Chapter 13
Something in Kit has changed.
I thought he was grumpy the moment we met, but he’s ten times grumpier now.
Maybe it’s the stress of his new promotion, or maybe this is just who he is—the grumpiest man in Northern Montana.
I’ve seen him a few times in the past two days, running around, keeping his eyes on every-one and everything, completely absorbed in his duties.
And although his lingering eyes always seem to find me, he’s barely spoken two words to me.
I still can’t believe I found him smoking on his front porch last night. Kit is an entirely different person from my ex-husband… but still, my mind will not cease to make comparisons. To wonder if Kit would ever hurt me in the same way.
Thoughts that sicken me to my core.
Last night I waited for him to come home. To question him about it, but then once he was in front of me, I froze. Despite my frustration with him, the feelings burning in my heart came rushing back in his presence, and my mind went blank.
Fine.
He’d said.
But he wasn’t fine, and I don’t know what I did wrong or why he turned so cold. He was acting as if I’d run over his dog or kicked his grandma—things I would never do.
Over the past two days, I’ve been working extra shifts, practicing the guitar, making frequent visits to see Averie, and consuming a shit-ton of iced peppermint mochas with way too many marshmallows on top. I’m surprised I don’t have diabetes.
But this silence between us is getting under my skin.
I’m tempted to knock on his door and demand what his problem is, but Averie’s fancy white Jeep pulls up before my impulsivity takes over. And lucky for him, he’s not here.
The fireplace crackles as we settle in on my leather couch with a thick cream blanket draped over us and a cup of hot cocoa in each hand. Extra marshmallows in mine, of course. Fox curls up on the faded rug in front of the fireplace, belly up. One of her favorite sleeping positions.
We planned this evening to celebrate early Thanksgiving, or “Friendsgiving” if you will.
Averie wanted me to join her family for lunch in two days, but as much as I loved the idea, I didn’t want to miss out on my first holiday at the ranch.
And there’s supposed to be a party at the Mess Hall.
Free food and drinks, and that sounded like too much fun to pass up.
So, date-night it is.
“This house is so cute,” she glances around, admiring the cozy and rustic aesthetic of my cottage-style home decorated in an assortment of Christmas decorations I recently purchased.
As well as a new poster of David Bowie with the quote, I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise it won’t be boring. “It fits you well,” she finishes.
“It’s the best home I’ve ever had,” I admit after a pause.
Sadness settles into her happy aura. “Nebraska sounds like it was awful to you.”
My throat tightens. “It was.” I stare at the marshmallows in my hot cocoa, not sure what else to say.
Averie nudges me out of my sadness. “Are you sure you want to attend Cowboy Thanksgiving instead of joining your super awesome celebrity best friend?”
“You know I wish I could.” And I did. But Blake is also looking forward to taking me to the party. If only I could be in two places at once. “Please tell your family I’m thankful for the invite.”
“Of course,” she smiles. “So, how’s the ranch going?”
“Every day is a dream come true.”
The fresh air, surr-ounded by horses, wildlife, and a stunning backdrop of the Rocky Mountains… I’d be happy to stay at Lone Pine Ranch for the rest of my life.
My phone vibrates on the wooden coffee table in front of us, but we ignore it.
“I’m not surprised, considering you’re surrounded by attractive cowboys all day,” she winks at me.
I smile. “There is that.”
“But I don’t know… spending every day straddling a horse while covered in dirt? It doesn’t sound fun to me.” She brushes lint off her leggings as if dirt and dust offend her.
I stifle a laugh. Averie isn’t built for ranching life, but that’s okay. I could never be a singer or perform on a stage. We’re different people, but I feel that our hearts still beat the same. With the same fire deep in our souls.
My phone vibrates again, grabbing our attention.
Averie glances at it, smiling. “Speaking of straddling… is Blake upset that I’m occupying your time tonight?”
Reaching for my flip phone, I scroll through Blake’s messages, ignoring my discomfort from Averie’s remark about straddling. As great as that would be with him, it makes me feel anxious just thinking about it. “He’s at the bar with his friends. He says to have fun tonight.”
Averie smiles. “That’s sweet.”
“He is,” I confirm. Sweeter than I deserve, and one of the kindest men I’ve ever met.
Not to mention he’s handsome as hell, a pure gentleman, and a fun person to hang out with.
But after two dates, I’m still not sure if I feel that way about him, that I want anything more than a friendly relationship.
