Chapter 21 Izzy
IZZY
Despite our win, there was no celebration. We were a solemn crew on our way back to Rook’s room. That was until Myel found us.
He rushed to me, but managed to stop himself before embracing me, since we were still out in public.
“I’m so glad you won!” he breathed. “I knew you would.”
Oh, we’d all had our doubts, even him, but his exuberant words helped lift my spirits.
“Thank you for your kind words, strange man,” I said a bit stilted. There were far too many others around, most of them looking my way.
Myel looked hurt for all of an instant as he searched my face and I made the universal sign for people watching: eyes wide, looking side to side with subtle head tilts.
He blinked. “Oh, yes, of course. I… wished to congratulate you on your win.” Then he turned stiffly and walked away.
I had no doubt he’d be in Rook’s room when we got back.
“My room is yours, as long as you want it, I’ll be staying with my master,” Rook said.
He’d been sullen since the match. I still couldn’t figure him out.
Was he mad at me for involving him? Maybe he was mad at himself for not having won the fight all on his own? That would be a typical male reaction.
Gah… men!
Even with so many of the opposite sex around me, I didn’t understand them.
“I’m… glad we… you won,” Rook said stiffly, then broke away from us to head to Svokol’s residence.
I huffed a sigh.
“He’s mad at himself,” Grandma Oli — still looking like Tala — said.
Huh… so maybe it was just a stupid man thing.
I’d been impressed that Olinara had kept her disguise even after nearly dying. She’d said something about locking her form, which I hadn’t really understood.
“He cares, a lot,” she continued, but then her face screwed up, confused. “But… he’s frustrated too? I’m not sure I get that.”
“Can you read everyone that way?” I asked.
She gave a low laugh. “Live as long as I have, in the rats’ nest that is the capital, with intrigue around every corner, and you learn a thing or two about reading people.”
Sounds fun.
Not.
And I wanted to be queen?
Wait… did I want to be queen? I’d been told I was a royal, that I was the heir… but since then I hadn’t had time to think about what that meant.
Power, yes… but also responsibility… and politics.
Ick.
But if I wanted to help people as I’d always hoped… then I’d have to learn to deal with all of that, wouldn’t I?
Great.
We made it back to the residence, and a crowd of people followed us up to Rook’s room. Well, it was my room now. It hadn’t ever been a secret, but now it seemed like everyone knew where I lived.
Good thing we could slip out to the training compound if we needed to. Though… we’d need Myel for that.
My group slipped into Rook’s room, finally alone. And as I’d predicted, Myel was there waiting for us. He’d hidden in the bathroom and waited till the door was closed before coming out, to ensure no one saw him. Then he threw himself around me in a tight embrace.
“I was so scared… but… I knew… I did…”
“It’s okay,” I whispered, holding him, comforted in his arms. “I was scared too, I honestly didn’t know if we’d win.”
“We?” Vyns said with a grin. “You won. I still can’t quite believe it… but I saw it with my own eyes. All that earth you summoned, and Saldrea and Golana straining to stop it and failing. You did that.” He shook his head in awe. “Told you you were a goddess.”
I smiled.
“She is,” Myel breathed, then captured my lips in a deep kiss. When he pulled back, he sighed. “I can’t stay, I’m technically on patrol. I’ll be back later.” Yet he didn’t let me go right away. If anything he held me tighter for a second.
Huh… I’d thought his clinginess last night had come from him not having faith in me. Perhaps I’d been wrong? He seemed as needy now.
I didn’t want to ask him about it, not yet, so I let it go as he finally released me and stepped back. Only then did I notice how tattered his clothes were, shirt and pants ripped, healing wounds on his chest and legs.
“What hap—?” I started to ask, but he’d already vanished in a puff of shadow-smoke.
He hadn’t seemed that injured, so I had to hope he was fine and looked worse than he actually was.
“What do you need?” Vyns asked, coming to me, tone soft and comforting.
Grandma Oli cut in. “I need to be somewhere else while you give her what she needs.” She winked at me and slipped into the bathroom.
That made me laugh a little, but it was a nervous thing. Fuck, I was still on edge, nerves frayed.
“Hold me,” I whispered to Vyns.
“Of course,” he said.
Koar stayed by the door, back to us, as Vyns drew me to the bed and sat with me, arms wrapped around me, not too tight, perfectly comforting. I wished he could give me the drugged high Myel did. As soon as my perfect Goth shifter had left, my mood had slipped back to darkness.
“I won,” I breathed. “So why do I feel like I lost?”
But I knew why.
“Is it whatever Saldrea said to you afterward?” Vyns whispered.
I nodded. “She told the world I was safe, but then she told me none of my friends and family would be. You’re all in danger. She’s coming for you to get to me.”
A loud rumbling growl came from the door.
We both looked over at Koar.
“I won’t let anyone get to you.” He didn’t turn. “And I’ll protect everyone precious to you, if that’s what you wish.”
“You can’t protect everyone,” I said.
“I can try.”
“Not if you’re by my side while Rook isn’t… and Myel is out patrolling.”
A deeper, longer growl echoed from him. He knew it too.
“But I appreciate the sentiment,” I said.
“You’ve been nothing but loyal…” for all of a day and a half.
It still baffled me how Koar had gone from a threatening enemy to an incredibly loyal protector in such a short time.
I still didn’t know how far I could trust him, but for some reason I believed him when he said he’d protect me.
Vyns said he was loyal to the crown, but it was more than that.
I couldn’t put my finger on it yet, but I felt safe with him around and since that’s what I needed right now, I didn’t dig any deeper into it.
Perhaps I was picking up some of my grandmother’s skill at reading people?
But then why couldn’t I read Rook… or Myel.
The dragon gave another, deeper, pained growl. “I… I couldn’t protect you during the match, and it tore me apart. I vow to protect you from now on, no matter what. No one will ever hurt you again.”
It was hard to argue with heartfelt words like that.
I leaned on Vyns.
“Thanks… you two… for being here for me.” I yawned. A wave of fatigue swept over me. I’d slept last night, but not nearly as much as I needed, and I’d been working hard training for most of two days.
“Stay with me while I sleep,” I said to Vyns.
He nodded and together we laid down, him close, holding me. Tears leaked from my eyes as I tried to find peace.
This was all too much. I’d won my life, but my fight was far from over.
Now, everyone around me was in danger, and I’d have to train even harder to protect them.
And eventually, I’d have to wage a war to claim a throne I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted.
Because if I won, I’d be mired in a different type of conflict, playing the political game amongst a nest of vipers…
or was it rats? Which was better? None of it sounded good.
It felt like I’d never be safe or secure or at peace ever again.
Needless to say… I didn’t sleep well.