Chapter 17
Rebecca had also taught me the importance of getting in front of a PR crisis, so I texted Max a link to the article as soon as Lucy and I stepped back inside.
I needed to make sure he heard about it first from me.
The only saving grace was that I hadn’t mentioned him by name in the podcast. I got a little carried away in this interview. Hope it doesn’t freak you out, I wrote.
He texted back a few minutes later: I think it’s great. And hopefully it’ll get your book noticed by more people. BTW I loved it. And then he added: And for the record, the only thing that freaks me out is the idea of not seeing you again now that Lucy’s back.
Don’t worry, I texted back. Things may be a bit more complicated but we’ll still see each other.
Promise. I considered inviting him to dinner with the Packers right then, but it was an awkward ask and I needed more time to craft my words.
Also, the busy day ahead required all my mental energy.
Not only did I have to drive Lucy to her first morning of summer day camp, but it was also my first day back in the office after my two-week “vacation” to launch the book.
Between making lunches, tending to the dog, coaxing a tired five-year-old out of her jammies and off to camp, and avoiding Rebecca at the office, it was indeed an exhausting day filled with tears and tantrums—and not all of them were Lucy’s.
The jet lag worked in my favor after an early dinner.
Like most every night of Lucy’s life, we snuggled into her bed to read, only tonight she was sound asleep after three pages of Junie B.
Jones. I slipped out of her bedroom and grabbed my phone from the kitchen.
Like a computer processing in the background, my mind had been churning through the day, attempting to craft the perfect text to invite Max to dinner: Would you have dinner with me and my fatherless daughter at my dead husband’s childhood home while submitting to an inquisition with two people who are virtually guaranteed to dislike you?
Nope. It didn’t quite have that “come hither” appeal.
Finally, I surrendered. In my best imitation of a functional grown-up, rather than hiding behind a text exchange, I called him.
Without preamble, I launched in: “Would you like to join Lucy and me for dinner at my in-laws’ house Friday night?
They really want to meet you after that dumb article, and it would help smooth out their hurt feelings over the move, which I told them about this morning and it didn’t go well, and I know it’s a big ask and we haven’t been seeing each other that long, and I’m not sure there’s such a thing as long enough before you meet the parents of your girlfriend’s late husband so I totally get if you want to say no.
” I took a deep breath and waited for his answer.
“Are you done?” Max asked in his soothing voice.
“Yes, that’s everything I wanted to say.”
“Great. I’d be happy to join you,” Max said. “Just so you know, parents love me.”
“I bet they do.” I was so relieved that I collapsed on my bed.
“Also, did you just say you’re my girlfriend?”
“Sorry, I guess that slipped out.”
“So you’re not my girlfriend?” Max sounded disappointed.
“Do you want me to be?”
“Hell yes, I want you to be my girlfriend.” He laughed nervously. “More than anything.”
“OK then, yes, I will be your girlfriend.” My insides liquefied as I said those words for only the second time in my life. This was not the time to dwell, though. “Can we go back to my in-laws for a second? It’s pretty complicated. They might not love you. They could actually hate you.”
“If they did, would that change how you felt about me?”
“At this moment, it might make me love you more,” I blurted.
“Thea,” he said, his voice low and husky, “did you just say you love me?”
“Come on, you know what I mean.”
“I’m just teasing,” he said. “But I hope it might be true someday.”
A smile burst onto my face, making me thankful this wasn’t a video call. I cleared my throat. “So you’ll definitely come to dinner? You’re sure about this?”
“Absolutely. No hesitation. I will be there on time, with a nice bottle of wine, fresh flowers already in a vase, and all my charm.”
“Wow, you are good,” I said. “I will be there with my darling daughter and not an ounce of charm, so you can cover for me.” And hopefully Frannie would be there, too. I was going to need a buffer in the worst way. Also, the fact he hadn’t yet met Frannie had been needling me.
“It would be my pleasure. Consider it done. But seriously, I can’t wait to meet Lucy.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet her, too. Will I see you before Friday?”
“Unfortunately, it’s shaping up to be a super-busy week, but text me the time and address and I’ll be there.”
“That’s cool. I’ve got a ton of packing to do this week, but I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, Thea. Sleep tight.”
As I tried to fall asleep, I replayed our conversation multiple times until I convinced myself my attempts to brush off that careless comment about love had been successful.
Yes, my feelings for him were real, but there would be plenty of time for potential labels after next weekend, when Lucy and I would be living an independent life with all the privacy that comes from escaping a network of security cameras.
Was I falling in love with Max? That was a question I couldn’t yet answer.
We’d been having so much fun, and the attraction was undeniable.
But it was early days, and there was still so much I didn’t know about him.
I knew he was thirty-four, but I didn’t know his birthday.
I knew he lived in Venice with roommates, which was frankly a little unusual at his age.
Had he ever lived on his own? I knew he was from Seattle.
Was he planning to stay in LA long term?
Clearly there were some gaps in my knowledge, and I would need to fill them in and hope there would be no unwelcome surprises.
But, to quote my math-obsessed mom, learning the details of Max’s life was only one side of the equation.
The other side was all about me, specifically whether I could make the emotional shift necessary to see Max as 100 percent his own person.
Maybe Rebecca was onto something with this dinner.
Up until now, there had been excellent reasons to keep Max from meeting Lucy and the Packers.
While introducing him to the most important people in my life might be awkward and even jarring, it was also a critical step to figuring out if I could fully open myself up to a relationship with him.
Without their stamp of approval—or at least acceptance—how would a future together even work?
But if they could see for themselves what I saw in Max, and how much he cared about me, my craving for independence would make more sense. This was not the future any of us expected when Sam and I got married, but we were all adults and life happens.
Suddenly, between dinner and our imminent move, this upcoming weekend seemed full of possibilities.
I’d asserted myself with Rebecca and William, refusing to either back down about the move or bow to their concerns about a new boyfriend.
I smiled, thinking of how impressed Frannie would be by my newly excavated backbone.
As for Max, who knew what the future might hold?
But with the trajectory of my personal life on the upswing, I could dare to dream.