Chapter 40 Izzy
IZZY
Myel was missing.
Everyone had been looking, even Rook, who’d found us after Myel had won the fight.
The incubus had wished to congratulate Myel and also mentioned wanting to talk to me, but he hadn’t yet had the chance.
Myel hadn’t been in the victor’s room, where we’d expected.
And when Koar had unsubtly “questioned” the arena staff, we’d found out Golana and a bunch of guards had hurried the shifter away.
After that, I’d turned inward, to my bond, seeking out my mate, even as a sinking feeling had filled my gut with cold dread.
West.
Myel lay somewhere to the west, among the many residences. I feared I knew exactly where he was, in a certain false princess’ clutches.
“Fuck,” I hissed, then told the others what I’d felt.
We all hurried in that direction, crossing a bridge over the river which ran through campus.
Some other time, I might have stopped to admire the beautiful view off one side of the bridge, where the river almost immediately dropped off a waterfall, and beyond lay the sparkling ocean.
But I barely noticed the view in my periphery, focused on Myel and the mounting sense of doom churning in my stomach.
Please God, don’t let him—
A wave of agony hit me like a ton of bricks, stopping me dead. My momentum carried me forward, falling down the last few steps off the bridge to the hard stone path, where I writhed in the street, screaming.
Pain radiated through my bond with Myel, wracking my body, dominating my thoughts. I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. Myel was being tortured, probably in Saldrea’s dungeons. I knew it to be true but couldn’t communicate it to the others.
Vyns collapsed to one knee next to me, teeth gritted.
“Izzy? What’s wrong? I can feel…” Some of this raging agony must have transferred from my spirit to his. That’s how all-consuming this torment was.
Just when the pain in one area began to lessen, some other place exploded in dazzling affliction.
It went on and on, for what seemed like an eternity. I became only vaguely aware of my surroundings, too focused on the torture consuming me. Vyns spoke to the others, Koar lifted me, trying to carry me, though I didn’t make it easy, squirming and screaming and bashing at him.
And even though I hadn’t been able to tell them my suspicion about Myel’s location, they kept moving in that direction.
Then we stopped. There was shouting. Koar tensed, and I was set down. I felt more than saw everyone around me tense.
Somone — voices all seemed to blend together — said, “We’ll fight through this and get Myel, don’t worry, Izzy!”
Then… suddenly…
The pain ended, but not in a good way. I went limp, exhausted from the strain of thrashing, the tension of every muscle.
Something was so very, very wrong. I let out the most pathetic keening whimper as a wretched, aching loss overwhelmed me.
It felt like someone had torn out my soul and taken half of my body with it, including my lungs.
I couldn’t breathe. A massive weight pressed down on my chest, but somehow it came from inside me, an implosion, a compression.
A black hole swirled in my soul, trying to suck everything I was into it.
“Izzy?” someone called, sounding concerned.
They should be. I was dying, slowly consumed from within. An oppressive emptiness ate at me. I couldn’t think straight, so it took longer than it should have for me to realize what had happened.
Myel was dead.
Oh, God!
No!
Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
Only now did I understand.
Madness or death.
They were my only options. There was no possible way to live with this sucking wound in my soul, which devoured everything around it. Either I lived in eternal, empty, agony, unable to cope with life or anything beyond this feeling… or I put myself out of this epic misery and died.
They’d been words before. Terrifying words, but still only words, with no real understanding of the truth.
Now I knew.
I lived with this horrid duality for a lifetime between the span of two heartbeats, despising both options unable to choose…
Then the bond was slammed back into my soul. It radiated through me so intensely a full-body flinch jumped me off the ground an inch or so. I landed hard. The pain stunned me, as did the sudden influx of everything inside me again.
It was too much for my body to handle, I threw up everything I’d eaten that day, but since I had no strength to roll over it came up as a fountain, covering my face and upper torso. Luckily someone turned me to my side as I emptied my belly in the most horrid fashion.
And yet, that disgusting embarrassment meant nothing next to the stunning realization that I could once again feel my bond with Myel.
He was alive!
I wept whilst continuing to be sick.
“Izzy? What happened? Are you okay?” someone asked. I had no strength to respond.
“We need to get Myel back.” Another voice.
“I’ll tear these guards apart!” said a third.
“Wait…” came a female voice. Then that same voice whispered into my mind. That was quite a disgusting display. The voice held a note of mocking glee. Was that from the death of your lover or his revival, I wonder?
“Step aside Hana,” a rumbly voice said, sounding dangerous. “Or give us back Myel and we’ll be on our way. If you don’t, I’ll happily rip you apart, as well as these guards.”
