Jace
“To your right.”
The camera’s flash as I train my eyes to look in as many lenses as possible. Normally, I’d hang out for a while and give the photographers more of what they’re looking for but I can’t manage the patience this time around.
I move a few steps forward and face them again, placing my hands in the pockets of my dark navy tux. It’s fitted and probably the best I’ve ever looked considering how wrecked I was less than a week ago.
I shift in their direction, opening up my jacket, displaying the fitted vest that hides the bottom portion of my tie. I’m wearing a Salvatore Marino suit from his Ocean line. It’s a stretchy satin material with all blues, greens, and teals, representing all the shades of the ocean.
He chose all blue except for my white button down shirt. It’s classy, sophisticated, and very much me, with a little twist since I normally wear black.
I wave and move on to the next group, but before I stop the mumbling of the other reporters grabs my attention when someone calls Lennox’s name.
My body stalls as my neck swivels slowly in the direction the photographers are now facing.
He strides up the red carpet behind me in a deep purple suit that brings out the brown specks of hazel in his green eyes. His dark hair is slightly shaggy around his ears, the top flops over his forehead in some intentional mess, styled to perfection.
“Oh fuck,” I whisper to myself as he beams a smile and steps up to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a platonic chest bump like we haven’t been estranged for the last month.
There are dark purple rhinestones that match his suit covering the lapels. His collar is splayed open with purpose and the black satin undershirt is unbuttoned showing off his chest and phoenix tattoo that I’d give a fortune to see unobstructed again.
How he pulls off such an eccentric look with so much confidence I’ll never understand.
“Hi,” he says, giving me a soft smile.
“Hey,” I say, still shocked that he’s here.
“Lennox, Jace! Over here!” a photographer yells out and we turn simultaneously in that direction.
We’re standing just a few feet apart from each other. It’s a stark contrast from how we were during the press conference and I hate the distance. It feels like a goddamn mile.
Questions are flying around from everyone, asking Lennox where he’s been and what he’s been up to.
“Off the grid, my friends. Off the grid,” he says easily, in his signature Lennox fashion managing the crowd like he usually does. He waves and steps closer to the entrance of the building holding his hand behind my back, leading me there.
I shiver at his touch and I think he feels it, but I don’t care. I want to stop all of this so I can pull him aside, kiss the living hell out of him, and tell him how much I miss him.
“Jace.” Gordon waves me through the crowd of other presenters and nominees as we walk through the doorway. I turn but Lennox is gone.
“Where did he go?” I ask Gordon.
“Who?” He squints at me confused.
“Lennox,” I reply, looking around.
“He was here?” Gordon asks another dumbass question as he squints back at me confused.
“You didn’t see him?”
Gordon shakes his head. “Uh, no.” His expression changes from worrying about the chaos around him to concern about me.
“He’s here,” I say, like I’m not losing my mind but now I’m starting to question myself.
“Well, they’ll seat him near us then. Come on. They’re asking us to go to the auditorium.”
I follow closely behind him as we maze around the horde of people mingling in the vast space. It’s always like this before the lights dim and the host comes out but it seems more chaotic than usual, maybe because I can’t stop searching for Lennox.
“If he’s here they’ll seat all of the nominees for your category in your row. Pay attention,” Gordon calls me out as he pulls me near the front.
If?
Because he probably thinks I’m losing my mind, too.
We finally make it to our designated row and I find my seat next to Cody Kane. We shake hands and exchange pleasantries but I can’t seem to focus on anything but the room full of cast and crew members of the nominated movies, unable to find the one person I want to see.
A few minutes pass and more people are seated but there’s still no sign of him.
The brightness in the room dims and the stage lights pop on, along with the large stage-wide screen that displays the 49th Annual Silver Screen Awards logo.
All the nominated actors are here, except one seat at the end of the row is empty. The one reserved for Lennox and the idea that I made that all up in my head makes me question my sanity.
“Fuck,” I breath out in what I thought was a whisper, but Cody turns to look at me.
“You good?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, I just—” I think about lying to Cody or being vague like I am with everyone but I don’t need to force myself to hold back anymore. Nor do I need to hide who I am or be afraid to say something that I shouldn’t. “Lennox.” I tilt my chin at the empty seat. “He should be here.”
“Oh yeah, he’s behind the usher.” He points down the far left aisle. “He must have got caught up with the paps outside or something. They won’t let him in until a commercial break.” He looks at me like I should know that, and I do, but I was too busy thinking I conjured him up.
“Oh, sweet,” I say, unable to hold back my blushing when Lennox looks over the usher’s shoulder and shrugs with a smug face.
The host’s opening speech was excessively long but finally she steps off stage and a three-minute countdown pops on the screen noting when the show starts again, or at least when we need to be in our seats.
I turn around, seeing Lennox stride in my direction—looking mouthwatering, I might add. Everyone stands as he shimmies his way through the row giving everyone a nod, high five, or chin tilt in acknowledgment.
