Chapter 25 Vynsiel
VYNSIEL
I could still recall the grueling boot camp I’d gone through when I’d joined the Elysial Defense Forces.
I’d been prepared, my father and brother had beaten it into me, and it had still been a test of my limits.
And in battle against the nephilim, myself and so many other seraphim had found ourselves pushed past our limits.
And it all paled in comparison to what Izzy did now.
I’d never seen anyone push themselves so hard.
She was… there were no words. Even the title of goddess didn’t fit anymore, because for gods, things came easy.
Izzy worked harder than any god ever had, learning and growing and exceeding her limits.
And now, even though she could barely stand and needed rest, would she stop?
Oh, hell no.
She took energy from Koar to keep going. Time was short and she still had a lot to learn. She wouldn’t let anything stop her.
It would have boggled my mind… if I hadn’t already been impressed with this astonishing woman.
With a spirit like the sun itself, she’d been a beacon in my life ever since I’d met her. And she’d shown the world how amazing she was when she’d defeated Saldrea and Golana on the dominion pitch. She was strong and fierce and dedicated and didn’t give up, no matter what.
She inspired me to be better, stronger, more.
I’d been feeling down, defeated, after the dominion game. I’d done my part, but still, I felt like I’d failed Izzy and the others. Yet, as I watched Izzy that evening, I vowed to be worthy of her, keep going, keep fighting, never stop, never back down, do whatever it takes.
And right now, since I had no part in the plan to save Myel, my job was to take care of her, be there for her when she needed me.
Which meant, late that night, when she finally mastered bindings — a monumental feat to have learned in one night, Lhorine said as much — I was there for her, a soft place for her to land when she collapsed.
Her clothes were soaked through with sweat from her exertion, so first I took her to the showers, standing there with her, supporting her and washing her as she swayed, barely able to stay awake.
Then I carried her to her barely furnished little bedroom and laid her down, gently massaging her body, tending to her, helping her relax.
She sighed, still half awake. “That feels soooo good.”
“Sleep,” I whispered.
“Trust me, I’m trying, but… I can’t. I don’t know why. I’m exhausted and ohhhh—” She squirmed as I found a knot in her back and massaged it out. “You’re doing such a wonderful job of relaxing me.”
She rolled over suddenly, and I found my hands hovering over her chest. She saw my hesitation and licked her lips. Then a mischievous little smile took her face as her breasts swelled and pressed up into my palms.
“Better,” she whispered. “Maybe I need… a different sort of release?” she hinted, biting her lip, feigning innocence.
I massaged her chest, feeling her nipples harden, digging into my hands. She smiled and sighed and gave the sexiest little moans. Her legs edged open and I knew she wanted more.
Leaning down to suck one hard nipple into my mouth, I let the hand which had been there slide down to her folds.
“Yes,” she breathed, legs opening wider.
One brush over her seam and she opened for me. A gentle caress of her clit and her hips moved against me. I slid my finger back down and found her already wet. Heavens, she really needed this.
She practically sucked my finger inside her and let out the most guttural moan when I brushed her G-spot. Her body shifted, still tired but gently moving as her pleasure mounted, her heat blossoming.
I raked my teeth over her nipple as I massaged her clit with the base of my palm, my finger inside her stroking the sensitive patch within.
Her body shook with a soft release as she bit her lip and gasped, “Yes!” over and over. I teased out the orgasm till she was panting and spent.
Yet when she opened her eyes, a desperate need lay in those sea-green depths.
“More?” I asked, ready to give her everything.
A tear leaked from her eye as her face tilted. “If only you could give me what I needed,” she whispered.
I didn’t know what that meant.
She grimaced. “Thank you, that was amazing, you’re amazing, but… I’ve realized why I’m so wired. I need… Myel.”
Ah.
“The bond?”
She nodded.
My link to her in spirit meant we could feel each other, a limited sense, but it couldn’t replace her bond with Myel. I’d accepted that.
“Thank you,” she whispered again. “Can you give me a moment alone? I’m going to try something… now that I know more about bonds.”
I leaned down to kiss her lips lightly. “Whatever you need.” I covered her with blankets and rose, dimming the lantern in the room before leaving.
Koar waited outside the arched, open doorway.
The big man shifted uncomfortably when he saw me.
Something occurred to me.
“Is it… okay… me being with Izzy?” I asked in a whisper so as not to disturb her.
“That’s not the problem,” Koar grumbled. “You’re not the problem.”
I didn’t understand… until I noticed exactly how he was shifting, why he was uncomfortable. He was aroused.
Oh!
“Wait… do you want…?”
His tight-faced grimace was all the answer I needed. He did, but he was denying himself for some reason.
“Izzy is very accepting. If you told her how you felt, I don’t think she’d mind,” I said quietly.
Yet his grimace only constricted more. “That’s… part of the problem,” he whispered.
I didn’t understand.
“You want to be with her, and she might let you and that’s a problem?”
He nodded.
“I… can’t. I can’t fail in my duty to protect her. I can’t distract myself from this.” He pointed at the floor, and I took his meaning. He needed to be right where he was, protecting her. “I can’t distract myself from what I’m meant to do.”
Huh.
“Okay buddy. I understand.” I didn’t really. He could protect her and be with her. Though being with Izzy was one hell of a distraction, so I guess I understood that part.
Yet it pained me to see my friend tormented like this.
I patted his shoulder, gave him a reassuring nod, and moved away, but I couldn’t get that interaction out of my mind. Why couldn’t he protect her while he was with her?
It felt like the man was putting up barriers to his own happiness that didn’t need to be there. Perhaps I’d talk to Izzy about it and confirm she’d be okay with Koar as yet another lover. I had a feeling she wouldn’t mind.
That made me laugh as I found my own bed that night. It hadn’t been that long ago that I’d been torn up about the thought of Izzy being with others, but something had changed.
It didn’t take me long to realize what.
I’d left my family, left my old life and old ways behind.
Izzy was my family now, and her joy and happiness was all that mattered.
And I couldn’t deny that Myel made her happy, and as much as it pained me to admit it, Rook did too.
Though I didn’t know why the incubus had pulled away from her.
I had a feeling Izzy’s large heart would accept Koar into the fold as well.
And if the big man made her happy, then I’d be happy too.
I tried to let that thought lull me to sleep, but another kept nagging at me. Koar was putting up barriers to his own happiness… was I doing the same?
For a while now I’d been hesitant to fully give myself to Izzy because of my past. I’d done horrible things in Saldrea’s name and that stain on my soul felt…
wrong next to Izzy’s bold brightness. I’d hoped being close to Izzy would heal me, and in many ways she had, but I still kept a part of myself from her.
But… why?
Given what I’d seen and learned about Izzy, she’d probably accept me, all of me, even the dark parts… even if I still couldn’t.
Which meant… I was putting up barriers.
And the question which lingered in my mind as I tried to find some rest was: what did I need to do to get out of my own way and give Izzy the love she deserved?
I didn’t know yet, but I vowed to find out, for Izzy’s sake… and my own.