Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
Percy
The bass from the speakers pounded through my chest, but I barely felt it. A week had passed since we’d discovered Jupiter’s betrayal, and each day without her had been torture. The phantom pain of our strained bond still throbbed like an open wound.
Melissa shifted on my lap, her lips trailing along my neck as she pressed herself closer. Her perfume was too sweet, cloying in a way that made my head ache. Or maybe that was just the fifth drink I’d downed in the last hour.
“You’re so tense,” she murmured, her fingers working at the knots in my shoulders. “Let me help you relax.”
I didn’t respond, just stared out at the swim hole where dozens of people were partying.
Someone, probably a Cancer zodiac, had cast illumination spells that made the water glow an ethereal blue beneath the starry sky.
It was beautiful in a distant, meaningless way, like looking at a painting I couldn’t bring myself to care about.
Melissa’s hand slid under my shirt, her nails raking lightly across my chest. I knew I should feel something, like desire, interest, anything. But there was nothing. Just a hollow emptiness where Jupiter had been.
Jupiter. Even thinking her name sent a fresh wave of rage and pain crashing through me.
“Percy,” Melissa whispered, turning my face toward hers. “Look at me, not through me.”
I focused on her face. Objectively, she was beautiful with her full lips and wide eyes. She’d been after me for years, and had made no secret of wanting to be our axis. Now she had her chance, was practically throwing herself at me, and I couldn’t summon even a flicker of interest.
Because her hands weren’t Jupiter’s hands. Her lips weren’t Jupiter’s lips. Her eyes weren’t silver.
I pushed the thought away violently. Jupiter was nothing but a liar. A myth bitch who’d manipulated her way into our lives, our shield, our beds. The Assembly’s perfect weapon aimed right at our hearts.
Across the clearing, I spotted Aiden talking to a group of second-years, a bottle dangling from his fingers. He hadn’t been sober in days. None of us had, really. Drowning in alcohol was easier than facing the reality of what had happened.
Draco stood alone by the tree line, watching everyone with that detached, analytical expression he wore like armor now. He’d retreated into himself since Jupiter left, speaking only when necessary, spending hours in the library researching ways to break a bond.
“Did you hear what happened in combat class today?” Melissa asked, pulling me from my thoughts. She didn’t wait for an answer. “Your ex tried to partner with Valeria for sparring, and Rafe absolutely lost it. Told her no Dreadwatch member would ever train with a lying manipulator.”
Something twisted in my gut at the image of Jupiter, alone and ostracized. I crushed the feeling immediately. She deserved every bit of it.
“The whole school knows what she did now,” Melissa continued, clearly delighted by Jupiter’s downfall.
The story had spread like wildfire through Dominion, embellished with each telling until Jupiter had been transformed from the miracle 13th zodiac into a pariah, a cautionary tale.
I’d done nothing to correct the rumors. In fact, I’d encouraged them with my silence, with my barely concealed contempt whenever her name was mentioned.
Movement caught my eye as Eris stumbled toward the woods with Lyssa, his arm slung around her shoulders. He was laughing too loudly, the sound brittle and forced. Lyssa looked triumphant as she guided him deeper into the darkness, her hands already working at his belt.
I should have felt something. Concern for my shield brother, anger at Jupiter for reducing us to this, something. Instead, I just took another drink, letting the alcohol burn a path down my throat.
“You know,” Melissa said, her voice dropping to a seductive whisper, “We could get out of here. Go somewhere more private.” Her hand slid down my chest, coming to rest dangerously close to my belt buckle. “I could help you forget all about her. I’ll fuck you until you forget her name.”
I looked at her then, really looked at her. She was everything Jupiter wasn’t—predictable, easy to read, desperate for approval. There was no mystery to her, no challenge, no fire that threatened to consume everything in its path.
“Sure,” I heard myself say, the word falling from numb lips. “Why not.”
She smiled, victorious, and climbed off my lap, holding out her hand. I took it mechanically and let her lead me away from the party, past students who watched us with knowing eyes.
“I heard she’s been hiding in her room for days,” Melissa said as we walked. “Probably ashamed to show her face after what she did. Can you believe she actually had the nerve to try to explain herself to Professor Hartwell? As if anyone would believe a word she says now.”
I should have told her to shut up, that I didn’t want to talk about Jupiter. But some sick part of me needed to hear it, needed to keep the wound fresh so I wouldn’t forget what she’d done to us.
“The funniest thing is how she still claims she didn’t write those emails,” Melissa continued with a cruel laugh. “Like they just appeared out of nowhere. God, she’s pathetic.”
We reached the edge of the lake where it was darker, more secluded. Melissa turned to face me, pressing her body against mine as her hands slid up my chest.
