December 12th #3
“You know that he hurt me. And I did carry that with me. But it stopped the second you came into my life. Because I felt like I was finally, truly where I was supposed to be. With the person I was supposed to be with.” I squint my eyes at him.
“I just realized I never told you that he came to see me in the Ozarks.”
“And why didn’t you tell me?”
“I told Sammy, and I was going to tell you, but then you showed up, and I forgot all about it.”
“What happened?”
“He called me the first day I got there. Told me that he missed me, thought we should get back together. That he maybe had called off the engagement—he hadn’t. And then told me he was in the resort lobby and I should come see him.”
“And?”
“I told him no. That I had no desire whatsoever to see him again.” I roll my eyes. “I didn’t want any drama in my life. I was too happy. With you.”
“And the yes?” he asks.
“The yes has nothing to do with my heart. It has to do with my head. Since I can’t remember what I told you about him, I’ll give you the condensed version.
“We’d dated in high school. Had lots of future plans. I got a scholarship to Notre Dame. He didn’t, but he followed me there. Three weeks before finals, I found out he had been cheating on me. I was devastated. Bombed all my classes. Failed. Lost my scholarship. Couldn’t afford to go back.
“Notre Dame was my dream. I used to think he stole it from me. But I realize that I should have been stronger. Gotten through it.
“That’s why I was so adamant about taking the dream job, even knowing that it meant we would be apart. I will not allow someone to hold that kind of power over me ever again.”
“Is that really why you didn’t want to fall in love with me?” he asks, taking my hand and squeezing it.
“It’s why I didn’t want to fall in love ever again.”
“What I think is that you fell in love with a boy. What you needed was a man.”
I squint my eyes at him. “I don’t understand.”
“A man would have been honest with you. Broken up with you if he felt the need to be with other people. Would you have reacted differently had he done that?”
I nod. “Yeah. We were young. Before we went to college, we had talked about maybe seeing other people. I was actually the one to have that conversation with him. He said no. Never. He only wanted me. And I, stupidly, believed him.”
“My point. You were dating a boy. Not a man. I was raised to be a man,” he says.
“I know that, Damon. But at the same time, you tried to talk me out of taking the dream job. Told me you’d take care of me.”
“I said that because I wanted to be with you all the time. But I came around quickly, you have to admit.”
“You did. I know you have goals for your life, but I do too. And I am not going to let anyone screw that up for me. Even you.”
“And you shouldn’t. The right man would support your dreams. And you. Always.”
I nod my head in agreement, but the cynic in me is thinking, Yeah, in some fairy tale.
He leans in, kisses my cheek sweetly, and says, “P.S. I’m the right man.”
Which makes me smile. “I actually know that. And I’m really sorry you found out the way you did.”
“So, when were you going to tell me?”
I get up and go into my room, then return with my tote bag, setting it on the coffee table in front of him. “After graduation, I was coming back here to get my bag, and then I was going to drive straight to Lincoln.” I look down at my belly. “To tell you. To explain.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” he says.
“You have tenacity, for sure. I wouldn’t have been able to keep it from you.
But when I think about this semester, you might be right.
Knowing would have affected me. I would have obsessed over pregnancy calendars.
It would’ve kept me up at night. And it could have possibly shifted some of my focus.
“When we were all in the Ozarks, I told Chase that I would never let my relationship interfere with my playing. That I could separate the two. He told me that I couldn’t say what I would do or how I would react because I had never felt this way about a girl before.
” He stops and chuckles. “I’ve always said that shit rolls off my back because I don’t care what most people think.
That I only care what my family and friends think.
But what he asked me next did make me wonder. ”
“What did he say?”
“He asked what I thought would happen if, say, you and I got in a fight, had a misunderstanding, or if you decided we were just a summer fling. How that devastation would affect me.”
Feeling vulnerable.
Damon
“You will never be just a summer fling, Damon. I hope you know that.”
“Well, I do now,” I say with a big grin. “We’re having a baby together. Regardless if our romantic relationship works out, we always have to act as a family, okay?”
