Chapter 11 Sadie #2
He stays perfectly still, watching me with those intent eyes.
"I should go," I say, though my body aches to stay pressed against him, safe in the circle of his arms. "This was… I shouldn't have…"
"It's okay." His voice is gentle, fingers slowly releasing my shirt. "We don't have to figure this out tonight."
I nod, suddenly unable to look at him. My lips still burn from his kiss, the taste of him lingering on my tongue. "I need to check on Poppy."
He stands, respecting the boundary I'm desperately trying to rebuild. "Can I text you tomorrow?"
"Yes," I whisper, surprising myself with the truth of it. "I'd like that."
After he leaves, I lock the door, one, two, three times, and press my forehead against the cool glass.
My fingertips buzz like I’ve been holding live wires, and there’s a faint, trembly ache in my knees that makes it hard to trust them to keep me upright, my skin electric with the memory of his touch.
I've spent so long building walls to keep everyone out, and somehow, Axel slipped through when I wasn't looking.
The walk upstairs feels endless, my legs heavy with exhaustion. I'm still reeling from the kiss, from the confession, from the relief of finally saying the words out loud. At the top of the stairs, I fumble with my keys, hands shaking.
I push the door open to find my apartment bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp. Rowan sits on my couch, her face tight with worry. On the coffee table in front of her lies a torn envelope, the envelope from my glove compartment.
"Rowan," I breathe, ice sliding down my spine. "What are you—"
"I found it when I was getting Poppy's extra pacifier from your car." Her voice is flat, controlled. "The one you've been hiding for weeks."
I close the door behind me, leaning against it. "You had no right."
"No right?" She stands, anger flashing in her eyes. "You've been ignoring a court summons, Sadie. Dodging calls. Hiding legal papers while Elliot files for custody of Poppy."
The words hit me like a physical blow. "He can't."
"He is." She points to the papers spread across my table. "Hearing date is in three weeks. In Oregon. If you don't appear, you lose by default."
I sink onto the edge of the couch, knees suddenly too weak to hold me. "This can't be happening."
"It's been happening for months while you've been pretending it wasn't real." Rowan's voice cracks with frustration. "Why didn't you tell me? Why are you hiding from this?"
"I was protecting Poppy," I say, but the words sound hollow even to my own ears.
"By ignoring a custody battle?" She sits beside me, eyes fierce. "That's not protection, Sadie. That's denial."
I stare at the papers, the legal language swimming before my eyes. Petition for custody. Parental rights. Best interests of the child. Each phrase is a knife to my heart.
"He'll never stop," I whisper, the truth of it crushing me. "He'll keep coming until he finds us."
"So we fight," Rowan says, her hand covering mine. "We get a lawyer. We build a case. We document everything he's done."
I shake my head, panic rising. "You don't understand what he's capable of. The connections he has. The money."
"I understand that running isn't working anymore." She grips my hand tighter.
"And I understand that my sister, who's the strongest person I know, is finally letting someone in—and I won't let Elliot take that from you too."
I look up sharply. "What are you talking about?"
"Axel," she says simply. "I saw him leave. I saw your face when you came up those stairs."
My face goes flush, and I have to fight the urge to hide behind my hands.
"That's not, we're not—"
"Stop." Her voice softens. "For once in your life, Sadie, stop denying yourself something good because you're scared."
Tears spill down my cheeks. "I kissed him," I confess, the words barely audible. "And for a minute, I forgot about all of this. I just felt… safe."
Rowan wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.
"Then we make sure you stay that way. Safe. Both of you." She taps the papers. "But that means facing this head-on. No more running. No more hiding."
I stare at the custody petition, reality sinking in. Three weeks until the hearing. Three weeks to build a defense against a man who's spent years making sure I have nothing to defend myself with.
"I can't do this," I whisper. "I don't know how."
Rowan's arm tightens around me. "You're not handling this alone anymore."
I lean into her, exhaustion and fear washing over me in waves. For so long, I've carried this burden by myself, the terror, the vigilance, the constant looking over my shoulder. The weight of it crushes me anew now that it's out in the open.
"First thing tomorrow, we call Marianne," Rowan says, practical as always. "She's been trying to reach you for weeks."
I nod, too drained to argue. "What if it's not enough? What if he wins?"
"He won't," she says with fierce certainty.
"You're not the same scared woman who ran from the hospital with a newborn. You've built a life here. You have people who care about you." She pauses, then adds softly, "People who might care more than you're ready to admit."
Axel's face flashes in my mind, his gentle hands, his patient eyes, the way he kissed me like I was something precious. The thought of losing that frightens me almost as much as the thought of losing Poppy. Both possibilities leave me hollow.
"I don't know what to do with any of this," I whisper, gesturing vaguely toward the door, toward the café where Axel's kiss still lingers on my lips. "I can't drag him into my mess."
"Maybe let him decide what he can handle," Rowan suggests, gathering the court papers into a neat stack. "You don't have to tell him everything at once. But don't push him away just because you're scared."