15. VERENA GRAVENHURST
FIFTEEN
VERENA GRAVENHURST
By the time I drag myself into my last lecture of the day, I feel half dead.
My eyes are heavy and sting with every blink.
I hardly slept last night. Every time I tried, my mind would drift back to my argument with Loxen.
The way he refused to look at me. How his tone was clipped with every word, as if I were a waste of his breath.
And God, the look of disdain in those deep blues, when he finally let his gaze flicker to me.
That look alone nearly ripped my heart clean from my chest.
“Earth to Ren,” Mauve whispers, nudging me with her elbow.
I snap out of my daze. Turning my attention towards her, I give her a sheepish smile.
“Can I see the notes you took from Friday’s lecture?
I feel like I’m missing something, and I need to make sure I have the right information for my essay. ”
I nod, sifting through my notebook, finding the right pages and slide them over to her side of the table. “Thank you,” she mouths, and I smile.
“Welcome,” I whisper back.
I sink low into my usual seat, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me whole.
If I can just get through this last hour, I can go home and fall apart in peace.
Professor Harrington is already mid-lecture, pacing slowly in front of the room and rambling on about the history of Hollowcrest and the founding families.
How the original six shaped this town into the dynasty it is today, which is peculiar, because I could have sworn Reed only mentioned five families when we spoke.
Then again, it was quite difficult to listen to anything he was saying with his lips against my throat.
My thoughts trail aimlessly to the night before, and guilt riddles my mind.
Loxen’s eyes clashed with mine, observing my body in such an intimate way.
He hadn’t even touched me, yet his sultry words and heated stares are so embedded in my memory.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake them, and it’s infuriating.
I have no business longing for someone else when I’ve become so involved with Reed.
Pulling myself away from intrusive thoughts, I strain my ears, trying to grasp the information the professor is sharing with the class, but I can hardly hear him over the bickering in the row behind me.
I twist in my seat, spotting the blonde from Jenkins’ party scowling at me and whispering into the ear of a redhead beside her.
“The Gravenhurst lineage should have ended with her grandfather,” I hear the blonde murmur. The two of them snicker, and a few other students overhear her comment and giggle along with them.
Mauve sighs and extends her fingers out wide, fighting the urge to say something.
The girls behind us continue to laugh, and Mauve loses the battle within herself to stay calm.
“We all know you love to hear yourself talk, Madison, and your little posse seems to think you’re just hilarious, but can you please shut up for five minutes so we can hear the professor speak?
” Mauve snaps, and a small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth.
“She needs her bitchy little friend to speak for her. How pathetic.” Madison snickers.
Professor Harrington pauses mid-sentence. “Madison,” he says sharply. “Fascinating as your conversation must be, the rest of your classmates are trying to learn. Quiet down.”
He turns back to the chalkboard, and his warning seems to have gone in one ear and out the other, because the whispering continues behind me.
A rush of nerves sweeps through me as I glance backwards and notice one too many pairs of eyes on me.
I feel like a spectacle, like I’m an animal on display at the zoo.
Mauve places a hand on my arm, assuring me that she’s there for me, giving me a look that says, just ignore them.
My knee bobs uncontrollably under my desk, and another laugh has me abruptly standing from my seat, unable to bear it for another moment.
“I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go,” I tell Mauve. My legs feel as if they’re made of Jell-O, seconds away from giving out beneath me. But I keep my head down, doing my best to stifle the panic attack that’s rapidly rising in my chest as I approach the exit.
“Bathroom break, Sir,” I mumble to the professor before walking out.
A draft from the barren hallway greets me as I burst through the doors, cooling my burning cheeks. Anxiety pulses through me with each step I take towards the restroom, and it takes all my willpower to bite back the tears that so desperately want to fall.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
My head spins as I push through the bathroom door.
Only when I notice the room is void of any students do I allow a tear to slip free.
I brace my palms flat on the cool countertop, bowing my head between my shoulders in an attempt to stop the world from spinning.
My jaw chatters restlessly, and I close my eyes, taking deep breaths.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I stand there for a long while, focusing on the simple act of breathing until air fills my lungs freely.
My hands still shake, but I no longer feel like I’m suffocating.