“I’ve wanted you back for so long,” she breathed, her lips inches from mine. “I’ve watched you waste your time with that myth bitch when I was right here, waiting. I would never lie to you, Percy. Never manipulate you.”
She kissed me then, her lips soft and eager against mine. I kissed her back mechanically, my hands settling on her waist. I tried to lose myself in the sensation, tried to feel something beyond the dull ache in my chest.
But all I could think about was Jupiter, and how her body felt under me.
The little sounds of pleasure she made as I fucked her deep and slow.
The way my heart raced out of my fucking chest whenever she even looked my way.
And I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said to my dad. How she defended me.
Melissa’s hand found its way under my shirt again, her fingers tracing patterns on my skin that should have excited me but left me cold.
Her touch was wrong—too light, too tentative.
It lacked the confidence, the innate understanding of what I needed that Jupiter had possessed from the first moment.
She dropped to her knees, unzipping my pants and pulling my cock free. When her lips closed over me, I was only half-hard, and only because of the memory of Jupiter’s lips on my skin. Melissa sucked me like her life depended on it, but I started to soften.
“Percy,” Melissa murmured looking up at me with a frown. “You’re not even hard.”
I pulled back, running a hand through my hair in frustration, then tucked myself back into my pants, feeling like I was going to vomit. “I can’t do this.”
She sighed, a scowl making her look petulant as she stood, dirt caking on her knees. “It’s her, isn’t it? Even after everything, you’re still hung up on her.”
“It’s not that,” I lied. “I’m just not in a good place right now.”
“Of course you’re not,” she said, her voice softening with calculated sympathy. “What she did to you, to all of you... it was cruel. Using her Ophis magic to manipulate your emotions, make you think you were bonded...” She stroked my cheek. “But I’m here now. I can help you through this.”
I stepped back, suddenly needing space. “I should check on Eris.”
Hurt flashed across her face before she masked it with understanding. “Of course. Your shield comes first. I get it.” She pressed a lingering kiss to my cheek. “Find me when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.”
She walked away, hips swaying deliberately, knowing I was watching. I should have called her back. Should have taken what she was offering. I could have closed my eyes and pictured Jupiter, and fucked Melissa’s wet pussy until I blacked out and didn’t have to think anymore.
Instead, I turned toward the woods where Eris had disappeared with Lyssa. The sounds of the party faded as I moved deeper into the trees, following the faint feel of Eris through the bond. Our shield bonds remained intact even as the axis bond felt withered like a severed limb.
I found him sitting alone on a fallen log, head in his hands. No sign of Lyssa.
“Where’s your admirer?” I asked, dropping down beside him.
He looked up, his amber eyes bloodshot and unfocused. “Sent her away.”
“Why? Thought you were looking forward to... what did you call it? ‘Fucking the memory of that silver-eyed demon witch out of your system’?”
Eris laughed bitterly. “Turns out it’s not that easy.” He took a long pull from a flask I hadn’t noticed before. “I got her clothes off and then... nothing. Couldn’t even get my cock to work.” He passed me the flask. “Pathetic, right?”
I took a drink, the whiskey burning less than the truth. “Aiden’s been through half the Taurus dorm with the same result. He said every time they even touch him he gags.”
“And you?”
“Same,” I admitted, running a hand over my face. “It’s like she ruined us.”
We sat in silence for a while, passing the flask back and forth. Above us, the stars seemed impossibly bright, reminding me of the starlight that had poured from Jupiter’s skin when she’d nearly died in Philadelphia.
Had that been real?
“I saw her today,” Eris said suddenly. “In the library.”
My head snapped up. “And?”
“And nothing. She looked...” He struggled to find the words. “Broken. Like someone had hollowed her out from the inside. Didn’t even lift her head when people started whispering. Just kept reading whatever book she had.”
“Good,” I said, the word tasting like ash in my mouth. “She deserves it.”
Eris studied me for a long moment. “Do you really believe that?”
“Don’t you? After what she did?”
He looked away, his expression troubled. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” He took another drink. “But I know what I feel. And it doesn’t feel fake, Percy. It feels like my heart’s been ripped out of my fucking chest.”
I knew exactly what he meant. Every morning, I woke up reaching for her, the phantom sensation of her body next to mine so vivid it was staggering when my hands found empty sheets.
Every night, I dreamed of silver eyes and serpent tattoos, waking with her name on my lips and tears I would never acknowledge burning in my eyes.
“We’ll get through this,” I said, not believing it for a second. “We survived before her. We’ll survive after.”
“Will we?” Eris asked quietly. “Because it doesn’t feel like surviving. It feels like drowning in slow motion.”