20. Aaliyah
Aaliyah
Ihad the most beautiful babies in the world, and it was no thanks to me.
They both looked like their father. I had breast fed both of them while Royal looked on in love.
Last night was filled with sorrow and love.
I knew his heart was sorrowful, and mine was too, seeing him unravel, but it was love that carried us through the night.
The babies stayed in the nursery last night so we could sleep.
I wasn’t sure how well Royal slept, but I wanted to believe that I slept like a baby.
I could feel his tears on my shoulder before I dozed off, and that nearly broke me all over again.
I knew today wouldn’t be any better, because I felt like the maternity ward would be filled with Hendersons.
They had three babies to love on. I could only pray that these babies offered a reprieve from their grief and heartache.
I lay in bed, staring at my bundles of joy.
Royal had gone home and got the bassinet so they could sleep together, and they were literally clinging to one another all day.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Royal told them to come in.
It was Nikki and Lareesa with a huge balloon bouquet and a cigar for Royal.
He stood and hugged them both, thanking them, then they came to my bedside, looking confused.
Royal wasn’t as happy as they probably expected him to be.
He was really quiet and soft-spoken right now.
He was trying to be okay, but I knew he wasn’t.
He and Crew were always together until these past six months to a year.
I wanted to believe the drug usage probably started around the time they started arguing more.
“Baby, you need anything?” Royal asked as he stood. “I’m gonna go get something from the diner.”
“Maybe just a chicken salad if they have any. If not, baked chicken and vegetables will be fine.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
When he left out, I immediately said, “His brother died about an hour before the babies were born.”
They both covered their mouths simultaneously, clearly in shock by what I said. “My God,” Nikki voiced. “What happened?”
“He got beat real bad by some niggas in Liberty. He ended up having a brain bleed. Apparently, he didn’t recover from that.”
“That’s so sad,” Lareesa said as she walked over to the bassinet. “Oh my goodness. They are so gorgeous. They look like Royal.”
“Thank you. They adopted all his genes as their own. I’m not mad about that though.”
“I know that’s right,” Nikki said and giggled.
There was another soft knock on the door, so I said, “Come in.”
The door opened slowly, and Royal’s parents and Ashanni and Asad came in.
My heart felt like it was bleeding. I brought my hand to my chest as they all greeted me.
Daddy Jasper had huge bags and dark spots under his eyes, and he was so quiet, the total opposite of his normal demeanor.
They went to the bassinet and stared at the babies while tears fell down Mama Chas’s cheeks.
She turned to me and asked, “Can we pick them up?”
“Absolutely,” I said softly.
She picked up Rasha, and Daddy Jasper picked up Ravi. The way he held him close was tearing me apart. His face was extremely red. “They look just like Royal did as a baby,” Mama Chas said.
I gave her a tight smile as she sat in the rocking chair, holding Rasha close.
“Tell me their names again,” Daddy Jasper said.
“You’re holding Ravi, and Mama Chas is holding Rasha.”
He smiled, then kissed the top of his head. When the door opened and Royal came inside, he damn near froze. It was his first time seeing his parents since Crew had passed away. He set the food on the bed table and pulled out my salad and ranch dressing, then went and greeted them all.
“Did you give them middle names?” Ashanni asked.
I glanced at Royal, and he nodded, then swallowed hard. “Yeah. Rasha Ashanni Henderson and Ravi Crew Henderson.”
Ashanni’s body quaked as she cried silently. Royal went to her and held her in his arms, rocking her side to side. Nikki and Lareesa came to my bedside, and Nikki said, “We’re gonna go, boo. Y’all need this family moment. We’ll come back to see you and your precious babies once y’all go home.”
“Okay. Thank y’all for coming.”
“Of course,” they said in unison.
They both leaned over and kissed my forehead one after the other and nodded at everyone else, then walked out of the door.
I watched my in-laws love on our babies, and I even saw a couple of smiles.
They began asking a lot of questions about their birth and when I reiterated what Bali had said about Ravi’s cord being wrapped around his neck, Ashanni rolled her eyes as everyone else laughed.
Crew should have been here, loving on his niece and nephew as well.
Although, towards the end, he really irritated the fuck out of me by spreading my business to anyone who would listen, I had to believe his illness coupled with his drug usage had to be the culprit.
It was easier for me to be angry at those things than him.
The Crew we all knew was kindhearted and would never spread negativity about anybody that way. He was always pretty quiet. That day at the house was crazy to me. He wasn’t himself that day, and I believed that was what was eating the family alive. They knew he wasn’t himself but didn’t know why.
When Bali walked through the door to check on us, Daddy Jasper said, “You got one more time to call my grandson a whiny ass lil boy.”
Bali smiled and bit her bottom lip, then went to him and kissed his cheek.
Her eyes were red, so I knew she wanted to cry.
She kissed Mama Chas, then went to Ashanni and hugged her tightly.
She and Noni were the only two that didn’t see them last night, besides Royal.
Everyone else had gone to Beaumont to be with them.
After releasing Shani, she asked me, “How are you feeling?”
“I feel fine.”
“You think you’ll be ready to go home tomorrow?”
“Well, my insurance is probably gonna stop paying after tomorrow anyway.”
“Girl, fuck them people. I’m asking you.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Bali. I believe I’ll be ready to go home.”
“Okay. Have you walked today?”
“I did this morning.”
“Okay. Make sure you walk again before you go to sleep. Have you gone to the bathroom yet?”
“Yeah.”
She frowned slightly, then tilted her head in Keke Palmer fashion. I giggled. “No.”
“Okay. You need to shit before I can let you go.”
“Bali, if you were just going to say it, why were you trying to be discreet at first?” Royal asked.
