3. Sophie
THREE
SOPHIE
“Fucking kill me,” I mutter when I find the invitation in my mailbox. I knew it was coming; it’s alumni gala season, after all. I just hadn’t expected to find my name listed as one of the graduates being recognized for my role in the development of the humanities mentorship program.
The Annual Alumni Gala, an event I’d been going to for the past four years on the arm of one of the most well-respected professors at the university. A man with credentials well beyond his years and an ego to match. A man who’d waxed poetic about our future together, especially when we were with my friends and family. A man I’d existed for up until five months ago, when he told me out of the blue that he was out because he needed to be on his own for a bit. “I am feeling stifled” were his exact words. It was confusing because we didn’t actually spend that much time together with our schedules, and yet somehow I was stifling him. He told me to move out by the weekend, and seeing as how all the furniture was his, all I had to pack up were my clothes and some books.
The following week, I’d stopped by to drop off a couple books of his I’d packed by accident, and a woman I recognized from a first-year master’s class I had assisted with answered the door. At first I figured she was there for some academic reason, but then I heard Gregory call out from somewhere in the house. “Is that the food, baby?” I’d looked her straight in the eye, turned, and walked right back to my car. I ended up leaving the books in some random Little Free Library down the road from his place.
And now I was being recognized for the mentorship role I took on last year and was expected to attend this stupid gala where he was listed as the keynote speaker. She’d probably be with him, stars in her eyes as he kept her close, guiding her this way and that. Having such a handsome man who was at the top of his field take an interest in you was addictive. I’d ignored every single red flag he’d thrown up, and I’d kept every story that didn’t paint him in the best light to myself, convinced that one day he would change, go back to who he’d been in those first few months when he’d love-bombed me so hard I couldn’t see the truth through the flames.
I have to go. The connections at the university are still important to me. I just don’t know how I’m going to do this and maintain composure when he walks by with her on his arm like we don’t have a history. Like he hadn’t swept into my life, upended it over the course of five years, and then kicked me out of his. I know I’ll weigh the pros and cons about going until the last minute, and I know I’ll show up and plaster a fake smile on my face. The worst part is, I know he knows it too.
My grumbling stomach reminds me that I’d had a smaller than usual lunch and after looking between the fridge and my lunch bag still sitting on the counter, I opt to eat the sandwich I’d made instead of making something else.
“This is fucking pathetic, ya know,” I mumble to myself as I sit at my kitchen table all alone with a glass of water and my sad day-old sandwich.
I’d had visions of the kind of life I would have when I found a full-time job in my field. A life that involved happy hours and flirting with men in suits. Instead, I’m mindlessly going through the motions of eating while scrolling through Instagram. Cass has posted a couple new reels for the rescue. The first one features old footage of my parents’ bull Jason running through the frame, followed by her boss Bennett and his wife Marley shouting and waving their arms. The second is a slideshow of Bennett and Marley on pack walks with their many, many rescue dogs. The final image however has me breathing in bread and meat and gasping for air. Three pairs of hiking boots sit on a log, the log where Bennett found an injured Marley and where he later proposed. Once I get the food dislodged from my airway, I call Marley.
“Hey, Soph!” Marley answers, a knowing tone in her voice.
“A baby!” I screech, unable to contain my excitement. I can hear Bennett’s deep laugh clear as day, glued to her side like always.
She laughs. “That’s what I’m told.”
“How, when…when?”
“Well I think the how is pretty self-explanatory. The first when, well…definitely after I got home from my last trip.” She sighs as if remembering it. “The second when I assume means the due date, and they told us August twenty-seventh. Which means I’ll be in the last part of the pregnancy during the hottest months. It’s going to be awesome,” she deadpans.
“Does this mean you’re done working for a bit?”
“Damn straight,” I hear Bennett proclaim. “The travel stuff, anyway.”
“Simon and I are working on a follow-up to our first book so I’ll focus on that for the foreseeable future,” she clarifies.
“And then?” I know I’m being nosy, but I don’t know how Marley is going to ever return to conflict photography at all if she’s got a kid at home. Meeting Bennett changed everything for her professionally, not that she’s ever complained, but I can’t see how this life continues as-is after a baby.
“Undecided. Thankfully there’s still lots of time.”
