Chapter 15 Lewis #2
FIREBIRD: “OK” is always a solid reply. Stop being a little bitch, Conley.
LEWIS: I’m your boss, lady.
FIREBIRD: My boss bitch.
I know she’s messing with me, but there’s something about her turn of phrase that’s kind of sexy…
I’m instantly hard.
I need to shut this down before things start spinning out of control.
LEWIS: Be here at seven.
FIREBIRD: I’ll try to be on time.
I’m starting to speak fluent Hitman, because I immediately sense that what she’s really saying is “There’s no way you’re telling me what time to show up.” Thank fuck I actually preempted this—we told the others to get here for eight.
LEWIS: Make sure you wear my Christmas gift!
FIREBIRD: Oh, I have *just* the dress for it.
LEWIS: That’s great. Since I didn’t get any feedback, I was starting to worry you didn’t like it.
FIREBIRD: I was planning on surprising you…
LEWIS: Can’t wait!
I know she probably won’t wear it—but if I troll her hard enough, she might put it on, just for the challenge factor.
LEWIS: I need to go check on the food. Don’t screw this up, Firebird. Be here at seven.
FIREBIRD: OK.
Ending as she started, I see. I shake my head.
I’m going to need to work on that with her.
I really want to fire off another line—make sure I get the last word.
But the guys have already called me over three times now, and I need to go help them lay things out for the party.
I drag my ass out of bed and head into the living room.
Amy can wait—in just a few hours, she’ll be on my turf.
And I definitely plan on using that to my advantage.
LOIS’S brOTHER AND AMELIA HAVE just arrived, and now I remember just how much I like Jeff—especially now that he’s pretty much the last member of our shrinking singles’ club.
“Jeffrey, my dear boy!” I boom in my best impression of an English gent.
“How the devil are you?” he shoots back, and we grin at each other. “Tell me you invited girls…”
“How could we not?”
“Thank God you’re here, man. I caught Lane doing my sister’s toenails the other day—so fucked up, I’m telling you!”
“That’s what I keep saying, but it’s like nobody gets it.” I nod. “You’re my last hope, dude. Don’t let me down.”
“I’ve got this.”
He shakes his head at me sadly as he’s summoned into the kitchen, and I turn my attention back to the trays Carrie is handing me.
This is the first time we’ve done this at our place, and we’re expecting a crowd.
People will do the usual—drifting between all the different parties that are happening tonight across campus.
Adam’s and Don’s trainees are supposed to be swinging by for a drink before heading back out into the night, and I already know Firebird is going to lose her shit when she finds out I played a little loose with the truth when I said she had to stick around until midnight.
Plus, I invited Amir—though he hasn’t replied to my message.
He didn’t reply to the one before that, either, come to think of it.
By the time I glance at my watch, it’s past eight.
Hitman, Hitman, Hitman…
In her defense, we’re used to people running late—I can’t remember the last time Carter and Becca were on time for anything.
The doorbell rings, and I start. I look down at the funky casserole Lois made from one of her parents’ recipes and suppress a shudder.
No way am I eating this. Her dad likes to “keep things interesting” in the kitchen, and from the way her brother and Lane keep glancing at it, it’s probably a good idea to give this one a pass.
While I figure out where to hide the dish, Jeff sees to the door.
Even with a clear view from where I’m hovering, the guy is a mountain, and I can’t see who’s just arrived.
“Hey…”
Why does he sound so freaked out?
I work through the options, trying to figure who the mystery guest could be, waiting for Jeff to throw me a few more clues, but he just stands there in silence, blocking up the doorway, before suddenly calling out over his shoulder.
“Who invited Davy Crockett?”
And just like that, Amy steps into the apartment.
The first thing that strikes me isn’t the dirty look she’s shooting Jeff. It’s what she’s wearing. What in the… I’m suddenly hit by an uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing. Oh, don’t tell me she…
She did. She’s actually wearing the fugly-as-hell racoon-fur hat I got her for Christmas, which was meant to be a joke—a nod to the Raccoons anecdote she shared back in Brooklyn.
I thought she was teasing when she told me she’d wear it tonight, but nope.
Damn, that thing is even grosser than I remembered.
My friends are all staring at her like she just walked in with a shotgun, or something.
Well, this is getting off to a good start…
“Wow, thanks for the warm welcome, guys,” she drawls, like she didn’t just burst through the door with a fucking animal tail hanging off her head.
Jeff holds up a tentative hand. “Can I touch it?”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
There she goes again with that scarily calm and collected tone.
“Laney, get your puppy back on his leash if you want him in one piece.” I laugh.
Carrie smiles brightly. “Let me get your coat! Want to keep hold of your furry friend for now?”
“I think that’s a good idea. It’s a gift from Lewis—I don’t want to seem ungrateful, or anything.”
