Thirty-Two Vanessa
Vanessa: I’ll be the judge of that. I’ll pick you up in half an hour, I wrote back, my decision to do nothing of the sort having been made long before her message.
Evelyn: Wait, I’m not going to be ready that soon. I’ll be at your house in an hour.
My place was half an hour from hers. Whether I drove to her or she drove to me, she'd have the same half hour to prepare before setting off. Her reasoning seemed illogical—either way the time until she arrived at my place amounted to an hour.
Vanessa: I’m still at the office, and it’s no inconvenience for me to stay a bit longer. Your place is on the way.Evelyn: An hour?Vanessa: Yes.
There were many things that could have upset her. Another incident with her mother was possible, but given the timing, a different sort of rejection seemed more likely.
Knowing Evelyn would be my priority for the rest of the evening, I attempted to complete a few tasks before leaving. But moderately unsettled myself by her distress, I ended up calling my sister instead. As insufferable as she could be, I’d promised to do better at keeping in touch.
“Nessie, you called!” she exclaimed, followed by a slightly awkward laugh.
“You sound eccentric. Are you on something?” I asked sternly. Considering her proclivities, it wouldn’t have surprised me.
“I was before you called, actually. So as much as I love you, I don’t want to keep them waiting.”
Her habit of flaunting her sexuality was nothing new. She consistently seemed to enjoy my disapproval.
“I am your sister, Elizabeth. I did not need to know that—or about them. It’s abhorrent.”
“Whatever,” she scoffed. I could practically picture her flipping her blonde hair.
“Why did you call? More clothing to dress one of your top-secret girls in?”
“I for one, am beyond playing musical chairs or revolving doors with my personal life. Commitment, privacy, and monogamy are wonderful concepts. I’d highly recommend them.”
“For your information, I do have a committed girlfriend—our relationship is just open. Her name’s Carmilla and you’ll meet her at my New Year’s party. Maybe consider bringing yours instead of hiding her away.”
“I’ll consider it. Now get back to your semi-committed polyamorous nonsense.”
“I appreciate your support, but there’s absolutely zero commitment with either of these girls.”
I let out a condemnatory sigh, prompting her to chuckle.
“I’m hanging up. Goodbye, Elizabeth. I’ll see you then.”
“Stop keeping your girlfriend a secret and bring her along—”
I ended the call. She’d been enough of a distraction, and I needed to go get Evelyn.
Even after the extra half hour, eyes the shade of aquamarine didn't lose the glossy pink tint they acquired from crying.
"Sweetheart," I said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "What are you in the mood for? We can cook anything you'd like while we talk." I gestured towards the cookbook left out on my counter, not that she ever used recipes.
"Nessa”—her voice wavered slightly as she fought to get her way without being too assertive—"you said you wanted to punish me. Shouldn't you do that first?"
I sighed softly, "Evelyn, those were your words, not mine. And it's my decision to make, not yours."
"Let's order takeout later instead," she suggested, a hint of desperation in her tone. "I just want you to take me upstairs now, please."
"Honey," I replied gently, crossing the kitchen to stand beside her. "I'm not punishing you right now." I tilted my head, concerned with her persistent eagerness.
"Then please," she pleaded, her eyes searching mine, "can we do some impact play regardless? I need it right now."
"No. No you do not”—I shook my head softly—"That's quite the opposite of what you need. I'd rather you talk to me instead."
"Vanessa," her voice cracked, "please listen to me right now."
"I'm not comfortable engaging in those activities with you when you're using them as a coping mechanism." I shook my head again, attempting to shake off the discomfort I felt. "I do not think it's healthy, so I’m not going to be encouraging it."
"Seriously?" Her voice rose in disbelief. "You're telling me you won't help me after I come here?"
My jaw clenched as I took a deep breath, trying to steady my own emotions, waiting for her to take that back. I was not going to be pressured into anything.
Within a second, her lower lip trembled. "That came out wrong," she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. "Everything is just so wrong."
"Evelyn, I want to help you, but our BDSM scenes cannot be your sole method of blowing off steam. That's not what this or I am to you and implying such is egregiously inconsiderate to me."
Despite her evident struggles, I would not abandon my own boundaries to comfort her. Her pain stirred every instinct I had to help but compassion offered at the expense of my own well-being would ultimately serve neither of us.
"I know, I'm sorry. I don't— today's just—Wait, I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm sorry."
"Explaining what's been troubling your mind to give me context while still taking accountability is not making excuses, it's relevant.
" I rarely held this opinion and usually didn't take it well if anyone added anything after 'I'm sorry,’ believing it would diminish the value of their apology. But she was not just the flustered girl who’d bumped into me her first day anymore.
"It's about the job, it didn't work out.” A single tear slid down her cheek as she blinked back the rest.
"Oh, honey," I whispered, wiping the stray tear away and opening my arms for her to step into. She leaned against me, hopefully finding solace. I held her tight, rubbing slow circles over her back while I listened.
"I don't know what I did wrong, I feel like a failure. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, I should have—" her voice trembled, betraying the weight of her words.
I gripped her shoulders firmly, pulling her back to look up at me.
"Evelyn, you're not a failure,” I cut her off, speaking deliberately. “What a company is looking for has nothing to do with you." As much as I wanted her to let out her feelings, she needed to be taken out of her head and away from the self-destructive thoughts that had been planted there.
"Of course it does," she sniffled looking down. Not in the submission I adored, but in shame.
"Evelyn, I've been a part of far more hiring process than you have so you're going to listen to me.” I gripped her jaw firmly, giving into my need to grasp control over the situation.
“When you had a say in replacing Jane, why did I heavily support your choice of hiring the second woman?
" I lifted her jaw as I spoke, forcing her to keep her head up.