Something must be deeply wrong with me.
The wires in my brain must’ve crossed in the worst way, because here I am with a rugged man like Blake Dalton, and yet I’m holding back. It should be a crime against women everywhere.
“It’s a shame you don’t really like him,” Averie grins.
“I like him,” I defend. Damn, how can she see right through me?
“Have you kissed him yet?” she challenges.
A lump forms in my throat. “Well, no.” Even I’m mad at myself for that fact. I need to get my shit together.
“Is it because you still want someone else?” Her smile turns into a smirk as she glances at the frosted window towards Kit’s house.
Deep crimson flushes in my cheeks. “What? No.” But she doesn’t look convinced. “He hates me. He won’t even speak to me. He runs away at the mere sight of me.” Literally something he did three days ago.
“And when you think about kissing Kit, how does it make you feel?” she pushes.
Heat swells inside, threatening to burst. “It makes me feel…” But just the thought of him and the attraction I have for him makes me feel guilty as fuck. “Look, it doesn’t matter because he hates me,” my arms dig into my ribs.
All that everyone has been talking about for the past two days is the fact that Kit was promoted.
Except he didn’t seem particularly happy about it, but when was Kit ever happy?
However, he has been working himself like a dog, so maybe there’s a small part of him that wanted it… that wanted to work for it.
“Besides, he’s the Ranch Manager now,” I add.
“And that’s bad because…” Averie struggles to understand my reasoning.
“Well, he’s the manager now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes over someday.” Cash Harlow is supposed to be the next heir, but I haven’t seen him since he tried to dance with me that night at the bar. And to be honest, Kit’s a much better fit for this place than that fancy-suited man.
Regarding my feelings… it’s better that I don’t cross lines that could ruin my chances of staying here. No matter how much the thought of him burns me up inside.
“So, if you marry him, all of this could be yours?” she grins.
Her words sit like ice in my chest. “That’s not helping.” It would be a dream come true to have a permanent place on this ranch… but marriage? That’s an absolute fuck no. Never again. I’d rather run butt naked in the street. “I’m not looking for marriage.”
She eyes me up. “Then, what are you looking for?”
Fun. Freedom. Unlimited marshmallows for the rest of my life. “Not commitment,” I confirm.
Truck lights flash, bringing me towards the window in a few strides to check the driveway.
“You expecting someone?” Averie eyes me warily.
She doesn’t understand my fear. Nor do I want her to know that every night when the sun goes down, fear controls me.
The same as it’s been for the past year.
And lately, the feeling has been getting worse.
The more winter settles in, the darker it gets, leaving shadows in its wake, and it’s the shadows I’m afraid of.
“No, I’m not expecting anyone,” I finally say, letting out a deep exhale. Thankfully, it’s only Kit pulling into his driveway. It’s the first time I’ve seen his truck here in days, like he’s been avoiding coming home the same way he’s been avoiding me at work.
Proof of how much he hates me.
“I need something stronger.” I take off to the kitchen to trade this hot cocoa for something that will make me forget all about him.
The only thing getting me through today is the promise of a party tomorrow. The weather has been shit. Ungodly cold and windy. Even the cows have been protesting today with loud moos and an unwillingness to follow directions. Which is not a great combination for my slight hangover.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, lighting up Cole’s name.
“Hey Cole,” I answer, using my leather-gloved hand to block the wind from the microphone.
“Hey, Sadie,” he says happily. “We’re wondering if you have any dinner plans tonight?”
Dinner? Is he serious?
The only plan I have this evening is a bowl of cereal and several glasses of whiskey over ice, but the way he said we has my head spinning. Who else is inviting me?
“You’re asking me to dinner? Are you sure you called the right person?” I’ve never had a family dinner.
Cole chuckles. “I sure did. We’d love to have you.”
Warmth fills my chest. “Well, I’m surprisingly very free this evening.”
“Good to hear. Come by around five?”
“I’ll be there.”
Well, now I have two things to look forward to. But just to make sure there’s nothing amiss about this dinner, I text Blake.
Sadie:
Cole invited me to dinner.
Blake:
Lucky you. Annie’s cooking is the best.
Sadie:
So, you know nothing about this?
Blake:
No clue. Have fun tonight. Maybe tomorrow I can show you up at the pool table.
Sadie:
Show you how to lose, you mean?
Blake:
That’s the only move you know ;)
Sadie:
Ouch, B. My pool skills are wounded.