“Because I realized that I’m Bali Henderson-Semien. Why the fuck am I being discreet?”
Royal rolled his eyes as Ashanni chuckled. This girl was an entire mess. When she left the room, Daddy Jasper said, “I realized you called Chas, Mama Chas. I know I better not just be Mister Jasper.”
I laughed. “Nope. I call you Daddy Jasper. My daddy said if I had to call any other man daddy, he was happy that it was you.”
His face reddened as Mama Chas shoulder bumped him. For some reason, I believed he needed that more than I even knew.
“They are so beautiful, Aaliyah. I can’t stop staring at them.”
“They are gorgeous, just like you,” I said as I lay in bed watching Royal stare at them.
We’d been home a couple of days, and I was completely worn out.
Rasha was the greediest little baby I had ever seen.
She was constantly on the titty. I was literally falling asleep while she was nursing.
Ravi had to be woken up to eat. He would much rather sleep.
I was with him. It almost made me wish I wouldn’t have breast fed.
Once my milk came in, I would be able to pump, but until then, I would have to ask the pediatrician if I could do both formula and breast milk.
“Royal, have you been sleeping?”
“Here and there.”
“Come here.”
He came and got in bed with me and kissed my lips.
His soul was tormented, and instead of feeling it, he would rather focus on the babies.
It was easy for him to do that right now, because we weren’t back to normal.
When our days went back to him going to work and being at the diner, it would hit him even harder when he got to their table at the diner and Crew wasn’t sitting there.
I hated this for him. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose Asad or Red Squared.
Daddy Jasper had been spending quite a bit of time here as well.
When he wasn’t here, he was at Ashanni’s.
I believed he and Royal were doing the same thing, avoiding the pain.
Mama Chas had come over too, but she’d also been busy with Ashanni, planning Crew’s funeral.
It would be this coming weekend. Bali had ended up keeping me an extra day until I shitted, so I didn’t go home until Sunday.
It was already Tuesday, and I still couldn’t believe I’d birthed such perfection.
They both had heads full of wavy black hair like Royal.
What was I saying? Every physical aspect of them was Royal.
Their skin color, their thick pink lips, their damn fingernails and toenails .
. . it all looked like his. I didn’t understand how my genes didn’t even put up a fight.
My mama and I had laughed about that for at least ten minutes the other day.
Rasha even got her appetite from him. He and Daddy Jasper could put away some food.
It was crazy how Rasha was already that way.
She had my damn nipples sore from how she was latching on.
It didn’t help that she was so damn aggressive.
I was starting to believe she’d wrapped that cord around her brother’s neck like Bali had said.
I glanced down at Royal to see he was knocked out.
I smiled slightly, hoping that the babies stayed asleep so he could rest. He needed it.
Family typically waited until around noon to come over, and I was grateful for that.
We were still trying to get used to their sleep schedule.
Rasha woke up nearly every two hours to eat.
I woke Ravi up to eat every other time she woke up.
I knew if I didn’t wake him up while she was up, I would never sleep.
Just my luck, he would wake up while she was asleep.
I wouldn’t be good for nothing or nobody.
I gently stroked Royal’s back as he lay next to me.
He wasn’t a snorer, but he was definitely snoring now.
He needed this rest so badly. I knew he wasn’t getting much sleep at the hospital.
Neither of us were all that comfortable.
While they had nice sized beds there, it wasn’t like sleeping in our own bed.
When his phone started vibrating, I wanted to curse. He sprang up and pulled it from his pocket like he was expecting an important phone call.
“Hello . . .? I’d dozed off for a minute . . . naw, what’s up . . .?”
He left the room as he talked and winked at me before he closed the door.
I took a deep breath, wishing he could just rest, even if it were only for an hour.
Whenever I woke up with the babies, he was awake to help me.
He looked even more like his dad these days, because he seemed to age a bit overnight. I knew it was from his lack of sleep.
Royal took pride in his appearance, but the past few days, that wasn’t a priority. He was in basketball shorts and a T-shirt every day. His skin was dry, and he had bags under his eyes. When he came back to the bedroom, his skin was red. I frowned slightly as he stared at me.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Mythic went to Liberty to find the guy that beat Crew. Watchful Eyes was with him. They found him and killed him . . . executioner style.”
My eyebrows lifted. “Umm . . . that should provide you a little relief, right?”
“It does. I just didn’t know they were doing that. I appreciate Mythic for putting his life in danger to seek retribution for Crew. That means a lot.”
I nodded as my lifted eyebrows scrunched together. “Who called to tell you?”
“Seven and PJ.”
I frowned. His face only got redder as I sat up. “What?”
“Fuck!” he whisper shouted. He huffed, then looked at me.
“Aaliyah, you can’t say shit to anyone. Please.
” After taking a deep breath, he said, “PJ isn’t dead.
They had to go through the motions like he was dead so the FBI didn’t kill him.
He was working undercover for Watchful Eyes and found out some shit he shouldn’t have.
The FBI is working with those niggas in Liberty to get at Seven and Uncle Marcus. ”
My heart was beating fast as hell. “Oh my God. PJ is still alive? Shit! Do his parents know?”
“I know for sure that Uncle Philly knows. I don’t know if he ever told Aunt Kema or not.”
“Damn. Is that how you found out the truth about what happened between us? I know you didn’t just take my word for it. You were so angry.”
“I took your word for it, Aaliyah, but I did ask to put my mind more at ease.”
I was at a loss for words, not believing the shit I’d heard. He joined me in bed and kissed my cheek. “Please don’t tell anyone, not even your mom.”
“I won’t.”
He lay back against me and started to fall asleep once again. Hopefully, that news would help him sleep better, knowing that the man responsible for killing his brother had suffered the same fate.