All eyes turn to me. I pinch down on my nose, stifling a laugh. Instead of acting all awkward, she just batted the limelight back to me, icy cool and in control.
“A gift from Lewis, huh?” Adam arches an eyebrow.
“That’s cute.” Don nods. “So, you guys already have a couples code thing going on…”
“It’s actually adorable,” adds Lane.
“There’s nothing cute about a guy giving you a piece of dead animal. That’s basically negging. Is he making you wear this in exchange for joining the Campus Drivers?” Lois puts a consoling hand on Amy’s shoulder. “Because if so, stand your ground, honey.”
Like I could make Amy do anything.
I glance at Firebird. She’s blinking hard, as if Lois just gave her the world’s worst advice.
“Thanks, but I think I got this.”
No shit.
“I’m Lois. This is Carrie and Amelia… You already met the guys.”
“Except for me!” Lois’s brother holds out his hand. “I’m Jeff. I’m gonna be a Campus Driver.”
“If everything goes well,” Lane adds.
“Come on, man! You know my sister will ditch your sorry ass if you don’t hire me.”
“I never said that.” Lois delivers a slap to the back of his head.
Jeff sticks his tongue out at her, before turning back to Amy. “What’s your name?”
“Davy Crockett.”
The girls burst into laughter.
Amy wiggles out of her jacket, and it isn’t until I feel Adam elbowing me in the side that I realize I’m staring at her in her super-sexy high-waisted jeans.
Jeff slings an arm over my shoulders, letting out a heavy sigh. “Sorry, Conley… But I think I just fell in love with that chick.”
“Put your dick away, kid. She’s off-limits.”
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” He laughs. “Okay, well you just let me know when you decide to move on.”
I roll my eyes at him. “The hell? No, I mean she’s my trainee, dude.”
I might’ve gone a little heavy on the my, just there…
Jeff’s eyebrows shoot up. “That smoke show’s your trainee? And she’s gonna be my colleague? Holy shit, I—”
“Rein it the fuck in, kid.” Don has appeared behind us. “We’ve got a zero-creep policy.”
“Okay…” Jeff frowns. “Guess I’ll have my pick of the girls come September, anyhow.”
“That’s the spirit.”
Don drifts back into the kitchen, and I decide to leave Jeff to his mental jerk-off session while I go find Amy, beckoning her over to join me on the couch, giving her raccoon tail an affectionate tug as she settles in beside me.
“You plan on keeping this thing on all night?”
“We’re kinda bonding now. He reminds me of my gangland childhood—roaming the streets like packs of wild dogs, torturing animals in our basements…” She flashes me a grin. “He’s named Meeko. You know, like the one in Pocahontas? I’m obsessed with him.”
I open my mouth to reply, but the doorbell rings, almost piercing my eardrums. That’ll be the dream team.
Carrie jumps to her feet, her hands flying to her face when she sees the power couple saunter in with a new friend.
“Oh my God, Becca! Don’t tell me you caved…”
“Is that a dog?” I ask.
Amy raises an eyebrow at me (“Duh?”). I shoot her a look (“Well, yeah, but…”). She cuts me off with a curled lip (“You really are Captain Obvious, aren’t you?”), and maybe Don has a point—maybe we have started speaking our own kind of secret, silent language.
“I can’t believe this. A puppy?” Carrie shakes her head. “What happened to being a strong, empowered woman, girl?”
“But look how freaking cute he is!” Becca squeals as the dog covers her nose in drool.
“Nice work, man!” Lane laughs, holding up a fist for Carter to bump.
“It’s my Christmas gift!”
Carrie side-eyes her ex-roomie, slowly shaking her head, looking like the incarnation of pure evil for a second there—though she’s got nothing on Firebird.
“That’s weird, because I clearly remember us having a girls’ night, when you said there was no way in hell you would ever agree to a dog. Right, Lois?”
“That’s exactly right, Carrie. I clearly remember something about having his balls chopped off if he ever got a dog.”
“You have such a good memory.” Carrie nods approvingly.
“Yeah, I remember that night, too.” Becca settles into a chair. “Wasn’t that the time you swore you would never date Donovan Wolinski?”
Lois laughs, turning her giggles into fake coughs.
“Such a little liar!” Don slides a few cups onto the table. “She was already crushing hard on me by then.”
“I was crushing you, you mean. I had you wrapped around my little finger.”
“More lies…” He shakes his head sadly. “She had me wrapped around way more than that…”
“Oh my God, why are you so annoying!”
Amy sighs, and I shoot her a quick look.
She made a ballsy entrance, but the nerves are coming off her in waves, and I can’t decide whether that makes me want to tease her or comfort her.
It’s weird—she’s spent her whole life running with total badasses, and now here she is turning to Jell-O around my friends. And I have no idea why.