Chapter Five
CHAPTER FIVE
NATALIE
H ow are you feeling?” Joel had thanked the server who brought our lunch out to the lanai in the midst of the chaos, then turned his attention toward me.
The ice he grabbed from my bungalow was already melting in my hands thanks to the afternoon heat, but I held it up to where the bee had stung me and let it do its magic.
“Annoyed,” I responded, lowering my ice-holding hand for a moment. “I have spent my entire life meticulously avoiding this situation, and it stings a lot more than I thought it would.” Not only did the insect ruin my moment, effectively killing the mood, but I also reacted poorly with a few choice words. I was really impressive this afternoon.
We sat poolside in the lounge chairs, watching families play in the sand, teenagers attempt surfing, and a group snorkeling off a large rock at the bend in the beach. Even though we could see all of this going on around us, I loved that we were privately tucked behind a few low-lying bushes and flowing palm trees. Joel set up lunch on a small side table he placed between us. I stretched out on the chair, wrapping myself in an oversized towel while simultaneously icing my face and nursing my wounded pride with a cold Dr. Pepper. After arranging everything, he got up and came over to my chair, scooting my legs over with his bum as he sat down.
“Here,” he coaxed, reaching for my chin. “Let me see where it got you.”
I turned my cheek toward him, and he inspected it carefully. I almost stopped breathing. The proximity of him being that close caused my heart to race, and he wasn’t even trying anything—just being a good person helping the injured. I took in his scent—a mix of our hike and the chlorine from my saltwater pool. In that moment, nothing had ever smelled better.
“I can see the stinger. Hold still.” He carefully scraped the site with a credit card he grabbed from his wallet. “Got it. Don’t move.” He stood and went into the bungalow, coming back a minute later with two washcloths. One had fresh ice inside, and the other was sudsy. “Let me clean this really well so it doesn’t get infected, and then you can put some more ice on it.”
Joel gently rubbed the washcloth in a circular motion, cleaning the site, before setting it aside and leaned back to take me all in.
“Good news, I think you’re going to make it.”
I smiled and nodded his way, putting the new ice up to my face. “I had a good doctor, but he’d better eat before his food gets cold.”
He took a bite of his bacon cheeseburger and furrowed his brow in contemplation. “This is good. Really good. I had heard the chef here was incredible—they hired him from New York City or something. This is worth the drive over to this side of the island for another meal sometime.” He reached over and grabbed a sweet potato fry, releasing a slight groan as he tried it. “Here, you have to try this.”
He grabbed another and held it up to my lips. I looked at him, my mouth curving upward into a half smile. I parted my lips slightly and accepted it. It really was everything he said it was. Perfectly toasted, just the right amount of salt and rosemary, thick but not too thick.
“Where do you live? In my head, I assumed you live around here on the north side of the island.”
“No, I live in town because it’s closer for work. I mean, I know it’s an island and everything is relatively close, but most of the providers I meet with are there. I am over here a lot on the weekends, not only for the kayaking gig, but just because the vibe is more my style.” He shrugged and took another bite of his hamburger. “Okay, you have to try this burger, too. Open up.” I happily followed his request.
“Town? Which town?” I asked, swallowing the bite.
He smiled. “You’re such a tourist.”
“Duh,” I retorted. “Enlighten me.”
“The locals call the Waikiki and Honolulu area ‘town.’”
“You’re so cool using the local lingo,” I teased him. He nodded with a little bit of that shy self-assurance I liked so much.
Joel never moved back to his chair. Instead, he ate his lunch sharing my lounger, feeding me bites of his meal that he felt I needed to try, though he insisted the garnish of pineapple slices was not nearly as juicy as the pineapple he bought from a local grower he knew. Enjoying my fish and chips, I argued all the pineapple came from the same fields. He passionately defended his opinion for a solid five minutes. I ate it all up.
Whatever had bothered him the night before was gone. Joel was completely present, giving me his full attention and becoming animated in a way I hadn’t expected him to be as he told me about some of his kayaking adventures with clients. That shifted into him explaining every favorite food truck, hole-in-the-wall, or small local restaurant he frequented for meals. He told me about going to Maui one weekend and getting lost while on the Road to Hana; which is a feat in and of itself since the road is one of the most famously marked on the Islands. I devoured every detail he shared .
“Oh man, I talked a lot. I’m so sorry. I don’t usually say so much, but you . . . you are so easy to talk to.” He fidgeted with the side pocket zipper of his swim trunks. “I really don’t have a lot of people to hang out with. I mean, I talk to doctors when I’m working, and I talk to tourists when I’m at Island Water Sports.” He shifted nervously. “But there’s something about you . . . I want to tell you all my stories.” As if suddenly realizing what he’d admitted, he gave an awkward chuckle. “Now I sound really lame. I’m going to stop.”
Under that seasoned tan I detected a hint of blushing. It was the most endearing unspoken affirmation that he was enjoying his time with me as much as I was craving more time with him.
“Don’t stop. It’s refreshing not being the one to overshare for once,” I said earnestly.
He leaned forward, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear before he rested his hand on the side of my face and took a deep breath. As he let out the air, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but stopped and pursed his lips together. The despondent look returned to his emerald eyes, and he pulled his hand away.
Next thing I knew, he stood up. I grabbed hold of my towel and stood too. I loved that we were nearly the same height. As I silently scanned his face, wondering what he was thinking, I desperately wanted to throw my arms around him and burrow my face into the crook of his neck. His quick shift in mood brought with it so much heartache, I wanted to take away the pain of whatever he was burdened with.
