Chapter 13
STAY FAR AWAY
ELLIOT
Harrison isn’t in school today, and neither is Margot. Mrs. Raekes said he’s sick, but I doubt it. He was just fine last night when we were playing groundball at Rowan’s. Then Margot called, he took off early, and now he’s sick.
Well, guess who’s also sick?
Margot.
I glare at their empty desks from where I sit.
I’ve been glaring for most of the day, and I don’t have any plans to stop.
Last I heard, Margot didn’t want to be Harrison’s girlfriend anymore.
Now, they’re skipping school together and not even telling me.
I’m stuck sitting here like a complete loser, and it’s almost time for lunch.
Lunch always sucks when Harrison is gone.
I have to eat lunch with Stephan and Gregg, and they only want to talk about their latest experiment.
They’re probably still trying to reanimate the hog from Gregg’s family farm.
It died last week, and supposedly, they’re “this” close to bringing it back to life.
Stephan and Gregg are liars. Harrison and I would’ve started a game of groundball with the older boys. I could probably go out there by myself, but I’m not half as good at it as Harrison. What if they won’t let me play? What if they laugh right in my face?
No, I’ll be stuck sitting with Stephan and Gregg and hearing about their half-reanimated hog.
Mrs. Raekes dismisses the class for break. I take my time collecting my lunch from the shelf, only to pause when a glimpse of black catches my attention.
Secora Reed.
I don’t know much about her. After her eventful first day, I’ve mostly steered clear of her. Secora typically clings to Margot like a fifth limb, and I’ve done everything in my power to keep Harrison from terrorizing her. It’s not that I’m not afraid of the Dark Ones. I am.
It’s just…I’ve yet to see her do anything mean or violent. She certainly hasn’t pushed anyone into the dirt.
With my lunch bag draped over my arm, I follow Secora through the crowded halls. Everyone is headed for the auditorium, the oversized room where we eat when it’s too cold to go outside.
Secora, of course, doesn’t follow everyone else.
I hardly blame her. No one aside from Margot wants anything to do with her, and since she’s not here…
Secora disappears out a side door, leading to the playground. I’m not sure if we’re allowed to go outside. I should at least ask someone if it’s okay. I can see one of the younger class’s teachers near the auditorium entrance. I could ask her. I could…
I’m already moving for the door. I shove through it, and I’m instantly struck with a harsh gust of wind. I shrink against the side of the brick building, wrapping my arms around myself.
The playground is empty. The swings jostle in rhythm with the wind, but otherwise, the world is quiet and still. Secora was only a minute ahead of me. She should be here, on one of the slides, or even sitting in the dirt. Instead, it’s like she vanished.
“Secora?” I call.
I don’t know what I’m going to say once I find her. I don’t have a reason for following her out here. I haven’t spoken to her since her first day, and I only know her name because Mrs. Raekes calls it every day when taking attendance. It’s probably weird I’m out here.
I should go back inside and accept my boring fate of lunch with Stephan and Gregg.
Instead, I venture farther onto the playground. The wind whips around me, rustling my clothes and burning cold against my cheeks.
I’m on the verge of giving up—or maybe getting help from a teacher—when I spot her. A quick flash of black clothing, stirred by the wind.
She’s back at the haunted tree, leaned against its trunk, head tilted to the sky.
I move across the playground and the grassy field separating us. Now that I can see her, I feel an unexpected sense of determination. This girl is going to like me. She’s going to like me, and if she ever decides to kill her classmates like she did her own parents, she’ll spare me.
That’s what I tell myself anyway. It feels like a good enough reason.
When I arrive at Secora’s side, I realize her eyes are closed. She might be sleeping. She’s definitely not eating lunch. From the looks of it, she doesn’t even have one. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she’s not hungry.
I stare at her for too long. Her eyes open before I have the chance to announce myself, and she yelps in surprise.
She slams back against the tree, tucking her knees to her chest. Her fists come up toward her face, braced for impact.
Her sleeves fall at the movement, revealing those shiny gold cuffs.
“I wasn’t trying to scare you,” I say. I take a small step backward and raise my palms. “I was just…what are you doing out here?”
