38. Emerson
Emerson
“I really don’t want to do this,” I whined.
We were still lying in bed. Thaddeus was behind me, his arm around my middle, and his hand was slowly stroking the bare skin on my stomach.
Thankfully, Brooks and Tatiana had a two-bedroom suite at The Del. After everything that had happened yesterday, I needed a comfy bed so I could snuggle close to Thad.
“I know you don’t. But I’ll be with you.”
He was talking about me calling my parents. Something he felt strongly about. I had confided in him how much I missed my mom and how guilty I felt for disappearing on them the way I had. They’d lost everything. First Autumn, then each other, and lastly me.
We’d never have the once-happy family back but I could give them peace of mind that Autumn was alive.
“Later?” I tried.
“Now, agápi mou. We’ll be busy later.”
Yeah, we would.
We were getting married in a few hours.
“Fine. Can I use your phone?” I huffed .
Thad rolled to his side and grabbed his phone. Before he handed it to me he leaned forward and took my lips in a delicious kiss that had my toes curling, and all thoughts of phone calls flew out the window.
He broke the kiss, hauled me up so I was sitting, arranged the pillows behind my back, and finally handed the phone to me.
I dialed my childhood phone number and hoped my mom hadn’t moved or decided to slide into the twenty-first century and get rid of her landline.
“Hello?” My mom’s pretty, albeit sleepy voice, surrounded me like a warm blanket.
Damn, I missed her.
“Hey, Mom. It’s—”
“Emerson,” she breathed. “Is that you? Are you okay? Where are you?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m okay. I’m in San Diego.”
“San Diego?”
“I’m sorry it’s been so long since I called,” I told her, ignoring her question. “But I wanted to tell you I saw Autumn.”
“Autumn?” she screeched. “You found her?”
Guess I hadn’t hidden my quest from my mother as well as I thought I had. Though she’d have no idea how I’d gone about doing it.
“No. She actually found me. It’s a long story. One I’d like to do face-to-face. But I wanted you to know right away that I saw her and, so, well, she’s alive.”
My mom dissolved into tears and I gave her the time to gather herself, though I figured finding out your missing child was still alive would take longer to fully comprehend then a few minutes of crying.
“Is she… is she with you?”
“No, Mom. I spoke to her and she needs more time. ”
“How did she look?”
I’d thought about this, what I would tell my mom if she’d asked.
I’d never tell her the truth but I wouldn’t commit fully to lie and say she looked great either.
I decided somewhere in the middle was the best. “She looked tired. She looked like she’s had a rough go of it.
But she also looks like she’s healing. So that’s good.
She just needs some more time, then I’m sure she’ll reach out to us. ”
“And you? My sweet Emmy. How are you?”
This I could answer honestly.
“I’ve never been better. Remember Thaddeus?”
“Yes. The boy in the Navy.”
I wanted to chuckle at my mom calling Thad a boy. Even at twenty-one he’d been all man.
“That’s right. We…um…found each other again. Actually, we’re… I’m… we’re getting married today.”
This, too, made my mom burst out into sobs.
“I prayed for this. For you to get everything you’d given up back. I prayed so hard for you to find happiness.” She stopped, and with an audible swallow, she started again. “Will I get to meet him?”
“Of course. We’ll come see you.”
“Or I can come to you. Whatever is easier,” she rushed out. “No pressure though. When you have time.”
Shit. I closed my eyes and hated that I made my mom so unsure. I’d done that. I pushed her away and she thought it was about her. Something she’d done wrong.
“Listen, Mom, I have a lot to tell you, all of it I want to do in person. But right now, what I need to tell you is me leaving had nothing to do with you or Dad. It was my own guilt. I let Autumn walk out the door that day. I sat on the couch and barely gave her my attention when I saw she was leaving. That’s something I have to live with but I was so—”
“Emerson Isabella, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Autumn had been threatening every day to leave. She’d storm outside, sit on the porch and sulk, then come back in.
If I’d been sitting there, I wouldn’t have stopped her either.
My sweet, sweet girl, we asked too much of you.
We blamed you, we should’ve demanded you go back to California.
Back to school and back to Thad. I saw how sad you were.
It was so selfish of me to beg you to stay.
I did it because I was scared. Autumn had been kidnapped and I was so terrified to let you out of my sight in case it happened to you, too. I was wrong about all of it.”
“Mom, I understand now none of us did anything wrong. None. Of. Us. We were all reacting to a bad situation and none of us knew what to do. That’s something else we need to talk about.
I know it’ll never be the way it used to be, but we’re still a family.
We all need to heal and move on. One day when Autumn comes home, and she will, we need to give her her family back.
That means we need to be ready for her.”
“I’m glad you got your father’s smarts,” she joked.
“But your looks, right?”
“Yeah.” I was happy I could hear her smile.
