Chapter 60
Chapter Sixty
Hayden
“I’m going to talk to Cara,” I announce the following evening because I can’t stand the idea of a second night without her. And scrolling through the wedding photos on my phone is only making it worse.
I can’t make myself stop, though.
Colleen pauses the TV and gives me one of those mom looks—like she’s trying to see into my very soul. Usually when I get that look, she’s trying to figure out if I’ve been up to no good, but this time her face softens.
“I never thought I’d say this, Hayden, but I won’t wait up for you because I hope you two will work it out and you’ll be staying at the Gamble house tonight.”
The tenderness in her voice tightens my throat and I have to clear it before I can speak. “The Gamble-Reilly house.”
“Your house.”
I nod, feeling no satisfaction at all in hearing that. After all this time, I’ve had to admit I never cared about being worthy of stepping onto the Gamble’s porch. I wanted to be worthy of Cara’s love.
And I blew it.
I was going to leave Penny home, but she’d perked up when she heard Cara’s name. And by the time I’m done talking to my mom, she’s retrieved her harness, dropping it at my feet. She turns her face up to me, her expression breaking my heart.
After putting the harness on her and grabbing her leash, I pick her up. I don’t know how this night will go, but Penny will never forgive me if I don’t take her, so I carry her toward the door.
“Hayden?” When I stop and turn back to Colleen, she gives me a shaky smile.
“Don’t just say what you have to in order to smooth things over.
Say what you need to say, because the Reilly and Gamble families both know that on any random day, you may run out of somedays to tell a person what you needed to say. ”
I’m such a wreck, it takes me two tries to clip Penny into her car seat. She gives me an impatient look, sighing like only she can, but she forgives me when I scratch under her chin and tell her we’re going to find Cara.
That’s easier said than done, though, because her car isn’t in the driveway. And even though it’s still light out, the interior of the house is so dim, I’d expect lights to be on.
She’s not home.
I want to drive around Sumac Falls until I find her. Gin’s house. Mel’s house. The diner. Mel’s parents. Anywhere I can think of she might be.
But I’m not going to ambush her in front of other people. And I don’t want to go home in defeat. Colleen will have questions, and Penny will be disappointed. Since I have her leash, I decide I’ll walk Penny down to the rock by the river and back, and then try again.
We find Cara sitting on the rock, her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them, as she stares at the slow-moving water. Everything about her body language screams sadness, and my heart breaks all over again.
Penny is beside herself with joy, though, and I unclip the leash. I fumble with it, and she gives a sharp bark of annoyance, catching Cara’s attention.
She doesn’t look at me, but her face lights up as Penny sprints to her.
I think it’s the fastest I’ve ever seen my dog move, and fear jolts through me as I imagine her not being able to stop and going right off the edge of the rock, forcing me to dive into the river—cell phone, key fob, shoes and all.
I hold my breath until she’s safe in Cara’s arms.
I hang back for a few minutes, letting them enjoy their reunion, before taking a seat next to her on the rock. Penny makes herself comfortable on Cara’s lap, her back turned to me.
“I’m sorry.” I should probably specify what I’m sorry about, but there’s so much. And I’m sorry for all of it.
“You don’t have to be sorry. We both knew what we were getting into. I just wish you’d been totally honest about your motivation from the start and we could avoided all of this.” Her mouth twists. “But I guess that was the point. You didn’t want to avoid this, and you got what you wanted.”
“I did not want to hurt you. I always wanted you to know I showed up.” She stills, and I want to take her hand, but I can’t risk her pulling it away from me. “The night of the homecoming dance. I was there when I said I would be, but your dad wasn’t really all that happy to see me.”
“But we knew he wouldn’t be, even though I told my parents you were coming. That wasn’t going to stop me from going.”
“You weren’t ready when I got there.”
“No, because my mom said my hair wasn’t right in the back. I couldn’t see it but she said she had to fix it. I knew I’d be a few minutes late, but I…I wanted to look perfect for you.”
Cara has always looked perfect to me. I want to tell her that, but her expression is getting darker by the second, and I’m not sure now is the time.
“I can’t believe you,” she says, the words an angry blast. “Even if my dad was being a jerk, I wasn’t worth waiting for?”
Now that I can’t let stand. “Don’t you ever say that again, Cara Gamble. Not to me. You were definitely worth waiting for.”
Her face is flushed with anger already, but the pink of her cheeks deepens. “And yet you didn’t.”
I have to tell her what happened on homecoming night, even though I never wanted her to know. One, because I didn’t want to say anything against her dad. But there was also my pride. What Marcus Gamble said to me that night hurt, and I’m not one to expose my wounds.
The idea of her believing I didn’t think she was worth waiting for hurts even more, though.
“I would have waited hours for you, Cara. But Marcus wasn’t having it.
I would have stuck it out, even if I had to stand on the sidewalk on the other side of your gate.
But he didn’t just want me to not take you to homecoming—he didn’t want me to ever speak to you again.
” I pause, taking a deep breath to keep so many years of anger from choking off my words.