Attack me at your peril, little dragon. For I am the only one who can help your lover end her suffering.
Yes, please, end this, I begged. I’d never given up so easily, but I had no choice.
I couldn’t take any more of this. The shock to my system of Myel’s death and revival — if this woman was to be believed — had been beyond too much.
I felt like I’d run back-to-back marathons across a blazing desert while someone had been disemboweling me.
Even that didn’t capture the full exhaustion and agony I’d endured.
What you just saw was Izzy experiencing the rather extreme torture of her bondmate, then his death, and finally his revival.
And he will continue to be tortured to death, then revived until such time as Izzy complies with our wishes.
Is that understood? the voice — I recognized it as that horrid sylph, Hana — stated.
I had finished emptying my stomach and was ever-so-slowly starting to recover, so I managed to catch the reply.
“What is it you want? State your demands.” The deep voice sounded thoroughly disgusted. It was Koar, my dedicated dragon.
Izzy will submit herself to the authorities and admit she is a traitor who wishes to overthrow the existing elven government. She will tell them she has realized she cannot fight the might of the elven empire and is turning herself in for punishment.
“That’s ridiculous!” Rook’s voice, heated and furious. “She’ll be executed for treason!”
“No fucking way!” Koar roared. “Why would we hand her over to you? What do we get in return? If you give us Myel back—”
Then we lose our leverage, now don’t we? Hana hissed. No! You will do this because you have seen what our torture does to the little whore. You will do this, because it’s what Izzy wants. Isn’t it? Tell them, slut. Tell them you’ll do it.
“I’ll do it,” I croaked, throat burning, voice raw, every muscle in my body still trembling from the ordeal I’d just gone through.
I couldn’t do it again. I’d submit. I didn’t want to.
I wanted to fight, but I couldn’t. There was nothing left in me to fight.
If they kept torturing Myel like this, I’d soon wish for death. “Just… don’t hurt Myel.”
Yes, exactly. We’ll keep the shifter safe and sound and…
mostly… unharmed. In return, Izzy turns herself in.
And you’re right, she will be accused of treason and executed, but as a final kindness, we’ll give her a fighting chance.
Izzy will fight Saldrea in the arena tomorrow morning. That’s the deal… take it or leave it.
Everyone gathered close, huddled around me.
Vyns was behind me, supporting me. He’d been the one to turn me to my side so I wouldn’t choke on my vomit.
You had to love a guy who was willing to help you at your worst, your most disgusting.
Koar and Rook knelt in front of me. Safir and Zora were close by, they’d been helping search for Myel at the arena as well.
“Izzy?” Koar’s voice was as soft as I’d ever heard it. I must look quite pathetic — have truly scared him — for him to treat me so gently. “Are you sure about this?”
I nodded, tears returning. “Yes.” I didn’t want to admit I’d lost, but I had.
The big man looked up, presumably at Hana. I’d curled in on myself and didn’t really know where the sylph was, just that she was somewhere nearby.
“One condition,” Koar growled. “One of us stays with her, to ensure she isn’t mistreated.”
“Fine, whatever,” Hana said dismissively.
It was one of the few times she’d spoken aloud…
and I’d just figured out why. Saldrea’s plan hinged on her remaining spotless in the eyes of the public.
She’d said she wouldn’t go after me personally, so she wouldn’t.
Hana giving us the instructions telepathically meant no one else would have heard it.
It would look like I was turning myself in and admitting I was a traitor.
Anyone with half a brain would probably be able to figure out that the false princess was behind all of this, but there’d be no hard evidence.
I had to hand it to Saldrea; it was viciously cunning. She had me over a barrel and I’d do as she wished.
There was one thing I didn’t understand. I’d already bested Saldrea in a direct match of our magic. Why did she think she could beat me in the arena?
Then I recalled the suppression collar they’d put on Myel.
Fuck…
But I had no other choice. I’d do as these psychopaths wanted.
“I’ll accompany you to the campus authorities,” Hana said, now sounding bored. Try anything and I’ll send a command to Saldrea to continue her work with the shifter. Because, of course, she couldn’t say that out loud.
My guys helped me up, but I couldn’t even stand, I was worn out. Koar carried me as we followed Hana toward the administration buildings.
This was it.
This was how it ended for me. Before I’d ever had a chance to change things. I hadn’t even been in this world for two full weeks. That was how long it had taken the vile oppressors of this place to wear me down and get me to submit.
Who had I been kidding? I could never have won. I’d lost the moment I’d come to this world, and I was only realizing it now.