Before I could say anything—or embarrass myself by possibly misinterpreting his needs in this moment—he quickly put his hands on both my biceps and leaned in for a very quick peck on my cheek.
“I have to go,” he seemed torn by his statement. “I need to get back to my place and prep for tomorrow. The weekend traffic will probably take a while.”
I offered the best nonchalant smile I could muster. “Of course. I have kind of taken up your whole weekend, I apologize.”
We walked through my bungalow to the front door. I let him out, then leaned on the doorjamb, watching him walk the path toward the lobby and out to the parking lot. A weird air hung between us. I desperately wanted to know what had just happened. Did I do anything to cause the shift, and was this it? I mean, he didn’t say he wanted to see me again. I realized he had a life to get back to—a job, errands, food trucks to dine at—but I wasn’t ready for this to be our goodbye. It had been one weekend, but for me, it had been an incredibly eye-opening one.
Forty-eight hours ago, I’d landed on the island a broken woman. One whose fiancé had called o! the wedding before the icing was even dry on our four-tier raspberry-filled cake. I hadn’t just lost who I thought was the love of my life, I lost my best friend. Bonus, the biggest discovery was how much bigger a role Dane played in my life than I did in his.
And now, here I was, watching a new man walk away and fearing I would always regret not demanding more. But more what? More of his time? More of his kindness? More compliments about how he found me attractive? More checking him out and realizing he brought about feelings I didn’t know resided inside of me?
What were these feelings, anyway? It wasn’t just a physical attraction. I felt seen and heard. I felt validated. I felt needed. Everything that had been missing the last few years. Dane and I were on trajectories for ourselves, going at warp speed and taking one another for granted. We needed one another for the social currency we brought to our relationship—people enjoyed us as a power couple. It was a fun life, but often a lonely one. I had expected to come on my honeymoon and feel nothing but lonely.
Instead, I was feeling slowly put back together.
Joel turned around before he made it very far and caught me staring at him. “Thank you!” he called out, pulling me from my thoughts. “Hope you figure out what you want to do with your life while you’re here this week.”
I bit my lower lip to keep from begging him to stay. At least until I could figure out exactly what I needed from him. I waved once and headed inside, closing the door without another look back.
By the time I cracked an eye the next morning, the sun was beating through the floor-to-ceiling windows I had forgotten to shade. Rolling onto my side, I reached around the bedside table for my phone. My head pounded, and my eyes were heavy and swollen. I spied a third chocolate-dipped fruit tray on the dresser and the previous evening came back to me. Despite promising the universe otherwise, the night had involved a bath, calories, some sad songs, and crying. Surprisingly, the tears shed weren’t only about Dane.
My phone powered up and showed my sister had texted hours ago.
Just checking up on you. While I’m glad you texted me after your date to let me know you were alive, are you still? Haven’t seen you on Dateline yet. What did you do yesterday??
I smiled. Carlie and I were three years apart, and she had the dream life as far as I was concerned. Busy raising my cute nephew, Liam, and working from home as a graphic designer. Her husband, Matt, doted on the two of them while running a landscaping business. She always worried about me but was learning to let me be me and not interfere too much.
I rubbed my eyes, then thumbed out a reply.
Hey. Sorry I didn’t text. Went hiking to a waterfall and afterward hung out at the resort.
She wasted no time in responding. I could picture her next to her phone all morning, waiting for my response.
You went hiking alone?
I rolled my eyes. She knew me better than that and was baiting me.
No.
With him!?!?! Oh please say with him.
My sister was always nothing if not supportive, which I appreciated. She was equally surprised and depressed for me when the wedding got called off, but never once questioned or ridiculed either Dane or me. She got it. Life happens.
Yes. With Joel. Would I be completely crazy if I sort of enjoyed his company? You can tell me.
She didn’t immediately respond, so I pulled up my work email to see if Kate sent anything my way. The only new email from her was a reminder to electronically sign a few contracts for the upcoming fundraiser as soon as I had a chance.
With the sudden announcement of Jill’s job up for grabs, I realized it would probably be in my best interest to work some, despite telling myself and everybody at Bliss I was on vacation and to leave me alone. I had to be ready to prove I was worthy of the promotion when I got back. That corner office with the view of the Willamette snaking beside Portland’s Pearl District was rightfully mine .
I knew the department’s inner workings like the back of my hand. I knew all the staff. I had hired and trained half of them. I had pitched to every hotel we secured contracts with in the last three years. Every vendor, every party, every event we were a part of in any capacity had seen my signature on the contracts. I had overseen every dollar we handed out in the community.
My phone’s chime alerted me to a new text.
I like that you’re not wallowing. If you’re not completely anger-rebounding, then I say enjoy a little vacation fling. You deserve it. What’s his last name? I want to stalk him on social media.
Without even having looked myself, I doubted he was a part of that scene. Joel didn’t seem like the type. When I told her as much, she requested a photo of him.
I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again after the way he left yesterday. I’ll call you sometime this week and tell you about it, but I’m going to order room service and work for a bit. Love you.
Not wanting to further explain my response, I turned my phone off, got out of bed, and looked longingly out at my lonely pool. With a sigh, I headed into the bathroom to splash some water on my face before settling down to respond to the mountain of emails waiting for me.
“I’ll order something brunch and look over the contracts, get my inbox to zero, and be done by early afternoon,” I prepped myself aloud, knowing I could easily get lost the rest of the day in all I had waiting for me.
However, one glance in the mirror told me the morning was going to go in another direction. “What the?—”