Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Cara
You’ll be free to live the life you want.
Hayden’s words echo around in my head while I savor the truly delicious chicken parm. Living the life I want sounds like a wonderful thing, even if I can’t really picture what that would look like.
My father managed a lumber yard two towns away, and I grew up knowing my family lived paycheck to paycheck.
But since losing my dad, Gin and I are basically living day to day—from grooming appointment to grooming appointment.
Every day I wake up hoping nothing goes wrong and then I go to bed at night, only to lie awake shifting income projections and expenses around in my head.
That doesn’t exactly leave any space for daydreaming about what I’d rather be doing.
“Do you have any kind of insider information about this town?” I ask abruptly, not willing to let him believe he has the upper hand so easily.
“What do you mean?”
“Is there something that’s going to happen, like a business moving in or something else being developed, that’s going to make our property worth a ton of money in the future?”
His smile makes my skin hot, and I take a long sip of my water. “That’s a good question, and no, I don’t have any information along those lines. There are no external factors at play here—just me wanting to restore what used to be the most beautiful building in town.”
I lean toward believing him, mostly because if there was so much as a whisper about something big coming to Sumac Falls, it would be the worst kept secret ever. I probably would have heard about it at the market already. “Okay.”
“Realistically, how much longer do you think you can live there if nothing changes?” he asks.
I want to bristle at the question, but it’s one I ask myself practically every day.
“We do what we can, but it’s a lot for two women alone.
Just heating the place eats up more money than you can imagine, so there’s not a lot left for painting and repairs.
If something goes wrong structurally…not long. ”
It hurts to admit that out loud, but it’s not as though it’s a secret. Anybody even randomly driving by can see Gin and I aren’t able to keep up the property the way it deserves.
“Every day, the condition and value of your property drops, and it’s already unlikely a buyer could get a mortgage approved for it at any price.
Not without a ton of work being done to get it past the necessary inspections, anyway.
” He’s speaking matter-of-factly, with no judgement that I can hear.
“She’s never going to get another offer like mine.
Not today and definitely not weeks or months or years from now. ”
“I know, and that’s the only reason I’m here.” Did he flinch slightly at those words? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just my imagination acting up because I’d like to think he regrets blowing his chance with me.
Seventeen years ago, I remind myself. The time we spent together was such a small blip in time, he probably barely remembers we were even a thing.
I don’t like you.
You used to.
“Maybe I don’t even care what your motivation is,” I say quickly, not wanting to get too bogged down in those mental weeds. “What do I care what you spend your money on if it means Gin and I get out from under that house?”
“Then let’s do it,” he says, his lips curving into a smile. There’s a little triumph in his eyes, but not enough to cross over into being smug.
I laugh. I can’t help it. “I think you missed the part where the actual owner of the house would rather sit on a pile of its ashes than sell it to you.”
“If there’s anybody at all who can sway her towards selling, it’s you.”
“This may come as a shock, but I’ve tried—more than once over the years, actually.
I think the first time I suggested the house was too much for us, I was talking to my dad.
” The familiar pang of missing him squeezes my heart for a moment and I take a long drink of water.
“Needless to say, I’ve been fighting a losing battle. ”
“Maybe you just needed the right ally to come along.”
Oh, he’s good. My heart remembers well the potent combination of Hayden’s low voice, warm eyes, and disarming smile. My head, though? That’s a different story. I need for my brain to stay tuned into the fact he’s only here—and looking at me like this—because he wants something from me.
To be fair, he wanted something from me then, too, but I wanted those kisses by the river and his hand sliding under my shirt as badly as he did. Colluding with him against my mother is something else entirely.
His smile slowly fades, probably because I haven’t said anything, and his eyes grow serious. “Look, I screwed up in high school. I was young and stupid, and I’m sorry I treated you that way.”
I’m surprised by the apology—and I didn’t realize until he said it how badly I wanted to hear the words—but I don’t want to dig into those emotions right now. “I told you I don’t want to talk about that.”
Hayden’s jaw tightens, and then he nods once. “Okay. Is there anything you think I can do to make my offer more palatable to Gin?”
Unfortunately, he can’t go back in time and make the offer under another name, hiding his identity.
That’s what he should have done in the first place.
Honestly, I’m surprised a man who’s supposedly so good at business he can afford to throw money at an old house he doesn’t intend to live in didn’t think of that.
And, even more importantly, I can’t go back in time and stop Gin from making that promise to my dad as he was dying—a promise that had ensnared me, too, because I don’t have Georgia’s ability to walk away and establish rock solid boundaries.
Sometimes I wonder if our birth orders were switched, with me graduating first and going off to college without looking back, would Georgia still have left?
Maybe she truly was wired for every adult for themselves.
And perhaps I would have returned to Sumac Falls, degree in hand, because I’m just not wired to leave our mother to fend for herself.
It’s a moot point, of course, but something I think about from time to time—usually after I’ve talked to Georgia.
“Cara?”
Hayden’s voice drags me back into the actual reality I’m stuck in, and it takes me a second to remember the question. What can he do to make Gin accept his offer?
“Keep a low profile,” I tell him. “Don’t do things like being seen in my shop or taking me out for dinner. Wait, no—you didn’t take me out. We met for a discussion at a restaurant. Anyway, don’t antagonize her and I’ll do what I can to make her see she can’t pass up this opportunity.”
“I’m pretty sure I antagonize her by existing, being a Reilly and all.”
I laugh, surprised by how easily the amusement bubbles up inside of me, and he laughs with me. It was like this before—so easy between us when we were alone. It was as if the rest of Sumac Falls, especially our families, faded away and we were free to be ourselves.
I’ve missed that. I’ve missed him, even though I’ve been mad at him for a lot of years. Sure, it had all mostly faded away to that nostalgic remembrance of a broken heart, but I’d also shared a lot of my hopes and dreams with Hayden over those months together.
And now, if I want a chance to hope and dream again, I have to let him back into my life.