Secora blinks at me, eyes wide, mouth unmoving.
“We’re supposed to eat in the auditorium,” I say stupidly. As if she doesn’t know. As if she cares.
“I know,” she says. Her voice is raspy.
I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. I shift on my feet, consider going back inside, decide I most definitely should. Then stand stock still.
“Is Margot sick?” I ask. “Because Harrison is supposedly sick, but I don’t believe him.”
One shoulder lifts in a half-hearted shrug.
“Come on, Secora,” I say. “You can tell me. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
Now she wraps her arms around her knees, pulling them tight. Her eyes are still on me, but they’re different now. Calculating.
“Are you hungry?” I ask. I hold my lunch bag toward her. “It’s mostly vegetables, but they’re not bad. Mama buys the good stuff.”
A slight shake of her head.
“It’s not poisoned, I swear. Here,” I say. I sit at her side, trying not to be offended when she shifts away. I remove a handful of eggroot and drop it on the skirt of her dress before she can say no. Then, I pluck one off and toss it into my mouth. “See? Not poisoned.”
That earns me the world’s tiniest smile.
“Mama Blake feeds me,” she says. “I forgot my lunch on the table this morning.”
“I do that all the time,” I say. “I bet she would’ve brought it if you sent a message.”
“She would,” Secora agrees. She takes an eggroot off her lap and scrunches her nose. I almost expect her to throw it back in my lunch bag. Instead, she takes a tentative bite.
We eat in silence for the rest of lunch. It’s only when Mrs. Raekes sticks her head out the door and yells at us for being outside that I realize how much time has passed.
“Whoops,” I say, grinning at Secora. I shove to my feet. “We should go.”
Secora drops her eyes, and for some reason, she looks ready to cry.
“We won’t get in trouble,” I say. I extend my hand to her, and only once I have, do I remember she wouldn’t take it last time. “I’ll tell her it was my fault.”
“No, don’t,” she says. She jolts to her feet, ignoring my outstretched hand. She’s already jogging for Mrs. Raekes, and I have to hurry to catch up with her. “Trust me, Elliot. It’s better if you stay far away from me.”
We’re barely out of the memory before I’m reaching for the second one. Cora says something, but I’m dizzy with desperation, with an unfamiliar need. More. I want to know more. I don’t want time to process what I’ve just seen. I want answers, and the only way to get them is with another memory.
“Is this in order?” I ask as I uncap the second jar.
“No,” Cora says. She looks as disoriented as I feel. She’s busy returning the blue memory back to its jar. “I mean, roughly. That one is age twelve too, but it won’t necessarily be consecutive.”
From beside us, Henry watches with silent fascination. I’m too greedy to acknowledge him, to ask if he saw the first memory, or whether he’d like to see the next one.
“Do you want to take a minute?” Cora asks. “We can—”
“No,” I say. “I’m ready. You can watch or not.”
I drop the red-orange memory onto the black stone, sucking in a deep breath as smoke flares up around me. The world immediately blurs, and I lean into the sensation, desperate to see it all.
Elliot Lyrie
age 12
Ochre Primary School
It’s winter in the Day Realm, but it’s uncharacteristically warm.
The sun shines brightly overhead and reflects off piles of snow.
About half of the school is outside for lunch.
We’re all bundled in thick coats and pants, boots and wool caps.
I’m late getting outside because Mama didn’t have time to pack me a lunch and I had to buy it from the school’s store.
Harrison and Margot are inside today, and I’ve never felt more relieved. Now that they’re dating again, Harrison wants her all to himself. That means he’d rather I not come around, and more importantly, that he doesn’t notice where I eat lunch instead.
I think Margot knows I’ve struck a tentative friendship with her spare sister, but I’m certain Harrison doesn’t. He’d throw a fit if he found out and undo whatever progress I’ve made. It’s taken me months to gain Secora’s trust, and I don’t doubt Harrison’s ability to ruin it.
I cross the playground and trudge through the snowy field. Of the kids outside, they’re mostly contained in the playground. With all the snow, it’s too slippery to play groundball or any other game.
