3. Royal
Royal
“My conscience kicked in, and I told her we couldn’t fuck anymore. I don’t think she’s even told the man that could possibly be the father that she’s pregnant.”
I took a pull from the blunt I was smoking, then glanced at my dad. He’d nodded but remained quiet. After taking a pull and exhaling, he said, “You love her.”
I glanced at him, then brought my gaze to my hands.
“If it was just pussy, you wouldn’t care,” he added.
“Well, maybe I’m just dick, because she didn’t seem to care.”
“Naw. The nigga who the babies are from is just dick. Shani said she cried her heart out when she found out the babies weren’t yours.
If you were just dick, it wouldn’t matter.
I mean every woman wants a man that they believe will be a good father for their kids, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they care about him as a partner.
She cares about you, man. Y’all need to quit hiding your feelings and put all that shit on the table. ”
I huffed, then took another pull. Did I want to let my guard down like that and risk her rejection?
I could see her hurt last night when I ended things between us.
It hurt me more than she would believe. Originally, I figured we could move on like nothing ever happened, but what about that other nigga? He deserved to know.
“You thinking hard over there. What do you have to lose by telling her the truth? It’s not like you have her right now.”
“My pride. I don’t want to open up like that to be rejected. Even if she feels the same way, she could possibly reject the idea of us being together.”
“Love is risky, son. But so is everything else worth having. I almost lost your mom because I wouldn’t open up to her. I wouldn’t openly claim her as mine. You know why? I was guarded because of my past.”
Seven had enlightened me on that shit. Uncle Storm talked too much. My dad had never told me about that. “I don’t know, Dad. I just need to see how things go with the man that’s the father first.”
“Fair enough. In the meantime, don’t be moping around here. Smoke something and move on. You can’t dwell on it, or you will be depressed as fuck.”
I nodded as my phone vibrated. Glancing at it, I saw it was Seven. I rolled my eyes, then opened the thread.
So y’all together? Or is it business as usual?
“Seven is to me what Uncle Storm is to you,” I said, causing my dad to chuckle.
“That nigga is Storm reloaded times two. I didn’t think a nigga could get any worse, and Seven came along and proved me wrong.”
“He saw me and Aaliyah yesterday in the Escalade.”
He slowly shook his head. “That’s why yo’ ass was out there scrubbing the shit out of the inside of it this morning. Nasty asses.”
I side-eyed him as he chuckled. I’d gotten a ton of unwanted visuals of him and Mama in their vehicle, because they couldn’t carry their nasty asses in the house. That shit didn’t just start when they got older.
“The apple don’t fall far from the tree, nigga. Y’all ain’t hiding shit,” I said, causing him to laugh more. “I don’t know how the fuck I fell in love with her ass.”
“So you admitting it?” he asked.
“Maaaann . . . she must be practicing voodoo. I have never felt like this for anybody I was just fucking. She was down with the arrangement. It was like one day I was just fucking with her, and the next day I was making love to her. Going without her nearly killed me those couple of months when she was hiding her pregnancy from me. I just . . .”
I slowly shook my head as my dad stared at me. “I’d gotten used to the idea of having a family that quickly. Honestly, I think she was down to see how we would be as a couple too. The babies not being mine killed me inside, man.”
He set his blunt on the arm of the wooden chair, then turned to me.
“So, I dated this chick that got pregnant. She was a model. I was happy as shit. Then one day, she came out here to see me and told me she had an abortion. I wanted to choke that ho. Just seeing her made me volatile. I literally got arrested one night at a rodeo fooling around with her ass. After her, I had a chick I was just fucking to get pregnant from me. She miscarried right there in the bed with me.”
I stared at him waiting for him to continue.
“That shit fucked me up for the longest. That was why I had a hard time committing to your mama. Finally, Shameka came clean and told me she didn’t have an abortion.
The baby wasn’t mine. While at the time I was relieved, it still stung a bit to know that the woman I used to love had cheated on me.
I had gotten used to the idea of having a family.
My point is, you’re still young. Whoever it’s meant for you to have a family with .
. . you gon’ have it. Maybe she’s not the one. ”
It felt like he’d shot me in the chest when he said that. “So I’m in love with a woman I’m not supposed to have.”
