Chapter 15 #2
‘Don’t worry about me. Stopping Lance is more important.’ There’s a steadiness to Bryn’s gaze that lets me know his priorities really are in that order.
I’m glad he’s here for this discussion, because I’ve learnt my lesson about taking steps to protect him without his input, yet no matter how unconcerned he seems I can’t dismiss the risk so readily.
This isn’t about how capable he is or isn’t; it’s about the realities of being linked to an undercover operative, and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him because of my carelessness.
Kit frowns at Bryn. “Can’t we get you released from the programme by filing for an exemption due to concerns for your safety?”
Bryn shrugs. ‘Maybe, but someone at Realm Enterprises will likely find an unconnected business to reassign me to, and frankly I need the guaranteed income for the next while.’
Ethan rubs his beard. “Actually, there’s another option I’ve been mulling over. Raj, what if we keep you as a permanent undercover officer? We can arrest Lance without you, and keep you working remotely when you’re not actively on assignment.”
My tiger bristles and I stiffen, my chest tightening to the point where I feel like I can’t breathe.
I don’t think I can do this again, be without my pack when they’re so close by.
Being permanently undercover would mean not moving into the manor as well, because I’d need to live in a place that fits my fake identity, and would likely mean far fewer visits here, if any.
I’d rarely see the people who mean the most to me.
Ethan’s asking too much, but how can I say no to my alpha? Especially when what he’s suggesting would be the safest way to protect my boyfriend.
My phone rings, obnoxiously loud in the silence. I pull it out to reject the call only to pause at the name on the screen. ‘I have to take this.’
‘Are you ok?’ Bryn asks, his lips pursed and his eyebrows drawn together.
‘I’m fine,’ I sign tightly before I shove my chair back and stride from the room, heading for the front doors as I swipe to answer. “Father. How are you?”
It’s been months since I last spoke to him.
Fortunately Mother did send me his new number, but every time I call it rings out and goes to voicemail.
Technically I don’t have to take this call—we’re in the middle of a meeting that’s extremely urgent and we’ve yet to finalise a solution—but I need to wrap my head around what Ethan’s suggesting before I can tell him I’ll do it.
Right now I’d refuse, and that’s not what Ethan needs from me.
“I’m well, Rajesh. Settling into the new embassy.”
I step out into the darkness, moving outside Ayo’s weather bubble until the cold air stings my cheeks. “That’s good.”
I wait for him to ask me how I am, but there’s only an awkward silence.
“Are you facing the usual diplomatic challenges?” I ask.
“Of course, Rajesh, but I am an extremely adept ambassador. I have been doing this job since before you were born. You do not need to concern yourself with such matters when you are off playing soldier.”
I close my eyes and pray for patience. “I’m not a soldier anymore, Father. I left more than a year ago.”
“You did? What are you doing now?”
I rub my brow. I’ve told him this more than once. “Ethan started a security company. We’re the BSG task force in Birchester, in the UK.”
“You are a police officer? Hmm.”
There’s a wealth of disappointment in that sound. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for not going into the same profession as him, never mind that I served my country for years.
“You’ll like Birchester, Father. It’s very multicultural.”
“Perhaps, but it will be some time before we can visit.”
I stiffen. “Father, you and Mother are coming here for the Festival of Light. I sent you the hotel reservation.”
“I think I would remember that, Rajesh. No, we are returning to India for the festival.”
I tip my head back and look up at the starry sky, blinking away the stinging in my eyes. I hold the phone away so he won’t hear the hitch in my breathing and I allow myself a few deep breaths before I return it to my ear.
“Do you want me to book a flight?”
“We can book our own flights, Rajesh. We are not incompetent.”
I stare out into the darkness of the manor estate, wondering if we’ll ever understand one another. “For me, Father. To visit the family with you for the festival.”
It’s less than three weeks away, but with Far Out Freight closing their premises in the UK at the end of the week, my time undercover there is coming to an end even if we haven’t concluded the investigation yet.
The others can manage without me for a few days if they have to.
Ethan knows I’ve been trying to spend the festival with my parents for years, so I don’t think he’ll object.
But my father’s silence speaks volumes.
“You don’t want me to visit?” I ask, struggling to keep the hurt out of my voice.
“We do not wish to burden your uncle. They are pressed for space as it is.”
I drop my chin to my chest, my heart hardening against the man who has never once shown he cares about me. “I understand. Enjoy the festival.”
I hang up without waiting for a reply and yell out my frustration into the night. I blink back irritating tears, because my parents don’t deserve them.
Maybe it’s time to stop hoping they’ll ever change.
For some unknown reason, I’ve been stuck feeling a sense of obligation to parents who couldn’t even be bothered to raise me themselves.
