Chapter 19
When I asked Kit to check on Fox, I’d forgotten about my quick session with my vibrator. And embarrassingly enough, his photograph from the newspaper helped me get there faster than I ever have.
After our encounter in the loft, my body felt like an electric current, humming with desire and need. My vibrator helped me find a release so I could focus again. So that the sensation of his lips would stop driving me crazy.
But he started it. It was only necessary I finish it.
Averie called when I hopped out of the shower. The sounds of her crying and upset put me into a state of panic. I rushed out the door shortly after throwing on a sweatshirt and jeans, texting Kit on the way, completely forgetting about what I left behind. But I’m glad I did.
Receiving his texts last night was the best part of my night.
I shivered at the thought of him watching me get off, and the fact that he admitted he wanted me?
Hot hot. I was thoroughly distracted. Enough that I had to turn my phone off to stop looking at his messages and try to be the friend Averie needed.
The whole Josh fiasco took much longer than expected. To be frank, Josh sounded like a whiny bitch. The kind of man who only made a woman cry because he needed attention. Because he was jealous.
Apparently, he’s upset Averie wasn’t coming back to Nashville for Christmas.
And not because he wants to be with her, but because he wants to go to a Christmas party that he can’t get into without her.
Low-list actors aren’t allowed in, but Averie is an up-and-coming country star, so she was personally invited.
My past relationship used to always make me feel guilty, like I was the reason for the heartache.
Like I was the reason he kept hurting me.
Maybe I’m wrong, but from my own experience, Josh doesn’t seem like a decent guy.
Definitely not a guy who deserves to be with such a talented and gorgeous goddess as Averie Knox.
In the end, she gave in. Promising to come back for Christmas.
Even though I disagreed with her decision, there wasn’t much I could do.
She was smitten with him, and I knew that feeling, too.
The feeling when you love something that’s wrong for you, but all you can do is try to love it harder, like love will be the thing that fixes it.
That fixes him. But you can’t fix abusive. Mental or otherwise.
And I learned that the hard way.
When I finally awake, I’m covered in Kit’s fresh scent of pine trees and rain, with a hint of warm spice that makes my core clench.
I pull the covers around me tighter, wanting to stay in this moment of comfort.
Remembering the smile on his face this morning and the sexy glances he gave me over breakfast that put me in such a state of bliss, I almost fell asleep at his dining table.
The sweetest gesture anyone has ever done for me.
Foxie’s there a second later, kissing my face. Pulling me out of my dream-like haze. “Foxie,” I laugh, lightly pushing her away, scrubbing my eyes as I sit up, taking in the large room.
Evening light filters in through the glass sliding doors, leading to a porch covered in snow.
The stone fireplace in his room is lit with only embers now.
Antlers hang above with a stunning painting of an elk with a mountainous backdrop.
Two photos sit on his mantle. One of Cole and Annie, and one of Ryker, holding a massive fish in his hands.
Other than that, the room is covered in flannel, fur rugs, and wild animal scenes—a true mountain man.
After taking out my messy bun, running my hands through my hair, and thoroughly primping myself in the bathroom that connects to his room, I head out into the hall.
“Kit?” I call out, but there’s no answer.
When I find him, he’s chopping vegetables in the kitchen, completely oblivious to my presence. A pair of earbuds sits in his ears as he mouths lyrics to a song I don’t recognize, a few words escaping here and there.
The sight of him in a navy singlet, muscles rippling, gym pants, and a backward ballcap has me swooning. And when his hips start to sway to the rhythm, head bobbing along, I nearly collapse on his kitchen island. Holding my face in my hands while smiling at him in wonder, crushing on him so hard.
He turns a heartbeat later, setting down the knife. “Shit,” he murmurs, taking out his earbuds. “Sorry, I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, but this,” I point to him. “All of this is really nice, Cowboy.” And is he cooking? Again?
He laughs, cheeks flushing crimson. “I meant to shower before you woke up.” He follows my gaze to the steaks, lying on the counter. “I’m making dinner.”
“Kit, you really don’t have—”
“I want to,” he interrupts, stepping towards me, taking my face in his hands. “I hope you like steak.” Before I can answer, to remind him we’ve had steak before, his lips find mine. He kisses me softly as I curl my body into his sweat-covered torso. Damn, he feels so strong.
He pulls back. “Sorry, I probably smell.”
He does, but I don’t care.
