Chapter 24 Amy #2
“One of these days, you’re gonna wake up and realize you don’t belong here.”
“You must miss me real bad,” I say slowly.
“Of course I miss you, baby. But that’s not why I’m telling you all this.” His voice softens. “One day, your world is gonna come crashing down on top of you. And it’s gonna hurt.” He shakes his head. “I’ve seen you hurt too many times, is all.”
My breath is rasping in my chest as I clench my fists. I freeze. Esteban looks me straight in the eye.
“Have fun with your jock. I’ll be sticking around for a while. When you finally wake up and realize he isn’t the guy for you, gimme a call.”
“Because let me guess—you’re the guy for me. Right?” A flush creeps across my cheeks.
“I never asked you to change. I never will,” he says. “I like your edges. I like when you’re scrappy. I like it when you hit the track, when you destroy those racer boys. Because that’s who you really are, isn’t it? Don’t try and tell me you—”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
I keep my arms clenched by my sides. I want so badly to break his jaw. And luckily for me, he slinks out of the shop before I can act on my impulse.
My heart is pounding so hard, it’s deafening. Esteban was goading me, nudging me to the brink, trying to get me to snap. And I nearly proved him right. Deep down, I’m defenseless against everything he just threw in my face. What he said was true—and there’s nothing I can do to change it.
I set about finishing the tires, my fingers fumbling as I rush, and once I’m finally done, I slide the shutters closed and dash up to my room.
My hands are shaking when I shut the door behind me.
My ex has muddied the glow I was basking in earlier, stirring the doubts I’ve been trying so hard to still.
I collapse to the ground and sit against the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest. Ten minutes…
I just need ten minutes to steady my heart.
I know Lewis and I come from different worlds.
I know that. But fuck, I refuse to let my past define who I am.
I am not a bad person. I’ve messed up, sure.
But I’m twenty years old with a whole life ahead of me, and I have the power to shape my future.
Lewis can see that—I’m sure of it. If he couldn’t, he would’ve ditched me months ago.
I’m doing my best to build myself up, but with each fresh thought, my doubt deepens.
I dig my nails into my scalp to quiet my mind and cast a glance at my phone.
Lewis said he’d message when he was leaving, but my screen is blank.
I almost want to call him to double-check he’s still coming, but it’s like my brain has stalled. If he doesn’t come, I’m gonna…
“He will come,” I reassure myself. “He will.”
I make a beeline for the bathroom, and as the hot water cascades over me, I sort through my thoughts. Esteban only sees me for the person I once was. That’s what comforts him, it’s what makes him feel safe. He never had a hold on me before, so why should now be any different?
I’m Amy Fucking Hitman. I’ve got this.
“Amy?”
Lewis’s voice cuts through the running water, and the relief is so overwhelming I could cry.
“Amy?”
“Just in the shower!” I yell back.
I pour a little gel into the palms of my hands, scrubbing myself down as fast as I can. Lewis never said how long he wanted to hang out, but I don’t want to waste a single second.
The door squeaks on its hinges, and through the shower curtain, all I can make out is his outline.
“Let me guess—nature calling again?”
“In a way,” he says.
The shower curtain slides to the side and I hardly have time to turn when I feel Lewis’s bare chest pressing into my back.
“You—”
His mouth covers mine.
I cling to his shoulders to stop myself from slipping as he clasps my face between his hands and tilts my head back, kissing me deeper, harder; a soft moan escaping my throat. Thank you. Thank you, Lewis—this is exactly what I need. And I was so scared I might not get to taste it again.
His kiss is hot and heavy, his tongue searching for me, trying to pin me down, fueled by an urge to tame me.
He comes up for air before leaning in for more, this time sliding his hands down my arms and to my sides, grabbing my ass as my heart hammers in my chest. The steam, the excitement of it all, the stress…
My head starts to spin. Lewis pulls me in to feel how hard he is, and just when he starts to nudge into me, I step aside, prizing myself away from his lips.
“Whoa, boy.”
I’m struggling for air, and when I meet his gaze, his eyes are shining.
“What’s wrong?” he rasps. “Don’t you want it?”
“Of course I do. But we’re missing something.” I look at him pointedly. “You know?”
He looks down between his legs and shuts his eyes.
“Damn. What if I told you that you can trust me? I get tested all the time…”
I shake my head. “Nope. Sorry.”
I’ve seen way too many girls fall for that crap, and though I’m confident Lewis isn’t the type of guy to lie about something so serious, it’s just how I roll.
