Chapter 15 #2
I took a deep breath and told him everything about Sam’s death and my fears of publishing in what amounted to one long run-on sentence, not unlike how Lucy told stories as a preschooler: “And then, and then, and then . . .” When I finally stopped to take a breath, I realized I’d been fixated on Max’s clean and stylish New Balance sneakers the whole time.
With substantial effort, I looked up. And then I hit him with the knockout punch: “I wrote Love You to Mars and Back with the tiniest, most irrational part of me hoping it might manifest Sam’s return.
The only reason the main character was an astronaut instead of a tennis player like Sam was because my agent insisted on it.
But instead of Sam, I got you: a real, live astronaut, and an amazing guy.
And from the first time we met, I’ve been trying not to feel guilty about my growing feelings for you. ”
Max shifted his weight while staring at me for a few seconds. I couldn’t tell if he was processing or preparing to bolt like an Olympic sprinter off the blocks.
“I’m so sorry I hid all this from you.” I grabbed his arm and continued blabbing.
“I know it sounds completely batshit. Which is why I didn’t want to tell you if this wasn’t going to be a real thing between us.
But now I care about you too much not to be honest. At this point, I’m maybe five percent sure I caused you to walk into my life by publishing a love story about a writer and an astronaut.
And I’d one hundred percent understand if you walked away right now, because, objectively speaking, you absolutely should.
Any sane person would. But I hope you won’t, because I really do like you and I’d like to keep getting to know you. ”
He flicked a glance at his arm, which I was, embarrassingly, still hanging on to. Instantly, I dropped my hand to my side. “Can I say something now?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah,” I replied, praying it wasn’t going to be When did you first know you were insane?
Instead, Max turned the book over in his hands.
He looked into my eyes with such earnestness that I swore I could feel a gravitational pull between our retinas.
“Everyone has things in their past that are difficult to talk about. Relationships take time. Trust takes time. I’m grateful you felt you could open up to me.
I don’t think you’re batshit. You’ve just had some weird luck.
If I could tell you all the amazing things I’ve witnessed firsthand in the cosmos, you would know that a few odd coincidences are not nearly enough to scare me off. ”
“Really?” I was incredulous.
“Well, there is one more thing. No wait—two.”
I held my breath.
“First, to confirm, you’re not, um, planning to write a sequel where the astronaut actually dies on his next mission?”
“Nope. Definitely not. No sequels. I promise.”
“That’s good news,” he said, looking visibly relieved. “Moving on to number two.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small black jewelry bag and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” Tentatively, I looked at him.
“I was planning to give you this after dinner, but this feels like the right time.” He gave me a shy smile.
I fished inside the bag and found a delicate necklace with a rose quartz pendant.
It wasn’t fancy, but it was artful and delicate and felt perfectly appropriate to the early stages of a relationship.
I had the fleeting sense I’d seen the design before, but whether it was a trendy purchase or not, the gesture was incredibly sweet.
I was both moved and filled with relief.
I beamed up at him, blinking back tears.
“It’s perfect. I love it. Would you mind clasping it for me? ”
“My pleasure.” He took it from my hands and gently spun me around. I lifted up my heavy curls. His long fingers grazed the nape of my neck and I shivered, which caused him to emit a sound best described as a yearning groan. “There.”
Without thinking, I turned back around and launched myself into his chest. We kissed, and then, when I was about to shimmy up him like he was a CrossFit rope, he pulled back.
“Ugh, you’re killing me, Thea. I know we’re not in the children’s section anymore, but I’m pretty sure we’re also not in the X-rated section. ”
“Right. Right,” I repeated, straightening my shirt.
My face was burning up, I was panting, the tendrils of my hair were damp along my hairline, and all I wanted to do was drag Max to the nearest family restroom and make him take me against the wall.
Heck, I’d settle for being pressed up against the diaper-changing station.
“Pizza?” he said with a rueful smile. He had the decency to look as deflated by the suggestion as I felt. But it really was a blessing that one of us had a shred of self-control. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.
“Pizza,” I said with a nod. “Pete’s a Pizza.”
“Huh?” he said.
“I said Pete’s a Pizza. Not pizza, pizza. It’s a book Lucy likes about a boy named Pete who likes pizza.” I blushed. Such a dork.
He laughed as he put an arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the exit. As we walked out of the Barnes & Noble toward La Piazza, I consoled myself that at least we were on our way to satisfying one type of carnal desire.