“I didn’t say that. I said maybe she’s not the one.
There’s only one way to find out. Take another DNA test. The one you did could have been faulty.
Call the clinic and set up one. I’m sure Bali or Noni can have it done to where y’all don’t have to go to Houston again.
Everybody already know y’all business anyway. ”
I huffed. “Maybe I can mention that to Aaliyah when I bring her the rest of her things.” I glanced at him.
“I added a nursery in the house. Honestly, when I found out they weren’t mine, I sat in that fucking room and cried, man.
Ain’t nobody know that but me, you, and God.
I’m telling you because I know you understand me better than anybody. ”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “Things always work out the way they are supposed to. I hate you’re going through this. You’re a good person, despite being a ho.”
I twisted my lips to the side as he laughed and picked up his blunt.
Taking another long ass pull from mine, I closed my eyes and thought about how I would approach the situation with Aaliyah and whether I would say anything about doing another DNA test at all.
Grabbing my phone, I decided to respond to Seven.
We’re not a couple. It was practically a goodbye fuck.
I hovered my thumb over my text thread with Aaliyah.
She hadn’t called to come over and get her things yet.
I knew there was probably shit in her clutch that she needed for work tomorrow.
She didn’t typically do much on Sundays, so I knew she was probably at home.
Finally clicking on it, I sent the message.
Hey. You good? I was gonna bring your things, so you don’t have to get out.
I set my phone down and finished off my blunt just as Ashanni walked out on the deck.
“Hey, y’all.”
“Hey, baby girl,” my dad said, then stood and kissed her.
I stood as well and gave her a hug. As much as I loved my niece, I was hoping she didn’t have her with her. I was feeling way too sensitive today.
“What you up to?” Dad asked her.
“Not too much. Mama needed to see her baby, and we were out shopping. So, I told her I would stop by on my way home.”
Shit.
“Oh, let me go clean up, then. I gotta hold my baby.”
He put that blunt out and got up so fast until I got dizzy watching him. I chuckled as Ashanni sat next to me. “You good?”
I just glanced at her without saying a word. Dad told me she’d talked to Aaliyah. Grabbing my hand, she continued. “I don’t know how you feel about the results, but Aaliyah was devastated. I think she wants to be with you. Have y’all talked about being in a relationship?”
I shook my head. “I can’t fathom that right now.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t think you do. Let me make it plain.
I started fucking a woman I was physically attracted to .
. . been doing this for years actually. The condom broke on us a couple of times, because the shit was just that intense.
After hiding it for a couple of months, she tells me she’s pregnant.
We discuss doing a DNA test because we both know how we living .
. . free as fucking birds. In the meantime, I’m preparing to be a dad .
. . to have a family, only to find out I don’t.
Then I realize I have to let her go because I know if the babies were mine, I wouldn’t want her fucking other people. ”
“So you broke everything off? Even y’all’s friendship?”
“I can’t be her friend. I know what her pussy feels like.”
I stood from my seat and left her sitting there with her mouth open. I’d never spoken so graphicly to my sister, but my head was fucked up. I grabbed my keys from the hook by the door and said, “I’ll holla at y’all later.”
“Royal?” my mama called out.
I gave her a tight smile and left anyway.
When I got into my Escalade, I drove straight to Aaliyah’s house, although she didn’t text back.
I knew the code to get into her garage. If she wasn’t home, I would just leave her shit in there.
There were only two bags. I didn’t use garbage bags either.
I couldn’t imagine putting her stuff in a garbage bag.
I used two designer bags I had on my shelf.
She could return them . . . or not. I didn’t even care at this point.
Turning in her driveway, I saw her car brake lights.
She was just getting home from somewhere.
I parked and got the bags from my back seat and made my way to her garage.
She got out, and her eyes were wide as she stared at me.
She looked beautiful as usual. No matter what she had on, I could never keep myself from ogling her.
When I approached her with the bags, she said, “Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I planned to once I got inside.”
“Okay.”
She gave me a slight smile and led the way to her back door. Once she unlocked it, we walked inside, and I set the bags on her couch. My soul was so fucking heavy. I knew I had to get out of here before I found myself fucking up her ovaries. I made my way back to the kitchen where she was.
“I’ll see you around.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “Royal?”