Every year when report cards came out, my dad would review them and announce, ‘Damn proud of my girls. Smart like their father, gorgeous like their mother. My unstoppable girls.’
My mom didn’t take offense that dad implied he was the smart one in the family, and it was probably because my mother had a degree in biochemical engineering, and arguably was the smarter of the two.
“Do you mind if I call your dad and tell him the news, or are you going to?”
“You’re talking to Dad?”
That was news to me.
“We both found that when two people lost all that we had, no one understands that kind of pain, unless they’ve been through it.
We know we broke what we had, but we’ve found a way to still be friends.
We meet for dinner once a week, sometimes more.
We go to the movies together. I cook for him, or he’ll cook for me. ”
“You’re dating Dad?”
“No, sweetheart. We are truly just friends. We both are happy with what we share.”
“That sounds like dating, Mom,” I teased.
“It is not. And if it were, your dad would’ve been dumped a long time ago for his lack of affection.”
Okay, that was kinda gross, and I didn’t want to talk to my mom about my dad’s ‘lack of affection.’ She was conservative and shy with her words; therefore, I knew she meant sex, but would never in a million years utter that word to me.
Moving on .
“I’d appreciate it if you would. I’ll call him when I have more time. I’m going to give you a number so you can call me.”
“I can call you?”
Shit. I’d done that, too. Completely cut my parents out, leaving them without a way to contact me.
Shameful.
“I’d love it if you would.”
I rattled off Thad’s cell phone number because I still hadn’t gotten a phone. And honestly, it was kind of nice not having one.
We both promised to talk soon, told each other we missed and loved each other and when I rang off, Thad pulled me into his arms and let me cry.
So many wasted years.
So many regrets.
I sobbed, and with each tear that rolled down my cheek, I was letting it go. All of it. I couldn’t bear the weight of my past and embrace the bright future we had ahead of us .
“So proud of you, Emmy.”
“Before I forget, I owe Tatiana fifty dollars. She won.”
“Won what?”
“In Manicore, she bet me fifty dollars you’d marry me in under two weeks. She won.”
“That was a fool’s bet, baby. She knew she’d win.” Thad chuckled.
“How’d she know she’d win?”
“Because she’s smart. Because she’s married to Brooks and he didn’t fuck around making her his wife. Because she knows I’m the same type of man as her husband, therefore I wouldn’t fuck around.”
“Are Kyle, Max, and Declan the same type of men?”
“Absolutely.”
“So that means the three of them won’t fuck around either?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, boy, Declan said the next man to find a woman is getting his balls cut off.”
“He said something similar when Brooks and Tatiana got together. He’s all talk.”
“Watching him fall is gonna be fun.” I smiled at the thought.
“No, baby, it’s gonna be painful. He’s gonna fight it to the bitter end. The woman who takes on that task will have my respect.”
“When he finds her, whoever she is, she’ll be perfect for him, so it will be easier than you think.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“By the way, Tatiana said she only accepts cash.”
“Of course she did.” Thad laughed and pulled me closer.
Damn, I loved his laugh.
“I promise to love you, support you, and walk by your side for the rest of my life.” I slipped Thad’s wedding band on his finger.
When I realized he hadn’t started his vows I looked up and my breath caught. His deep brown eyes were liquid. And he was staring at me with more adoration than I’d ever felt.
“I promise to love you, support you, and walk by your side for the rest of my life,” he pledged but didn’t slip my ring on.
“I also promise to lift you up and make sure you always remember you are the most beautiful woman in any room. I promise to remind you how smart you are, how strong, how brave, and how I am humbled you chose me. And when God sees it fit to bless us with children, they will know they got their smarts and their beauty from their momma. I love you, Emerson, for all my days.”
He slipped on the ring he carried with him all those years and brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.
“I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs. Bench. You may kiss—”
Thaddeus swept me into his arms and kissed me.
It was long.
It was sweet.
It was full of tongue.
And it was the sweetest journey.
When he let me up for air, the magistrate chuckled and finished his sentence, “Your bride.”
Thaddeus turned us to face our friends. We’d decided to hold the ceremony in the flower garden behind the courthouse instead of inside one of the courtrooms. It was perfect.
The sun was shining, there were big, red and pink rose bushes all in bloom, and the people who meant the most to Thad were surrounding us.
Declan stepped forward to shake Thad’s hand, giving me a clear view on the lawn behind him .
Autumn.
She was standing off to the side, keeping her distance, but she was smiling. A huge, beautiful smile, and my heart melted.
Best day ever.
She tipped her head, gave me a wink, and walked away.
One day she’d be ready.
I looked to my side and up at my husband and he was smiling, too.
He leaned down to kiss my forehead before he turned his attention back to Declan.
Yeah, it was a great day.
My sister, my husband, and all of our friends were smiling.
A beautiful day to start a beautiful life.