Haunting Cries #3
“Well, yes, but he’s not who I made angry with my—” Beautiful sapphire eyes welled after she stopped talking.
I didn’t want to force her to do or say anything. However, Seb wanted me to get her to talk. So, gently I encouraged, “Your…?” hoping she would finish the sentence.
Laced with a drowning shame, Blue whispered, “My sinner ways.”
Noma called me the same, but I was well aware of how she actually adored my stubbornness.
I couldn’t stop the rude bark of laughter that erupted when imagining what Noma would have to say about Blue being punished for such a strength.
“I’ve only known you for a short while, yet already know there’s not a malicious bone in your harmless body. ”
Her resolve was absolute. “A heathen down to my bones.”
Frustrated with whoever lied to this child, I asked, “What are your ‘heathen’ crimes?”
Blue’s arms tightened around her legs to her chest as she stared at me, not speaking until finally confessing, “Saying no.”
I was very young, yet had been raised around bikers and by a woman who could keep up with them.
I wasn’t sheltered and overheard conversations.
I, one hundred percent, understood what ‘no’ meant for the female race.
I also understood how some humans chose to take what they wanted, anyhow.
That’s why I stared at the young man behind her.
A sadness in his eyes that spoke of nothing but confirmation of a suspicion.
Sebastian dipped his chin to me, then walked away.
I think hearing more was going to alter him in a way he couldn’t overcome.
Now sitting alone with Blue—a victim of more than violent hands—I thought about her words, being a heathen down to her bones.
“Blue… I may not be the right person to convince you you’re not a ‘heathen’, but I can tell you about strengths.
How to keep standing back up after life—” Or a religious nutcase. “—beats you down. Do you understand?”
Nibbling on her bottom lip, Blue shook her head.
“Those bones someone had told you are cursed, the bones in your body, were not only built—grown from food, but also resilience. Heart. Soul. Surroundings, good and bad, have made you who you are, Blue.” I laid a hand on my aching chest. “A courageous young woman who has beautiful bones.”
The angelic one actually offered a slight smile. “He’s right.”
Thinking of some asshole who had convinced Blue of bullshit, I growled, “Who?”
Her smile grew. “Sebastian.”
My spine straightened. “What?”
“He says you’re trustworthy.” Her smile grew even more. “He said ‘If I had a brother, I wish it were Johnny’.”
Jaw hanging, I was speechless. I didn’t know Seb that well. What did he see in me that I didn’t? “Wow… I didn’t know he felt that way.”
She sighed, long and hard, as if she had been holding her breath for years. “Thank you, Johnny. I feel so much better.”
Now I exhaled with relief. I’d helped someone. Damn, that felt good. “That’s great. I guess it helps to talk.” I shrugged. “Feel free to chat with me whenever you need.”
“Are you good with secrets?”
That came faster than expected.
She added, “One you could never tell?”
This pivotal moment is one that I would pay for, but there was no chance I wasn’t going to be who she or Seb needed me to be. My loyalty was now theirs.
Nodding, I vowed, “I promise.”
I learned a lot about Blue that night. Indeed, a certain church had become a big part of her life when her young mother turned to drugs.
Because of her mother’s addiction, the County Social Services Agency got involved and had Blue stay with a grandmother she had never met.
With no knowledge of the falling out between her mother and grandmother, Blue was soon whisked off to the same church her mother had been forced to attend.
One she had run from. That is how Blue met the pastor and learned of her ‘heathen’ ways.
That is how she met the man who beat her, causing her to be placed at the Weathers’ house.
The secret I was to keep forever? One only a select few knew?
The pastor was Blue’s father.
Deep inhale…
Sensing Blue and I needed a break from her revealed past, I decided to help her ‘bones’ grow. “I would like to share something special with you.”
Blue’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Yup!” I eagerly stood, as my heart began to ache with the thought of eating Noma’s food for the first time since her death.
Blue stood, too. “What is it?”
“Something that can never be replaced. My Noma’s homemade lasagna. It’s my favorite,” I admitted with a wistful smile. “She loved to cook.”
Blue’s face beamed, stretching with a big O forming on her lips. “I love to cook, too!”
“You should tell Harmony. I bet she’d enjoy cooking with you.”
“You think?” Her shy question made me realize this poor girl never had anyone encourage anything she found enjoyable.
“I do.” Gesturing to the garage, I asked her to join me. “Let’s grab some of that lasagna.”
“Okay.”
It ended up that we sat across from one another in the dining room, the sleeping house providing a quiet backdrop to the solemn moment.
I didn’t have trouble heating up the food or splitting it in half to share with Blue.
I knew she needed something special, as desperately as I wanted to stay connected and grounded to my Noma.
I never meant to get emotional. The tears that fiercely sprang to my eyes were sudden and came without warning, burning my eyelids as I tried to hold them back.
“Johnny?”
I couldn’t look at her, for fear I would blink and send those tears streaming down my cheeks. “Yeah?”
Blue picked up her plate and walked to my side of the table. She sat beside me and settled into the seat, picking up her fork. “Why don’t we take a bite at the same time?”
I nearly clutched my chest with her kind offer. I could only nod in response. I was that torn up.
And we did.
Her hum of appreciation matched my moan, a mixture of nostalgia, sorrow, and appreciation for the woman who tirelessly prepared meals from scratch for her sinner. And when a single tear managed to slip over one of my cheeks, Blue only made one comment.
“Sometimes, I think, it’s all right to let the tears fall. They don’t mean we’re weak, Johnny. They just mean we have a heart.”
I nearly choked on my bite, but swallowed and gave her a nod as I reached for the glass of water in front of me.
Chugging the contents to wash down so much more than the food, I realized Blue was a truly beautiful and sweet soul.
Despite all she’d gone through, she still chose to live in the light instead of darkness.
Still embraced every bit of good she could find rather than let all the horror and damage of her past push her down and cower.
It made me think of Noma, and yes, even the girl I met in the ocean, figment of my imagination or not.
Harmony. Sarah. All little bits of light sent into Johnny’s dark world to penetrate the shield of hate that festered around my heart.
I sucked in a breath and dipped my chin briefly to acknowledge them and then finished my lasagna.
I savored every single bite and even scraped the inside of the container with my finger so I didn’t waste any delicious sauce. Noma would have laughed at my thorough consumption. A growing weed.
Blue took our empty dishes to the sink and washed them, placing them aside to dry. I followed her up the stairs, curious when she turned toward me and smiled. “Thank you for sharing Noma’s lasagna with me, Johnny. It’s the most special night I’ve had in a long time. Maybe ever.”
I wondered if it was the nightmares that brought her to the gazebo tonight. Or maybe every night for her before she came here was the same, real or in her dreams, full of monsters she couldn’t escape.
“I’m glad, Blue.”