He slows as he passes in front of me and the fresh scent of cedar and spice invades my senses. I shift my stance, unaware of my foot placement because his close vicinity has sent my brain in a tailspin.
As he steps forward, his foot lands directly on top of my toe and I hiss falling back. He tries to catch me but instead, he loses his balance and stumbles on top of me.
“Bloody hell,” he spits out as he braces his hands on my hips and torso for balance.
“Walk much?” I say playfully as I gaze at him, taking in his sharp jawline and piercing jade eyes.
“Guess I got distracted,” he says with a smirk, his lips fucking distracting me.
I genuinely can’t help but smile and his face falls as he clears his throat and pushes himself back up, holding out his hand to help me sit upright.
“Thanks, mate,” he says, then passes by Cody with a nod, taking the seat opposite him.
The entirety of the show I sneak glances his way, lingering when I feel like I can get away with it. During intermissions the other actors talk to him and I’m not able to snag his attention.
He’s avoiding me now and it’s causing me more anxiety than the best actor announcement. Which is coming up after the intermission.
The clock counts down to zero and the lights dim again. Two actors from previous years walk onto the stage announcing the nominees for the Best Actress category and the winner is Sabrina Winters, someone I’ve never worked with before but she’s absolutely brilliant in everything she does.
They exit and Elodie walks onto the stage to the film score from last year's Best Picture winner.
That sneaky thing. She never told me she was the presenter for my category. She looks my way and winks but her eyes widen when she sees Lennox. She covers it up quickly and begins to introduce all the nominees.
They’re presented in the same order as the nominee announcement so Lennox is first and I can’t help but glance over and smile, proud of what he did for this movie.
She continues with the other actors then calls out Cody Kane who fistbumps with me, Lennox, and the other guys.
Then Elodie says my name. It’s a surreal moment.
I’ve been nominated multiple times and have never won.
I’m competitive with myself more than with others, so I don’t experience the same kind of disappointment others do, I think.
And honestly, Lennox did a better job portraying Ryan Wilson than I did James Davis, at least in my opinion. But as I peer over at Lennox, seeing a genuine smile as he hears my name, I know I’m really fucking biased.
“And the Silver Screen Award goes to…” She tears open the top of the envelope, the rippling of the paper echoes through the mic before she pulls out the name card and says with excitement, “Jace Wilder for Iron Horizon!”
Genuine shock blankets my face and no acting skill I’ve mastered can cover it. Lennox stands to his feet, his arms shooting straight up in the air as he hollers through the auditorium and the other nominees stand, pulling me out of my chair because I guess I hadn’t stood yet.
“Holy shit,” I spit out, shaking hands with the guys as they push me down the row, away from Lennox even though I try to reach for him.
“Go, go get your award,” one of them says and I’m suddenly in the middle aisle making my way to the stage.
Elodie bounces with a smile as she holds out her arms, embracing me in a hug, before handing me the silver trophy and I almost drop it from the unexpected, unproportional weight.
“Congratulations!” she says as her eyes flicker over my shoulder at Lennox then back to me, a wistful expression passing over her face.
I step up to the mic, placing the base of the trophy on the podium and look out over the crowd.
“Wow,” I exhale, the mic picking it up louder than it should. “No one told me how heavy these things are.” The crowd chuckles as they finally take their seats from the standing ovation.
“I didn’t have a speech prepared. I think everyone says that.” I chuckle. “But I really didn’t see this coming.” I glance over at my row of seats seeing Lennox leaning forward, his full attention on me.
“I have so many people to thank. Pierre Martin, you believed in me for this role and I can’t thank you enough for the opportunity to cast me in something that was wildly out of my comfort zone. Your vision is truly remarkable and I thank you for your mentorship.”
Pierre puts his hands together and bows with a rare, proud smile.
I go on to name all the people that helped from the producer, to Wren for her brilliant intimacy coordination. Sofia for keeping us on track and all of the cast and crew.
I turn my gaze to Lennox, taking in his frozen form, still leaning forward with his fingers interlaced together covering the bottom half of his face. He’s engaged in every word, proud and happy even with this being a loss for him.
“Lennox.” I suck in a deep breath trying to calm myself. “There are no words that I can say that will justify how grateful I am that you went on this journey with me.” I pause, looking down at my feet, trying to muster the courage to say everything I want.
The composer starts waving his stick, queuing the orchestra to start the music.
My heart is pounding behind my ribcage, I can feel it in every corner of my body.
I glance around the room, taking in the silence of thousands of people and it’s in this moment that I know I have his undivided attention.
That I have the chance to say everything I want.
He might leave right after this and I’ll never get the chance again.
“Wait, please.” I wave to the composer. He stops, glancing at the camera behind me, the timer hitting zero. I swallow thickly.
“I do have words. Actually, I have a lot of things I want to say.”