Chapter Thirty-Two
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Emma dabbed away the tears pooling in her eyes. Her friend had been pale and withdrawn at first, but Michel coaxed Sarah out of her shell and had her giggling by the middle of the song. Emma scanned the dance floor and was relieved that the redheaded beauty—Sarah’s dreamy crush—was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Jeannie had found somewhere private to stick her tongue down the guy’s throat.
Poor Sarah . She must’ve been heartbroken and desperate to have scrounged up the nerve to ask the Sphinx to dance with her. What was Gabriel’s problem anyway? He was such a charming, easygoing man. But by all accounts, he turned into an absolute asshole when he assumed his role as Professor Laurent. Like tonight with Sarah. Emma pushed aside her anger. That wasn’t important right now.
All that mattered was that Michel had charged in like a knight in shining armor and rescued Sarah from further humiliation. Emma dug the heel of her hand into her chest as her heart ping-ponged against her rib cage. She remembered from her high school French that chevalier meant “knight.” It was so perfectly fitting. She sighed and leaned back against the wall. She was acting like a starstruck teenager, but she didn’t care.
Michel was wonderful. He was loyal, kind, strong, and generous. And he made her laugh. He made her feel safe. He made her feel complete in a way she didn’t know was possible. Her dreamy smile froze in place and slowly melted away.
Oh God. Emma released a shuddering breath, hot tears blinding her eyes. She was in love with him. She loved him so much. What have I done? How could she fall in love with him knowing that he would soon be gone?
She thought her time with Michel would be worth the risk of heartbreak. But now that her heart was truly on the line, she didn’t feel so brave anymore. How could she bear it when he left? What was she going to do? All her life, she’d done everything in her power to protect herself from heartbreak. She never wanted any of this. Why now? Why him?
Because he was Michel. Because he looked at her like she was the most precious person in the world. Because he forgot his perfect manners and kissed her in the middle of a ballroom like he couldn’t help himself—like she was irresistible. Because he stepped in to dance with a forlorn girl and make her laugh past her tears. Emma loved Michel with all her heart because he was him.
And she had to stop . Emma could do anything once she set her mind to it. She could do this, too. She could stop loving Michel. If she could lock away the pain and loneliness of being abandoned by her mom, she could lock away her love for Michel.
When the song ended, she stepped closer to the tall, leafy plant by her side in a subconscious attempt to hide. Michel gestured toward her, and Sarah’s eyes widened. Emma hadn’t had a chance to tell her friend that she was dating the famed visiting professor. The two of them walked toward her, and she took a brave step out of her hiding place.
“Allow me to replenish your drinks, while you ladies catch up,” Michel said with a crooked smile that turned her knees to Jell-O. She watched as he walked away with the grace of a runway model, then turned to her friend.
“Oh my gosh,” Sarah squealed, clasping Emma’s hands. “I didn’t know you were dating Professor Chevalier.”
“It’s only been a few weeks.” She squashed the flare of panic along with the small voice that whimpered, You have less than four weeks left with him . “It’s not that serious.”
“Yeah, right.” Her friend snorted. “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“How…” Emma cleared her throat. “How does he look at me?”
Sarah blushed and giggled into her hand. “Like he can’t decide whether to fall on his knees and worship you at your feet, or to throw you over his shoulder to ravish you in a dark corner.”
“You discerned all that from one look?” Emma said with a wry grin, even as her blood pounded in her ears.
“Here we are.” Michel returned with two flutes of champagne and looked at Emma, and God help her, his eyes gleamed with lust and adoration. She took the champagne from his hand and gulped it down so fast that her throat stung from the bubbles.
“Thank you, Professor Chevalier.” Sarah accepted her drink with far better manners and shot a sly glance toward Emma. She seemed to have shaken off the incident with Gabriel and was back to her sassy self. “I have to go mingle now. Have a nice evening, you two.”
When Sarah disappeared into the crowd, Michel retrieved the empty flute from Emma’s limp fingers and set it down on a nearby cocktail table. He leaned close to her ear and murmured, “Would you dance with me? I need to hold you.”
Emma nodded wordlessly and let him lead her to the dance floor. As if on cue, the song transitioned into Billie Holiday’s “Solitude,” and Michel gathered her in his arms. She clung helplessly to him as she fell deeper in love with each sway of their bodies—the strong, reassuring beat of his heart thumping against her palm.
“You’re quiet.” His breath fluttered against her temple. “Is anything the matter?”
She closed her eyes and pressed her body closer to his. She was drowning in the realization of love, but she couldn’t tell him that. What if he told her he loved her, too? She wanted that with such desperation that it terrified her. Would she perish from heartbreak if he didn’t love her back?
But what difference did it make if they loved each other? It would never last. It didn’t seem possible right now, but her love for Michel would eventually fade, and there would be nothing left to hold them together. Besides, he had to go back to rule a country and her life was here—her dad, her godmother, her work—everything she loved was here. Well, not everything. Not anymore.
“I’m just a little tired.” She had to say something. “It’s been a long day.”
“Shall I take you home?” He tried to pull back to look at her, but she held fast, afraid of what he’d see on her face.
