Chapter Twenty-Six - Sen
Calm was never something I wanted, especially since becoming a vampire. Life is far too much fun to be still. Teagan changes that, or…he makes me rethink stillness.
I lounge against the painted wall, Teagan tucked between my legs. He’s quiet, satiated, and drifting in and out of sleep, and there is nowhere else I’d rather be.
When Teagan wakes fully, he smiles. Shining with an inner light that makes me want to spend hours kissing him. Not the messy, desperate way before, but like we have forever.
My heart begins to sink, heavy with the knowledge that there may be no future for us. I need to get back to my family to figure out our next step. But for now, I push it away to focus on our present.
I pull my loose-limbed Teagan to his feet, and like two stupid teenagers, we make out the whole short trip into the bathroom.
Stopping only so I can turn the shower on, and so Teagan can snap on a plastic shower cap to protect his curls.
He grins, big and goofy and in two big steps, I’m lifting the most amazing man I’ve ever met into my arms. His legs wrap around my waist, his arms looping around my neck.
I carry him through wispy steam, under the hot spray and kiss him exactly as I wanted.
Then I wash him clean, brushing my lips over every inch of his slender torso, strong arms and exquisitely plump ass. I plan for a slow, sensual rub-down, but Teagan has other plans. He snatches the foamy sponge to return the favour, but in his very Teagan way.
Smiling, I allow him to manipulate my body to his whims; holding my arms up so he can look at my armpits, bowing so he can search behind my ears like I might be hiding a secret. His eyes sparkle when he discovers I’m ticklish when he brushes his fingers over my left hip.
He nudges me so my chest is against the wall as he gets on his knees.
My cock stirs as he scrubs my lower back, my ass and behind my legs.
I hear a wet splat of the sponge being tossed away before his inquisitive fingers take over.
A digit runs down my ass crack until he gets to my rim.
I let out a groan that echoes when he circles the sensitive skin.
He keeps at it, teasingly stroking my left hip, until I’m panting. I widen my stance for him, splaying my hands on the slick wall just as he removes his fingers to replace his gentle probing with his tongue.
And here I thought his digits were curious. He explores my rim and hole like he can’t get enough, humming and burrowing deep, another messy make-out session where the only thing I can do with my mouth is moan.
His slim hand slides between my thighs to roll and pull my tight balls, his other hand reaching around to stroke my hard cock.
The noises I make echo in the spacious bathroom as Teagan works me over until the growing pleasure has nowhere else to go but out.
Yelling, cum pulses out of my shaft to spurt against the blue tiles.
“Well,” I say, amused and breathing hard, as I turn to see Teagan jumping up. “For someone in a cheap shower cap, you’re looking awfully smug.”
On hearing Teagan’s quiet rasping laugh, I realise we’ve been silent until now, and how silence with Teagan isn’t such a bad thing. It is also when I realise I am completely in love with my soulmate.
It shouldn’t be a shock, and yet…I’m floored.
I’m not a cold-hearted bastard; in nine hundred years, there was a time or two when I thought I was in love. But I underestimated the soulmate bond, and Fate, and Teagan. Somehow, this strange little artist tagged me as his, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Once we’re dried, Teagan smothers himself in my expensive moisturiser, then does the same with me, a little grin planted on his plush lips.
Instead of getting dressed, Teagan insists we put on the white fluffy robes that are hanging in the wardrobe.
“I’ve always wanted to,” he says, swimming in the one he’s wearing. “It feels right posh.”
Chuckling, I scoop him up to carry him onto the balcony. I turn the heat lamps on to protect Teagan from the chilly wind, then order him two full English breakfasts.
“Will you actually be able to eat that?” I ask him once I’ve added my order of two espressos and a jug of orange juice.
Teagan cocks his head to the side and shoots up an eyebrow, saying without words that apparently I’m the crazy one.
And he proves as much when the food arrives by wolfing down half of one plate before I’ve even taken a sip of my coffee.
“Impressive,” I comment.