“Well, I think this is great. Do my parents know?”
“Your mom is the reason I took a test. They had us over for dinner, and the second I smelled her baked ziti I ran to the bathroom and threw up.”
“Oh no!”
“Oh no is right,” she whines. “Even the mention of the sauce is too much. Let’s move on.” I feel awful for her. It’s a running joke that my mom’s tomato sauce is actually what she’d come back to Bennett for five years ago.
“Wait, does this mean Bennett can’t have any, um, stuff either?”
“It is considered contraband and no longer allowed in the house or within smelling distance of Marley,” Bennett says, and I can’t help but think of the contraband I secured for Foster today.
“You started work today, didn’t you?” Marley asks, changing the subject.
“I did.”
“And?”
“So far I haven’t done much beyond forgetting my lunch, eating half of a coworker’s, and rearranging my broom closet-sized office.”
“Well, I’m glad someone shared their lunch with you at least.” Marley yawns.
“I’ll let you go. You sound tired.”
“It’s my new normal, sadly,” she says through another yawn.
“I’ll be up there in a few weeks for Easter break. I’ll pop round to see you at some point.”
“Well, we are having brunch at your parents’ place so we will definitely see you. However, you know you’re welcome here whenever, especially if you want to talk about things that aren’t safe for Karl or Nancy’s ears.”
“I definitely will. Night, you two.”
They wish me a good night in unison, in perfect harmony as always. No love story has ever made my heart as happy as Marley and Bennett’s, and it feels nice to have been a part of it, even if it was incredibly minor. I once had a brief spark of hope that I had found my own love story with Gregory, only to realize there was no love there to build a story with. Now I’m back to thinking about that fucking gala again.
My phone lights up as I’m getting ready for bed, and I see Cass’s name pop up in my notifications.
Cass
A little birdy told me you and Foster are now coworkers.
Was that little birdy Foster?
Foster is anything but a little birdy. He’s a sturdy birdy—a very sturdy, very nice to look at kind of birdy.
It may have been! I didn’t know you were going to be at the same school!
I didn’t even know he worked in the city.
Yeah for like 4 years. Have I never told you that?
Not even once.
Well surprise he lives and works there! It’s not fair that he gets to see you all the time.
You could always find a job down here. I’m sure there are loads of businesses looking for good communications people!
I love you, I like Foster, but I am not leaving Bennett’s to move to some smelly-ass city to work some corporate job!
Speaking of Bennett, I saw the reel then had to immediately call them. Why didn’t you tell me?
Exciting eh? I was sworn to secrecy. You should see them though, B was already a doting husband but holy shit it took some convincing that M could walk to the barn without him right next to her.
Well considering how she was when they first met this doesn’t surprise me at all. He’s a caretaker by nature. Things should be fun!
Indeed!
I’ve gotta go, we’ve got a new litter and they are getting hungry!
Night!
Today may have been my first day, but tomorrow is when I actually get to work, and when I get into bed, I do my best to mentally plan. But the second I envision the orange folder sitting on my desk, planning goes out the window. I end up thinking about a certain redhead who, even after all these years, still sets my heart racing.
I bet Foster has a life. He probably met up with friends to do something fun tonight. He was always surrounded by a big group of people and was never short on women vying for his attention. Maybe I could ask him to come to that stupid gala with me. He’s the complete opposite of Gregory, he’d be a nice distraction, and no one from my academic life knows who he is. Unless he’s dating someone, which he probably is, but I could ask. The worst he can say is no, which would leave me no worse off than I am now. Although a no would be humiliating and I’d have to see him every day knowing he didn’t want to accompany me to an event and I’d end up spiraling trying to figure out what it is about me that made him say no.
I could sell it as a night out with an open bar and free food. I just have to think positively. If I ask him to go with me as a friend, he’s going to say yes. He’s going to say yes because he’s the kind of guy who, at fourteen years old, tied the skates of his sister’s friend because her arm was in a cast then skated beside her for an hour in case she fell. The kind of guy who drove us to the mall with a smile on his face the first day he had his license. The type of man who becomes an EA, gets woozy at the sight of blood, and shares his lunch with flustered forgetful coworkers. He will say yes, I repeat until I drift off.