“No. Let’s just…” She sighed. “Let’s just dance.”
Emma breathed in the windswept, woodsy scent of him and let herself be . She’d spent her life trying to cultivate the perfect home, and she had found it in this man’s arms at last. It didn’t need to have just the right wall color and furniture arrangement. It didn’t need to be filled with beautiful, delicious food at every meal. Being with Michel was home. Her feet stopped moving, weighed down by all that she had to lose. It was so unfair.
“You know what?” She abruptly stepped back from Michel. “I think I’d like to go home.”
Surprise flashed across his face, but concern swiftly replaced it. “Of course. Let me drive you home.”
“I drove here, remember?” She was already hurrying toward the exit.
“I could ask Sophie to follow us with my car…”
“Don’t be silly,” she snapped, and Michel’s steps faltered beside her. Eyes round with regret, she reached out to squeeze his hand. “I don’t want to bother her. I’ll be fine going home on my own.”
A shadow of a frown darkened his face before he shook his head. “As you wish. I’ll just walk you to your car.”
“Thank you,” she said with a distracted smile.
The cool evening air greeted them as they stepped out of the Town and Gown, and she took a deep breath. The USC campus looked beautiful after sunset, with elegant streetlamps casting a warm glow on the tree-lined walkways and cardinal brick buildings.
“I… I haven’t thanked you. For what you did for Sarah,” she said suddenly. She’d forgotten all about it when he took her in his arms on the dance floor. “She has—or had—a crush on your TA, Jeannie, and it suddenly became clear that she didn’t reciprocate Sarah’s feelings…”
“Yes.” Michel scratched the back of his head with a rueful smile. “I saw Jeannie on the dance floor being very… affectionate with someone else. Is that why Sarah asked Gabriel to dance?”
“That’s my guess. I think Sarah was humiliated—even though Jeannie had no idea about her crush—and wanted to seem totally unaffected by the… scene.” Emma’s temper flashed red at the reminder. “Then Gabriel had to go and humiliate her further. What is wrong with him?”
“It wasn’t his best moment, but… he had his reasons,” Michel said diplomatically.
“What reasons?” Emma stopped in her tracks and spun to face him. “Are you defending him?”
“No, not exactly.” His eyebrows rose. “I agree that his conduct cannot be excused, but there are extenuating circumstances.”
“I can’t believe you.” She was overreacting because her love for Michel terrified her, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “I’m glad Sophie won’t be risking her heart for that jerk.”
Michel grew unnervingly still next to her. “What do you mean? Did you tell Sophie to shut Gabriel out?”
“She’s my friend, and I wanted to help. I couldn’t just sit by and watch her twist herself into a knot.” Emma crossed her arms, annoyed at how defensive she felt. She’d done the right thing. “I have never met two people more unlike each other. And they live on different continents . Besides, he broke her heart. It’d be foolish of her to give him the opportunity to break it a second time.”
“He is a good man.” Michel didn’t raise his voice, but Emma suddenly realized how big he was.
He’d become cold and hard in his anger—someone she didn’t know—and she wanted her Michel back. All her anger drained out of her. They only had four weeks left with each other. They couldn’t waste their time fighting.
“Why are we arguing?” Emma touched his arm, but Michel stepped away from her to pace with short, clipped turns. “This isn’t our fight to have.”
“You made it our fight when you interfered in my cousin and my friend’s relationship,” he bit out. “I’ve known them all my life. You’ve known them for… What? A few weeks?”
“Yes… as long as I’ve known you.” She let her words hang between them. What did she really know about Michel? He makes you happy. He feels like home. You love him . She bit the inside of her cheek. He is leaving .
“That’s not what I… Emma…” He stopped in front of her and searched her face. His voice was haggard but softer when he said, “What I meant was that they are good people. They deserve a chance at happiness.”
“I know Sophie and Gabriel are good people, but they’re incompatible.” Just like us. She couldn’t let herself forget that. Things would never work out between them even if he didn’t have to leave. She wouldn’t be able to stand watching Michel turn into a stranger when their love inevitably faded. It would destroy her. It was for the best that he was leaving… but her soul still railed against it. “They won’t be happy together in the long run, so why invite heartache?”
“Because love is worth the risk .” Michel held out his hands, palms up, as his eyes implored her. “And having things in common isn’t what makes people compatible. Sometimes it’s how their differences complement one another that makes them perfect for each other.”
“So what if their differences make them perfectly compatible?” she asked in a near whisper. Somewhere along the way, they’d stopped arguing about the other couple. She didn’t want to hear this. She didn’t want to hope. She was terrified she’d already started hoping. “Sophie’s life is in Rouleme. Gabriel’s life is here. Compatibility isn’t going to bridge the ocean between them.”
Michel opened his mouth on a sharp inhale, but the retort died on his lips. She held his gaze. See ? You know I’m right. Even if she allowed herself to ignore that they came from different worlds—even if she followed her heart knowing that it would be shattered in the end—there was no chance for them. He knew that, and it hurt him as much as it hurt her. So much so that he didn’t go after her when she walked off on her own.