Chapter 14
He knew he had nearly lost her, failed his mission, and jeopardized his revenge.
Callum’s heart had jumped into his throat when Meria had jumped up and run out the cavern mouth.
She was so impetuous, she made his head spin!
One moment she was demanding he kiss her and demonstrate to her the joy of reaching fulfillment without the risk of falling pregnant with a bairn, and the next moment she was running pell-mell out the shelter with one of his saddlebags in her hand.
Damn! She must have lost the bag somewhere.
He would have to go looking for it in the morning once the mists lifted.
Any seasoned traveler could tell the next day would be warm with sunshine.
They could make good progress and reach the next crossroads inn before sundown the following day.
It looked like he might need to sleep across her bedchamber threshold again.
Callum dropped Meria beside the fire ring and watched as she drew her knees up to her chest while ducking her face down so she did not have to look at him.
“It seems as if I cannae let me guard drop for a moment while I am escorting ye to yer arranged marriage, lass,” he said in a weary voice as he slumped against the stones and began tying his boots on correctly.
“Why punish the one whose job it is to deliver ye to yer destination? Was it me who set up the contract? Is it me who has a tarnished reputation? Nay! So why punish me?”
Meria did not look up, just shook her head in a way that made her curls fly from side to side.
He sighed and relented. “As the master o’ me own destiny, lass, I can understand yer frustration. But why look to me to change the way yer fate is unfolding?”
The only sound that greeted his philosophical way of looking at things was a sob. Meria’s shoulders shook as she listened to his words. She found no consolation in them. He could not bear it anymore. “Have hope, lass, I beg ye. I believe MacTavish has nae long to live. Then ye will be free.”
“Ye’re just sayin’ that so I go along with ye…” she whispered.
He paced the cave like a prowling beast, clutching at his hair in frustration.
He could not tell her the truth, nor could he console her without losing the chance of revenge.
Yet the sound of her crying wrenched his heart to its core.
Whenever a maiden or woman had cried at him in the past, the noise had always irritated Callum, causing him to roll his eyes to the heavens and wish for the woman to disappear and take her megrims with her.
Why was he so compelled to wrap Meria in his arms and soothe away her tears with kisses?
She was an imp and a pest, a scourge on his formerly single-minded life and his ability to focus on the main objective.
Why did the thought of her marrying another man make his stomach curdle in such a strange way?
Meria might be foolhardy, but she spoke the truth.
He was an ogre for escorting her toward MacTavish land instead of away from it.
But she was the only way he could get near enough to Hamish MacTavish to kill him.
If he, Callum, played his cards right, the laird might even be so grateful as to extend him an invitation to the wedding itself.
Heavens knew he would most probably be required to be on guard duty during the ceremony at the very least. If Meria were lucky, she would be a widow before the beddan night.
What if it all went wrong? What if he failed and she was forced to remain Lady MacTavish for the rest of her life—which would not be long? She was headstrong, and MacTavish did not take kindly to opinionated women who valued their freedom.
“Please stop weeping, Meria!” He gripped his temples and stared up at his scarf tucked into the cave’s promontory crack.
“If anyone should be throwin’ a paleerie, it’s me!
” That made her sobs subside into hiccoughs of misery and finally into soft keening sniffs.
“That’s better, lass.” He went to sit beside her and pat her back.
“That wolf out there nearly had ye for supper, ye ken. What say we put this foolishness behind us an’ make sure we get to the next crossroads inn safely? Then we can discuss our next move.”
“Y-Ye mean ye won’ take me to MacTavish Castle?” she gave a doleful sniff, wiping her tears away with the back of her coat sleeve. He hated lying to her, but what choice did he have? He could not risk her running from him again. There were worse things than ravenous wolves out there…
He rubbed her arm and pulled her close to him.
“Lady, be brave. Remember those sparrows we saw eating the snails on the rocks as we rode up the mountain?” He felt her nod.
“Well, do ye think those birds cry themselves to sleep each night worryin’ about how many snails they will find tomorrow?
” She gave a little giggle and shook her head.
“There ye go. It’s because they don’ fuss over what tomorrow will bring, an’ nor should we because every new day is a new adventure. ”
He settled back against the hard stone behind them and felt her relax against his chest.
“When I was a wee lad an’ saw…bad things happenin’, it felt as if the sky were fallin’ in on me head.
The only thoughts I had were that I didnae want me life to continue in such a cruel, harsh world, but that was selfish o’ me because me mither did not want that for me at all.
Mither wanted for me to grow up an’ have a wife an’ bairns of me own, an’ just be happy.
So, can ye doubt yer mither does nae want the same for ye? ”
“And are ye? Happy, I mean?” Meria asked, raising her head to look at him as he answered her.
He thought for a long time as they watched the fire burn merrily in front of them. “I will be,” he eventually answered.
She was still as she contemplated his words. He thought she might have dozed off to sleep, but no.
“Cal? Tell me about the ways a man can love a woman. I ken ye cannae show me without breakin’ the allegiance ye swore, but can ye describe it to me?”
He lay down on the fur, placing one arm behind his head for support, and patted the space next to him. She snuggled beside him, draping one leg over his knees as she made herself comfortable.
“There are many ways a man and woman can pleasure one another, Meria. Have ye never run yer hands over yer body in the bathtub or the bed and felt the way it responds? Well, just like any touch, it feels better when someone else is doin’ it.
Maybe it’s the thrill of no’ knowing where it will go next.
Kisses or fingers, they are adequate substitutes for those secret parts of the body the opposite sex can offer for fulfillment.
Kisses can move down to the groin with such exquisite tenderness it can be hard to tell the difference.
Fingers might need some moisture from the mouth for a similar sensation. ”
“Hard to tell the difference from what?”
He shifted with embarrassment but was determined to make it up to her for backing out of his promise to make love to her. “If a woman wraps her mouth around a man’s private parts with a great amount of skill, it can feel the same as a woman’s private parts. Warm, wet, and undulating.”
“Hoots!” was all Meria could say.
He laughed. “Och aye, lass, a man is more than happy to accept such a substitute on most occasions. With the tongue moving around and the teeth unclenched to a great degree, it is pleasurable right to the end.”
Meria raised her hand and placed her finger in her mouth, then removed it. “I see,” she said, and he gave a deep laugh.
“Heaven help ye, lass, if yer husband’s manhood is the same size as yer finger! Ye must prepare to open yer mouth a wee bit wider than that!”
That made her join his laughter; it was a great relief to find humor in their strange situation.
“Callum…why would a man want to return the favor as ye say? It’s no’ like he will have a bairn out o’ it.”
He thought for a while, then replied, “A man does it for two reasons I can think of: to excite the lady beyond all reason and to ensure she does nae stray to other men to do it.”
The art of love was an interesting discussion for a man and woman to have. Never before had Callum given much thought to how he felt about what pleases a couple to do in bed. He warmed to his subject.
“It’s a tightrope dance, I can tell ye that, Meria.
Most men dinnae like it if the woman is too bossy or demanding in bed.
Then again, some ladies hate a certain touch or mannerism an’ are too shy to tell the man no’ to do it.
I could keep ye up all night with all the tragic tales I’ve heard soldiers recount around the campfire!
It might take a good bit o’ trial an’ error before a man and woman get their bedtime dance perfect, but when they do, it’s the closest we can get to experiencin’ paradise on Earth. ”
“D’ye think I can feel that with Laird MacTavish, Cal, this perfect dance o’ love?” she asked him, her voice slow and husky with approaching sleep.
He did not answer her. Callum MacNair had finally realized that he could not stand the thought of Meria lying in bed and making love with any other man except him.