Peering up at my reflection in the mirror, I tuck a strand of raven hair behind my ear, releasing an exasperated breath.
Looking at the clock above the door, relief replaces my anxiety, knowing I don’t have to return to class.
Swiping my bag from the floor, I take a step to leave, eager to curl up in bed for the rest of the evening, erasing today from my memory, but the door swings open.
Madison trails in, her friend close behind her. She glares at me with such disdain that I can’t help but wonder what I could have possibly done to warrant it. I do my best to keep to myself, careful not to step on any toes.
“Going somewhere?”
The redhead leans against the door, making a point of trapping me in. She crosses her arms, and a smug grin curves her lips.
“What do you want?” I seethe. I don’t understand her dislike for me. I’ve never even uttered a word to her.
She smirks. “I’m glad you asked.”
My eyes narrow as she saunters towards the counter and leans against it, placing her take-out coffee cup next to her.
“When Reed and I were in fifth grade, a stray dog ran onto the field during recess. Filthy thing,” she says with a tsk, shaking her head. “It was missing half its fur, bleeding from one paw. All the kids on the field screamed and ran from it.” Her sneer sharpens.
“But not Reed. No. Reed knelt down, let the disgusting thing lick his hand, then dragged it home because he felt bad for the thing.” Her gaze flickers to me, and I clench my jaw, not understanding where this is going.
“And that’s Reed, you see.” She tilts her head, analyzing me. “He’s infatuated with broken things. Lost things. Strays.”
Heat travels up my neck at her insinuation. So this is about Reed and I then. “But he never keeps them,” she continues. “He gets bored rather quickly.”
I’ve never felt more out of place than I do at this moment, but I’m tired of being the girl people think they can walk all over. The one they constantly disregard.
“Interesting,” I say, my voice low and calm. “You imply I’m a stray, yet you’re the only one begging for scraps of his attention.”
Madison’s smile falters, heat simmering behind her blue eyes. I take a step towards the exit, and she cuts in front of me.
“Do Reed a favour and stay away from him.” Her voice is venomous.
“Do Reed a favour? Or you?” I snap, unable to bite my tongue.
Her eyes narrow.
“He deserves someone who’s his equal. And you will never ever be good enough for him.
” Her words crawl under my skin, despite my best efforts to ignore them.
The truth is, she’s right. As much as I hate to admit it, her words bear an uncomfortable truth.
Reed grew up with the privilege of power from the moment he left his mother’s womb, like he was simply handed what so many in this world work so hard to even come close to achieving.
And I…I was just a girl who wanted nothing more than a place to call home.
“You look parched, Gravenhurst. Let me show you how Hollowcrest takes care of its strays.” She grins, and before I realize what she’s doing, a cup of coffee is poured directly over my head.
It drips from my face, landing on the marble floor in steady splats.
The bathroom door swings shut following their exit.
I stand frozen in the middle of the bathroom for a long moment before swiping the coffee from my face with the sleeve of my white blouse and walking out the door.
Keeping my head down, I enter the hallway.
Students swarm them, chatting with their friends, some leaving in a rush to get home.
Tears sting the backs of my eyes, but I don’t look up, even as a familiar voice approaches me.
“Gravenhurst! There you are,” Reed says, excited to see me, but his voice only provokes my tears further. “I’ve been looking for you all day—” His words falter as he grabs hold of my arm. I peer up at him, my vision blurred.
“What’s wrong? Why are you…wet?” His brows pinch together, and he pulls his hand away from me like I had just burned him.
I scoff a laugh and walk past him. “Just leave me alone, Reed.” My anger might be misdirected, but right now I just want to be alone.
“No, hey,” he calls after me, gently grabbing my arm again despite the coffee seeping through my shirt.
“What happened?” His voice is gentle, but stern. My eyes trail over his shoulder, and I spot Madison leaning against the far wall, grinning. I grind my teeth together, needing to get the fuck out of here. He follows my gaze, landing on Madison, and whips his head back to me.
“Tell me what happened, Gravenhurst. What did she say?” Anger takes over his features, and a tear rolls down my cheek. I was stupid to think I could fit in at a place like this.
“Nothing that isn’t true.”