As a child I always felt like a commodity; someone to bring out at functions and show off, rather than someone they loved.
So why do they even matter to me? Should I really be willing to put aside a vital investigation that’s reaching a crucial stage for two people who don’t actually give a toss about me?
I pick up Jet’s scent shortly before he reaches me. He stands silently beside me and presses his shoulder to mine. Even with the bite of cold night air and his surprisingly soothing presence, it still takes me a few minutes to fully calm down.
Sod it. I’m done trying to be the dutiful son. If my parents bother to contact me in the future, I’ll consider whether I want to talk to them then. For now, I have other people who deserve my time and affection far more.
“Thanks,” I say, pressing more firmly against Jet.
“Sure,” he says quietly. “Want to talk about it?”
I huff. “Not really. It’s just my parents being their usual selves.”
“Ah, so it’s not only Ethan being an idiot.” He hesitates for a moment, then nudges me. “You know how I’ve got five incredibly annoying older sisters?” At my nod, he continues. “You’re like the brother I never had.”
I swallow around the sudden lump in my throat. I hesitate, then grab him in a hug and mumble into his shoulder. “Same.”
He grips me tightly for a few seconds before patting my back. “If you ever need a mum hug, let me know and I’ll get my parents to visit for a weekend. You know my mum will squeeze the stuffing out of you at any opportunity.”
“Thanks.” I let him go, feeling awkward and more than a little overwhelmed.
I suspect he can tell, because he wiggles his eyebrows. “Want to shift and race around the lake? I bet I can make it back here first.”
I manage a flicker of a smile. “Tempting, but we should get back in there.”
“Probably. Ooh, if we’re quick, we might catch the fight.”
I jerk. “What fight?”
He grins. “Between Ethan and Bryn. Your dragon texted Ethan, and whatever he said, Ethan was not happy.”
I rush past him, heading for the front doors. “You couldn’t have told me that sooner?”
Before Jet can reply, Bryn appears at the door to the manor, his body covered in scales and his eyes a matching crimson.
“Uh oh,” Jet says, sounding delighted rather than worried. “I’d better go check if Ethan’s still alive.”
‘What’s happened?’ I ask Bryn as we meet at the bottom of the front steps and Jet heads inside.
Bryn can’t sign when he’s partially shifted like this, and he responds by tugging me into his arms. He’s tense all over and there’s a deep rumbling coming from his chest.
Since a hug from my boyfriend is exactly what I need right now anyway, I bury my face in the crook of his neck and inhale his scent while I wait for him to calm down.
It’s familiar and comforting, like toasted marshmallows over a campfire, and succeeds in soothing the last of the ache in my chest after that phone call.
I lick the nearest scale, unable to resist tasting him.
He shivers and squeezes me tighter as his scales retract and the rumbling stops. I press a kiss to his neck but don’t take it further. I simply soak up the possessive way he holds me.
One of my favourite things about him is that he’s never hidden the intensity of how much he wants to be with me. After a lifetime of my parents never caring, never showing any indication of loving me at all, I need that extra reassurance.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve been so desperate to find my mate, and why I was willing to rush into initiating a bond with Bryn.
I’ve seen how much finding Ayo has calmed Ethan down and given him a sense of security he’s never had, despite having the rest of us around him for years now.
I wanted that too. That certainty that I’d have a person of my own who’d never leave me, who’d never avoid my calls or make me their lowest priority.
Whether Bryn is my fated mate or not, he never fails to make me feel special.
Eventually we part enough to sign. ‘What did your father have to say?’ Bryn asks, his brow furrowed.
I huff out a breath. ‘They’re going to visit my uncle in India for the festival, and I’m not invited.’
‘Shit, treasure. I’m sorry they’ve decided that, although to be honest your parents seem like right selfish arseholes.’
I snort, a wry twist to my lips. ‘You’re not wrong. Anyway, Jet offered to lend me his mum whenever I need a parent, so I’m okay.’
Bryn’s tension eases. ‘What’s she like?’
‘Jet’s mum?’ I can’t help my smile. ‘She’s a happy woman who adores everyone, and feeding people is her love language. I gain several pounds every time I visit.’
His smile is soft. ‘She seems amazing.’
‘She is; you’ll find out for yourself when you meet her. Anyway, what happened between you and Ethan?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Bryn.’
His lips twitch. ‘Fine, I was feeling overprotective because he upset you, but it’s all good. No broken windows or anything.’
I eye him dubiously, but that seems to be all I’m going to get. Perhaps it’s best we go back inside and I can see for myself.
Besides, we need to get back to the meeting to finalise the plan. This investigation has gone on long enough.