Chapter 10
Today is just one shitstorm after another.
First, my aunt and uncle pushing me towards Sadie.
Then Sadie almost fucking drowning in the river over a stupid calf, and then finally that damn smirk on her face as she challenged me to kiss her.
If only there were a way to prevent her from opening her damn mouth, or some kind of filter that stopped her from saying words that filled my body with tension and warmth.
Whatever she thought she was feeling wasn’t real.
Annoyance, disdain, and general loathing.
Those were her real feelings. Her hesitation to trust me mirrored my own internal struggles with it, but for her to work on this ranch, she’s going to need to figure out how.
If she could just trust me, none of that would’ve even happened.
I pad into the bathroom, turning on the shower when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
“Hey,” I answer, stepping out into the hall.
“Hey, Kit,” Cole’s voice sounds scratchy through the phone. “I just wanted to call and thank you for your quick actions today. Where did you end up finding them?”
“You were right. They headed North towards Pine River. But we coaxed them out easily enough,” I half-lie, and it sits like a rock in my chest. I’ve never lied to my uncle, and it did not feel good.
“Good, good. How’d Sadie do?”
The weight on my chest sinks deeper. “Fine.”
He chuckles. “Well, that’s good to hear. Look, I know it’s Saturday tomorrow, but can you meet me in the morning? I have some things I need to talk to you about.”
Frustration builds in my core. “If this is about our conversation this morning—”
“No, nothing like that. It’s… well, it’s bigger than that.”
“Oh, alright,” I sigh in relief. “I’ll see you, then.”
I hang up the phone and head back into the bathroom to take a hot shower and clear my mind. Steam builds in the large space as I rest my head against the cold natural stone tiles. Hot water trickles down to my feet, swirling around on the intricately designed tile flooring.
Or you could just kiss me, Cowboy.
Her words play over in my head. Like a song you hate, and yet you can’t stop listening. Can’t stop trying to understand the meaning behind it. How could one voice be so sexy and yet so goddamn annoying?
It would be great to admit that I didn’t think about kissing her, that the thought of her lips repulsed me. But of course, I thought about kissing Sadie far too often, and it’s getting on my last nerve.
The next morning, I’m up before the sun, jolting out of a nightmare about Sadie falling into the river. Except this time, she didn’t resurface.
Sweat pools on my forehead, and there’s a raw tickle in my throat. Maybe it’s sore from the icy plunge, or perhaps I was screaming her name last night. With fear and adrenaline still pumping through my veins, I decide to visit Ryker before the meeting with Cole.
Bandit hops in the truck with me, excited for the whole ten minutes it takes to drive to his loft-style cabin on the western side of the ranch. We’d often go fishing on our days off, Ryker’s favorite hobby, but I merely tolerated it for his benefit. Running or hiking is more my style.
When we pull up to Ryker’s cabin, his Border Collie named Oreo greets us before running around the back with Bandit close behind. I bet Ryker is already out fishing this morning.
The chill in the air hits me first, pricking my nose as I take in the view, heading towards the dock. Ryker’s cabin sits next to Pine River, a suitable distance from the other surrounding log cabins.
Smooth water like glass reflects the picturesque mountain scene on the surface.
Absolutely stunning. The scent of pine fills my nose as I inhale a deep breath, exhaling water vapor.
Bandit runs up to Ryker, spreading kisses to his hands.
Ryker sits on the edge of the deck with a fishing pole in one hand and a stainless-steel mug in the other.
“Well, hey Bandit,” Ryker greets him before turning to me. “You’re here early this morning. Are you having trouble sleeping next to your hot neighbor?”
Yes, but I’m not going to admit that.
I roughly sigh, taking a seat next to Ryker, letting my feet dangle over the side of the deck. “I came to check on you.” The smell of stale beer fills my nose. I thought he was drinking coffee, but I’ll bet that mug is full of something much stronger.
“You came all this way just for me? I’m flattered.”
I frown. “You never told me what happened with Averie the other night. How did it go?” I ask.
His gaze turns to the river, taking a moment before he drinks from his mug. “She was busy,” he murmurs.
“Busy?”
“Her boyfriend showed up.”
“I see.” I didn’t understand this Averie thing, as women to him were nothing more than a means to an end. But something in his eyes shone differently when he said her name. Genuine. Something I didn’t think was possible for him. “I was going to tell you—”
“I already knew, but I was hoping to change her mind,” he grins, crinkling his mustache. “She did admit that she likes my dimples, so that’s something.” He sips from his mug, pretending he’s fine. But I know he’s hurting.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I offer.
