Chapter 12
12
ELLE
I t’s been four days since Peter and I broke up. Well, technically, we’re on a break , but everyone knows what that means. We’ve all seen that episode of Friends . And, as if the weather is magically connected to my mood, it’s been raining nonstop since we returned from Savannah. Although that’s probably a good thing, since I don’t want to go outside anyway. It feels like the universe has forsaken me and I don’t deserve to enjoy a nice, sunny day.
I’ve been on autopilot at work, which really isn’t like me. Yesterday, I gave a customer incorrect change, and the day before that, I completely messed up someone's sandwich order. Even now, as I squeeze mustard onto the sub loaf, I recognize that I’m not all here. I’m always on my game at the cafe, but no matter how hard I try to focus, my thoughts keep drifting back to Peter.
I miss him.
“Um, excuse me,” the customer in front of me says, raising his eyebrow. “I asked for light mustard, and that looks… heavy.”
I purse my lips. “Yes, sir. I’ll take some off.” Using my condiment spreader, I remove most of it.
“Umm… you practically left nothing there.” His voice is nasally and insufferable and getting on my nerves.
I slam the scraper down, causing mustard to splatter on my apron, then raise the bottle in a threatening manner. “Why don’t you take this and shove it up?—”
“O-kay!” Mom swoops in, cutting me off and gently scooting me out of the way with her hip. “Seems like it’s a party over here, hmm?” She laughs nervously. “Ella Kate, would you be a dear and take out the trash for me? I’ll finish up with this handsome gentleman.” She gives him a wink and he returns her gesture with a smile before shooting me a smirk.
It takes everything I have not to roll my eyes at the annoying little man.
I drop the utensils onto the counter and head to the back to take out the trash. After opening my umbrella, I step around muddy puddles and toss the black bags into the dumpster behind the building. When I step inside again, the customer is gone and it’s just my mom in the cafe, standing assertively with her palms on her hips.
“What?” I ask, washing my hands at the sink before tying my apron back on.
“Don’t what me, young lady. What was that about?”
“It was nothing. I just lost my temper for a second. I’m sorry.”
She gives me a knowing look. “You’ve been snippy with everyone for days, Ella Kate. Now, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I reiterate, trying to think of some way out of this conversation.
“ Nothing she says,” Mom mutters under her breath. “And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Peter hasn’t come by this week, huh?” When I grimace, she claps her hands together. “I knew it! This is about Peter. What did Mister Dimples do? Did something happen between you two?”
I curl into myself, wrapping my arms around my middle. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important.”
A gentle hand rests on my shoulder and I look up to see my mom giving me a subtle smile. “Oh, honey, of course it’s important. Talk to me. Maybe I can help.”
I wanted to keep everything from her and Dad because I know how much they like him. Really like him. But when she looks at me like that, silently imploring me to share, I just can’t hide anything from her. I never could. So, I spill it all, right here in the middle of the cafe.
I tell her about my brand-new camera and our perfect day together, and how we even admitted we were falling in love with each other. But I intentionally leave out all the sex stuff because no one wants to discuss that with their mother. Then, I mention that Peter arranged for me to go to California to try out being a professional photographer, and how that led to a fight since he made that decision for me all on his own, completely ignoring all my responsibilities here at the cafe. He didn’t consult me or even consider the people who depend on me, or how I can’t just up and leave anytime I want.
My emotions start spewing out of me, and I’m breathless by the time I finish talking. Mom stays quiet the whole time, letting me word-vomit everything out. When I’m done, she starts laughing. And not a quick little ha-ha , either. No, she’s full-on belly-laughing at me. I’m shocked, flabbergasted.
How could she laugh at my pain like this? It’s certainly not very mom-like when her daughter is clearly in distress.
“Why are you laughing?” I demand.
She wipes a tear from her eye and settles down. “Because you’re being a dummy!”
“What?” My face contorts with shock.
“You should go to California, Ella Kate,” she tells me between chuckles.
“B-b-but I can’t!” I insist, confused at her response. “I can’t leave you and Dad for that long to run the business by yourselves, especially since it’ll be closer to the holidays and we usually get an uptick in tourism. This place will be a madhouse!”
“You do realize your father and I have been running this cafe long before you were born, right? And we’re not decrepit and feeble and unable to handle the day-to-day operations without you?”
“Are you saying you don’t need me?” I’m not going to lie, but my feelings are kind of hurt right now. This conversation is not going at all like I expected.
“Of course, we need you, honey. But we can certainly manage for a week or two. It’s not like we don’t have additional staff who could easily pick up your hours, if needed.” She’s trying to reassure me, but it still doesn’t feel good. Mom looks at me and sighs. “Ella Kate, what’s this really all about?”