“When calling me names and telling me all the ways I was too filthy to even look in your direction didn’t work, he told me if I ever spoke to you again, he and his buddy Frank would plant a distribution amount of drugs in Aaron’s car and then bust him during a traffic stop. ”
Marcus’s buddy Frank was the chief of police at the time, and they both hated my family. And Frank had the power to destroy my brother’s life.
I watch her face as some of the anger seeps out of her expression, leaving behind confusion. Fighting the urge to keep explaining, I stay silent and let her process what I told her.
“No,” Cara says, and I expected this. Nobody wants to believe a loved one would sink that low. “My dad wouldn’t threaten your little brother’s future just to keep you away from me.”
“He started by threatening me, but I told him I wasn’t leaving until I talked to you.”
“But he knew you would protect Aaron.”
“He’s my little brother,” I say simply.
“I’m sorry he did that to you,” she says, and I didn’t realize how much I needed her to believe me until so much tension leaves my muscles, they actually tremble.
“Us,” I correct in a rough voice. “He did that to us. You and me, and what could have been.”
“But why didn’t you just tell me? All this time I thought you stood me up. I thought it was just some…elaborate Reilly prank on the Gamble family. You could have at least slipped a note into my locker.”
“I’m so sorry.” Even though they can’t hurt Aaron anymore—Frank retired the year before Marcus passed away and died three years later—the old fear makes my chest hurt and I struggle to take a full breath.
“If I told you, and then you told Mel or anybody else, Aaron might find out and I never wanted him to know. I was scared, Cara.”
Her brows draw together. “If a corrupt police chief threatened to frame me for a felony, I’d want to know.”
“Aaron was a kid. And he knew how I felt about you, so he would have felt bad or—even worse—tried to fix it. He probably would have gone to our mother, and she would have dragged the entire town into it. I knew that no matter what, I was never going to be allowed to talk to you, and I was afraid Marcus and Frank would get even more dangerous if they were cornered. The stakes were too high, so I had to let you go. As far as I know, your father and I are the only ones who ever knew.”
“And my mother.” I start to speak, but she holds up her hand. “She deliberately delayed me with the hair thing. She was in on it.”
“Oh, she was definitely involved in running me off. But that doesn’t mean she knew he threatened to ruin my little brother’s life with a fake drug dealing charge.”
Her sudden laugh echoes across the water and eases some of the pressure in my chest. “Hayden Reilly, are you actually defending Gin Gamble?”
“She is my mother-in-law, you know.” And I want to keep it that way, so even though I may have said what I had to say to smooth things over, there’s more I need to say.
“And to circle back to us knowing what we were getting into, I guess I didn’t because falling in love with you all over again was never part of the plan. ”
“Hayden—”
“Do you know what I felt the day we closed on that house?” I cut in, because even if she’s about to tell me she doesn’t feel the same and it’s over between us, I want her to know.
“I thought the taste of triumph would be so sweet that day, but when we walked out of that office and the house was mine, all I could think about was how from that moment on, the clock was ticking toward you and I going our separate ways. The satisfaction of finally owning that porch was nothing compared to how badly I wished our marriage was going to last forever.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice is barely more than a whisper.
“I broke your heart once, Cara. And I made a deal with you. I blew my chance, and dumping my emotions on a situation that was already emotional for you wouldn’t be fair.”
She inhales deeply, her hand stroking Penny’s back, before she looks at me. “That was so long ago, Hayden. I mean, I guess it was unfinished business between us, but we were kids. We’re adults now, and the teenage version of you might have broken my heart, but the grown version of you won it back.”
As her words sink in, my pulse races and it’s hard to breathe. “Cara?”
“I love you too, Hayden. Not still, but again. And I didn’t tell you before because, like you said, it wasn’t part of the deal we made.”
“I think it’s time we amend the deal,” I say after clearing my throat. “Cara, you’re my wife. I love you, and I’m asking you to stay my wife, not just in name, but in my heart.”
She presses her lips together for a few seconds before they curve into a quivering smile. “Yes. Yes, Hayden, I will stay your wife because I love you, too.”
“Then let’s do this right.” I take her hand in mine, my thumb pressed to the rings she hadn’t taken off.
“Carolina Marie Gamble, I promise to love you until the last breath leaves my body. I promise that we’re going to dream big and then work together to make those dreams come true.
And I promise to show up for you, every day, for the rest of our lives. ”
Her breath catches in her chest, and she blinks away tears. “Hayden William Reilly, I promise to see you—to see the man you are and not who anybody else believes you to be—and I promise to love you for the rest of my life.”
Cupping the back of her neck, I lean in and kiss my wife.
My wife.
For the first time in my life, I know what peace truly feels like. Cara in my arms, her lips against mine. Penny happily cuddled up between us. The water lazily swirling around this rock where I kissed Cara for the first time, so many years ago.
And when the kiss ends and I look into her eyes, shimmering with happy tears, there’s only one thing left to say.
“Let’s go home.”