He laughs, setting down his mug. “Not even a little bit.”
He reaches into the pocket of his flannel, pops a lid, and swallows three white pills before I can stop him.
I reach for him. “What the fuck, Ry—”
He smacks my arms away. “Oh, calm down. It’s just Advil for my hangover. If you can’t tell by the smell, I had a pretty late night last night.”
My heart races, trying to recall the look of the pills, double-checking to make sure he’s telling the truth. I thought he was past all this type of behavior… what have I been missing?
“I’m being honest. Just Advil,” he lifts his hands, noticing the panic in my eyes.
“You swear?” I stare into his brown eyes.
He reaches into his coat, pulling out a small container of Advil. “See? I told you I’m clean.”
“Good,” I mutter. “You better be.”
Last year, he spent four months in rehab.
A wagon he’s been on and off before, and I don’t want to watch him go through it again.
It was hard enough begging my uncle to let him stay on the ranch after that entire ordeal.
If it happened again… well, I don’t think Cole could look the other way again.
And this ranch was good for Ryker. Hell, it was good for all of us, but especially Ryker.
Some days, I think he needed it more than I did.
“And you smell really bad,” I grumble. Stale beer and fish, which is a terrible combination.
He laughs. “Sorry.”
We sit for a moment in silence, watching the sun rise behind the mountains.
Bright orange and pink hues fill the never-ending Montana sky.
A ray of light beams on the snowy peaks, highlighting the snow in gold.
But as beautiful as the view is, I’m still worried that Ryker is struggling more than he lets on.
I glance at the military tag around his neck, glinting in the soft morning light. “If you need help, Ryker—”
His hand lands on my shoulder, holding it firm. “I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.”
But I am worried about him. Ryker is like a younger brother to me, and I can’t see him hurt like that again.
“But you should be worrying about this hot neighbor situation,” he smirks. “When are you gonna do something about that?”
I sigh. “I’m not having this conversation again.”
“Because it’s too hard?” he grins.
I glare with animosity. Good thing I didn’t mention Sadie offering to go to her knees for me. He’d never stop mocking me. “No, because I do not like Sadie like that,” the words shake unevenly in my chest, giving away my lie.
He laughs. “You are seriously in denial.”
“No, I’m not,” my voice cracks. Fuck I’m a terrible liar. It’s like my whole body just rejects it.
“What happened with Alaska?” he asks. “Is that what’s preventing you from having a little fun?”
“No,” I roll my tongue. “She said what she needed to say. And… well, I don’t know.
” I still haven’t truly processed her words to me.
Only that she’s right. I don’t feel the same way.
I’m still not sure what I felt for her all those months ago, but Alaska deserves better than lukewarm feelings, especially now that she’s going to be a mother.
“It’s all in the past now, I guess.”
He nods.
I glance at my wristwatch. My meeting with Cole starts in ten minutes. “I need to get going.” I stand, feeling a cold breeze bite my skin. “What are your plans for today?” I tuck my hands into my pockets.
“Fishing,” he smiles, gesturing to the river. “Come join me after you decide to man up.”
“You’re hard to like, you know that?” I frown at him.
“Yeah, I know. Good thing I’m easy to love,” he teases, stroking his mustache. I shake my head, and he stands, setting the fishing pole down on the dock. “Why’d you really come here this morning?”
“To check on you,” I reiterate.
He shakes his head. “You’re my best friend, man. I can tell when something’s on your mind. What is it?”
I stare at my boots. “I’m fine.”
He stifles a laugh. “You’re not fine. Fuck, you haven’t been fine in over nine months. You’re mildly depressed. Angry. Damn near antisocial, and I don’t blame you. But you know,” he steps closer to me. “That night at the bar is the most alive I’ve seen you in a long time.”
My eyes narrow. “Don’t you start—”
“Just saying, she does something to you,” he interjects.
“She irritates me,” I snap.
He laughs. “Yeah, I saw that too. But there’s something else, isn’t there? Something you can’t explain,” he searches my eyes.
And that’s when I’m at a loss for words, because as much as I hate it, there is something about Sadie.
Something that stirs inside me whenever she’s around.
I’d love to say that it’s only burning hatred, but I don’t hate her.
I don’t even know if I truly like her, but there is something…
fuck, why is there something? My life was just fine before she came along.