I bristle. “What do you mean?”
“You and I both know you had absolutely no reason to blow up at that sweet man. It’s obvious he’s completely smitten with you and was just trying to do something nice. So tell me why you sabotaged things with him and stuck your big, fat foot in your mouth.”
I huff, practically pouting like a child. “I don’t have big feet.”
“Ella Kate.” Her voice is stern as she raises a single eyebrow.
“Fine.” I exhale with exasperation. “The truth is, I know you’re going to leave the cafe to me in a few years when you and Dad retire, and I want to help you as much as I can now and learn everything I need to know so I can do a good job running the business. This place is so important to our family, and I want to be able to maintain that legacy long after you’re gone.”
Mom has the gall to laugh again and I puff out my cheeks in frustration. How can she be laughing at me again?
“What’s so funny this time?” I shout, running out of patience but trying my best to be calm. This is my mother, after all, and I’ll never disrespect her.
She pulls me into her side in a half-hug. “ Long after we’re gone? We’re not dying, honey!” she exclaims with mirth. “And I hate to break it to you, but your father and I aren’t planning on retiring anytime soon.”
“You’re… you’re not?” My jaw drops.
“No, of course not! How old do you think we are? Eighty?”
I chuckle along and roll my eyes at her.
“And even when we do retire—many, many years from now, I might add—we’re planning on selling the cafe.”
“What?” I yell as another wave of shock barrels through me. “Sell it? Why would you do that?”
Mom sighs. “You’re our only child, Ella Kate, and neither of us wants you shackled to this business for the rest of your life. Let’s be honest, honey. You were a pretty boring kid growing up.” Before I can protest, she continues. “But you really come to life when you take pictures.”
My mouth snaps shut as her words sink in, reminding me of things Peter has said to me too.
“We don’t want you stuck here,” she explains. “We want you to keep working on your own passions and figure out how you want to live your life. Not the one your father and I chose for ourselves.”
“But, Mom?—“
“You know, we were pretty excited when that handsome man with all the muscles?—“
“Mother,” I chastise, not wanting to hear her describe my boyfriend like that.
She just winks and pinches my side. “That man pulled you out of your shell. You finally started living, instead of acting like a ninety-year-old grandma.”
“I can live like a grandma if I want to,” I mumble.
“But you don’t want to,” Mom counters. “You want to truly live . I know you do. You want to get outta this town and explore the world. Try new things and meet new people. You always have, but you’ve been too afraid to get out there.” Her words feel like a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
“I… I am afraid,” I finally admit, to her as well as to myself. “I want to do more than just work at my parents’ cafe. I wanna take pictures, and travel, and see my images on the walls of fancy galleries.” The words feel almost blasphemous on my tongue, but it also feels freeing, saying what’s been in my heart all along. “But what if I’m not good enough?”
“You are good enough, my sweet girl. And everyone sees it, especially Peter. That’s why he did those nice things for you. He wants you to be happy, just like your father and I do.”
“I know he does.” Guilt churns in my stomach as I remember how badly I treated him.
“Then give him a chance, and take a chance on yourself. Go to California. See where this leads. You’ll always fail if you don’t try.”
“I know you’re right. Maybe I will.”
“Atta girl!” Mom cheers as she pulls me in to her chest. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I hug her tightly. When we separate, realization dawns on me, and I gasp. “Oh my God, I’m going to California.”
Mom gives me a high five. “Damn right, you are!”
My epiphanies are on a roll right now. “And I wanna be with Peter.”
“Finally, you’re making some sense.” Mom grins. “I hate to break it to you, honey, but you’re probably the last one to realize that Peter is good for you. And men like that don’t grow on trees.”
I give her a glare but she brushes it off.
“You owe that boy an apology, missy.”
My shoulders sag. “I know. You’re right.” I bite my lip. “But what if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”
Mom’s expression turns serious for a moment. “If that happens, you’ll be okay. I promise. It’ll hurt for a while, maybe a long while. But you still have so much more in life to experience. You can’t let your fear of rejection get in the way of living to the fullest.”
“You’re right,” I tell her, making up my mind while untying my apron. “Is it alright if I leave early? I have a flight I need to book.”
“Of course, sweet girl.” She gives me a fierce hug. “I’m so proud of you, Ella Kate.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I kiss her on the cheek and head for the door. “Love you!”
“Love you more!” she shouts as I step out onto the sidewalk.
It takes me a few steps to realize I’m not getting wet on my way to my car. I look up to see the rain has stopped and the clouds have slightly parted to reveal the sun. I take a deep breath and continue walking down the street, feeling lighter than I’ve felt in years.
I think it’s time to make some life-changing plans.