“Hey, no need for ‘sorry.’ You’re totally right.”
It doesn’t take him long to get back into the groove, searching for my hand and pulling it between his legs, moaning into my mouth when I follow his lead.
Our tongues meet, the water gushing all around us, adding to the flow of it all.
With my back flat against the wall and Lewis’s hand braced above my head, he bends down and takes my nipple between his lips as I writhe against him, him working me with his fingers, and suddenly everything Esteban said earlier is drifting out of reach.
I lean into the adrenaline, pushing back against him, my body alive with the kind of buzz I could never get out there on the track. For as long as I have this, for as long as Lewis is around… I know I can become the girl I so badly want to be.
He straightens, angling for a better look at me, watching as my muscles clench and sweet release washes over me.
“I love making you come,” he whispers, and I smile in response.
He lathers me up and washes me down, and I return the favor, savoring the silence that’s wrapping around us now. His muscles are tight and I massage him loose, lingering over his back, his arms, ending between his legs.
Once all Lewis’s tension has drained out of him, we rinse off without saying a word—we don’t need to. He’s never been a big talker, and the glances we’re exchanging tonight mean more to me than words ever could.
BACK IN MY ROOM, I tug on panties and a tank while Lewis stretches out on the bed.
I’m getting the vibe that he wants to hang around a little while, and I’m not complaining.
I plan on making the most of the time we have together, because who knows?
It could be another month before we see each other again.
“Hungry? I’ve got ice cream…”
“Sure.”
I sneak into the kitchen and slip back out as quietly as I can. Raven’s roaming in the darkness somewhere, and after our bust-up this afternoon, I need to stay out of her way. We’re fast to fire, but just as quick to cool down—by tomorrow, she’ll have moved on from the whole Esteban thing.
“I heard a guy in your room.”
My heart lurches into my throat, and I freeze.
Oh my God! She is such a stalker…
Raven steps out of the half shadows.
That’s not creepy at all…
“Night night, sis!” I turn back to head down the hall.
“If that’s Esteban, I’m dragging him out of here by his balls.”
Didn’t we already talk about this? I hold my tongue. Just a few more steps… I can taste the freedom already. I can hear her hot on my tail, so I make a break for it, slamming the door behind me and snapping the lock shut.
I drop the tub of ice cream on my desk. Lewis is staring at me, eyebrows raised, as Raven bellows through the keyhole.
“I mean it, Amy!”
I pull up a playlist and go straight for the song I know drives her crazy every time. Joey is asleep, so I keep the volume lower than I’d like—still loud enough for Raven to get the message, though.
“I kissed a girl and I liked it! The taste of her cherry ChapStick!”
“Oh my God… Stop!”
“I kissed a girl just to try it!”
It’s a cheap shot, but it’s the perfect soundtrack to Raven and Charlotte’s relationship—and my go-to whenever I want to piss my sister off.
“Esteban, you’ve got thirty seconds to get the hell out of here,” she yells. “You’re not welcome here!”
I don’t hear Lewis sneak up behind me, reaching around me to pull back the lock and yank the door open. Raven is standing there staring at us, and I don’t know who’s more surprised. He leans over to turn the sound down.
“Hey, Raven. Sorry I didn’t use the front door—you said to let you know when I’d be coming by, but I thought you’d be asleep.”
She blinks and takes a step back, trying to make sense of it all.
“How’s Joey?” Lewis continues.
“He’s… great.”
Her dark eyes flash from Lewis to me and back again, before coming to rest on mine, her lips pinched like she’s desperately trying to hold back the words. She’s doing a great job, but I already know I’ll be getting a tongue-lashing later.
“His room is just next door, so keep it down, will you?”
“I promise.” Lewis nods.
He stifles a laugh as he shuts the door, and I whip around to face him.
“You really are the biggest kiss-ass.”
“She’s obsessed with me.”
“That’s what you think—I can guarantee she’s out there slashing your tires.”
I know that’s not true, though. The truth is, Raven seems to genuinely really like him. He definitely knows how to hit the Hitman sweet spot.
I climb back onto the bed and hand Lewis a spoon, and we dig into Raven’s pecan and vanilla ice cream. Sorry, sis.
“How was the game?” I ask.
He stabs at the tub with his spoon, and I flinch.
“Jeez—what’d the ice cream do to you?”
“We lost,” he says curtly.
He doesn’t need to say more. I get how he must be feeling. Of course I’m sad for him, but I’m even sadder for myself—Lewis only came over to work off his disappointment, then.