I follow a solitary line of footprints through the deep snow until I arrive at Secora’s tree.
She’s sitting on her coat, curled up and chin tilted to the sky.
Her lunch bag sits open at her side, filled with a couple of empty pouches.
She’s already eaten, and now, she’s leaned back with her eyes closed. She’s not sleeping though.
I just like to daydream, she told me once. Think about the way things could be, you know what I mean?
I didn’t know what she meant, but I said that I did. I want her to think I’m smart, that I understand things. No, that I understand her.
I’m still several feet away when Secora’s eyes open. She studies me as I approach, offering a hesitant wave as I reach her side. I grin down at her, pathetically pleased with the way she’s relaxed around me.
Months and months of torture, but finally, she looks at ease when I sit next to her.
“Sorry I’m late,” I say. “I tried to convince Mrs. Raekes to let me go early, but she wasn’t having it.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” she says, giving me a tiny smile. “You didn’t have to come over here at all.”
My grin fades. Months and months of effort, and Secora still seems to think this is some form of charity.
I lean back against the tree, close enough our arms touch. She moves, just enough to keep a gap between us.
“Why do you do that?” I ask. I lay my head against the tree and close my eyes, if only so I don’t have to look at her expression. “Why do you move away? I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know,” she says.
“Then why?” I ask. “Do you not want me to touch you?”
“People don’t want to touch me, Elliot,” she says. Her voice doesn’t crack. She doesn’t sound bothered at all. “It’s okay. I know, and I understand. You don’t have to—”
“I want you to,” I say, cutting her off. I can feel myself blushing. Even my ears are hot, and I’m begging the universe that Secora isn’t looking at me. “I don’t mind if you touch me, Secora. You can touch me whenever you want.”
She’s silent for long enough I know she isn’t going to reply. She’s not going to say she wants me to touch her too. Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she wishes I’d leave her alone.
It’d be smarter for me to keep my mouth shut. Easier too. But I’ve been planning to ask this all week, and today is my last chance. If I don’t ask now, I’ll be mad at myself later and I’ll have no one to blame but myself.
“We’re going to the Hibernal Festival tomorrow,” I say. My voice cracks and I clear it, hoping she doesn’t notice. “In Hayver.”
“I know,” she says.
“There’s a dance there,” I say. My heart is beating so loud, there’s no way she can’t hear it. Harrison can probably hear it from inside the school. “We could go together. Margot and Harrison are going together anyway. We might as well—”
“Elliot,” Secora says. Her voice is utterly horrified, and I feel my face light up with embarrassment.
“Forget I said anything,” I say. I force my eyes to open, and I’m mortified to find her already staring at me. She’s shifted onto her knees, hands floating in the air, as if debating whether to reach for me. Of course, she doesn’t.
“I get you want to help me,” she says. “But that’s just going to make things worse.”
I don’t know what she’s talking about. I’m not sure how me taking her to the dance would be helping her, but I decide it doesn’t matter. She obviously doesn’t want to go. Not with me.
“Forget it,” I say again. I shove to my feet, and without looking back at Secora, I make the long walk back to the playground.
I come out of the memory gasping. Henry is saying something to me, but I don’t register it. I don’t register anything but Secora—no, Cora—looking at me. Large brown eyes, slightly parted lips.
Fuck. I had a crush on her. I liked her. My best friend’s killer, and I…liked her.
“Keep that one,” I say. I stumble off the bench, grabbing the blue memory from the table as I go. Looking over at Henry, I add, “Let’s go.”
“What in the Mother did you see?” he asks.
Relief surges through me. He wasn’t watching. He doesn’t know—and he won’t need to. I can keep this to myself, buried so deep, maybe I’ll forget it too.
I storm out of the manor, ignoring Sebastian Vulce’s watchful gaze. He was no more than twenty feet from the courtyard, fully prepared to come rescue Cora from me.
I liked her.
“Elliot—”
“Drop it,” I snap. Then, weakly, “Please.”
Henry doesn’t push me. He keeps my frantic pace out of the manor and across the Night Realm. We don’t speak a word, and I do everything I can to erase that memory from my brain.