"Um." The wheels in her mind turned as she strained to recall our conversation from months prior. "She had something in common with successful people you had previously hired. Was it the company they came from?"
"My smart girl. Now tell me, why didn't I let you hire the first man?"
"Because he went to a college that produced several other employees you had a bad history with," she monotoned.
I eased up my grip on her jaw and raised a brow signaling for her to process the connection.
"In your words, ineffective and utterly useless," she added, rather pleased with her impression of me.
I narrowed my eyes, squeezing her jaw more firmly. I was glad to see that the glint in her eyes had returned a bit, regardless of the tone she was using with me.
"My college was an Ivy League, so it looks like you work for a shitty—"
I pressed my forefinger against her lips before she could finish the sentence. "Evelyn, just stop. Now instead put your mouth to good use and tell me why the university wouldn't want to hire you based on their past hires."
As I removed my finger her lips formed into a silent O-shape. "I'm young, the new professor is young."
"Exactly. Don't let this single setback dampen your resolve, sweetheart."
"Did you know?" She frowned slightly.
"I knew it would tamper with your odds, but there was no way to know for sure. I really am sorry, sweetheart. I know this was something you were hoping for."
"I was, but maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe I'm not meant for it and should just be grateful I have a job at all,” she shrugged.
I pursed my lips in distaste for that mindset and whoever gave it to her. "Do not say that. Keep working towards what you want. Don’t settle, ever. There are too many doors you've unlocked just to leave them all open."
"Maybe. I'll think about it. Can we cook something now?" “Maybe. I’ll think about it. Can we cook something now?” Her voice carried a fragile hope, and I caught the way she was reaching for a lighter topic.
I nodded, dropping the subject at once and letting her guide the mood to be more lighthearted. God knew she already had enough people trying to tamper with her career choices.
"Of course, what are you thinking for tonight?" On a weeknight, I usually carried a cluster of professional obligations that competed for my attention. It wasn’t that they disappeared so much as they lost priority the moment I noticed how unsettled she was in the conference room.
"You pick, Nessa. My mind is shot. Just nothing too time consuming. I'm exhausted and I'm guessing you still have work to get done."
"Hmm, alright, sweetheart, but don't worry about that.
" I flipped through the pages of the book before spotting a recipe to make miniature pizzas from scratch.
They seemed like the cozy meal we could both enjoy after her rough day.
It would not take long and Evelyn appreciated a variety of artisan cheeses.
Finishing off our fresh pizzas layered in several vegetables and aged cheeses, I could sense a shift in Evelyn's demeanor. The tension she'd carried earlier had softened around the edges, replaced by a calmer exhaustion.
We cleared the dishes together and drifted through the rest of our evening routine. I handed her a spare toothbrush to keep at my place before we took our places side by side at the bathroom sink, brushing our teeth. Every so often our eyes met in the mirror, drawing a small smile from one of us.
Afterward, she followed me through my skincare routine, applying each product only a moment after I did. Watching her mirror my movements was strangely endearing. There was something comforting about the ordinariness of it all.
Hand in hand, we returned to the bedroom, where she sank into the Tempur-Pedic pillows and fine silk sheets, letting out a sigh of relief. We lay side by side in a comfortable silence for a few minutes just staring at the ceiling and enjoying each other's presence.
After a bit she turned to face me, mouthing a silent ‘thank you.’
I responded in turn by blowing her a kiss.
Her gaze lingered on my lips before drifting to my exposed collarbones and the neckline of my shirt. A moment later, she lifted her eyes to meet mine once more.
Understanding what she wanted and now comfortable granting her request, I leaned forward connecting our lips in a tender kiss.
With a soft touch, I lifted her hands, guiding them down the curves of my body, inviting her to explore every inch of my skin.
She grasped at my hip pulling me closer as I cherished every part of her.
"Let me make you feel good." My voice was a breathy whisper as I pulled her impossibly closer.
Everything was soft and slow, a different type of intimate as we appreciated and savored each other. This was how she needed to be loved right now.
I slid down her panties with practiced ease as she helped me undo each painstakingly tedious button on my satin blouse.
My hands trailed down her silky skin, settling one between her thighs as the other continued to wander, giving every inch of her attention.
I coaxed sweet moan after moan out of her, bringing her to the depths of pleasures in the most tender of ways.
She didn't pull away after, instead taking advantage of having slipped off every last piece of clothing on my body. She looked up at me with her enchanting blue eyes.
Meeting her eyes, I gave a small nod, silently encouraging her to continue.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of her lips before her attention drifted back to me.
She lowered herself down, resting her head between my thighs, having already wandered the top half of my body to her liking.
The kisses she placed on each of my inner thighs gradually became more open mouthed until she began to suck on the skin.
I lowered my hand, giving her choker a light pull, a reminder.
She looked up, pleading with her eyes. But I want to, she tried to express with her mouth still attached to my skin.
No.
She glanced up between me and my thighs furrowing her brows. But no one will see it.
I don’t care.
Please?
“One,” I whispered, watching a wide smile take over her face as she began to suck with more force.
After a few seconds she pulled back, clearly proud of the mark she left. She looked up at me with a cocky grin, before sticking out her tongue, making a show out of lowering it on me.
She slithered her hands up my thighs, cupping my ass and pushing me against her, squeezing it harder until I caught on.
“Okay, baby. Relax, love. I understand.” She looked up at me with eager eyes. “Yes, I’ll ride your face, Evelyn,” I chuckled, ruffling her hair and doing just that.
After a few minutes, she placed a final kiss on her small pinkish mark before moving back up my body, her grin never faltering.
We lay there, her intertwined in my arms as I played with her hair. I gently raked my fingers through, feeling the soft curly strands sliding between my fingertips.
"Nessa, I'm going to keep applying," she whispered into the calm atmosphere.