Chapter 12
After my morning meeting with Cole—the most devastating meeting I’ve ever had—I head home with Bandit at my side.
Tossing some hay in the pasture for Smoke and then Sugar, too, because it doesn’t seem fair to feed one and not the other.
I check that both water tanks aren’t frozen, stopping dead in my tracks when I find my flannel hanging off the railing.
The one I lent Sadie.
I sigh, bringing it inside. Not wanting to deal with the emotions that come with it, crashing into bed as soon as I walk through the door. Bandit curls up beside me, happy to take a late morning nap.
But as tired as I am, my mind won’t stop racing.
Cole has lung cancer. He could possibly—I can’t even think the words. There’s no way in hell I’m losing Cole.
I’ve lost enough people.
On top of that, Cash wants Lone Pine. His “inheritance,” or so he claims, but Cash never appreciated this ranch. And he definitely doesn’t fucking deserve it. I don’t even know why he’d want Lone Pine, except to sell it.
And he would sell it.
Make his millions and go back to the city, and everyone here would lose their jobs, their lifestyles, and their homes. I’m not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life in Aspen Hollow, but I could never let Lone Pine fall into Cash’s greedy hands. Not if I can help it.
After all that my aunt and uncle have done for me, caring for me after my mother died, taking care of the broken man who ran from San Francisco… I had no choice but to accept a promotion to Ranch Manager.
A step in the right direction, Cole called it.
But there’s already enough stress on my shoulders as a Foreman, and now, there would be even more. It’s all too much. I don’t want it, any of it, but I can’t refuse him. I can’t tell him the truth. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to let him down.
You have until Christmas Eve to decide.
His words echo in my mind, and then my overwhelming thoughts consume me, pulling me under.
Soft orange light envelops me as I open my eyes.
Sunset. Damn, I must’ve slept for a solid six hours.
My body still feels asleep as I roll out of my dark timber-framed bed and open the glass sliding door, walking onto my deck. Bandit runs out into the snow, joyously frolicking in the powder.
Sadie’s truck is gone, and I can’t remember if I saw it on my way home or not. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there this morning. Any other day, and it would be a relief to know she’s not here to distract me, but I need to know if she got the chest X-ray.
For my own peace of mind.
After texting Blake to ask for her number, because of course he’d have it, considering he was assigned to work with her, I sent her a quick message. Pulling out my sketchbook to draw a few ideas for Cole and Annie’s kitchen to distract myself from the apprehension on my mind.
But thirty minutes later, there’s still no response. She’s either ignoring me, or something’s wrong.
I sigh with frustration, texting her again.
Kit:
Where are you, Sadie?
The sun disappears behind the snowy mountains, leaving looming shadows in its wake. The winding roads are dangerous at this time of night, especially during winter, and especially for that old truck of hers.
Fuck, I do care about her.
I don’t want to, but fuck… I do. And I need to know if she’s okay.
Kit:
Does your dinosaur phone not receive texts?
My calloused hands scrape over my face. The scruff feels longer than I like, but I can’t find it in myself to care. There is a small chance that her phone can’t receive text messages, judging by its prehistoric make. Maybe she’s fine?
Or maybe she’s stranded somewhere on the side of the frozen road.
Just when I’m about to call her to find out where she is, to ease the worry in my chest, she finally replies.
Sadie:
I’m on a date, Cowboy. My phone works just fine.
A date? But still no mention of the X-ray.
Her words linger in my mind for minutes, and I hate the way it tastes of acid in my mouth. The way that one word sends tremors through my fingers. It shouldn’t bother me that she’s on a date. I have no claim, nor do I want one.
But even thinking those thoughts hurts me even more. She’s all I’ve thought about since the day she moved in, and no matter how hard I try to deny it, that truth is eating me alive.
I stare at my flannel hanging by the fire. Pain radiates in my chest, heavy, crushing pain that drifts to my neck. It seems I was right all along. Her feelings for me were never real. It was just a game. Just as it always was with women.
She never wanted me.
It was all just a fucking game.
I slam my phone on the kitchen counter and head back to bed. Trying to forget my frustration, but all I can do is lie there and think about Sadie, gazing at the ceiling until darkness finds me.
The snow is melting as I sit on my front porch with Bandit, gazing out at the frosted pasture, shimmering in the morning light. The air feels warmer as coffee wafts in my face, and for the first time in months, I no longer feel tired, but rested and awake.
But sleeping for fifteen hours will do that to you.
