Chapter 14 Amy
I keep my eyes locked on the garage wall, staring straight ahead as I jump rope on the gravel.
It’s freezing out here. The whiny weather woman swears there’s a chance of snow in the next few days, but I’ve been pumping so hard I can barely feel the cold.
Workout or no workout, I’m boiling with rage, anyhow.
That limp-dicked jerk gave me the world’s shittiest one-night-stand brush-off I’ve ever heard.
It was bad enough he even tried to bring it up.
But the whole “conversation”? That was bad.
Like, seriously bad. I should get my ass down to campus and shove a can of Fix-a-Flat down his throat.
Then I could strap his ankles to my wheels and drag him through the streets, until…
I jump harder, faster, trying desperately to outskip my rage. I should be counting my reps, but my mind is whirring.
One, two, three, break your little knee.
Four, five, six, snap your bones like sticks.
Seven, eight, nine, make you scream and whine.
Ten, eleven, twelve, like a little girl…
There’s something more insidious bubbling away under all that anger, though—doubt.
Flip-flopping back and forth like this isn’t something I’m used to.
My usual MO is to just get shit done, and see how it pans out, but now Lewis is messing with my head, and I’ve got a million unanswered questions to deal with.
Was I a bad lay? Is that why he wanted to make sure I knew it wouldn’t happen again?
That’d surprise me, but who knows? I was so, so into it, I guess there’s a chance I maybe took more than I gave.
I have no clue anymore. But he took control, didn’t he? And it felt so good. He…
Shit—just listen to yourself!
This whole situation is really, really screwing with me.
I’ve lost count of the number of guys I’ve slept with, and I’ve never felt confused the way I do now. He’s also the only guy who’s ever given me the “maybe see you around sometime” talk. What is going on?
I toss my rope to the ground and do a few push-ups, until my sister calls out from the backyard.
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
“What?”
“I know you—when you work out like this, it’s for someone.”
I roll onto my back, panting. “Some guy from college.”
“Some cute guy?”
“Uh, sure, Big Mamma!”
“You never talk guys to me.”
I glance at her. “Seriously? You want your baby sister to tell you about all the dicks she—”
She clamps her hands over her ears. “Spare me the details!”
I count to ten before launching into a set of crunches, ignoring the way Raven is just standing over me, stroking her tummy.
“I’m kinda jealous of your abs…”
“Just you wait. In a few months’ time, I’ll be helping you work off that barbecue-sauce belly…”
I stare up into her face, watching her bite her lip.
I know this girl by heart. She isn’t here to watch me work out.
Something’s on her mind, and she’s been dancing around it since I got back from Brooklyn two days ago.
I was surprised she didn’t make a lunge for me—try to force an explanation out of me. Something feels wrong, and I’m on edge.
“Why’d you go to New York on Thursday?”
Knew it.
I would’ve loved to just head to Brooklyn low-key, but with a stalker sister like mine, there was no way that was happening. I don’t have any friends I could have crashed with, either. The only thing I had was a little time to bring RJ up to speed with my plan.
“Like Ronny told you—I went to pick up a car with one of his rich clients.”
She lets out a bark of laughter. “Because you think I trust RJ?”
“Why not?” I shrug. “He’s always been there for us since Dad died.”
“In a way.” She nods slowly. “Why didn’t he just go himself, though? I’m guessing you missed classes… You’re not gonna get kicked out again, are you?”
“No, Raven. I’m not gonna get kicked out.” I sigh. “Just trying to help us earn a living, that’s all. Plus, I didn’t miss anything. It was exam week—I left town as soon as I finished my last one. And I did a great job on them, by the way,” I add.
She nods, and I can tell she’s still not fully reassured.
“You’d tell me if you went to see Mom, wouldn’t you?”
I freeze. So that’s what she’s been thinking! I fall back. It didn’t even occur to me to swing by the house when I was up there. There’s not a single thing I miss about home, except for my dad. And I won’t be seeing him there again.
“What makes you think I’d want to step foot inside that house?”
She shrugs. “Charlotte and I aren’t welcome there, but you’re good.”
“This is my home. If I’d wanted to stay there with Mom and George, I would’ve done it. So stop beating yourself up about it all. I’m here because I want to be—not because I’m being made to.”
“I can make you do stuff. Sometimes.”
I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “You keep telling yourself that.”
She’s a pain in the ass most of the time, but I know how guilty she feels about falling in love with Charlotte—who just happens to be our stepdad’s daughter.
Which makes her my stepsister-in-law, as I like to remind them from time to time.