My hands find his chest, thoughts racing. “So this morning… did we talk after you carried me to your room?” All I remember is Kit lying me down in his bed and pulling over the covers, but I swear he said something to me.
Something important.
“A bit,” his body tenses.
“And?” Is he trying to be cryptic and annoying?
He sighs roughly. “You asked why I was being so nice to you. I told you that’s who I am, that I can’t help it.”
Bits and pieces of the memory come flowing back to me. The texture of his deep voice, the tender way he brushed my face to push back my hair. The way I felt all warm and fuzzy inside by the sheer sweetness of him.
“Then you told me you liked me.” My cheeks burn hot at the memory, bringing a smile to his lips. The pad of his thumb caresses my blush, driving me insane. “And I said that I still need to think about it.”
He is such a liar. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”
He smiles. “I can be.”
My mouth opens, also remembering we talked briefly about Lone Pine, but then it’s met by his lips crushing mine, and I forget all about it.
His hands move to my hips, pulling me closer.
Slowly making their way to my ass as he kisses me deeper, and his tongue enters my mouth.
I whimper, already burning for him. But as good as this is, he could really use a shower.
And that’s when the idea strikes me.
I pull away, grabbing his hand, leading him away from the kitchen towards his master bathroom. It’s time to strip him down.
“Sadie, I’ve got steaks to—”
“They can wait a damn minute.” Or forty-five. Or whenever I decide to be done with him. I’ve waited long enough for this moment.
After I pull him into the bathroom, I turn on the hot water in his large shower. Natural stone tiles line the walls, and water falls from the shower head like rain. His quiet gaze roams over me as I pull off his ballcap and navy singlet, dropping them on the floor.
He’s even more ripped than I imagined, with the body of a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection. “Damn, Cowboy.” My hand finds the tattoo on his left pec. Roman numerals with a single black rose woven through.
“Your turn.” Steam fills the space around us as he pulls off my sweatshirt, kissing me softly while his hands run under my tank top. He slips it off in my next breath, leaving me in a lacy blue bra.
“Damn, Tequila,” he smirks, and then his hand finds my chin, stroking it softly with his thumb. “Are you sure you want this?” His bright blue eyes search mine.
“Do you want me?” I turn the question back.
He smiles, the kind of smile that makes your knees weak. “I want you.” The shaky, rough texture of his voice sends goosebumps trailing on my skin.
My lips find his in response, wrapping my arms around his neck. Enjoying the sensation of my skin against his, the way we fit together so perfectly. The way his erection makes my core clench, and my insides sing as it pushes against me.
“Let me get a condom, quick,” he says against my lips.
“IUD. I’m good.” I place his hands back on my hips, waiting for him to continue.
He hesitates, assessing me. “Just so you know, I’m clean.”
“I have no doubts.”
His calloused hands squeeze my hips, moving towards my bra strap. Drifting to the middle of my back.
I flinch, shoving him back with force.
“I’m—I’m sorry,” he says quickly, removing his hands. “I didn’t—”
“It’s okay,” I tell myself to breathe, to forget about the fear roaring in my mind. To forget about the trauma.
Breathe Sadie. You’re here with Kit. Kit.
“Sadie, did I do something wrong?”
He did, but he didn’t know. “I just—I don’t like being touched there. On my back,” my voice comes out breathless, panicked. “I’m sorry.”
He hesitates, stepping back. “Sadie, I—”
I grab his hands, placing them on my lower back, ignoring my panicked heart. “Here is good.” I slide them down to my ass, holding them firm. “And here,” my mouth quirks to the side. “You already know I like to be touched down there.”
“Why?” Worry and fear shine in his eyes. “I remember that night when Alaska was—”
I put a finger to his lips, shaking my head. There’s no way we’re talking about that now. Or ever.
I don’t want to remember.
“Please focus, Kit.” He tries to speak, but I press my finger harder against his lips. “Stop thinking. Just be here with me, okay? I want this. I want you.”
He takes a moment, studying me with a pained look in his blue eyes. Eventually giving in with a nod.
In one quick motion, I unclasp my bra and shimmy out of my jeans, thong, and socks, standing naked before him.
Heat burns through me as he takes me in, looking at me in a way no one else ever has.
A look filled with desire, but softer, kinder than I’ve ever been looked at.
Like he sees more than a body, and I’m slightly terrified he can see the real me.
The girl I never want him to see.
“You’re fucking stunning,” he says in awe.