Teagan grabs his phone to snap a quick picture before shoving two hash browns in his mouth like I’ve been starving him.
“For my brother, Thomas. We send pictures to each other,” Teagan explains as he tosses his phone to the table. “He’s studying History in Japan.”
I hand Teagan the second cup. “Why Japan?”
Teagan shakes his head, curls bounding around his face.
“Coffee makes me buzzy.” I pour him a glass of juice instead, which he gulps down most of before I’ve set down the jug.
“Thomas wanted to learn independence and to experience the world. I miss him, but I’m happy for him.
Do you have any siblings? Or…is that like a sore spot? ”
I relax into the soft back of the sofa, throwing my arm around Teagan’s shoulders. The knowledge of what Emma told me is an uncomfortable stitch at my side. But one I choose to ignore. I’ll tell him after he’s eaten.
“I had three siblings. But they were much older, so our relationship was strained. Even more so as I grew, and my samurai training became serious.”
Teagan polishes off one breakfast in record time, then goes on to his second plate. “What was that like?”
I think back to those long days, carding my fingers through his hair.
“Nothing less than perfection was tolerated. My tutors were strict and harsh. Failure wasn’t an option.
And it was…boring. Bowing to people who assumed themselves my betters was laughable.
The beatings were a sad attempt to control me.
The endless lectures insufferable.” I run my palm down from his curls to the wing tattoo spread across his chest. “I craved freedom.”
Teagan blinks up at me. I’ve had many reactions to telling this story, from Vidar asking if I want revenge for whatever pains he imagined I suffered, to Lucero taking me out to drown my apparent sorrows in sex, then Rurik saying I should fight the anger out of my system.
Teagan says nothing; there is no pity or rage, only easy acceptance.
And in that acceptance, I tell him more. “The first boy I kissed was by a river.”
“Was it beautiful?”
“The boy?”
“The river.”
“Not really. But I held my first katana by a pretty tree.”
“Did it make you sad?”
“The tree?”
“Knowing you’d have to kill.”
“No. Because it wasn’t real. Until his blood splashed on my face, then it was very real, and I was very sad.”
“And now?”
I stroke up to his chin and wonder what my human self would’ve thought about this curious boy, with wide eyes and long, luscious lashes. Most likely, he would’ve knocked the boredom out of me, and I’d be so fascinated I’d be wrapped around his little finger. So really, nothing would’ve changed.
“Now…” I feel across his warm skin. “Now I’m proud of who that little boy became.”
“Even though you’ve hurt people?”
I cup the side of his face, our eyes connecting. “Does that bother you?”
“It should.”
“But it doesn’t.”
Without missing a beat, Teagan nods.
Unwavering support shouldn’t be what I crave. But as our lips meet, I just don’t have it within myself to give a fuck. I want to consume Teagan. Every. Little. Piece.
We stay like that for a long time, before he turns back to his last plate and finishes it off in a few short, impressive minutes.
“Where the hell does it all go?” I sneak a hand into his robe to stroke his stomach.
He downs his orange juice, burps, then says, “Thank you, by the way.”
“For breakfast?”
“Nah, I was never gonna pay for that.”
“At least you’re honest.”
“For this morning. I didn’t know I could cum like that.
” He slumps into my side and pulls his knees up to his chest. “For ages, I thought that part of me was taken. And… Who gives a fuck about being a ‘man’, right? I’ve seen so many different ways to be a person; what does it matter?
I’m queer; I’ve met, admired, and fucked so many different people.
I knew—know—myself, Sen. But then…” Teagan huffs.
“Getting hard isn’t what makes me a man. It isn’t…but…”
“Teagan.” I embrace him. “Someone hurt you. You cannot blame yourself for how you reacted.”
He grunts.
“I feel like I should be over this. I’m pissed off because a cock doesn’t make a man, and shouldn’t fucking define me.
But then I felt stupid that apparently it did fucking define me, like a toxic fucking guy.
Not everyone at uni were dickheads, y’know.