“Agreed,” she tells me.
“Good. I do appreciate the fact that I was fully able to focus on my season, my training, and my classes.” I look down, feeling vulnerable in this moment.
“But it wasn’t as effortless as I made it sound to you.
Even though Chase was named starter quickly and I followed four games later, we still got crap from some of the older guys.
When Chase started leading the team, it changed the dynamics.
Some players resisted. Some were resentful.
Throw in all their drama with family, girls, and partying, and I was grateful that I didn’t have that in my life. ”
“I know my freshman year of college was definitely eye-opening about what I wanted out of life, how I handled myself on my own—which was not very well. I was all about my boyfriend, and I didn’t want you to be all about me.
And in some ways, it might have been a bit of a test for me.
I sort of needed to know that we could be apart and together without having to worry about you cheating on me.
The fact that we made it through this semester and are still together says a lot about our future. It’s a big deal.”
“Having a baby is a big deal,” I say. “You know that the first time I laid eyes on you, I told Chase and my sister that I was going to marry you.” I shake my head and smile. “But it’s not all I said.”
“What did you say?”
“That you were the mother of my future children.”
Her eyes literally flood with tears. The emotions she must have been trying to hold back seemingly just lost the battle.
“Oh, Damon.”
“Don’t cry, Champ,” I tell her, but I start crying again too. “I’ve crushed on you since I was fifteen. I’m still crushing. Actually, that’s not true. I fell in love with you in the Ozarks, and we made a baby. We should be celebrating that.”
I put my hand across her belly, and the baby gives me a swift kick, one Ainsley probably deserves in this moment, but I look at my hand in awe.
“I just felt our baby kick. Tell me about your pregnancy, please. Is the baby growing and developing okay?”
“Yes, everything is going well. And you should know that the baby loves to hear your voice. Has been hearing your voice. Every single time we talk.”
“That makes me feel better,” I say. “But I think I’ll have to move back to Kansas City to be with you and the baby. I can transfer schools. I’m sure Kansas would take me. That would be the closest.”
“That’s a hard no, Damon. Remember when you told me we didn’t need to rush because we were soulmates?
That means that we don’t have to be in a hurry now.
The conversation we had about how it will suck—not being together every day, but that it will allow me to get going in my career while you’re in school, so that by the time you get drafted, I’ll be able to work from wherever I want—still stands. ”
“No, it doesn’t,” I stress. “Because now there’s a baby in the mix. My baby.”
“Yesterday, I went to Kansas City to look at apartments for me and Sammy. It didn’t go well.
I called my mom, told her on the phone that I was pregnant.
And I was crying. She ended up offering to let me live in her guest cottage with the baby and you, whenever you are in town.
We’ll have space, and mostly, I’ll have some extra support from both our families. ”
“I need to be present. With my child,” I state.
“And you will be. We’ll make it work. Two years will fly by.
You’re where you’re supposed to be, Damon.
Where you’re going to make your mark. You wanted me to move in with you and for you to take care of me, but now, you have even more reason to want it all to happen. So you can provide for our baby.”
“When’s our due date?” I ask.
“You’re going to love this,” she says, her tears drying up as a smile spreads across her beautiful face and her eyes sparkle with excitement. “I’m due February the twenty-second.”
I look upward and smile, barely being able to believe it. Double angel number. I gaze into her eyes, then roll up my sleeve and show her my new tattoo—the logo for our brand. The same tattoo my dad, Jadyn, and Phillip have.
Angel wings.
“It’s an angel number. Double angel actually,” I tell her in awe.
“I know. When did you get the tattoo?”
“About a month ago. I wanted to show you in person.” I break out into a grin as it all really hits me. “I’m gonna be a dad.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“Wow. Wow,” I say again, then touch her stomach gently. I bend down and speak directly to her belly. “Hi, little angel. I’m your daddy. Your mommy says that you know my voice. Is that true?”
Reason to win.
Ainsley
Not surprisingly, when Damon speaks, the baby becomes very active.
