager and a Jaegerbomb - my shot of choice.
Once we’ve downed them, we go upstairs where we can stand on the balcony to watch everyone dance.
We people-watch and gossip. I need a wee, so I tell the girls that I’ll be right back.
As I step out of the ladies' room, my eyes meet a familiar pair that burn straight into mine, and my heartbeat quickens. It’s like going back ten years in time.
Nathan is leaning back against a pillar with his arms folded, but holding a bottle of beer in one hand.
He is the epitome of cool - he screams sex in dark jeans and a fitted black t-shirt, seeming as though he hasn’t made an effort, but he has.
His hair is getting a little too long, the wave in it starts to show, I have to brace my hands at my side so that I don’t reach out and touch it - that would definitely give him the wrong idea – but my hands think it’s a great idea - especially as the alcohol running around my system likes what it sees and is encouraging me!
His lips tip into a ghost of a smile; his eyes dance as I look back at him.
He’s stunning. No man should be allowed to be this attractive.
Especially one that is no good for me, but isn’t that always the case?
He seems like he’s waiting for someone. Someone is squeezing on my heart – why does it hurt to think he's waiting for a girl? I shouldn’t be bothered.
I walk to him. “Hi Nathan, fancy seeing you here.” Very original, Kate. I smile politely at him, presuming he’s with a girl and waiting for her.
“I fucking love hearing you say my name.” He says, his eyes flash with something resembling lust.
I almost stop breathing at his comment, “Are you waiting for someone?”
He nods, “Yeah.. you.”
He must see the confusion on my face, but he carries on. “I saw you go in there. I’ve been waiting for you to come out so that I can talk to you.”