It drives them crazy, and that’s how I like it.
Then baby Joey arrived, which added yet more fuel to what was already one hell of a fire.
“Sometimes, I think…” She pauses, gnawing on her lip.
“Just shut the hell up before your hormones make you say something you regret. You and Charlotte did nothing wrong. Nothing—okay? I decided to leave home all by myself, like a big girl.”
When Charlotte and Raven got thrown out by Mom and her new husband, I stuck around.
I kind of had to—I was fifteen and still in high school, it’s not like I had a choice.
But a year later, and my home life was pure hell.
I couldn’t stand how Mom was acting anymore, so I moved into the tiny apartment my sister shared with her girlfriend and my nephew.
Mom didn’t even try to stop me from leaving.
Ever since she hooked up with George, she’s like a whole other person.
He’s the most uptight, judgiest son-of-a-bitch you ever met, and my mom fell into step overnight.
She was so different, back when she was with Dad…
“Feeling better now?” I’m hoping I’ve done enough to satisfy Raven’s curiosity.
“Hmm.” She glances at me warily. “I’m gonna go pick up some groceries with Charlotte and Joey. Wanna come?”
“I need to shower, then I should start working on my presentation for class.”
Damn, girl—where’d that come from?
“Ooh, my little straight-A student! I’m super excited for when you graduate, it’ll be the biggest ‘fuck you’ to Mom.”
“That’s exactly what I am, Raven.” I nod sagely. “A straight-A student. You go treat yourself to some barbecue sauce. There’s nothing to see here.”
She turns back to the stairwell and freezes.
“Just to give you a heads-up… I told RJ that if he ever sends you off on a job like that again, I plan on burning down his garage, car, and body—in that exact order.”
I scramble to my feet, laughing despite myself.
“That’s Hitman talk.”
Before she leaves, Raven blows me a kiss.
I decide to extend my workout by another hour—anything to shut up my brain. I really need to stop ruminating over my mom as well as Conley’s lame-ass post-fuck speech.
I’m just stretching my hamstrings when I hear tires crunching over the gravel—probably Raven back from stocking up, or RJ swinging by to work on a car.
I keep my eyes on the ground, focusing on my breathing, but as the purr of the engine grows louder, my stomach flip-flops.
I recognize that sound without even looking up.
Jesus… Just when I was starting to get it under control…
Lewis pulls up beside me and jumps out of the car, swinging the door shut and leaning against the hood. He stands there, all six-foot-something of him, looking at me in silence. Is the guy expecting balloons or confetti or champagne, or something? Because if so, he could be waiting a while.
“Hey, Amy.”
Oh my God… I love it when he says my name.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“What’re you doing here?”
I was aiming for curt. Crisp. But my mouth didn’t get the memo, and I end up sounding half pissed, half nervous instead.
Fuck!
“I tried calling,” he starts. “You didn’t answer.”
“I have no idea where my phone is.”
I bend over, reaching my hands to the ground, well aware that Lewis now has an amazing view of my ass. He falls quiet, and I’m hoping he’s enjoying what he’s seeing.
When he clears his throat, I straighten back to him.
“What do you want?” I say, eyeing him. “I should warn you—I’m in a pretty shitty mood today.”
“Relax, Firebird. I’ve got something for you.”
I watch as he snakes a hand through his car window and pulls out a large black paper bag, and my heart skips a beat. He hands it to me, but I can’t think straight.
He shakes it at me insistently. “This is for you.”
I stand there with my mouth hanging open, my arms dangling by my sides, frozen in place. My mind has suddenly gone completely blank.
“This is the part where you give me this huge smile and say—‘Oh my God, Lewis! That is so incredibly sweet of you!’ ”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“If the smiling is a step too far, feel free to leave it out.”
“How about the ‘sweet’ thing?”
“And the ‘sweet’ thing.” He grins at me. “Come on—take it already! I know you’re getting hard for this.”
“Oh, please.”
“Don’t act all suspicious. I was at the mall, looking for something for Nancy…”
Who the hell is this Nancy bitch?
I must look really confused, or like I want to punch someone.
“Nancy is Adam’s mom,” he explains. “The guy with the Bel Air. Anyway, while I was there, I thought it would be a good time to pick up a little something to say thank you for my car.”
“Didn’t you already thank me?”
You know—right before you gave me your “let’s not have sex ever again” talk?
“I wanted to show you I meant it. Come on, Amy! Stop looking at it like it’s the world’s smallest dick—just take it!”
“The world’s smallest… What is wrong with you?”