“I swear, every time we talk, this little nugget does somersaults or some kind of gymnastics inside of me.”
“Well, of course, you’ll be athletic,” he says to my belly, his smile beaming and his eyes bright with excitement. “I also think you should know that I can’t wait to be your daddy. To hold you.”
He kisses my belly.
Then me.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too. And I want to say it again. I didn’t want to upset you, I promise. I just wanted you to be able to focus this semester. And you’ve done so incredibly. So much so that I couldn’t wait until after your last game to tell you.”
“Can you believe we’re going to the playoffs?” he asks.
“I can actually.”
He gently strokes my belly and says to the baby, “And now, I have an even bigger reason to win.”
“Do you want to see the baby?” I ask him.
“Of course!”
I nod, get up, run to my room, and grab the box of baby stuff I’ve been saving.
“For the record, you’re the first person I’ve allowed to feel the baby kick. And no one but me has seen these photos. I couldn’t show anyone. I couldn’t tell anyone. Until you knew.”
He looks at the ultrasound photos in wonder. “This is amazing. Can you believe we made this? Together?”
“On a golf course, apparently,” I tease. “Maybe they will be a good golfer, like their mommy.”
“Look at those long legs.”
“All I know is, those long legs have been kicking me in the ribs. And it hurts.”
He grins about that. And he’s so cute.
Literally so handsome.
Emotions overcome me again.
“What’s wrong?” he says, holding my hands and gazing into my eyes.
“I knew you’d be happy about the pregnancy, but it was so hard not to tell you.
I wanted to tell you so many times. When we were in our picnic spot.
The first game you played in. Almost every time I saw you really.
The other day when we were talking about my job, it almost slipped out.
But I knew I had to tell you in person. I knew you would be mad at me.
I’m so glad you aren’t mad at me. I’m so glad you still love me.
” I hold up my arm. “Every time I wanted to tell you, I’d look at this charm bracelet.
Remember when I told you that you are my first real love?
And that I wanted to support you in football, life, and beyond? ”
“Yeah.”
“That’s what I was trying to do.”
“I’m a little mad,” he says, “but the happiness makes up for it.”
“I swear to you, I will never keep anything from you again. And although I’ve been going to the doctor regularly and doing everything I can to make sure our baby is healthy, I haven’t done anything else.
I haven’t bought a single outfit or anything for the nursery.
I just couldn’t until you knew. Until you could be a part of it. ”
“Have you thought of any names yet?” he asks. “Although I will be happy either way, I’ve always felt like I was destined to be a girl dad.”
“Really?” I say.
“Well, you know, I’m already surrounded by them.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure you are, hotshot.”
“I didn’t mean that,” he says. “I’m referring to the women in my family. I have three sisters, plus my mom and Jennifer.”
“Well, you should know then that I can’t wait to name our baby either.”
“Do you know the baby’s sex?”
“Sorta,” I tell him.
“What do you mean?”
“When I had one of the ultrasounds, they asked me if I wanted to find out. I told them yes, but not to tell me. That I wanted us to find out together.”
I run back into my room and come out with the envelope and hand it to him.
“The ultrasound tech was awesome,” I say. “She decorated up the envelope for our big reveal.”
“It’s cute how she wrote Boy or Girl with the boy in blue marker and the girl in pink.”
“Why don’t you do the honors?” I say, emotion overcoming me again. Happy emotions.
He’s not mad at me. He still loves me. And he’s excited about the baby, just like I knew he would be.
He opens the envelope and pulls out a sheet of paper.
“It’s a girl! A baby girl,” he says, looking misty.
And happy. “I’m having a baby girl with that girl—the girl I told everyone I was destined to be with the day I met you.
” He bends down and kisses my belly again, whispering sweetly, “Daddy loves his baby girl.”
But when she kicks him, he stands up and gazes into my eyes. “I kinda like you too.” He gives me a wink before planting his lips on mine.
And when he picks me up, twirls me around, and kisses me, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much joy and happiness in my life.
How will it all end for Damon + Ainsley? Find out in That Someday.