I glance at my wristwatch, checking the time. Anxiety stirs in my gut, taking up too much space in my overwhelmed mind at Sadie’s missing truck. And the fact that she never came home last night.
“Let it go, Kit,” I huff to myself, blowing out hot air.
Bandit turns to me, tilting his ears.
My leg shakes as I glance at her cabin once more.
At war with myself. Debating on calling Sadie to ease my worries.
Is that rational? Nothing about how I’m feeling is coherent.
Bandit puts his head between my shaking legs, attempting to soothe my anxiety before it tears me apart.
I scratch him behind the ears and pull out a cigarette, lighting it up when her truck finally appears over the ridge.
Except another truck pulls up behind her. One that I recognize.
What the hell is Blake doing here?
She steps out of her old truck. Fox jumps out after her, running towards her front porch while Sadie approaches Blake’s truck, smiling about something. Too big of a smile. And that’s when I realize he was the one who took Sadie on a date. The burning sensation in my chest is back with force.
“Good morning,” Blake waves to me as Sadie heads to her house. Giving me a smile that pisses me off before driving away.
I wave back as he goes, but it’s half-assed.
“She returns,” I holler from my porch. A cigarette hangs in the corner of my mouth, wafting smoke in my face.
She gazes up at me and flinches. “You smoke?”
Her question catches me off guard. “Sometimes.” Only when I’m stressed or pissed off, like I am right now. “Why?”
What did it matter to her?
She stares at me for a moment as something sad passes behind her eyes. But then she sighs, rolling her shoulders as she recomposes herself back to hatred. “Well, I thought you’d be happy I was gone. Did you get that quiet time you needed, Cowboy?”
I blow out a thick cloud of smoke. “Were you on a date with Blake?” I blurt before I can stop myself.
She shrugs, ignoring me, ascending her porch steps.
“I’ll take that as yes,” I mutter, taking a long drag.
She closes her door after Fox follows her in, and it stirs something hot inside me. After putting out my cigarette in the ashtray, I saunter over to her door, knocking three times with force. I’m sick of being ignored.
“What, Cowboy?” she roughly cracks open the door.
“Did you get the chest X-ray?”
She glances down, biting her lip. “I forgot.”
“You… what?”
She shrugs.
My head starts to throb, jaw clenching tight. The words on her form-fitting T-shirt say, Chase Whiskey, Not Cowboys. Funny because it seems she’s doing the exact opposite. “Yet you had time to go on a date. All goddamn night.”
She purses her lips. “Sounds like you’re jealous.”
I grind my molars. “Grab your coat. We’re going now.”
Her mouth drops. “What?”
“You heard me.”
She laughs, but it’s uneasy. “Look, Cowboy. I’m fine.” She opens the door wider, gesturing to herself. Tight black jeans. Long, thick caramel hair braided in two.
It almost hurts to look at her.
“It’s really not necessary,” she adds.
Tension radiates in my body. I take a few steps back, needing to make some distance. “Fine. Then you’re fired.” If there’s one good thing about being promoted to Ranch Manager, this is it.
“Excuse me?” The happiness in her face deflates. Worry lines crease her forehead.
“You’re fired,” I repeat, and it feels cold, even for me.
“You—you can’t do that,” she says, but she’s unsure.
“Yes, I can. I’ve been promoted to Ranch Manager.”
She blinks in surprise, staring at me with new eyes.
My patience is wearing thin. “What’ll it be, Tequila?”
She frowns, grabbing her coat from the coat rack. “You can be such a pain in the ass.”
“Likewise,” I mutter, and she follows me towards my truck, grumbling under her breath.
Two and a half hours later, we’re sitting in the doctor’s office awaiting her results.
Neither of us has said a word since we left the ranch.
Every time I think of something to say, it dies on my lips when I meet her big brown eyes.
Eyes that only held hatred and annoyance for me.
It should be what I want… but her glares feel like pinpricks to my heart.
Piercing tiny holes in the soft flesh.
After a while, the doctor comes in and tells us the X-ray looks good, but he’s not happy she was out drinking last night, considering the incident.
Something I also feel strongly about.
“A girl’s gotta have a little fun,” she smiles playfully.
The Doctor frowns at her, and I do the same. “Take it easy next week. Come back if anything changes.” He hands the paperwork to me and leaves the room.
We hop into my truck, and as soon as I start the engine, she finally speaks, breaking our silence. “Well, are you satisfied?” she asks, crossing her arms.
“I wouldn’t call today satisfying.” I put my truck into drive, heading onto Hollow Boulevard. Sleet falls from the sky, making the roads slick as we curve around heading North.