Chapter 45
“Anything you have to say to me, you can say it in front of Sabrina,” said Marielle when Cilla had asked if she could have
a word in private. “But I’m not sure I want to hear it.” Cilla didn’t protest, though Marielle wouldn’t have stood for it
if she had.
“I didn’t want to come empty-handed, but it’s Sunday and there was no place still open to buy flowers,” said Cilla.
“Cilla, if you’d brought me flowers, I would have rammed them where the sun doesn’t shine,” replied Marielle coldly. “Now
what do you want?”
“You don’t know how sorry I am for what I told you,” said Cilla.
“I won’t ask you to swear that on the Bible.”
On cue, Cilla reached into her handbag and took out a small Bible, which she put on the dining room table.
“Anything you wish me to swear to, I will.” She took in a breath as if to strengthen herself. “You might be glad to know that
you were right. About Hugo.”
She told them that when she’d been putting everything back in the drawer that Flick had turned out, she noticed that her checkbook
had a couple of stubs in it without checks attached. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d used it—who used checks much
these days?—but she certainly wouldn’t have torn checks from the back before using the next one in line.
“I rang the bank. The checks were made out to some woman. I hadn’t even noticed. Six thousand pounds. I should do my banking more often, shouldn’t I?”
Marielle remained impassive.
“Other things had gone missing too, when I looked around. I didn’t want to believe it. I’m not trying to use any of this to
excuse myself, but I thought I’d tell you anyway. The police came to arrest him this morning. He hadn’t a clue it was coming.
Quite the floor show for the neighbors.”
Hence the swollen eyes, thought Sabrina, but no, what had been going on in Cilla’s life over the past days wasn’t an excuse
for what she’d thrown at Marielle yesterday.
Cilla left a silence, maybe for an entirely justified “I told you so,” a gloat, a laugh of ridicule, but Marielle was above
that. She just let the silence linger until Cilla was ready to break it. “What happened was all my fault, and I promise you,
it just happened the one time. Roy was having a fling with a barmaid. I was upset, I cried on Sal’s shoulder, one thing led
to another. Both of us were disgusted with ourselves afterward. And yes, it was as base and vulgar as it sounds. I was ashamed
because I’d committed adultery, I’d lost my moral high ground, but Sal was completely beside himself at what he’d done. I
know you had a new start when you left Italy, and he felt he’d smashed it up. He told me how much he loved you and begged
me not to say anything. I swore to him that I’d never hold it over him, he had nothing to worry about. Felicity couldn’t have
been anyone else’s, but I said she was Roy’s and he wasn’t around to disprove it, seeing as he died not even knowing I was
pregnant. Sal once asked me outright if Felicity was his and I lied and told him absolutely not. He loved her because she
was family, but he never knew she was his daughter.”
Cilla placed her hand flat on her Bible then and said, “I swear that everything I’ve told you is the absolute truth.
I haven’t dressed it up, I haven’t taken anything away.
That’s how it happened and I could not be more sorry.
I’m sure that if a psychiatrist had a good look in my head, they’d find some very errant wiring in there.
I’ve always wanted to be better than everyone else, but as you can see, I’ve never managed it.
” Cilla was crying, real tears. Marielle knew they were genuine because they were just rolling out of her eyes; she wasn’t drawing attention to them, hiccupping sobs, artfully dabbing her cheeks.
She picked up the Bible, put it in her handbag, and took out a folded tissue.
“I’m going to tell Felicity now. I wish I didn’t have to.”
“It’s her truth to know,” said Marielle.
“As if she doesn’t hate me enough.”
“She doesn’t hate you, you silly woman,” said Marielle. “But make yourself a little bit easier for her to love. You have to
try before it’s too late.”
Cilla nodded and then put the tissue down on the table. “I said I didn’t want to come empty-handed. These aren’t mine. I never
should have had them. I’m sorry.”
She walked out before Marielle had the chance to get up and see what she’d left. Inside the tissue were Marielle’s mother’s
engagement and wedding rings.