But if Carter could turn his back on me, why wouldn’t everyone else?
I couldn’t talk to anyone about this. I don’t think I have the right words even now. ”
There’s a lot to sort through, but more than anything, I know the name of the cunt who hurt him.
I file it away for later.
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, sweetheart. You aren’t less of anything. No matter how much time a pathetic loser spent trying to make you believe it.”
Teagan groans and drops his head into my chest. “But I want it to be over,” he complains. Whines, really. “Do you know how much sex we could be having?”
I smirk. “And what exactly did we just do? A magic show?”
His cheeks warm. At first, I think it’s from shyness, but I’m starting to believe my Teagan wasn’t built with that emotion. “It was really fucking good, right, slick?”
“Very good,” I chuckle.
“Next time, will you bite me?”
I groan. “Please do not tempt me.”
Which is when he tilts his head to the side. I growl and playfully bite at his neck with blunt teeth, Teagan letting out strings of laughter.
“Do you wanna turn me into a vampire?”
I still, my lips pressed against his neck. I pull him closer and onto my lap. I need to tell him the truth, but I don’t want to shatter what we’re creating. But don’t I deserve more time with him?
“I’d like to wait until I’m older. I’m in my fucking twenties, but I still gotta carry around ID. It’d suck to have to do that forever.”
My heart sinks. My arms tighten. Don’t we both deserve more time?
“Turning into a vampire hurts, too, right? So I wanna be prepared.”
I’m not ready to lose sweet tea and warm sand. His art and fearlessness. My life and all the years we could’ve had together.
Then Teagan whispers, “And it…gives us more time to get to know each other. To like…” He giggles, so damn pure. “Go on dates? That’d be nice, right?” And I know I was wrong about my brave boy never feeling shy.
My sinking heart shatters. Because I have no choice.
Or rather, I have a choice, and it’ll always be him.
“Teagan.” I cup his soft, warm cheek and carefully tilt his face to mine. “I need to tell you something, sweetheart.”
He frowns.
When he stays silent, I stroke his cheek with my thumb. “We found Emma, the blood mage Summer is working with.”
He nods for me to continue, his brows pulling tight. His silence is tense.
“She told us Summer knows how to break your tether. She’s known this whole time.”
Teagan sits up straight.
“But her spell to do it, and also get her into the demon realm, would weaken her…”
Teagan tries to pull away, but I cling to him. Not to keep him close, but because…now I’m finally telling him the truth, I have to admit that deep down, I’m terrified.
“Tell me,” he insists.
I look away.
“Look at me!” Teagan demands, grabbing my chin to force me back. “Look at me and tell me what she wants.”
I don’t know how Teagan figured it out; maybe it’s written on my face, and he already knows me too well. “She needs the heart of an ancient vampire. So either Bran, Vidar, or…”
He lets out a choked gasp. “No.”
“Teagan—”
“I said no! You aren’t doing this, you can’t do this, Sen. We just met! You…we…” he shakes his head. “No.”
I might want to live, but for Teagan, I’ll do anything.
“She can break your tether without the heart, Teagan! And it would kill you. Whenever she wants, you could be taken from me.”
“I’m not scared to die—”
“I am terrified of you dying!” I cry out, enraged. “Teagan, there is nothing in this world that brings me greater fear.”
His small body shakes, his dark gaze pinning me. “Do the others know?”
“They do.”
He climbs out of my lap, and I hate myself for breaking our peace.
“Gather everyone; we’re going to sort this out.
You are not going to sacrifice yourself like a fucking moron.
I don’t want it, or need it. There’s fucking magic all over the place, right?
So, if you’re seriously not even going to try to find another way, then you’re not as interesting as I thought you were. ”
My lip twitches, and I nod. Standing. “Okay, Teagan. Okay.”
“Let’s go. I’m going to dress you and do your hair.”
“Because I’m not being interesting?” I ask, loving him so completely that my shattered heart heals.
“Yeah,” he says as he walks into the penthouse. “But also because I’ve wanted to since the moment we met.”